〔𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 ; 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘹〕
〔𝘰𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘥, 𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘭.〕
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WILLOW AND JIM SILENTLY worked on expense reports before Dwight came inside the office. His eyes widened; noticing only two out of the three desks were present at the clump.
"Where is my desk?"
"That is weird!" Jim said.
"This is not funny, this is totally unprofessional."
"Okay, well you're the one who lost the desk."
"I didn't lose my desk."
"Wait wait. Where was the last place you saw it?" Willow added, earning a smirk from Jim.
"Okay, who moved my desk?"
"I think you should retrace your steps."
"Okay, I am going to tell Michael, and this whole office will be punished!" Dwight angrily stomped over to Michael's closed office.
"Colder!" Dwight stopped in his tracks before turning around and walking toward the kitchen.
"Warmer, a little warmer." Willow added as he got closer to the location of his desk.
"Cold, cold, cold! Back up!" Jim exclaimed as Dwight passed the door to the men's bathroom. He went back and opened up the door, revealing his desk in the center of the bathroom.
"Hot, red hot!" Jim called out. Willow smiled at Jim and gave him a high five.
"Oh! Call him, call him!" Willow whispered, stifling a laugh. Jim gave the 'okay' sign before dialing Dwight's extension.
"Hi, Dwight, um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 lb white model? I know! Uh, yeah, the ream. Okay thank you, gotta get back to work." Jim hung up and looked over to reception, laying his eyes on an amused Pam. Willow silently giggled before returning to work.
♡
"Hello? Hi, this is Willow Halpert calling to renew your account with Dunder Mifflin. Yes I'll hold." Willow sighed as she started to hear music on the phone. She looked over and saw Dwight talking on his cellphone.
"Sensei, hello it's 'Sempai.' Dwight. Yes, I just had a ques- Yes Sensei. 'Arigatou gozaimashita. Hai.'" Stunned, Willow put the phone down and stared at Dwight.
"Was that your mom?" Jim asked.
"No, that was my Sensei."
"Oh, I thought it was your mom."
"What's a Sensei?" Willow asked.
"Uh... I take karate at the dojo, and he's my instructor." Dwight said, lowering his voice.
"Oh cool." Willow said, giving Jim a look.
"I am now 'Sempai,' which is Assistant Sensei."
"Assistant to the Sensei, that's pretty cool."
"Assistant Sensei."
"Okay." Jim and Willow looked over at each other, sharing amusement.
♡
"I don't want to stay until seven again this year." Stanley grumbled.
"I don't really have control over that, Stanley." Pam replied.
"Maybe if he took things seriously we wouldn't be having this problem." Willow snarked.
"Amen." Stanley said as he made his way back to his desk.
♡
"Michael tends to procrastinate a bit whenever he has to do work." Pam said.
"He has to sign time cards every Friday, initial expense reports at the end of the quarter and purchase orders have to be approved every month." Willow added.
"And once a year, it falls on the same Friday and that's today. I call it the 'Perfect Storm.'"
"This is my first 'Perfect Storm' and I'm already annoyed."
♡
"Hi, uh, Michael asked me to update your emergency contact information." Ryan said to Willow, Jim and Dwight. He turned to face Willow, ready to record her information.
"Okay. Mine's Jim Halpert." Willow gave Ryan Jim's phone number and address.
"Thanks. Jim?"
"Mine's Willow Halpert." As Ryan started recording Willow's information, his cellphone started to ring. He picked up the phone and answered.
"Hey, Ryan! This is Michael Jackson! Calling from Wonderland!" Willow heard a muffled faux high-pitched voice from Michael's office. She turned around and saw Michael turned around, talking on his cellphone.
"Do you mean Neverland?" Ryan asked.
"This is Tito!" Michael started hysterically laughing, while Ryan remained confused, before eventually hanging up the phone.
"Michael impressions?" Willow asked the temp. Ryan simply sighed in response before moving on to collect more emergency contact information.
♡
"Hey, Dwight. As Sempai, do you think there is ever going to be a day where humans and robots can peacefully co-exist?" Jim asked, earning a soft laugh from his sister.
"Impossible. The way they're programmed... You're mocking me." Dwight said.
"No I'm not."
"Look, I'm going to offer you a little piece of advice. I'm not afraid to make an example out of you."
"Oh, that's not advice. What advice sounds like is this. Don't ever bring your purple belt to work because someone might steal it." Jim held up Dwight's purple belt from under his desk.
