I like this chapter a lot, and I hope u do too
"Where are we going?" I ask as the elevator opened and we both stepped in it.
"For a ride." He answers vaguely like usual.
He clicks the floor that went down to the underground garage. I thought we were just gonna go to the roof or something, I was only in a sweater and track pants.
He leaned against the opposite wall as me, red flannel on and open over his plain black shirt. I leaned against the wall across from him, hands in my blue sweater pocket with the hood up. My eyes were burning from the amount of tears I passed, but I was calm now.
Although it felt a little unsettling not knowing where I was going with him, I didn't have the strength to really question it. I was drained of energy, I hope we weren't going anywhere far or suspect.
"I'm not going to take you somewhere to kill you, so relax." He spoke up out of nowhere.
I tilted my head up and realized I must've looked nervous without even noticing it, lost in my own thoughts.
"If I wanted you dead I surely would've done it by now." He chuckles, the elevator doors opening to the underground garage as he leaves me with that random statement.
Thanks?
He walks out and I follow, his hand running back through his hair. I held my adjoining hands in my big pocked, shuffling behind him as we ventured past all these vehicles.
I assumed he had his red convertible again, given that's what we drove last time. Our footsteps echo in the very open garage, his heavier steps mixed with my quieter shuffles.
Walking a small distance behind him, I peered up at his tall frame. He had a casual walk, but naturally it was very intimidating. Staring at the back of the red flannel I examined his body and how perfectly shaped it was. His shoulders were broad, the widest part of his body. From there his body slightly narrowed down to his slim hips. He was very built in an 'I don't need to try' sorta way.
He turns to a parking space that had a black motorcycle.
I froze in my stance as he walked up to the unstable vehicle, turning his head back when not hearing my footsteps anymore.
"What?" He asked in confusion, standing right next to it.
I immediately got flashes back to the day on the bus where Nova and I watched the guys on motorcycles, and how crazy Harry was. I remember how he was driving recklessly through traffic and standing up on the pegs without even holding onto the handles. He nearly got into twenty different accidents for that five minute slot I was watching him.
"I..erm.."
"Are you scared?" He asks.
I scratch the back of my neck, fear rallying through my mind.
"You're kinda a crazy driver.." I mumble in discomfort.
"I've never been in an accident." He assures while turning back to the engine and hopping his leg over it to sit. My stomach was turning. "What scared you the most about it?"
"You being crazy." I answer because it was a very easy question.
He chuckles and looks down at the handle bars, running his hair back out of his face before grabbing the leather fingerless gloves resting on the front. He undoes the strap and slides them on his large hands.
"I won't do anything crazy." He says while pulling the straps around his wrists.
"Promise?" I was still second guessing it.
"Sure." He nods, suddenly revving up the engine. It was louder then I thought so I jumped a little bit.
I guess that's the most I was going to get out of him when coming in terms to a promise.
I toughen up mentally and walked over to the bike that was now mildly vibrating with him on it. I throw my leg over the seat that was harder to get on then I thought. It vehicle was very big for my short legs.
"You'll have to hold onto me." He states, turning his head back to his shoulder as I sat comfortably.
I nod and wrap my arms around his waist, my body against his. The sound of the engine echoed through the garage, my heart was racing very quickly. I put my feet on the back steel pegs while he had his own to rest on.
"We should be wearing helmets." I mumble in caution.
"We probably should." He revs the engine so it echoed through the open space. "Worst thing that happens is death though." He suddenly rips off down the parking garage.
I gasp as we suddenly were flying, my arms tightening around him. Of course he had to say that last part right before we leave.
He speeds around and out the exit of the parking garage, going up a ramp to get to the road. I've never been on a motorcycle before, it was very nerve racking. I couldn't trust Harry was gonna be safe with this ride, I just hoped wherever we're going wasn't too far.
He turned onto the street, kicking speed at what felt like a hundred times faster the minute we hit the open city road. I pinched my eyes shut and held on tight, hearing the motorcycle revving down at a speed I knew was illegal. The wind blew through me as it felt like I was terrifyingly flying in a dream.
Through the chaos, I could smell the pleasant scent of his cologne through his flannel shirt. He always smelled really good.
