〖three || visiting her〗
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the soba that the male made did taste pretty good. he was surprised that he did well especially when he is literally sleep-deprived right now. once he was done, he proceeded to go and wash the dishes. the water from the faucet making a relaxing sound in his ears, making the silence disappear temporarily. he sighed in mere satisfaction. he dried out his hands with a towel and walked to the living room. he sat down on one of the couches, feeling something is out of place within the room. shoto todoroki wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he knows for sure that it had something to do with you.
he thought that he could move on from that incident, but it seemed like his mind had other plans at hand, and decided to be a little bit of an ass about it.
his mind couldn't stop playing that memory when he would look at the photograph like a gramophone that would constantly replay its old records. he is, after all, unsure of his feelings for you. but he knew that he feels something towards you.
he might have to ask his sister about it because he is unsure of this warm yet longing feeling in his heart. he is always so clueless after all.
he looked over at the black telephone that was ringing for about an hour ago. he walked up to the telephone and looked through the telephone's history. it was an unknown number that called him?
"it's probably spam or something..." he thought to himself as he pressed certain buttons to get to the call history, always making a little click when he pressed them. he has those old landlines. yes, he is an oldie; but can you blame him?
he raised his eyebrows, the number didn't start with fishy numbers. in fact, it was a number that he actually recognized.
it was from his father. what did he want? he would imagine what his father would say, but all he could hear is him scolding him for not training hard enough recently. he shook his head.
he sighed and placed the telephone back on its stand. he actually thought it was something important but it was just his father. probably to ask him about his training or something like he has always done in the past years. he could care less, this is an off day for him. he's not dealing with him today.
sure. he's becoming a better father figure and looking after him but at this point, he's been pestering him to train these days like a parent telling their child to exercise because they are getting 'fat' or something. it's kind of obvious why the male would've thought that.
the heterochromatic eyed male decided that he wanted to visit you sometime soon after staring at the picture, even though he couldn't handle seeing you in such a weak and vulnerable state. a few days ago, the hospital called him to let him know that she can have visitors after all. he was relieved that you survived. he didn't know if he would want to bring the picture along or not, so he left it back on the table with the black telephone.
it was hard to visit his mom the first time, he figured out that it'll be hard to visit [your name] the first time too. he decided that he'll visit you the next day and went upstairs to his room. he went to bed, his thoughts being blocked out by his exhaustion.
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the male is so tired right now. not physically surprisingly, but mentally instead. after all, all of these emotional moments are really tiring him out. the memories are starting to hurt his head.
he went to the bathroom to do his duties and then got ready to visit you at the hospital. he was also mentally preparing himself, on top of that.
it appears that there was a week after recovery and you were finally allowed to have visitors.
shoto todoroki walks to the hospital with a scarf around his neck and also wears a denim jacket. no, he still didn't feel like using his quirk to regulate his body temperature. he didn't feel like doing anything except wanting to see you. unfortunately, he couldn't sleep that much the night before because for some reason he woke up about two hours later. my lord, insomnia really hits him hard sometimes. yet, he still looks presentable so it's fine.
it was still the morning in which the male sighs heavily.
"my, it's still morning," he thought as he unintentionally frowns at the glaring sun.
he is also wearing sunglasses and a cap so his fans won't notice him, he isn't in the mood to sign autographs nor doesn't want the attention from those fangirls right now, especially their high pitched screams. he eventually arrives at the door of the hospital successfully, without catching any attention. thank goodness.
he walks into the hospital. the receptionist lets him know your room number, a bit surprised at first since it was the pro-hero shoto himself. he nodded as thanks and started walking down the hall, his hands in his jacket's pockets.
he trudged along the halls of the hospital, the white and sterile walls seem to be sickening to him. the reason being is because he can't believe such a color so bland can inflict so much pain on him. it was so quiet, he could hear his own footsteps. the silence was always there.
he started walking towards his destination again, glaring at the white plain walls. he never knew that the silence of the hospital was so suffocating.
your voice decided to start echoing in his head, past conversations never-ending repeating inside his head like a broken recorder. he never knew a voice can make his heart flutter? he wasn't actually sure of this feeling, but it would also make him want to cry.
why does the silence have to be so annoying now? it's so loud and obnoxious. he wishes that the sound would just be quiet for once.
he finally arrives at the door to [your name]'s room, seeing your nameplate at the side of the door. his eyes darted down to his shoes, feeling ashamed of himself. he realized his mind stopped playing your voice for a bit. maybe it's cause his mind finally acknowledged the situation? he is so confused with his emotions right now.
the heterochromatic male wished he could've stopped you from getting hurt.
he thought that he didn't deserve you, that he doesn't deserve to even visit you right now. but then, he came all of this way. there's no need to back down from this now. he grips on the handle of the sliding door. then lets go of the handle, doubting. he stares at his hand.
he had to do this.
the male proceeded to take a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to see the sight of you after a week. he slowly reached for the handle and opened the sliding door carefully and quietly.
he honestly can't believe it. the silence was relaxing and sometimes the birds would chirp tunes to break the silence for a short time. nothing can pass through this kind of silence. silence will always come back because not even the loudest noise could scare it away. however, this silence felt comforting this time.
finally, a relaxing atmosphere that didn't feel like it was preventing him to breathe.
you were sitting up and leaning over the headboard of the bed. your [eye color] eyes that were admiring the beauty of nature as well as the peacefulness of it.
