I feel bad for always forgetting to do this, but thank you for 5k+ reads! I've only been working on this story for a month and it's already pretty popular :) Also hit 35k on Melting Gray! That's insane! I wonder if I'll get to 50k...?
Natsu's POV
"There is toothpaste caked under my nails, dimwit," I complained to Gray irritably.
"Well, maybe you should've used a knife instead of scraping off the icing then, huh, stupid?" He fired back sarcastically.
I gave him a death glare and he matched it, looking at me murderously. "Whatever. Look, four more. Let's hurry up before anyone shows up," He offered breathlessly. I nodded and peeled off the icing as neatly as I could on the last of the chocolate, vanilla-creme cookies.
Gray slathered on the last of the pearly white toothpaste on the clean cookies and re-assembled them, setting them delicately in the bag. I always hated the Oreo's packaging- the middle row was easy and acceptable, but it was near impossible to get out a single cookie from the other rows, and when you finally do, it breaks.
Gray dealt with the mountain of frosting patties while I re-sealed the package and sneakily tip-toed back to the snack table and returned the bag to its rightful place. Rushing back to my spot, I was ready to enjoy the impending doom of strangers. That would sound really menacing if it didn't have context, I thought wearily.
"We have arrived!" A voice boomed from behind me. I sighed, knowing exactly who it was.
"Hey, Bumblebee," I called him by his hated nickname, not bothering to look behind me. I was glad I did, because Sting was pulling a stupid standing-Hamlet pose, hands on his hips and reaching dramatically into the clear blue sky.
"I said never call me that," Sting grumbled. Rogue covered his mouth and closed his eyes in hysterical laughter as his fringe shaded over one eye messily. Sting heard him wheezing and whirled around, faking anger at the black-haired male. "Rogue, not you too..."
"Sorry, can't help it," Rogue chuckled. "Bzzzz."
Sting him a flat look and began to set his blanket up next to mine. "So, what's the plan?" He asked curiously, taking a seat closely next to Rogue on his purple checkered blanket.
"Uh, lots of games and food," I racked my brain, trying to remember when my parents were telling me about it. I usually dose off when it comes to their eco-event lectures. "Kiddie stuff. You know."
"Ooh," Sting rubbed his hands together. "This will be exciting!"
"You are so mature," Rogue said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Sting giggled and rested his head lazily on Rogue's shoulder, looking up into his flushed cheeks.
"Thank you," He winked. I scoffed and laid back down, looking at the sky again. "Say, where is everyone?"
"Here we are!" Lucy chorused from up the hill, waving at us. She was accompanied by Flare, Gajeel, and Levy. Gajeel seemed to be holding Levy's satchel, which I thought was confusing and unneeded, but it was gentlemanly, I assumed level-headedly. They too put out their blankets and we had formed a giant sitting square for the 8 of us.
"I'm hungry," Sting announced, getting up. "Who wants to go get snacks with me?" He asked excitedly, weirdly passionate. Okay, not weirdly passionate. That part was definitely normal.
"I'll come," Rogue got to his feet. Flare and Gajeel also stood up and the four of them went to the snack table down the hill. That left me, Lucy, Levy, and Gray.
I'm the only name with 5 letters, I noted to myself. Weird, but cool.
"So, just throwing this out here, but uh," Lucy wet her lips with a swipe of her tongue nervously, "Are yall doing
the doodly doo?"
Levy looked at her incredulously, her weirded-out expression mirroring mine and Gray's. "What's the doodly d- oh. Oh," Gray paused, eyes widening with realization.
I sighed, smacking my face. "No, we are not doing what you mentioned," I grumbled. "We're both straight, unlike you, missy."
"I don't know about that, my homo senses are tingling every time I come within a five-foot radius of you both," Lucy grinned.
"We're always arguing or Gray's making me do something dumb," I dead panned. "He's simply my guide to living an adventurous life before gratsuation."