I opened my eyes and looked out at the road we were speeding down, it was eleven at night and the streets were basically empty of people. Only a few cars were around, leaving the downtown roads open and free for his reckless speeding.
But with the feeling of the air breathing through my clothes mixed with the tranquility of flying down the road—I started to feel free.
Looking over his shoulder, I took in the feeling of gliding down the smooth pavement. Time started to seem like an abstract thing. I kept my arms wrapped around his stomach, resting my chin on his shoulder and just watched the open road surrounded by the lights of tall city buildings.
When he got to a red intersection, the wind stopped blowing in my ears as he slowed down to a stop. Once stopped his turned his head back to look over his shoulder.
"You good?" He assures.
I nodded and smiled, actually enjoying it more then I thought. It was a eccentric feeling, so indescribable.
"Try standing up." He suggests with a devilish smirk.
"No way." I chuckle, not wanting to push this enjoyment. All I could think about is falling if I stood on these pegs.
"You won't fall." He states like I'd take his word.
"You don't know that." I clarify.
He laughs a bit and shakes his head, the stop light turning green.
"Suit yourself." He sped off again, making me jolt and tighten my grip around him out of startle.
We break the limit again and fly through the next to empty city road in downtown Charlotte. The wind picking up through our clothes. It was the perfect weather, warm with a cool breeze. My hair was nearly dry at this point as it blew in the wind behind me.
I watched out at the road and thought about what he said, standing. I think it would be too crazy for me to stand, but then again as long as he stays on two wheels then I should be fine. Right?
I shut my eyes for a second and quickly made up my mind, telling myself to take the risk.
I slowly loosen my arms around his waist, gently bringing my hands up his sides and to his jagged shoulders over the thick flannel material. Gripping softly, I look down at my green sneakers on the pegs, just making sure they were on there solidly.
I shut my eyes.
In my next move I gently started lifting myself off the motorcycle seat, gripping his shoulders harder for leverage. Very carefully I ease my head up over his, my knees bent with the souls perfectly on the centre of the motorcycle pegs. The wind started hitting my face harder giving it wasn't hidden behind his anymore, the feeling gracious when my eyes were closed.
Before I knew it, I was standing straight on the back of his motorcycle.
I courageous opened my eyes and immediately seemed like I was flying, not seeing the motorcycle when I was looking straight over Harry's head. I felt like I was a skyscraper in the air, untouchable. It sounds cliche, but all my worries and troubles went quiet for this moment. For once it felt like I was carefree, and god it was an amazing feeling.
I smiled the widest I have in a while, almost laughing to myself at how amazing this was. I was shocked I built the courage to do it, and now I never wanted to get down. This was similar to standing in the car with Harry, but something about the motorcycle made this so much more empowering.
Harry gave my left ankle a little quick squeeze, making me peer down and see him glancing up at me from my stomach just a second to see my eccentric expression. He grinned proudly that I did it, shaking his head before looking back at the road.
I stare back at the road as we passed the tall streetlights danced along the sidewalks. The lights from the passing buildings were the only form of light at this time of night.
I sit back down and wrap my arms around his waist again, my head nuzzling into the crook of his neck. I felt so alive, it was very surreal. His body heat was pressed against my chest as I wrapped around him from behind, needing that warmth to balance out the cool winds breezing through my baggy clothes. I hope he didn't mind how much I was curling into him, it was a foreign thing for me to do.
We make a left and head towards what seemed like a stadium in the distance. After a few more seconds down the road, I realized that was his destination.
It seems like an outdoor stadium, and I know this because it was shaped in a giant oval dome with no roof and it was lit up with white stadium lights within it. We swivelled up the road and entered the empty parking and drove right up to the front.
Jerry Richardson Stadium.
The name was written across the front of a football stadium. We pulled up to the entrance way that had a big flight of stairs that lead to a closed gate and a wrap around chain link fence.
Why were we here?
He pulled up and parked in spot, turning off the engine and leaning on his right foot to hold support of the bike. The cool air went still, and now you could feel how warm it actually was outside.
He takes off his gloves as I let go of him, a little confused in why this was his choice if place to go get high.
