Yes, you're reading it right, you are on part 5. You're probably thinking: "Part 5? His life at 19 years old was very eventful" and yes, yes it was. I might be writing more because it was more recent than the rest of the stuff I've written. Meaning I'll recall more stuff. But I'm only writing what I remember so here we go.
By this point, we've finished the play and we are now looking for Olivia and Lyra which was more difficult of a task than we thought. We looked everywhere, including the actors-only rooms (at least the ones we were allowed in before) and then we got bored of looking around for her. So we just left and waited outside instead.
Turns out Lyra was waiting for us outside. Olivia, on the other hand, had left... With James. During a small argument that had brewed up between Lyra and Nova (of which I don't recall the reason of but it was probably about James), I stayed silent. The third wheel of the argument. Nova walked away from the argument and Lyra asked me to help her out so I followed Nova. I wasn't sure if she needed her space or not but if Lyra thought she would need me to comfort her, I would. After all, she has known this Nova longer than I have.
Nova and I walked into a darker place that didn't have many people around. My memory fades away here, I might have been blocking it out, but she basically yelled and blamed me for her broken love life and that she shouldn't have brought me to live with her.
I was so furious at myself for making her feel this way and that she was blaming me for things that, at the time, I thought was true. So, I broke my facade and confessed to her who I was. That I was Kai and not 'Chris'. That I was that kid she knew all those years ago, not some random guy on the streets. The kid who played hide and seek with her at her house, not an intruder that didn't belong. The kid that tried to be the best for her but yet she deserted me in the end.
I was pouring out all the things I was keeping away from her and kept pouring them out. But ultimately, when I saw her shocked eyes and slightly sad frown, I knew I fucked up. Fucked up real hard. So I shut my mouth and apologised. My apology didn't do much since the next thing she did was turn back towards her apartment all without a word.
All my fears of being left alone came back and I froze like a statue. I couldn't walk or call after her. I didn't want to beg for her to take my apology just like I didn't want to beg for money. Plus, she really needed her time to think through everything.
I sat down on the grassy floor and started to shiver, I couldn't tell if it was because I was cold or because I was scared of going back to my old life of sleeping alone in the alleyway. Staying in this state for a few seconds was horrifying, never mind a minute.
Thankfully, Lyra shook me out of it and gave me a hug. She hadn't seen me leave with Nova and went looking for me. This moment is what really made us best friends and I bet this is why Lyra is still Nova's best friend too. All we did was talk about what happened; I told her what I said to Nova and she told me what happened between Olivia, James and Nova. The situation was that James was going out with Nova but she stopped seeing him for a while so he started hooking up with Olivia.
We discussed this for a while until she said that I should go to Nova's apartment and talk with her. That she'll need explanations about all of this. Lyra offered a ride to her apartment and, after pondering if I should give up once more or fight for the chance of everything getting better, I decided to take up the offer.
I was scared shitless, although I didn't show it. I was terrified at the idea that I may never see Nova again after this but I risked it because I needed to. I don't know if I would have survived living outside again.
Lyra was right, I can't just give up or hide or forget, I gotta fight. I fretted about all of this during the car ride. We didn't speak, Lyra knew I was deep in thought. She wished me good luck as I left the car. I'm still so fucking glad that she helped me get the courage to talk with Nova then.
I used the stairs instead of the elevator to think over what I'm going to say to her and how much I will apologise to her. But I shouldn't have taken the fucking stairs. I should have been quicker. I should have been there before that fucker got there.
James. James had entered her apartment and, to my luck, left the door open. He was drunk off of his mind and was now on top of Nova on the sofa. Pinning her down as she yelled muffled cries for help.
Cody's name kept coming up in my brain and I mustered up the courage and strength to stop another rape from occurring again. I almost froze in place again but I forced myself to move. Forced myself to break that barrier of fear.
I grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the ground. It wasn't hard to do this, he was bigger than me but he was too drunk to do anything about it. I beat him up, thinking he was Cody. He pleaded for me to stop but I knew he would just get up and beat me up instead. My adrenaline was fucking going off the roof and the worst bit was that... I didn't want to stop. It felt good to take out my anger on someone who deserved it. But, Cody was the one that deserved this more than James did. I don't feel too bad, I wasn't muscular enough to hurt him too badly. I only left him a couple of bruises and a nosebleed with nothing broken besides pride and ego.
Once he got out of my grasp and ran away from me, I finally woke up to my senses. Nova was my immediate thought. I followed her blank, petrified stare to the ground where James had been. As if she could still see him; as if he was a ghost.
She began to hyperventilate before she passed out from stress a few seconds later. I didn't realize she passed out so I checked for her heartbeat and her breathing which was all normal. I think I was worried if James had done something to her like drugged her or some shit.
Taking deep breaths and slowly sitting down next to the sofa, I took a moment to calm myself down. To realise that everything is alright now.
Later on, I made a promise to never do that again. Although it felt good and helped me then, I still do not wanna become like my parents or like Cody. I don't want to beat people up, even if they deserved it, but all of this thinking came after. I wasn't thinking about all of this then, all I was worried about was Nova and I was right to be worried.
Once I got off the floor and stabled myself, I shut and locked the front door with the key that was still on the door and puzzled what to do. Since she passed out on my bedding, I just covered her with it.
I would have brought her to her bedroom but I was weak and tired from beating up James. It would be very worse if I dropped her when carrying her.