"Okay, give that back to me."
"Say please."
"No, that's not a toy."
"Okay." Jim tossed the belt to Willow who caught it with ease.
"Willow, give it back."
"Say please, Dwight."
"Okay fine. Please." Willow nodded before handing Dwight the belt.
"By the way, that totally is a toy." Jim said. Willow started to take a sip of her coffee.
"This is not a toy. This is a message to the entire office so they can see that I am capable of physically dominating them." Willow spat her coffee back into the mug, stunned at Dwight's statement. She quickly cleared her throat and stood, walking to the bathroom.
Willow locked herself inside a stall, her arms crossed and her face red. About a billion different thoughts and feelings streamed throughout her body.
'Physically dominate? Yes please.'
'That's what she said. Ugh, thanks Michael.'
'Ugh why am I thinking about Dwight like that?'
Eventually, Willow regained her composure and exited the bathroom.
♡
"Just hit me, you'll see."
Michael stood over Jim, trying to convince him to hit him.
"Why do you want him to hit you?" Willow asked.
"Because, Willow, I wanna show that I'm tougher than Dwight with his purple belt. Anyways, Jim, hit me!"
"I can't, I just got a manicure." Jim replied.
"Oh, queer! Eye, Queer Eye. That's a good show, important show." Willow grimaced as Michael kept pestering Jim to hit him.
"Just have Dwight punch you."
"Oh yeah, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of fourteen year old girls who can kick his ass."
"You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?" Jim looked over at Willow, who cringed in amusement.
"What belt are they?" Dwight asked.
"Look, Dwight is a wuss. When we rented 'Armageddon,' he cried at the end of it!" Jim, Willow and Pam all looked at each other, smiling.
"No! Michael, I told you, it was because it was New Year's Eve and it began to snow at exactly midnight!" Dwight defended. Willow felt a twinge of sadness for Dwight. Michael began to imitate what was presumably Dwight crying about the movie.
"Okay, I'll punch you!" Dwight declared, standing up and assuming a fighting position.
"Okay, here we go! Alright! Come on!" Dwight let out a yell and punched Michael two times in the stomach. Michael let out a loud groan of pain as he sunk to the ground.
"Are you okay? Are you sure you're alright?" Jim asked as he led Michael to his office, opening the door.
"Yeah, thank you." Michael hobbled through the door, shut one of the blinds before crashing down besides his desk. Willow felt a pang of guilt for her boss. She looked over at Dwight, who has immediately resumed his work. Biting her lip slightly, Willow turned back to her computer and started working.
♡
"Oh my God, I can't believe that Dwight hit Michael. I never thought he had it in him." Willow exclaimed, shocked.
♡
"Okay, he has to be stopped. Please just ask Michael." Jim begged.
"I don't know..." Pam replied.
"It's kind of antagonizing." Willow added.
"I'll buy you both a bag of chips."
"French Onion?"
"Obviously. And barbecue for Willow."
"Okay, we'll do it." Pam and Willow giggled as they made their way over to Michael's office. Pam knocked on the door.
"Go away." Michael whined.
"Willow and I have a quick question."
"I didn't sign them, okay?"
"No, it's not that. We were wondering, um, since we have to stay late, could you ask Dwight to stay late too so he could walk Willow and I to our cars?" Willow and Pam silently giggled for a bit until Michael responded.
"Come in." Pam opened the door to the office and followed Willow inside.
"Pam, Willow, I hate to break this to you guys but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough."
"He's a purple belt. That's really high." Pam replied.
"Oh, I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I could murder him."
"You sure? Because out there you..." Willow mimicked falling over like Michael did.
"Oh, so that's what they're saying?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, alright." Michael left the office, Pam and Willow following suit.
"Where's Dwight?" Michael asked Jim.
"In the kitchen."
"What is happening?" Jim whispered to Willow and Pam.
"Don't know!" Willow replied. The three followed Michael into the kitchen where Dwight was teaching Kelly karate moves.
"Watch out, Kelly he might sucker punch you!" Michael taunted.
"I didn't sucker punch you Michael! I was defending my honor, like a samurai."
"Really? Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch which I absorbed. I had no idea that there would be a second punch. So, Catch-22."
"Okay fine! Tit for tit. Give it your best shot, two punches. Go!" Dwight raised his shirt in preparation for Michael to hit him, earning a gaze of attraction from Willow. She quickly averted her eyes in fear of someone seeing her.