"A closed football stadium?" I look up at the massive walls in front of us that weighed the field inside.
"You're correct." He nods, clicking the foot stand up.
Still straddling the bike, he reached into his pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. In silence he takes one out and lights it with the black disposable lighter. Cupping his hand over the end, it eventually catches flame to the point he sticks the lighter back in the pack and shoves them in his pocket.
He flips his leg over to the other side of the bike and hops off, turning to me and holding out his hand for me to grab. I take his hand as he helps me off the large motorcycle so I was flat on the ground again.
"But why—"
"Can you climb fences?" He asks as we stood stationary next to the bike, asking me out of seriousness while leisurely smoking the cigarette.
I arch my brow.
"....I think." I shrug. "I'm guessing we're trespassing into a football field?"
He smirks and nods, running his hand back through his thick hair. I don't know why he'd bring me here out all places.
"How come?" I ask.
"Well," he turns and starts walking away from the bike, towards the large flight of brick steps leading up to the closed stadium. "Have you ever been to an empty football field at night?"
I crossed my sweater arms and follow quietly, he was being vague like usual. I don't know what was so special about a closed football field but like usual I just didn't fight it.
"No, I haven't." I murmur, walking up the tall flight of stairs behind him.
He didn't say anything after that, just kept his leading pace. I glanced up at his built body walking a few steps ahead of me. He had a confident walk, slightly intimidating. A puff of smoke would venture in his pace he created.
When we got to the top slowly, I followed him over to the locked metal gate that was the entrance way to the field. Next to the steel gate on each side was a chainlink fence way taller then both of us. I haven't climbed a fence since I was a kid, and this was a tall one.
Once at the chainlink, he turns to me and leans against it with crossed arms.
"Think you can do it?" He challenges, a small grin plastered on his face evilly. He had doubt in his eyes, but if he doubted me that much then I'm sure he wouldn't of brought me here to begin with.
I stare up at the ten foot fence, contemplating for a moment. I guess I had to try, I was kinda nervous to fall once I'd get to the top though.
I huff and walk up to the fence next to him, looking up at the intimidating height of it. In impulse I lift my foot up to stick between one of the metal slots and hike myself up. From there I start manoeuvring up the tall fence, strategically choosing where to stick my toes so I wouldn't slip. I was getting flashbacks as a kid.
But before I knew it I was at the top, slinging my leg over and sitting myself there for a second. The top spikes of the chainlink were folded down so I could sit on it without metal going up my ass.
I look down at Harry still standing, looking up at me with his arms crossed. He was very far down now that I was up here. He smiled and shook his head in slight shock, rolling his tongue in his mouth so I could see it drag from inside his cheek to his bottom lip.
"Are you coming?" I asked while straddling the ten foot fence, smirking.
He chuckles and puts the cigarette back into his mouth, proceeding to lock his fingers around the chainlink.
He hoisted himself up, making the fence rattle between my knees. Before I knew it he was at my level, throwing his leg over and sitting at the top of the fence right in front of me. He got up here a lot quicker then me, plus he made it look extremely easy.
Both of us gripping the bar we were straddling, he held the cigarette in his mouth and glanced at me. Our knees were almost touching, that's how close we were sitting.
Ten feet in the air felt like a hundred, Harry and I up here tricked my mind into thinking we were the only ones awake in the whole city of Charlotte.
I lolled my head back and stared up at the stars painted in the night sky. It was clear as ever right now, not one inch of gloom covering any stars. I smirked to myself, amazed by this small yet impactful image from my seat on top of a rickety chainlink fence.
I brought my head back down ahead of me to look at Harry again, but when our eyes met he darted them away and looked over to his right.
There was a pause before he spoke.
"Scared of heights baby?" He cocked his head to the side and asked through the cigarette between his lips.
I shook my head, even though I was a little bit. I didn't really wanna look down at how far I had to climb back.
"Good." He smirks, taking out his cigarette and blowing the smoke into the night air.
He brought the cigarette out and sticks it between my lips without saying anything else. Surprisingly I took it so the filter sat between my teeth, the ashy end subtly smoking. He than takes his one leg and slings it over to the other side, jumping down to the ground.
