Bailey's POV
Run, fear, pain, don't look back, faster, faster, don't stop, run. Ignore the pain. Use the fear. Run faster. The world flew past me in a blur, my hair whipping behind me. Pain swirled inside me, my heart was screaming out, telling me to turn around. Screaming to run back to Nathan, back to my mate. But I couldn't. I can't let anyone in again. I can't get hurt again. So I ran. I'm running through the dark forest alone and scared.
I ran until the sun started to come up. My mouth was leather dry, my heart was beating fast, my legs burned from running so much. I heard a river not too far away so I walked towards it, catching my breath and listening to the sounds of all the animals waking up. The trickle of water filled my ears making my mouth feel even dryer.
I drank and drank and drank until I thought I was going to throw up. I knew Nathan was going to notice I was gone soon, if he hasn't already, so I had to try to throw him off my trail. I walked downriver a little ways and then waded into the water and walked further downstream. Once I was quite a ways down there, I got out and walked around a little bit, walking in circles and backtracking. I did that for a little while, backtrack, go downstream, backtrack, go downstream. Once I thought I did good, I went way further down stream and crossed the river. Once I was on the other side, I took off my clothes and tied them loosely around my ankle before shifting into my wolf. I took off at a fast but steady lope through the forest, my wolf tongue hanging out of my mouth.
At least 2 hours went by with me just running, my mind blank. I slowed down to take a really short breather and rest. I laid down and looked around. The first thing I saw was a birds' nest not far from me. Inside was a mother bird with a few little chicks and not far was a male bird, the father. I watched them with curiosity.
Surprisingly, the birds were quite affectionate with each other. Seeing the happy bird couple made my thoughts drift back to Nathan, his kind face, soft words, gentle touch, sparkling eyes. But following that came the picture of him and Wendy...
I looked away from the birds and all around me. All I saw was trees, everything looked the same. Even if I wanted to go back, there was no way. I didn't know where I was or where to go. My loved ones' voices echoed in my head, starting at a whisper. Their hateful words cutting deeper than knives. The pained look on Nathan's face felt like someone was squeezing my heart. The thought of leaving him and the pain it would cause him made it feel like someone was pounding on my chest. The feeling of Nathan's wolf's claws and teeth tearing at my skin, made my skin crawl. The voices were slowly getting louder and louder.
I whined and rested my head on my paws, closing my eyes and trying to get their voices out of my head. I stood up and shook my fur, then started to paw at my head. Nothing was working, the voices weren't going away and were only getting louder.
I whined and curled into a little ball, whimpering quietly as the voices took over me. I just gave into their words. I knew they were right so why try to silence them? I winced as they were pretty much screaming at this point.
Right when I thought their voices couldn't get any louder, I heard a twig snap and the voices vanished, leaving me in complete silence. Adrenaline rushed through me as I saw a pair of wolf eyes. I yelped and took off running the opposite way, I heard the wolf in pursuit. I could tell it was a he, and he was very fast. My legs burned as I tried to run faster but I was too tired and weak, and soon tripped over my own paws, collapsing painfully in the dirt.
I tried to get up but my legs gave out again and I flopped back down ungracefully. The male wolf padded up, not even breathing hard. He was solid black with light amber eyes. He was a very tall and very well built wolf with his head and tail held high. Everything about him screamed dominance and that's what I gave him. I avoided his gaze and curled up into a ball.
He circled me, his gaze locked on mine. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to get that look out of my mind. That same exact look was on Nathan's wolf's face right before he pounced on me in the nightmare. I kept my eyes closed when I heard shifting.
"Shift." I heard his voice. I opened my eyes to see a blonde hair green eyed very tall man. He was wearing black shorts and a white t-shirt. I shook my head no and started to walk backwards low to the ground. "I know you're not a rogue. But you have a faint scent of a pack. Shift back so I can help." He explained. Yet again I shook my head and walked back more. "Shift back!" He said forcefully.
I whimpered but finally complied. I quickly slipped on the clothes, hoping he didn't see all my scars. His hard gaze landed on me and I made myself as small as possible.
"Who are you?" He asked forcefully.
"I-I'm nobody." I whispered. His head tilted to the side a little.
"Did you get kicked out of your pack?" I shook my head. "Did you run away?" I didn't answer but backed away a few steps. His hard stare made me flinch and freeze. "How did you get all those scars?" My eyes widened and I whimpered, backing into a tree and making myself really small.
He rushed over to my side and lowered himself down to my level, everything mean and rough about him vanished.
"Hey, shhhh, I'm sorry." He said, reminding me of those same words Nathan used. My world started to spin and it felt like everything was falling in on me. My ears began to ring, everything was too bright and loud. My breathing quickened as I covered my ears with my hands, trying to silence the ring. The pain in my chest was unbearable. It was screaming and burning for Nathan.
I thought I heard someone's voice but I couldn't make out words. I felt a hand on my arm and I flinched away, stood up and stumbled a few steps before falling. I tensed and waited for the impact but instead felt 2 strong arms catching me.