"Look, if we were in a bar right now, there would be two punches: me punching you and you hitting the floor."
"No, I would block your first punch rendering it ineffective."
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"You know what? You're just lucky that we are at work right now."
"Michael, are you gonna fight Dwight?" Willow asked.
"That's ridiculous!" Michael exclaimed.
"If you are gonna fight, how about your dojo, Dwight?" Jim added.
"Yes!" Willow exclaimed.
"They have classes though." Michael muttered.
"No, it's free during the day, it'll be fine. Besides, I have the key as well." Dwight said.
"Okay fine, we'll go at lunch. Pam, make an announcement and figure out carpools." Michael said. Willow and Jim followed Pam out of the kitchen in shock.
"I can't believe this is happening." Willow muttered.
"Me neither!"
♡
"We're all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing." Jim explained.
"Meanwhile Michael is extending our lunch by an hour so we can go see him fight Dwight." Both siblings started to chant 'Fight' as they made their way out of the conference room.
♡
The employees of Dunder Mifflin Scranton arrived at Dwight's dojo in anticipation for his 'big fight' with Michael. Willow, Jim and Pam were one of the first to go inside besides Dwight, who unlocked the door.
Willow, Jim and Pam were silently chatting about palm readings before Dwight called for Willow.
"Willow, can you come here?"
"Okay. I'll be back, I don't know what he wants." Willow quickly explained to Jim and Pam.
"Don't worry about it." Jim quickly said as Willow jogged over to Dwight.
"Hey Dwight, what's up?"
"I can't get this damn head guard on."
"Oh. Um, do you need help?" Dwight nodded as he handed Willow a white head guard. She went on her toes and placed the head guard over him. She grabbed the Velcro part of it and secured it around his chin.
"You comfortable?" Willow asked.
"Yeah, thank you Willow."
"Anytime, Dwight. Um, good luck!" Willow cleared her throat and looked down before returning back to Jim.
"What'd he want?" Jim whispered.
"I put his head guard on. I don't know why he asked me to do it though, it looked easy to put on." The siblings shrugged before turning to face the center of the dojo.
♡
"Okay gentlemen, listen up. After a clean strike to the chest, stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. The first person to three wins. Alright?"
"Yes Sensei!" Dwight exclaimed while bowing in his sensei's direction. Willow smiled to herself, amused at his cute bow.
"Lotta rules! On the street we didn't have any rules. Maybe one, no kicks to the groin, home for dinner."
"Let's actually put him on the street and see how he survives." Willow whispered to Jim. Jim snickered as Michael and Dwight started screaming as they charged at each other. As soon as it began, Dwight successfully kicked Michael, earning himself a point.
"What the hell was that?" Michael protested.
"Dwight, one point!" the sensei announced.
"Yes! Eat it!" Willow silently clapped for Dwight as the fight resumed.
"Game on, man!" Michael exclaimed as he started dancing around and throwing punches.
"Sweep the leg!" Kevin exclaimed. Michael threw a kick, hitting Dwight lightly.
"I got it!"
"No, that was my pants."
"No points for pants." the sensei said. Michael and Dwight started yelling and flailing their arms around in an attempt to hit each other. Willow started giggling to herself at the scene in front of her, hiding her amusement behind her hands.
Michael grabbed Dwight's leg and started to attack him more. He turned Dwight's head guard around, blocking his vision as he taunted him more and more.
"One point, two points, three points!" Michael continued to hit Dwight more, ignoring the sensei's orders to break it up.
"I win, I win!" Michael tackled Dwight onto the ground and hit him some more, before beginning to try and spit into his mouth.
"No, stop it! Come on! Michael!" Dwight screamed. Willow had to hold back her urge to shove her boss off of Dwight, disgusted by his behavior.
♡
Back at the office, some of the employees rode up the elevator together in silence. When it stopped at their floor, everyone got out and walked to the building. Willow was the last to leave after Dwight, who flinched at the doors about to shut. She followed him and tapped on his shoulder.
"Hey. Um, you did good today." Willow said softly. Dwight gave a curt nod as he held the door open for the shorter woman. As she followed him inside, she missed his attempt to grab her hand.
As Willow sat at her desk, Jim handed her a bag of barbecue chips. She nodded in thanks as she turned on her computer. She took a quick glance over at Dwight, who was typing on his computer. She smiled a little before starting to work.