I widen my eyes as he jumped the ten foot fall, landing perfectly like he was just merely jumping over a puddle.
When he was turned around and looked up at me from a great distance now, he intertwined his two hands down by his hips. Did he expect me to jump too?
"I'm not jumping down." I mumble around the foam filter in my teeth.
"I know, that's why I gave you the cigarette." He chuckles.
I turn my body and throw my leg over so my stomach pressed to the chainlink. From there I climbed cautiously down the fence, a lot slower then his sudden jump. Luckily my sneaker eventually met the hard cement, and I was on the ground.
Turning around to face him, I took the cigarette out of my mouth and held it out for him to take back.
He takes it and nods, putting it back between his lips to where he takes a drag. Mid inhale he slings his arm around my shoulders and gets me to walk with him in his warm side across pavement.
We walk to the edge, realizing we were up at the top of the nosebleeds seating that overlooked the giant college football field. It was lit up from huge white lights. It nearly took my breath away how huge the field was, it was completely empty.
He smirks and blows his smoke out into the June air.
"All to ourselves." He says while proceeding to walk us down the stairs between the seating that wrapped around the entire arena.
We walked mildly down the narrow steps, his arm around me while he continued to smoke the length of his burning cigarette. I kept my hands in my pockets, looking around at the huge stadium that was empty of people. The field seemed massive, I don't think I've been to one this big.
When we got down to the grass, I drew my eyes around at how massive the open area was. I felt tiny within this huge field, Harry as well.
He took his arm off my shoulder and walked ahead of me, looking around as well like he was also taking this all in. While walking he rotated his body in a circle, staring up at the bleachers around the whole stadium. His cigarette was almost at the end of its life as it sat between his plump lips. He looked up at the sky in awe, running his hair back out of his face as the white lights lit up the entire field.
We kept walking across the field while gazing up around the arena in our own worlds. It was a very surreal feeling, being the only two in a football field this big. It was like all of human existence was wiped out and we were the last two standing.
Once we got to the centre, he collapsed to the grass, laying on his back with his limbs spread out like a star.
I looked down at him as he whipped the cigarette out and tossed it to the side, looking up at me and grinning. I chuckled and sat down cross legged next to his hips, putting my hood up.
"So, why the football field?" I ask while looking around still, my hands resting on my ankles.
He propped himself up on his elbows, looking at me to his right. His long legs were extended out in front of him, black converse hugging his feet.
"It's quiet." He shrugged, tapping his toes together on the grass. "I like quiet places."
"It's nice." I agree, looking around still. This really was amazing.
He sits up completely turns so he was facing me rather than me facing the side of him. He crosses his legs like mine, reaching into his pocket to pull out an Altoids Mints tin case that was no bigger than a pack a cigarettes. He opens the tin and revealed the five wrapped joints, taking one out.
"Have you smoked before?" He asks while closing the tin and putting it next to him on the grass.
"Not really, no." I mumble in uncertainty.
He smiles to himself with his head down, taking out his lighter as we sat with our knees almost touching.
"What does 'not really' mean?" He rasps, bringing the black lighter back out form earlier.
"Not at all." I correct with an awkward smile.
He chuckles and shakes his head.
"You'll need to take it easy than, you don't know how your body will react." He warns while sticking the end of the joint between his lips.
He looks up at me again as I nod, agreeing.
He uncrosses his legs and spreads them while popping his knees up in the air. He than pats the grass in front of his lap.
"C'mere." He gestures me to come sit between his legs on the grass.
I quietly scooted between his knees, snaking my legs on the outside of his hips so we both were seated on the grass between our legs. I was practically straddling him but instead sitting on the ground rather then his lap.
Why did he need me to sit so close?
With the joint between his lips, he takes the lighter and brings a flame to the twisted end of the paper. While holding it to the end, his cheeks hollowed a bit and his jaw sharpened too. He sucked in while bringing the flame down and putting the lighter to the side, than taking the joint out between his two painted fingernails.
He looked into my eyes while holding the smoke in his mouth, scooting closer to me as our legs were propped around each other.