"All I am to you is a tour guide?" Gray put his hand over his chest theatrically. "I'm so hurt," He gasped.
"Shut up," I shoved his shoulder playfully. "You're my friend, too."
"Yay, friendship," He shook his hands jazz-style weakly. Gray then received a message on his cell phone, and busied himself with it. I awkwardly smiled at the girls, not really sure what to say.
"I heard they have some really good cheese curls," I babbled.
"Cheese curls?" The girls repeated curiously.
Gray looked up from his phone with a straight face. "Cheese curls," He said monotonously.
"Yeah," I laughed shyly, "Apparently they've got some really cheesy and curly ones. Some are even baked."
Levy nodded slowly, looking lost. Lucy looked like she was about to explode with laugher. Gray, however, remained texting. My eyes casted over to his screen, but the brightness was down, so I couldn't make out what he was doing. Based on the vigorous tapping, he was most likely texting.
When Flare, Gajeel, and the dynamic duo returned with plates of various sweets and salts, I couldn't help but be amused at the fact everyone but Flare had at least four Oreo's on their plates. I inconspicuously nudged Gray and he looked up, eyes shining with identical mischief to my own.
"Did you get any cheese curls?" Levy asked Gajeel bluntly.
"Yeah, why?" Gajeel began to munch on a potato chip.
"Because we have recently discovered Natsu has an extreme fondness to cheese curls," Levy explained boredly. Gajeel choked on his chip laughing. I rolled my eyes, feeling my face grow warm.
Sting butted in to the concersation, picking up an Oreo. I tried not to give anything away, and kept my mouth tugged in a strained neutral expression. "Cheese curls will never match the awesomeness of Oreos," He argued, chomping down, chewing. His face morphed into one of disgust a minuscule of a second later, disgustingly spitting out the Oreo bits into the grass. "What the hell?"
"What?" I barred my eyes innocently.
"That tasted all weird and minty, like toothpaste," He answered suspiciously, picking up another one to closely inspect. Sting screwed off the top cookie and sniffed the creme, nodding in satisfaction. "Yep, toothpaste- hey, wait a second! That's disgusting!"
Rogue wrinkled his nose and pushed his Oreos off to the side. "Not taking any chances," He muttered.
Gajeel, however, had to see for himself. He bit half of an Oreo and cringed when his taste buds detected the bitter mint taste. "Eugh. Nasty," He discarded the chewed-up remains into his napkin. "Fucking little kids, the little bastards need to know that wasn't funny at all."
"I'm sure they're enjoying watching everyone discover their precious Oreos have been mutilated," Gray piped in bemusedly, tucking his phone away in his pocket.
"If I find out who is, I'll throw them into a fence," Gajeel threatened. I gulped and distracted myself from his murderous expression by stealing a cheese curl off of Sting's plate.
One turned into two, two turned into four, four turned into Sting yelling at me for stealing his food and commanding I go get my own plate, and that turned into me guzzling down an entire soda and two full snack-laden plates.
I looked at my hands. They were shaking. I knew I screwed up really bad this time. Now I'd really pay for it.
Squeezing my eyes shut and attempting to block out the chattering friends and world around me, I wrapped my hands around my stomach and wished we could go back in time thirty minutes.
God, you're a fucking idiot, I thought to myself angrily. You fucking know junk food makes you fat, but every time you still eat it. And too much of it, Natsu, you unhealthy, worthless being. Now your thighs are going to get even huger than before and you'll gain 20 pounds and no one will ever love you because you were a fucking hog.
I stood up, swaying slightly. The conversation between my friends continued on as I took my paper plates and sluggishly haul myself up the hill and push them into the trash can. I turn around, only to come nose to nose with Gray, who was literally inches away from me. My eyes dropped down to his mouth as he whispered.
"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, sounding genuinely concerned. I nodded, hoping it was sincere enough, but it didn't seem to work on him. "Does your stomach hurt from eating too much?"