Sleeping on the floor with nothing wasn't too hard. Due to Nova passing out on the sofa, I had no bed to sleep in. I didn't wanna wake her up, neither did I want to sleep in her bed so I just slept next to her on the floor.
I've spent many hours of the night sleeping outside on a floor harder and colder than Nova's apartment floor. So at the very least, it was easier to sleep on this than on the streets. I looked at Nova with so many sentiments about everything that has just occurred but yet the worrying feeling overtook every other feeling.
Would she be okay? What will happen tomorrow? How will she take all of this? Will she take it how I did when Cody did this to me? Will she even want me here? Will she forgive me? These are all the questions I asked myself before falling into a much-needed rest.
It wasn't soon after that I got woken up by Nova having a nightmare. She wouldn't stop moving on the sofa and began to mumble and cry to herself. Again, I was lost and had no idea what to do. Waking her up wasn't an option, she needed this sleep and most likely she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. Recollecting events from the past, I did the only thing I thought would help: humming a lullaby. It was what I used to do when she was younger and had nightmares.
Would it work? I had no idea. But did it work? Yes, it did. Deep down, she was still the same Nova I knew before. The same Nova I loved and adored (I can confirm she still is).
I tucked her into bed while humming to her; I don't know how to sing well but anyone can hum a song. She slowly and gently started to breathe at her normal pace, relaxing each and every muscle, just delaying time.
It turned out that I couldn't go to sleep after all the humming. Nova had turned the other way around and was sleeping soundly and it was about time I go to check the time. It was about 4 in the morning I think. Most likely, I only got 5 hours-ish of sleep that night.
I went to look at the stars from one of the widows and just thought about things thoroughly until the sun rose. I was dead tired and decided to just go lay down for just a little bit. And... I couldn't sleep. I don't know why I couldn't since I was so exhausted. My thoughts were just too loud I guess.
Giving up, I got up once more and went to make breakfast. Not knowing the kitchen well and not wanting to make noise, it took me almost an hour to finish making toast and a hot chocolate for Nova.
She woke up just in time and was alarmed by her surroundings until she thought back to what had happened. The pure look of horror on her face is one I can't forget. I had also just noticed her bruises on her wrists and I was dearly afraid of seeing any others. Guilt smash against me like a tsunami hitting me at full force.
It had happened again. I had ruined yet another person's life. At least that's what I thought before. Now I know that it wasn't my fault, that it was James, not me. I did everything in my power to stop him which I did. I couldn't have done anything more.
Shivering and stumbling over her words, Nova started sobbing heavily and hyperventilating once more. I rushed over to her to console her but I wasn't sure if she wanted me to hug her or even lay a finger on her. When this happened to me I felt disgusted and didn't want to be touched whatsoever and was exceptionally defensive. Was she going to be like that too?
I crouched down beside her and waited and till she was feeling better. I was going to give her a hug to console her but she slapped my hand away.
I didn't feel hurt or anything like that, I understood why. I gave her her space and, with a weak smile plastered on my face, I brought the breakfast I made her. I placed it on the tea table near the sofa and... It was all so uncomfortable. I had no idea what to do or what she wanted so I just went to the kitchen for a bit.
All I did was get a glass of water and then wash the dishes for her. I remember just wanting to waste time for her to have the time she needed to eat and all.
A few minutes passed and I went to check the living room. Toast and hot chocolate were gone and so was Nova, leaving behind the traces of the eaten food.
That's when the shower turned on and I got the gist. I got the plate and the mug and washed that too. Then... I just waited around. Trying my hardest to focus on something else, I read that book from before and waited around like a child. I also proceeded to think about calling the police and all of that. She did take a long shower, so long in fact that I got worried if she was okay.
Once I heard her leave the shower I didn't move, I just sat on the sofa and coughed so she knew I was there. As she went into her bedroom, I proceeded to muster up the courage to ask her about calling the police. It was difficult to ask this because that would mean talking about it to others and having to recall it all. But, I feared what the cops might have to say about me. After all, I did beat James up and I had a previous gang life.
As I got my fake bravery, I knocked on the door and she opened it. She didn't look fearful anymore, she just looked restless now.
Asking her the question of calling the police wasn't necessary as her answer to the question was quick and certain. She said "No". I asked her again to ensure if that's what she wanted however I just got the same quick negative answer. Again, guilt approached me since I might be the reason why she wasn't calling the cops.
An awkward silence occurred and Nova broke the silence with an apology. Apologies were thrown around from both of us and we started tearing up. This time she let me hug her but she did take a sharp deep breath when I did. I didn't ask questions.
We stayed home for the whole day doing whatever Nova wanted. Lyra came over and Nova forgave her and told her what happened (it took a while for her to open up but she did). Another crying session did occur.
Staying up until 1 AM watching movies, laughing at stupid jokes, and playing games was what the three of us did. Lyra stayed over and I was ready to be put back onto the streets any minute. Luckily, that didn't happen and Nova asked me to stay which I agreed to in a heartbeat.
And that's all that happened. The next few days were much like this, we got to know each other better and talked about our pasts freely. After the holiday was over, Nova had overcome James and we were just like when we were younger.
When she came back to college, no one knew what had gone on which was great. Olivia had completely distanced herself from us, which was for the better, and James had texted Nova apologizing profusely. He also mentioned that his grandmother had died and he moved back to his parents. Nova said "Karma got to him" after reading the text.
Everything was getting brighter and I was having the best time living with Nova. I've never been so happy.