I just squeezed my eyes shut to try to block everything out. Wind whipped over my body as the man ran with werewolf speed somewhere. Slowly everything became black and I slept.
Instead of slowly waking up like all the other times, I shot awake jumping into a sitting position. Instantly the man from before was next to me and a new person was there, he was dressed like Daniel was.
"Hey shhhh it's ok." The man said. "How are you feeling?" I slowly calmed down. I was in a hospital room on a soft bed. "Does something hurt?" I was silent.
"Please, we just want to help you. Who is your alpha? I can call him if you want." The guy asked. My eyes widened and I shook my head. "Why not?"
"Did he hurt you?"
Yes and no... He hurt me but it was a nightmare. I can't let him hurt me.
I just shook my head no.
"Can you speak?" The doctor asked. I nodded my head. "What is your name?"
"B-Bailey."
"Well Bailey, my name is Logan. I am the Alpha of the Dark Eclipse Pack. And this is Neal, the head pack doctor. What pack are you from? You have a pack scent but it isn't strong enough to pick up." I shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know what they are called."
"Do you have a mate?" I whimpered and nodded my head. "Who?"
"Nathan." Their eyes widened.
"Alpha Nathan of the SunriseWarriors?" Logan asked, I nodded my head.
SunriseWarriors, that's what is was!
They both gasped.
"He has been looking for his mate for years! Congratulations!" Neal smiled but Logan froze and was looking at me curiously.
"Why are you here and not with him? Did something happen to him?" I shook my head. His eyes narrowed slightly. "What happened?" I flinched away from him as he tried to get closer and curled into my comfort ball. He took a step back away from me. Logan and Neal looked at each other and their eyes looked distant, like they were mindlinking.
Not long after, a woman came walking in slowly. She was average height and had a very kind face. Her wavy brown hair bounced softly on her shoulders and her sparkling blue eyes stood out against her skin. The men backed away more as she came forward.
"Can you leave us?" She asked them. Logan gave me a soft smile and left with Neal silently. The woman sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hey," She said softly, I slowly looked up at her kind face. "My name is Clarissa, what is your name?"
"Bailey."
"That's a beautiful name Bailey." The corners of my mouth twitched into a smile. Her face was so warm and calm and her aura was helping calm me down. My body slowly relaxed, everything tense loosened. "How are you feeling Bailey?"
"I'm ok." I whispered.
"Can I get you anything? Water? Food? A blanket?"
"Water and a blanket?" I asked shyly.
"Of course." She slowly stood up and walked smoothly around the room, grabbing a glass and filling it with water then grabbing a blanket and brining it over to me. The whole time being slow, quiet, and having careful movements. She gently handed me the glass and wrapped my shoulders in the blanket without touching me, which I was thankful for.
"Better?" She asked, I nodded my head. "Can I share a story with you, Bailey?" Fear bubbled in me but I slowly nodded my head anyway.
"About 5 years ago, after I turned 16 and shifted, a pack came to visit ours. That's where I met him. Logan. The future Alpha. He was standing there, looking right back at me. Nothing else in the world mattered anymore. It was just about him. But I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to have a mate, or leave home, join a different pack, let alone be a Luna of one. But Logan helped me, he helped me through it and helped me slowly step into the Luna position. He was there every step of the way. Mates are amazing and powerful people in your life. They lift you up when you don't think you can anymore. If you fall, they will catch you and steady you. I don't know anything about you, but I do know this. You are beautiful Bailey. You are strong. You are brave. You, Bailey, you are so incredibly strong. That I do know." Tears weld up in my eyes.
"I don't th-think I can be strong a-anymore." My voice cracked and my throat closed in. Clarissa carefully pulled me into a hug and let me cry on her shoulder. She rocked me back and forth gently. "I-I'm scared." I confessed.
"Scared of what Bailey?"
"I'm scared of letting him in. I'm scared of showing him my true self. I'm scared he will turn me away, I can't be hurt again." I cracked.
"Who Bailey?"
"Nathan, my mate. I left him, I ran away. I left him alone on that hill after he helped me." I whimpered.
"Shh, it's ok Bailey." She held me while I curled up next to her.
"I-I can't be hurt again." I whispered. I felt sadness wash over Clarissa.
"Bailey?" She asked, I looked up. "He would never hurt you sweetie." She said seriously and softly.
"How do you kn-know?"
"Because he is your mate, he would never hurt you. He just wants to help you." A tear slid down my cheek and Clarissa gently brushed it away. "Has he ever hurt you sweetie?" She asked. I thought back since we met for the first time. I slowly shook my head. "See? He doesn't want to hurt you, and he never will."
"But he needs someone who can be a Luna by his side. He needs someone who is strong. And once he sees the real me, won't he just push me away and get someone who is better fit as Luna?"
"You are strong Bailey. You would make an amazing Luna." My shoulders dropped.
"I don't think I can be strong anymore." I whispered, curling into my comfort ball. Clarissa didn't say anything but pulled me into a firm hug, in a comforting way.
