Chapter Forty Three.

1K 46 4
                                    

© All rights reserved. LittleThingsInLife

Chapter Forty Three.

"Are you ready?" I heard Sandra ask behind me, another two weeks had flown by and it was finally, the first day of Dereks trial, I couldn't be dreading this anymore; I'd been having the same recurring nightmare over and over that he somehow got away with everything and got to take me back.

Everyone in the dream just let him drag me to his car and I was screaming for Aiden, for anyone, but they would all just wave goodbye, smiling at me.

Dr Greene said I was manifesting my fears, which I already knew, but the dreams kept me on edge and jittery. Aiden had stayed with me every night but even he couldn't soothe me.

Sandra had suggested a hair cut a few days ago as I hadn't had one in so long, but this had just caused me to shake in fear and have a melt down.

"Why did you react so strongly when Sandra mentioned your hair?" Dr Greene asked at our emergency appointment.

"Derek, he - he'd n-never let me c-cut my h-hair. It rem-reminded him of my m-mom."

I remembered when he caught me with household bleach and scissors, I was younger and wanted to stop looking like my mother, hoping he would leave me alone, but before I could ruin my hair he barged into the bathroom; that was the one time I'd have preferred Stephen over Derek.

The fear he'd instilled in me that day was one I wasn't ready to try to break through, especially when I was going to be seeing him soon.

I'd gotten good at trimming my ends and cutting away just enough for it to stay healthy but also keep Derek happy, and so I'd not been to a professional in years.

Shaking out of memory land I looked up at Sandra stood behind me through my bedroom mirror and saw her smiling encouragingly at me.

Smoothing down my deep purple dress that had a slightly darker coloured belt going around the waist, and making sure my hair - that had a matching head band was all in place, I turned around and nodded.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I whispered out. My stomach was in knots and I wanted to be sick with nerves, when we left my room I had to beeline to the bathroom instead.

Knees on the floor and head over the toilet all I could throw up was bile as I hadn't had the stomach to eat all morning.

I stay in place to make sure nothing else was going to come up, before I stand on shaky legs and make my way over to the sink to brush my teeth.

When I'd composed myself I make my way back out of the bathroom and notice how upset this was making Sandra. She wasn't crying; she was much to strong for that, even if she did it the privacy of her own room, but seeing and hearing what the fear of seeing Derek again was doing to me had her unable to completely hide her true feelings.

"I'm okay now." I lie to try to comfort her.

She leads me downstairs where everyone is waiting; although only a few are coming to the trial with me, I didn't want any of them there in all honesty - I'd spared them the details because I didn't want them to have to hear exactly how I'd lived, now they were going to anyway.

Sandra and Karl were going to drive up with Lucas and Jamie who'd refused to be left behind.

Aiden was driving me, and Sam had asked if he could come with us, I'd nodded because I could tell he wanted to be there for me and although I didn't want them to hear my stories, I did in fact want them there for support.

Nathan and Carla both hugged me and wished me luck.

"You're going to do great, you're so strong Alex, just remember we're all here for you and we love you." Nathan whispered in my ear, we'd gotten a lot closer during these holidays - we would stay up binge watching shows and laughing. I'd tell him my fears and secrets and he'd tell me his.

Charmed Life. Where stories live. Discover now