He leans in and gently rests his forehead against mine, taking his thumb and bringing it up to carefully pull on my bottom plump lip, separating it from the other. I parted my lips and looked down at his, his hand now snaking around the back of my neck to hold me against him.
He parts his pink lips, very gently letting the thick smoke trail out so I could smell the drug. He very carefully pushed the air so it trailed into my mouth from his. I quietly breathed in as he breathed out, very slowly and sensually taking the smoke he blew for me. It leisurely scavenged across my tongue and down my throat, it was warm like a cigarette.
He carefully watched my lips while doing it, letting me take all of what he just inhaled from the joint. It was a soft way of easing me into the drug before taking it straight from the thick joint itself. My cheeks burned red, I held his knees without even thinking about it.
This felt really erotic all the sudden.
I shut my eyes and took in the end of the smoke debris, pulling my head back from his as I felt it circle in the back of my throat. I than blew it out slowly to the side, surprisingly I didn't cough.
Once it was completely out, I looked at him again as he sat back up straight.
"Good?" He assures.
I nodded, slightly blushing but trying to hide it.
He took another hit from the joint, pulling it back and breathing out the thick smoke quick but instead of hitting the sky it went up his nose and recycled back into his chest. He held the debris for another few seconds before titling his head back and breathing it out into the air.
I felt hypnotized watching him, he did it so effortlessly like I expected. He was so smooth with it, obviously having a lot of experience.
He holds the joint out to me, offering me to do it on my own this time. I took it from his slender fingers, carefully bringing it to my lips.
"Don't take more than you can handle." He instructs as I held it between my lips and nodded.
I carefully started to suck on the rolled end, feeling the heat fill my cheeks and valley down my throat. I was very slow with it, not wanting to overdo it. It wasn't until I felt the warmth tingle in my chest that I stopped. I wanted to hold it, but my impending asthma didn't like that too much and rather me cough it out a bit.
I coughed the smoke out and covered my mouth with the sleeve of my arm. He smiles at me and shook his head, taking the joint back between my fingers and watching me cough up a lung.
He leans back on his palm while smoking it again, calmly watching me like he expected I'd have this coughing fit.
"What did I say?" He snickers.
Once I got myself together, I shook my head and cleared my throat. My eyes were slightly watered, but I was coming down from it.
"Why is that worse than a cigarette?" I give my last few hiccuped coughs.
"Because you tried to take more than you could." He answers in slight humour. "Which I expected."
I get myself together and shake my head, finally putting a halt to the coughing.
"I'm bad at this." I whine a bit.
"You're learning." He corrects, taking another smooth drag from the joint like he was rubbing it in subconscious at this point.
He hands it to me while breathing the smoke out, letting me try again. We were still sitting all intertwined with each other, his head was only a few inches from mine. The space between us was a strong scent of the pot, it seemed like it withered around us even being outside.
I brought the dampened end to the joint and tried again, this time not breathing in as much so it wouldn't reach my chest. I stop the second it hit my throat, holding it from just a second before carefully breathing it out so it flooded between us.
I smiled when I did it successfully this time, the grey smoke between us slightly hiding my smile in success.
"There you go." He nodded, taking the joint from my yellow painted fingernails.
I felt a bit of a tingle in my chest and a heaviness in my head but it was minor. I watched him gently take another puff, my eyes focussing hard on it because I suddenly felt a need to. His perfectly pink lips gently surround the paper wrap, sucking delicately.
His bottom lip was slightly glossed, it was really beautiful for some in particular reason. When he pulled the joint out, he gently blew up into his nose again so it recycles through his system, doing it so perfectly.
I bit the inside of my cheek, watching his mouth alone while he worked the smoke like a game. My mouth went a little dry, it felt kinda cottony. I don't know if it was the weed or how I was just so tranquilized by his cherry shaded lips.
I've never been high before, this seemed like it was already hitting me just by the way I was staring differently at him.
He blew out so my sight was shielded slightly by a foggy wall slowly withering around us. This felt like such an abstract concept, sitting here in the middle of a literal football field smoking as joint with him.
"You wanna kill it off?" He holds out the last bit of the burnt joint.