"Do you want Logan to come back in here?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"Ok..." Logan came in a few seconds later quietly. He came over and sat on the edge of the bed a few feet away.
"I'm sorry." I said to both of them.
"For what Bailey?" Logan asked.
"For trespassing and taking up your time."
"Oh don't be sorry for that sweetie. You're fine." Clarissa assured me.
"Logan?" I asked. "Could you ever hurt Clarissa? Even if she did something really bad?" His eyes shot open.
"No, I would not and could not ever hurt Clarissa, no matter what she did."
"Would Nathan ever hurt me?" I whispered shyly.
"No." They both answered. Logan continued. "There is no way your mate could ever hurt or push you away."
I dropped my head in shame. "I hurt him." I whispered. "I am a horrible mate. I hurt him, I pushed him away, I didn't let him see the real me." Clarissa hugged me.
"It's ok sweetie, he will forgive you and put it all behind him." I nodded my head.
"Ok."
"Ok what?" She asked.
"Can one of you go call him?" Clarissa and Logan smiled.
"I'll go do that." Clarissa said, she got up and walked out the door.
"Thank you." I said to Logan.
"For what?"
"For helping me."
"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want." I nodded my head slowly for him to continue. "Why did you run away from him?" I swallowed loudly.
"I-I was scared." I sighed. "I've built up a strong defense wall around myself over the past many years, and Nathan was beginning to break it down and it scared me. I didn't know what he would think of the real me. I didn't want that wall to be down if he ever hurt me. So I left." Logan was silent for a little bit.
"Bailey, he wasn't breaking down the wall, he was helping you create a door. A door that he, and anyone else you allow, to enter. Once they are in, they will help you make the wall stronger, more full. They will be there for you always."
I thought about what he said for a little bit. "I never thought of it that way..." I whispered. "but to create a door, you have to start at the bottom, won't it all collapse?"
"Not if you do it slowly, carefully, one piece at a time, and together." He said. I nodded my head. Clarissa came in.
"He will be here soon." She said with a smile on her face. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach.
"Is he going to be mad at me?" I asked quietly. They both shook their heads.
"He will be happy you are found." Clarissa said. They both seemed to notice I was scared.
"How about this." Logan started. "You can stay behind Clarissa and me until you feel ready to go to him. Ok?" I nodded my head. "Are you feeling better?" I nodded again and stood up slowly.
A few minutes later we were waiting by the front door, I still had the blanket around me and I was standing behind Logan with Clarissa by my side.
"He's here." Logan said. Just then, Nathan came crashing in through the door with 2 men following him.
"I'm sorry Alpha, I tried to calm him and slow him down but he-" one of the men started but Logan waved him off.
"It's fine, you may go." The men left and it was just us 4. Nathan's hair was a mess and his shirt was on backwards, by the looks of it, he was rushed.
"Bailey?" He asked, looking hurt and panting. I whimpered and pulled the blanket closer to me. "I-It's me, Nathan." He took a step forward.
"She's scared Alpha Nathan." Logan said softly, still in front of me.
"You don't think I know that?" Nathan snapped angrily, his eyes flashing back and forth between his normal blue and amber like his wolfs. I flinched and scooted closer to Clarissa. Nathan noticed this and looked hurt. "I'm sorry for scaring you angel. Please tell me what I did wrong so I can do better. I'm sorry." Nathan looked between Logan and I.
"D-Do you trust him more than me?" He asked, obviously very hurt.
"Look, she is just scared man, this made her more comfortable." Logan tried to reason. Nathan shook his head.
"What am I doing wrong Bailey? Please? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I don't want to lose you, please. I'll do better. I'll be better! Tell me what to do differently? Please? I'm so so sorry Angel. I never meant to scare or hurt you. Please, I can't lose you!" I couldn't stand his hurt face a second longer. I pushed past Logan and Clarissa, my blanket falling off in the process, I ran to Nathan and into his arms. He caught me and hugged me close, breathing in my scent.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. I shook my head.
"I'm sorry Nathan. I'm sorry for hurting you." It felt so right, to be in his arms, to hear his voice, it all seemed so right. I hugged him tighter and let myself relax under his touch. He let go after a few seconds but kept his arm around my waist.
"Thank you, Alpha Logan and Luna Clarissa, for finding and taking care of my mate." He said, smiling down at me. Logan wrapped his arm around Clarissa's shoulders.
"It was our honor. Congratulations by the way, she is something special." Logan said, smiling. I smiled shyly and hid my face in Nathan's side. They laughed.
"She sure is..." Nathan whispered, looking down at me with a look of adoration on his face.
"Never let your fear decide your future." Winston Churchill
Thank you for reading this far! I hope you like this story! Sorry I haven't been publishing a lot, required virtual school has been taking up a lot of my time. But I finally finished the finals and am done for the year!! So hopefully I will be able to update a lot more. Thanks again for reading this far everyone! Stay safe and healthy!
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