"I- no," I grumbled, averting my eyes by slanting them down at my shoes and taking a step back. "None of your business, Fullbuster."
"Sure it is. You said we were friends, right? I'm just looking out for you," Gray said with an honest smile. "You can tell me."
"Fine," I hissed. "I did eat too much. Okay? Happy?"
"So? You had some snack food, what's the big deal?" Gray shrugged bluntly. I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms.
"Because then-" I glowered before cutting myself off. I almost spilled my greatest fear and worst secret to Gray. Half a second more and he would've known. "Never mind. I'm going for a walk. Leave me alone."
"Pinecone painting in ten minutes!" One of my mother's friends said through the attached microphone. Her magnified voice barely registered in my mind, however, because I was already stomping away.
"Natsu, wait up!" Gray called after me worriedly, his voice faint from twenty yards away. I stopped at the edge of the trail, glaring forward and not daring to turn around.
"What," I demanded harshly, looking like I as talking to the trees in front of me.
"Can I join you?" Gray asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he laughed awkwardly.
"No."
"Aw, don't be like that!" Gray whined. "Hey, I won't say a thing. It'll be like I'm not even there," He offered, grinning broadly.
I exhaled and began to walk, leaving him behind, looking helpless and lost. I didn't realize this, however, and I shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked under the shaded ferns of the forest around me.
A/N: Triggering scene begins now. Read at your own risk.
Nature always seemed to be therapeutic for me. The soft, relaxing sounds of animals, wind, and rushing water overcast a sense of calmness over me. It made me feel one with the universe, like I achieved nirvana. I gazed at the purple wildflowers admirably for a brief moment before continuing down the dugout trail, my sneakers kicking up layers of top sand.
I found a rough tree trunk that had fallen on the ground. I sat on the side of it, able to sit with my knees pulled up to my chest and staying balanced. I rested my chin on my knees, taking note of the random red leaf on the ground that looked a lot like the generic autumn leaf emoticon. 🍁
My thoughts ran around in my head and I felt suffocated even though I was in a vast open space far away from humanity. The previous clicking chatter of humans had faded and was replaced with the soft serenade of woodland creatures.
Everything in my head was starting to affect how I was thinking. I felt dizzy, internally and externally ugly, worthless, and confused. Junk food to me was like self harm to others- temporary bliss with long-term painful effects following it. I knew it was bad for me, like an illegal drug, but stress and getting swept up in festivities overtook my mind and I had unconsciously done it again.
"You pathetic excuse for a human being," I growled at myself weakly, fighting back tears. "You have to throw up in order to make yourself perfect. But you'll never be perfect, because you're disgusting. Your friends all know it too, they just keep it from you. But they think it, because it's so true, and you know it."
Tears had began to flow now. I wished I'd stop crying, because it simply proved the idea I was weak and pathetic. Just another reason why I was so screwed up.
I sunk down on the side of the log, leaning my head against it and clutching my stomach tightly, wishing my abscess would melt away, alongside my insecurities. I cried and cried for who knows how long, feeling relief from letting all my emotions out.
Crying wouldn't get me skinny, however. Only one thing would, I thought drearily to myself as I stood up, shaking as I found a spot way off the trail. I usually did this in my bathroom when I was home alone, so kneeling in front of a ditch I dug out - getting annoying dirt under my nails in the process - was a major downgrade.
I squeezed my eyes shut and saluted the world, pressing my fingers on the side of my mouth and curling them in to hit my gag reflex. Luckily, I had a very sensitive one. Even if it was often irritated and rubbed raw, it still worked like a charm. I threw up my problems, gagging and sobbing and wishing for things I knew I could never have.
I emptied the contents of my stomach for what felt like eternities, but I didn't feel any better. My throat hurt and I still felt grossly chubby. Hanging on to the smudge of hope the scale would drop a few pounds when I weighed myself tonight, I managed to hide the bile with nearby sticks, dirt, and rocks.
