© All rights reserved. LittleThingsInLife
Chapter Thirty.
I woke up feeling very warm and realised my upper body was completely on top of Aidens bare chest.
Looking up at him I notice him still asleep and feel hopeful I can probably slip my leg and body off him without him noticing, As I start to lift my leg back over him I accidentally graze his morning arousal and his eyes shoot open while his hand instinctively grabs onto my leg to keep it in place.
When he looks down at me it takes him a moment to recall what had happened for him to find himself in my bed, with half my body on top of his. He still had a grip on my bare leg as I hadn't changed out of my shorts from yesterday.
"Morning." His voice is gruff from just waking up.
"Morning," I whisper back. "Uhm... c-could I have my leg back please."
"Oh." He says before looking down at my leg wrapped around him, and his arm holding it hostage. "Sorry." He lets go and I move it off him, making sure to avoid Aiden Jr. I still hadn't made any movement to lift the top half of my body off him yet though and his hand was now placed on my hip.
"You sleep better?" He asks, seemingly completely comfortable with how close we were.
"Actually, I slept pretty amazing. Thanks again, for waking me up and ... for staying with me." I say looking at his chest and using my palm that had just been flat against him to trace the contours of his upper body.
I feel him take a quick deep breath and tighten his hand on my hip making me halt my wondering hand, why was I touching him like this?
"You have no idea what you do to me do you?" Aiden asks bringing his hand to tilt my head up making me look at him again, I take note of the darkening in his eyes and feel the flicker of my heart beating faster.
I see his face move down, move closer to me but I'm too slow to realise what it is he's planning on doing until his lips are softly, only just touching mine, like he's waiting for me to pull back and stop him.
I don't and he presses more firmly against me now, moving his lips against mine like I'd never been kissed before; this wasn't rough, it wasn't hard and painful. I slowly copied his movements and heard him moan lowly in the back of his throat.
His hand is covering half my face and kissing me even deeper now, he gently pushes me so my backs against the mattress and he's slightly over me, flipping our original position.
"F*ck." he breathes out before kissing me again, tracing my lips with his tongue, I timidly open for him to intensify the kiss.
I'm surprised how much I'm enjoying this and start to relax some more, tentatively copying his movements and adding my tongue into the mix.
When his hand trails up into my top, his fingertips tickle my stomach and move upwards towards my bra, that's when I freeze.
"Oh princess, you feel so good." Dereks voice is in my head.
"Alex, Are you okay?" I hear Aiden like I'm under water.
"You want to make me happy don't you? ... then stop struggling, I can make it feel good if only you'd do as you're told." Derek is whispering in my ear. I don't want this.
"Alex... Look at me, open your eyes baby."
"Please, stop." I whimper out.
"Alex, open your eyes, you're okay." His words seems louder now and I listen. Aiden is off the bed and kneeling on the floor next to me. Distress is pouring out of him but I can't do anything about that yet, I'm still unable to move, the after effects keeping me locked in place.
"Shhh, it's alright, I'm so sorry, I never should have done that," Aiden stops talking abruptly when I burst out crying.
His apology is what makes me break down, he hadn't hurt me and I knew he hadn't, but I couldn't control my memories from attacking me like that, it just made everything worse that he somehow blamed himself when it was me and my issues.
"Do you want me to get mom? Tell me what you need." He pleads helplessly.
I manage a weak "No."
When I finally cease my crying and get my breathing under control, I turn to see him still on the floor, he must have jumped off me when I panicked.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"Ally, you have nothing to be sorry for, I never should have kissed you, I -"
"No. I... I li-liked it, I j-just, it was just-"
"Too much?" He finished for me. "Yeah, I agree with you and... even though I also liked it, there was more than one reason why I shouldn't have done it. I have a girlfriend and I just cheated on her. You just, you drive me crazy... but we really can't do that again..." he looks at me with deep regret, that we couldn't do it again or the kiss in general I wasn't sure.