"her eyes are still so bright," he thought. he was relieved. nothing has broken you, it seems like. even though you may seem all peaceful, you had so many cords attached to your arms and chest area, which were helping you to stay alive. you had thick bandages around your head, possibly meaning you had some kind of brain damage.
your hands start to fidget. it is obvious that you were fidgeting because of the sudden change of temperature. it is almost springtime after all. your mind was probably up in the clouds because nature is after all, breathtaking. the hospital has managed to grow a pretty garden, probably because they wanted their patients to feel relaxed. the bi-colored male's face showed indifference but his eyebrows were raised for a second.
somehow, he has found this as a breathtaking scene. what a sight.
the dual eyed male took note that you have never looked over at the door. however, you were showing a smile that wouldn't exactly be shattered so easily. it was a fascinating one.
shoto todoroki wishes that you will grant him that same bright smile again someday. the smile that would always brighten up the day without fail.
he sat down in a chair near the bed. he glanced over at you, who is still looking over at the window that is presenting the beauty of nature. the heterochromatic male knew that your head was probably up in the clouds. you were still smiling with a light in your eyes.
he knew you were still the same as before. in some way, you didn't really change even though you have lost a huge part of your memories. but he couldn't help but think if you were to look at him and smile like that towards him. then maybe, he'll be able to feel something warm, something that he has been feeling when he was near you. because seeing you smiling like that made him want to smile too. it was that bright.
he wanted to keep a straight face and keep his composure, but the corners of his mouth kept frowning. even his facial muscles don't want to smile. he couldn't even look at you in the eye. but how can that be possible when he was the one that caused this to happen to you? you also look so beautiful and captivating, even though you were just recovering from a drastic state. he still found you wonderful perhaps.
shoto todoroki didn't even know what to say nor does he know how he feels. everything seems so foreign in the hospital, but it managed to spark his interest. however, when he would try to speak, he would push those words back down. he stared at you, but his gaze would always shift away to the window that presented the wonderful nature of the gardens. the conversations couldn't even get started to begin with.
because they have already ended before they have even started.
he found the silence kind of unsettling now. he is aware that silence is golden, but why did it feel like it is the loudest noise that is ringing in his ears? he wanted to cover his ears, but something was flooding his tear ducts. well, surprise. they are his tears.
he took off his sunglasses; strangely he has never taken them off until now. he also took off his cap and set the necessities on the bedside table begrudgingly. he proceeded to cover his mouth with a hand to quiet down his sobs, as he began to feel the moist tears flooding his eyes. tears were sliding his cheeks unknowingly. he hasn't cried in weeks, months. it felt good to let it out once in a while. he lets out a quiet, muffled sob. he feels like it was his fault that you got hurt so badly like this. he buried his head in the sheets of the hospital bed out of mere shame. he felt ashamed of himself.
you seem to be unresponsive as if you were hypnotized by the outside world. you have never looked his way nor did you have ever looked at him directly. he never felt your gaze burning into him either, which would mean you haven't responded to his presence, as if he was never there in the first place. the young todoroki frowned at this. tears continue to flow down from his different colored eyes, the heterochromatic male knew that you had some kind of critical brain or nerve damage involved, as expected. you weren't showing any signs of awareness either.
you were like a doll with no feelings.
he felt disappointed in himself as a hero because he couldn't save you from that. and because he didn't stop you and save you from the consequences, you were now just a living robot.
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before he knew, he heard the door opened. he saw that it was ochaco uraraka. he was relieved that it wasn't the nurse, he isn't going to lie. he put on a straight face as he wipes his tears away as if he hasn't been crying a few minutes ago.
he has to act like he's fine. he doesn't want the brown-haired girl to worry about him.
the pink-cheeked girl perked up at the sight of the bi-colored male. she gave him a friendly wave, quite energetically in fact. the female then glances at you, who was still staring at the window as if it's the only sight that you wanted to capture everything in front of you, like a camera.
she moves a chair near the dual eyed male and sat down next to him, "wow, she didn't even notice me coming in..." she puffed out her cheeks, "it's kind of crazy..." her brown eyes shifted to the young todoroki as she blinked, "todoroki, are you alright?" she was concerned for him.
it seemed like she can read him like a book. they do hang out often along with a certain green-haired male so they got closer over the years. he gave her a curt nod.
ochaco uraraka gently pats the bi-colored haired male on the back with an understanding smile, "it's okay. you don't have to bottle your emotions up! you can tell me! we're friends, aren't we?" the male nodded again as she smiles sadly, "because crying doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you have been strong for too long."
he was shocked, to say the least. he has never known that was something that he needed to hear after all of these years. of all of these years where he didn't receive comfort from anyone. of all of these years where he has always been by himself; especially from the brown-haired girl who is a bit of an airhead sometimes? he isn't lying about that, but she really is sometimes.
before he knew it, a fresh tear fell as more started to fall like a never-ending rainfall. the female didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his figure as she rubbed in a circular motion. of course, she went to grab some tissues to provide to the male. it was a sorrowful experience to see.
she frowned when she glanced over at the clock. she had to go because it's time for her to do her hero duties and patrol within a few minutes. she had her arms back at her side as she fiddles with her fingers with a worried expression, "i..." she didn't want to leave one of her close friends alone, she is deciding on what to do, "i have to go on patrol at twenty...i am so sorry. i know you want someone at your side but-"
"i-it's okay." he smiled reassuringly, "i'll be okay."
"you're staying here a bit longer, aren't you?" she looked at the male then at you once more, who is still acting unresponsive, "you two were always inseparable..." he nodded as the female bobbed her head in agreement, "as expected!" she wasn't surprised, "let me know if [your name] starts feeling emotions again! 'cause she is acting kind of weird..." she had a small smile on her face however it was clear that she was worried.
as she got up and walked to the door. she glanced at the male one last time with a bright smile, "well, hope things are okay todoroki! see you around!" the door closes shut.
the silence was back and shoto todoroki couldn't help but have sad thoughts that were literally screaming at him. it sounded like it was the truth when they told him that it was his fault.