My knees felt like jelly and I nearly fell over when I got up. I kneeled on the ground, trying to clear my head and snap back into reality. I smiled at nobody, practicing my facade- also known as the happy smile.
Too bad it was fake.
Wishing desperately for a breath mint, I somehow managed to stand back up without toppling over and crashing to the dusty, leaf-covered floor. I brushed the dirt and mud caked on my knees off, rubbed my bloodshot eyes, took the trail out of the forest, and found my way back to the venue.
A/N: End of trigger scene.
I tried to swallow the prickly irritation in my throat as I saw people gathered around at tables, making woodsy picture frames and paining pine cones. I saw my group of so-called friends and waved timidly when they saw me.
Gajeel was the first one to say something. "Where the hell did you go?" He asked, sounding like he didn't really care what the answer was. I ignored him and brushed it off with a chuckle.
"Just a short walk," I explained to everyone. "Guess I needed some fresh air."
"Dude, we're outside already," Levy gestured to the vast plains around us. I rolled my eyes and shrugged lightly.
"Anyway, glad you're back. Come make picture frames with us before Flare steals all the plastic gems!" Lucy cried, tugging me over to stand next to her.
"Hold on guys, I need to talk to Natsu real quick," Sting said happily, giving me a look that felt cheerful at first, but had that underlying murder feel to it if you really analyzed the emotion. Gulping, I followed him as he tugged me away from the group.
When we were out of earshot, Sting scowled and dropped his nice-guy attitude. "Explain. Now."
"What are you talking about?" I played the fool, looking at him innocently.
"Stop lying," Sting slapped me across the face, making my cheek sting, no pun intended. Touching the inflamed area on my face, I gaped at him in shock. "You've relapsed, haven't you?"
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at his collared flannel to avoid his deathly serious flare. "I- how did you know?"
"I saw you hold your stomach again like you used to. Bad habits never drop. You can't fool me, Natsu," Sting whispered with a rough tone. "What's wrong?"
"I ate too much," I answered pathetically. "I'm still so fat."
"No you're not!" Sting pleaded with teary eyes. "Please believe me, this is coming from your best friend. Don't do this to yourself!"
I tousled my hair nervously. "I'm sorry," I whispered. Guilty, Sting pulled me into a soft hug.
"I know this is hard," He mumbled somberly against the crook between my neck and shoulder, eyes shining bright with hope and worry. "But promise me you won't throw up again?"
I sniffed and forced a smile. "Okay," I nodded. "Promise."
I hoped I sounded confident to Sting to put him at ease, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it for even a full day now.
It was like I stepped back into a time machine to a year ago- I was relapsing, and I regretted every second of it. But I don't care about the pain and hunger shakes, I thought, feeling the last of my hope fade away. Because I deserve this.
Sting let his arms drop to his sides and we went back to the tables. I put on my happy smile, when in reality I was breaking down behind it.
Because I was too lost in my own little world, I didn't catch the sorrowful obsidian eyes desperately boring into me, staring, begging, pleading, praying I was okay.
I wasn't.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
OH. So that happened. Yay... Angst. Plot. Fun fun fun. Can't wait to have more emotional breakdown scenes in the future! Wahoo! *note sarcasm
Thoughts on Natsu's relapse? What's going on? What's coming up next? Gray's POV next chapter, get pumped!
I feel like this book was originally supposed to be a comedy but I decided against it because I have a secret love for angst. Anyway, this will probably be slightly shorter than MG. A little more than 20 chapters, I think, depending on how it turns out.
I eat a lot of junk food, and I really regret it afterwards. I don't have an eating disorder, but I find myself occasionally skipping meals and counting calories. .___. Not many healthy foods appeal to me since I'm so picky but I'm getting better with that!
Thank you for reading! Vote and comment if you hate me right now :x You're all lovely, have a wondrous day!!