"OMG! Ate, I love your dress!" Lyana squealed, standing from her seat and taking a picture of me. Her eyes were twinkling and a huge smile was on her face. I stood at the circle platform in front of the huge mirror.
We were at Patricia Santos's boutique. She was a famous fashion designer in the Philippines. I was thankful she was able to accommodate me despite her fully booked schedule.
Patricia was warm and kind. She listened to my style and incorporated my personality in the dress. Standing before them, I gave a sheepish smile as Patricia placed the veil on my head.
I was wearing an open back off shoulder gown with a sweet heart neckline. The dress was cinched on my waist with a beautiful belt and the gown flared at the bottom adorned with Swarovski crystals.
Turning to my sister and mother, I saw the tears in their eyes. "How do I look?"
"You look beautiful, Laurene." my mother sniffed as I twirled in front of her.
My sister beamed and Patricia nodded as well. I placed a smile on my face.
"Thank you Patricia." I warmly told her, hugging her. She squeezed my arms and nodded.
"Anything for a friend." She whispered.
Pulling away, I turned back to the full length mirror. I did looked beautiful. I looked like a bride. A smile graze my lips at the dress. It was beautiful. It was better than I thought of, yet wearing the dress made it even more real.
I was getting
married.
Swallowing the fear in my throat, I kept my smile intact. It was a week before the wedding, and my mom and Lyana had flown from the states. They took a leave and Lyana just finished with her semester.
There were still a few things to do for the wedding, but I let Dark and my organizers worry about it. I had more pressing matters to do at work since my boss was extremely angry the past few weeks. Everyone was in constant edge. I had been the receiving end of her anger. Hence, even on a Saturday I went to work.
I didn't want any more mistakes.
Helping me remove my dress, I saw Lyana pursing her lips. She was biting her lips.
"What's wrong?" I asked as I stepped out into the dress and put on my casual dress.
She stared at me, biting her lips before sighing. "I work with people in the US, Laurene. I learned to look at people in the eyes and see their emotion." I stilled upon her words "Most brides would look ecstatic when they wear their gown. But why did your eyes showed fear?"
My heart thudded in my chest. My hands clenched at the sides as my sister frowned upon me. I looked away, grabbing my bag and gave her a smile. "I was thinking about work."
"Stop lying to me. You can fool everyone else, but not me." she harshly replied "I thought you never liked to get married. I was shocked when you said yes and went on with the preparations."
"My choices can change." I shrugged, keeping myself as indifferent as possible. A gave her a smile, "I'm fine, Lyana."
She sighed and shook her head before looking at me "You've always been selfless, Laurene. I wish..." she paused thinking of her words before steeling me with her eyes "I wish you could be a little selfish for once in your life."
Turning back, she left me inside the dressing room with my thoughts in a jumble.
After leaving the dressing room, Patricia informed us that she'll have it adjusted, dry cleaned and packed. I thanked her and we went out into the bustling metro. Glancing at my watch, I had a few hours to work before having dinner with my family.
"Where shall we go next?" my sister asked beside me.
"We have a facial appointment at Century City Mall." My mother informed us. I shook my head.
"I can't come. I have work to do." I apologetically told them.
"Laurene, you're about to get married." My mother scolded me.
"I know but we've been on edge the past few weeks." I honestly told them "I'll catch up with you guys later. I'll just finish some stuff at the office. Here take my car, I'm just a few blocks from the office."
"Okay." My mother dejectedly responded. I gave the car keys to Lyana as she she shrugged.
Waving goodbye at them, I walked the few blocks to our office. Once I got inside, I worked tirelessly to finish all the reports. I will be taking a leave for a week, so I had to work double time.
I was working tirelessly when I heard a sniff at the other cubicle. Glancing up from my computer, I heard another sniff until it became choked sobs. Sighing, I let whoever was crying cry. It was a normal occurrence for people at work to cry. I just let them be.
When I was finally done with the reports, I printed them and walked to the pantry area. I was passing to my boss's cubicle, it was then I realized, it was her who was crying.
She must have noticed my presence when she looked up from her desk. Mrs. Ynares was a 40 year old woman who looked flawless and beautiful despite her age. Due to her paleness, I can clearly see the redness of her eyes and nose.
I awkwardly stood on my spot. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry." I told her "I was heading to the pantry area. But do you need someone to talk to?"
"I don't want to bother you." She honestly opened.
"It's fine. I have finished all the reports." I said sitting at the chair in front of her. "I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you." She said and looked at her family picture. It was a photo of her two kids and her husband. They were happy in the photo.
She sighed, and I saw pain I her eyes "My husband and I are getting an annulment."
I stilled yet schooled my features. "Okay, have you both agreed to it? How are you taking it?"
"We've been having problems the past few years. We tried going into counseling to fix our marriage but it just wasn't the same anymore." She truthfully said "I thought he was my forever when I married him. But we both changed and we now both different things. I'm adjusting to the idea of us living separately. It pains me to see my children suffer in this."
I nodded my head in understanding. I know what it was like to be the end of those suffering.
"I tried to keep my problems at home." she said biting her lip "But the stress of the annulment and the kids, it was all too much. I didn't mean to put my anger and frustrations on you."
"It's okay Ma'am Ynares. I understand." I told her, giving her a attention. She warmly smiled at me and her gaze landed on my engagement ring.
"I wish you a fruitful and happy marriage, Laurene." She whispered "May you be among the other marriages who lead a happy and long marriage."
A small smile lifted my lips, yet I could fear the beating of my heart in my ribcage.
"Thank you Ma'am." I told her "I know from experience how difficult annulment is for the family, but in time, the storm will pass and you'll get to see the sun shine again."
"I hope so too." She said her eyes tearing up again.
We were interrupted when I heard my phone on the other cubicle.
"I should probably head back." I told her as she nodded.
"Thank you Laurene." She honestly replied.
"Your welcome." I told her as I went to my cubicle to take my phone out and answer my sister's call.
"Ate, where are you?" she asked and I glanced at my watch. I cursed as I saw the time. "You're still at the office?"
"I'll be there in an hour." I told her as I saved my files, shut my computer and grabbed my bag. I waved goodbye at Ma'am Ynares.
Once I was inside the elevator, I couldn't help myself from thinking of her marriage. Surely my marriage will be different from hers, right? It was going to be Dark and I's choices and relationship.
We were supposed to be the masters of our soul. But fear kept on tugging on my heart. As the days pass by and the wedding approaches, my thoughts and my feelings become more disorganized.
I love Dark that much hasn't changed. But I never looked forward to our wedding day. I let him chat animatedly for hours about our wedding while I silently nodded my head. I responded at the right time and gave him my best smile.
Lyana was right. I was too selfless to think of other's feelings than thinking of my own. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't help it when people will get hurt by my actions. As much as I can, I try to take choices that will hurt them less. I can bare with my own pain.
Glancing at the street, the cars stopped to give way to the pedestrians. I pushed my legs to walk faster.
I was too caught up in my thoughts when I didn't notice the van zooming in on the street hidden by the cars who stopped. I looked up only to be a second late before I felt myself flying in the air and landing on the hard ground. I heard bones crushing, and the hard cold ground ground as excruciating pain filling my bones.
I heard the screams and sirens of the people and the cars.
No. I couldn't die yet. I have to live for Dark.
Pushing myself to stay awake, I bitted out a groan when I felt my head being splintered into a million pieces. Tears lined my eyes as I watched the people panicking in my hazed and painful state.
I saw black dots filled my vision and the image of Dark in my head before I let the darkness descend.
Published 05.02.2020