Even though I probably shouldn't, I nodded and leaned forward. He held the end for me this time as I smoked the pinch left of the weed, looking down at his painted finger nails as he held the joint with his thumb and index finger.
I take the last bit of it and pull away, blowing the burnt thin layer out between us. He smirks at me and tossed it to the grass, it was crazy how fast we went through that.
"How do you feel?" He asked while leaning back on his palms.
I smiled and nodded, "Good."
My heavy eyes venture down the length of his chest and all the way down to his hips between us. I could slightly see his sculpted torso through his black shirt, seeing how it curves slightly across his chest muscles. I knew he was very fit underneath the fabric, I could imagine it perfectly if I really thought about it hard enough.
Why was I thinking so hard about it?
"Are you checking me out?" He suddenly speaks up, immediately I realized I was staring right at his body with no need to hide it.
I glance up at his slightly reddened eyes as he was partially grinning while laying back on his palms.
"Yeah." I admitted with a smile, not caring to hide it all the sudden.
He chuckles and shook his head, looking out to the left with a smile.
A smile.
His smile, it had dimples. Did he always have dimples? They were very prominent when he smiled like that. Have I ever seen him smile like that? I think I've only ever seen him give a small grin or a devilish smirk to me. This smile was an actual smile, with teeth and everything.
"You're blushing." I spoke my thoughts as he was looking off over his shoulder still.
"No I'm not." He laughs and turns back to look at me.
"You're cheeks are pink." I smile.
"Because I didn't expect you to admit you were checking me out." He admits but also defends, still smiling but now right at me. It was definitely a different type of smile, it actually felt genuine.
It's because it wasn't that mask I used to think about. This wasn't one of those fake smiles he would give me a lot in the beginning to trick me into something, this smile was real.
And it was so fucking warm.
"I'm sure people check you out all the time." I chuckle, pulling at the trimmed grass in my fingers. It felt softer all the sudden.
"Why are you complimenting me so much?" He cocks his head to the side in curiosity.
"I don't know." I shrugged.
He sat up straight so he was closer again, but he suddenly grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap completely so my chest was pressed against his. I laughed for a reason I didn't know, his eyes lining right up with mine as I really was straddling him now.
He pulled my blue hood down and untucked my hair from the sweater so it fanned completely down my back. His eyes led to my neck, focusing on it with his red rimmed eyes.
"Look at those marks." He murmurs in awe, taking the back of his finger and running it down the hickeys on my neck from the night before.
He was starting at them with his emerald eyes that were so hard to figure out. His appearance looked very high, but it seemed like he handles it well. I didn't feel like I was handling it well at all.
"I did a number on you angel."
His finger graze up and down my neck felt so surreal, almost like I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not. I started to trip out thinking if his finger running up and down my neck was something that was actually happening or if my mind was raffling it up.
"You did." I whispered, trying to swallow but thinking about it too hard so I couldn't.
He hummed as my eyes narrowed down to his neck, staring at the perfect untouched skin. In impulse I leaned forward and pressed my lips against it, it was as warm as I thought. I kissed the area once, feeling his heartbeat as I pressed against the skin. I than parted my lips slowly and latched onto him with slight suction, pulling at the tender skin in purpose to leave a mark like the ones I have.
It's like a return policy, right?
He scuffles at the action, holding the back of my head by raking his finger though the roots of my hair. His other large hand pressed to my lower back, pushing me closer to his body.
"Av.." He breathed heavier as I sucked gently on the soft skin covering the muscles of his neck. His voice was a mix of shock and surprised pleasure.
I liked it when he called me that.
I could smell his cologne, it smelled really good. I could feel his heartbeat thrumming against mine, almost in unison.
I bit lightly down on the wet skin, applying a little more suction before disengaging. I pulled my head back and looked at the mark I created, it was violently red and sure to stay like that for a little while.
I look back at him and as he stared down at my lips. He kept his hands where they were before, breathing heavy like I did something to him. I lapsed my tongue across my bottom lip, sharing the tight air with him even though it didn't feel like enough for the two of us to breathe right.
He brought his hand around from the back of my head and to my cheek. The skin on skin contact felt like fire to my blood. He than brought his hand down to cup my chin, his thumb snaking up and pushing against my bottom lip.