Changing the subject he says "Do you want me to tell mom and dad you're not feeling well and want to stay off today?"
Shaking my head I stand up, "No, a little panic attack isn't going to stop me from going to school, I mean I used to go when I'd had a beating the night before, this is nothing, I'll be fine after a shower."
I also wanted to get away from Aiden, he was right; he had a girlfriend, this morning never should have happened, and given my panic attack you'd think that I would agree with him wholeheartedly, but I couldn't, I'd enjoyed being with him at first.
Kissing Aiden had been amazing, and something I never expected to happen; I'd known him my whole life, sure we'd been separated for many years, but he'd been my friend, my comforter.
It sucked because I knew I was probably going to react like that with someone for the rest of my life, how can you turn off the fear in order to live life like everyone else? I wasn't sure it was possible.
.....
"Morning Alleycat, did you want to drive to school with us today?" Lucas says when he sees me enter the kitchen, my eyes flick towards Aiden; had he asked him to give me a lift from now on so it wasn't awkward... was Lucas still trying to make up for Friday night... Or for looking at my see through top yesterday?
"Sure, okay." I quickly agree, grabbing a banana and following him out with the others, I purposely came down with just enough time so I didn't have to have breakfast with everyone, it was an avoidance technique I hoped to continue.
When we reached school I made my way towards Mr Peters class, I'd text Anna and Kim over the weekend saying I'd had a little misunderstanding with the Spencer's and that's why they'd called them wondering where I was, Anna was just beaming with the knowledge that they had her number, Kim on the other hand wanted details of my day with Cameron, which I'd assured her was nothing more than a friendly chat.
"Still so weird the two of you are friends. I'm sure he's into you." Nothing I said was going to convince her other wise so I'd left it and told them I'd see them on Monday.
"Morning Nerdy." Cam greeted when I sat next to him. "How was the rest of you weekend? Did everything get sorted?"
I quickly filled him in on everyone's understanding and how we were all okay now, I didn't mention Aiden and how he knew everything, or the kiss.
"Good." He said before plugging his ear phones in "warn me if Roger comes over will you." and then he proceeds to close his eyes and nap.
The rest of the school day goes by much like last week; including Marty giving me creepy smiles whenever he sees me, but as I'm always with somebody, he doesn't approach.
When it's lunch time, Lucas sits me between him and his brother and leans down to whisper "Forgot to apologise about yesterday, you know with the wet top and everything, I'm guessing Aiden said sorry for all three of us but I wanted you to know I was sorry as well, not that I didn't enjoy the view, it was just a bit of a dick move, in my defence, it was a shock to the system and it took me a minute to engage my brain." His grin was sheepish but the teasing in his eyes told me he wasn't overly sorry it happened.
"It's f-fine, let just f-forget it."
"Not sure I can do that but I'll try." He laughs and continues eating, then joins in on Jamie and Ollie's conversation about how "hot" the softball team girls were and which they were going to talk to at the next party.
It was my last class, and I wish I'd taken Aidens offer on ditching school now; I didn't know if I could stare at him for the whole hour and not think about last night or this morning.
Pushing the door open I made my way over to my usual seat next to Cameron without lifting me head up, when I finally sat down though I couldn't help but look up at him, he was talking to another student before class began.
His smile lit his whole face up and I wanted to be the one he was smiling at. Did he look especially good in his shirt and vest today, or was it because I knew exactly what he looked and felt like underneath it.
A subconscious sigh escapes me while I imagine how this morning could have gone had I not ruined it panicking.
"Alex! Earth to Alex." Cameron nudges me back to reality, and I move my gaze to the boy sat next to me.
"What?"
He laughs "where were you? You were practically drooling."
I lift my hand to my mouth to check and he laughs even louder causing people to look over at us including Aiden.
My face burns as he calls the class to order and starts the lesson plan. I really needed to stop thinking about him in any way other than platonic.
I just wasn't sure it was going to be that easy.