I parted my lips more, his painted thumb swiping back and forth over my plump bottom lip. His eyes stayed focused on the touch, my heart was racing so fast. I wish I could hear his thoughts as loud as I could hear mine.
His thumb poked slightly between my teeth, and from there I took it upon myself to lean my head forward into his thumb while wrapping my lips around it. He parted his lips as I slid his thumb into my mouth. In a teasing motion I sucked gently on it, but only for a second.
The action made his eyes go a little wide, and immediately he exhaled a sharp flustered breath. He turning his head away and pulled his thumb out of my mouth, shaking his head.
"Okay we need to stop this." He breathed out in a struggling state, obviously weak to the simple action I just did. "You're giving me bad ideas."
I grinned from the drug, a confidence bursting in me by his flustered reaction to what I just did.
"Why?" I pushed, biting my bottom lip.
"Because I won't be able to control myself." He shakes his head but couldn't hide his grin, his real grin.
I shrugged and tipped him backwards by my body pressing against his. He fell to the grass, my body straddling his hips and my hands pressing to his hard chest. I don't know where this confidence in me was coming from.
"Aven.." He laughed as he laid beneath me, slightly shocked.
"What?" I grinned.
"You're one of those stoners that get turned on by everything." He states in examination but laughed about it.
I place my hands on the grass next to his head, hovering tall over him. He moves his hands to my hips as my hair hung down around us.
He smiled up at me and trailed his eyes down my neck while I was an arms length above him. His dark hair was strewed all around on the grass behind his head, suiting him very well. He seemed like a different person to me right now, I wasn't intimidated by him in this moment. It must've been the pot, because I've never felt this confident around him.
But his smile faded, and eventually his eyes shifted back to mine to where he looked more serious. The sudden solidity on his face made me a bit confused and let alone nervous.
"You didn't do anything wrong last night." I cleared his throat, suddenly speaking in seriousness.
My mind ventured to last night, realization hitting me of what he meant. Even the drug couldn't make me laugh through this one. My face fell quiet, my eyes staying on his, they looked so green right now.
"I...didn't?" I stammered.
He shook his head.
"I didn't want to leave you." He admits.
I paused for a second before crawling off of him and collapsing down on the grass to his left. We both stare up at the night sky, the white stars littering in the darkest shade of blue.
"Than why did you?" I ask quietly.
He breathed out, causing me to tilt my head to look at him. He was staring up at the sky, his jaw sharp and his eyes focused. There seems to be a confession being held back in his mouth, he was just hesitant to say it. I don't know if it was the weed, but his skin looked like it was glowing in the moonlight.
"I've never delt with anything more complex than myself, and its the most studious thing I've ever had to understand." He answered in a tired voice, tainted by his intoxication.
I couldn't begin to wrap my head around what he just said and what that just meant, but I know it was sad. I stared at his side profile a little longer, trying to understand but I was too high to even depict it properly.
I think he was really high too, because I can't imagine him saying something so poetically miserable sober. If I understood correctly, he left so suddenly last night because he was having a issue with himself he needed to solve. I couldn't begin to understand what kind of issue it was, but maybe he didn't want me to know that much.
He just wanted me to know it wasn't my fault, but I understood he was hurting on the inside.
I tilted my head back up at the sky, focusing on the stars as we laid in the middle of an empty football arena.
I gently flexed my hand that was down by my side, my fingertips blindly grabbing his. Once I felt where it was, I slowly slid my small hand into his large one. My nimble fingers gently intertwined with his, gripping it softly.
I didn't bother looking at his reaction to my move, I just kept my eyes on the sky above us like a dome. I didn't want him to explain anything else he didn't feel comfortable doing, I just have a feeling he was battling with a struggle. I just wanted him to know I understand, and that I'm simple just here.
He gripped my hand back, accepting the gesture and not saying a word about it. With our cold fingers intertwined, everything felt at peace. We both gently breathed, letting the quietness take over between us. We didn't need to speak right now, I just wanted to be present here next to him.
So there we laid in the centre of a trimmed football field, high out of our minds and silently holding each other's hands like we were the only two people left in the world.
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