We arrived in Berlin to visit Deron's family, where we would be staying for three nights before we leave for America, and everyone still seemed gloomy... everyone but Deron. He seemed impeccably happy to be around his family. The Riedels were much more uptight and old fashioned than Claudia's family, which meant it was a lot less fun and more tense. I knew Deron wasn't planning on bringing up the fact that Zach and I were together. He didn't want his own mother and father to think any less of him for raising a gay man. It disgusted me.
Everything had gone smoothly, but Zach and I could hardly stand the tension. By the third night we felt like we were going to burst. We needed to get away... So we did. On the third night we went to a local pub, which probably wasn't the best idea. But shit! We were in Germany and I was of legal drinking age!
Before I knew it shots were flowing, and I was drunker than I had ever been in my life. I don't even remember the last half of what happened at the pub. Most of what I remember was what happened when we got home...
Zach pulled my arm and I stumbled to the side, confused. He said something and all I could hear from it was 'now'. I think he might have mixed German and English in it. I laughed and nodded anyways, and before I knew it we were on the porch of Deron's mother's house. He opened the door quietly and stepped inside before. That was probably mistake one because sadly, I shut the door like I always did... Which was quite loud. I pretty much slammed the door shut behind me. He turned to scowl at me, but failed to stop walking so he ended up running into a little table in in the hallway with a clock on it. He cursed in German and I began to laugh. The whole room was spinning and I had the urge to lie down and stare at the ceiling.
"What are you two doing!?" I suddenly heard a very outraged female voice. I looked over to see Claudia standing in the archway to the dining room, staring at us with pure anger in her eyes.
"Uh... nothing, Mutter! We are simply coming home!" Zach said loudly. At least I think. I nodded and jumped, or rather stumbled, over to where my boyfriend was in case she decided to take swings.
"Are you drunk!?" She asked, sounding disgusted. It should have worried me, but for some reason it didn't. I actually found it hilarious at that moment. Her son laughed loudly for a while, leaning with his hands on his knees. He shook his head and went into a fit of hysterical laughter, which in return made me start to laugh.
"Yes! You caught me!" Zach said once he'd finished laughing. She shook her head slowly.
"Is he?" She asked and pointed to me. He glanced over at me and sighed.
"Ach..." He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "No..." I could tell he was trying not to smile. Claudia shook her head slowly, looking very disappointed.
"I expected it from you, Zach, but not Dylan!" She snapped. I didn't say anything. "Into the kitchen, now!" She ordered. Zach sighed and released me before following.
"Fuck, I feel like a child...," He grumbled. I bet he did. I couldn't imagine being scolded by anyone at his age. He sat down at the kitchen table and I chose to sit next to him. I was barely able to pull the chair out, so he helped me a bit. I pulled it closer to him and spread my legs so that our knees were touching. He grinned and rubbed my thigh quickly before getting out his cigarettes. He reached forward and pulled an ashtray towards him. I could barely pay attention, so I was unsure if anyone had spoken.
Claudia sat down opposite from us, folding her hands on the table in front of her. "What were you thinking?" She asked angrily.
"Hmm... I need a drink!" Zach said like a smart ass before lighting his cigarette. She shook her head and snorted. I stifled my laughter after he spoke and covered my mouth.
"Okay, I am just going to guess this is not the first time you have been drunk." She was directing her words towards me. "I am completely disap-"
"Mutter! Please! The family is driving me insane!" He explained and took a drag.
"That is no excuse. No excuse," She said, her voice still strong and angry. "I have been waiting up for you two! I do not appreciate this! Not one bit!"
"Ach?" Zach said, staring at her. "I was not expecting you to."
"Zach. How can you be so disrespectful to your family?" She asked, sounding drained.
"Me?" He snorted angrily. "Vater is the disrespectful one! But oh no- not to his family! He is only disrespectful to your family!" He spat bitterly before taking another drag.
"Enough!" She growled. I looked over to see him ash his cigarette and let it rest in the ashtray. "That is no way to speak of your Vater!"
"I can speak however I fucking like about him," He concluded snappily. Claud shook her head slowly. "Stop defending him, Mutter! Please!" He growled. "The only reason you are mad about it is because you know it is true!" She was still shaking her head.
"You are acting just like him," She growled. Zach squinted, his eye brows furrowed, at her.
"What did you say...?" He asked darkly.
"You heard me." She held his gaze. I was startled by Zach suddenly letting out a yell, followed by his fist pounding against the table. I looked over to see the plastic ashtray was broken, and when he lifted his fist there was a smashed cigarette beneath it. There was silence for a moment.
"Now look what you made me do! You made me pop my fuckin' cherry!" He said loudly. About two seconds after that he burst out in laughter. I couldn't help but laugh as well. He covered his face with one hand and gripped onto his hair, still laughing. Hell, we laughed for a while about it.
"Oh, my god, Zach...," Claudia spoke sadly. "You need to help yourself out for once.. You make me sick."
"Yes, well, if I am acting like Deron then you should be sickened by me!" He said, once again, like a smart ass.
"Stop speaking of him like that!" She demanded.
"NO!" He yelled. "Stop telling me what to do! I am twenty two fucking years old!" He growled. "And stop defending him!" I was so confused. When Zach snapped, he snapped... and there was pretty much no stopping it.
"Yes, you are definitely turning into him more than I thought..."
"NEIN!" He yelled, standing. "I am not becoming like the one fucking person in this world who has caused me more pain than anything else possibly could!" He yelled, gripping onto the table for support. I could hardly keep track of what was going on.
"God dammit, Zach!" Claudia yelled, stomping her foot on the ground. I was beginning to really get uncomfortable, so I stood. It was a bad idea because I ended up getting dizzy and sitting right again almost immediately. "All I wanted to do was have a nice visit! But, no! I have not had one this horrible since, well... since you can six damned years ago!"
"Then maybe I should leave again!" He moved his arms dramatically as he spoke. "Would that make shit easier for you!?" He leaned in closer to her as he yelled. She said nothing and didn't flinch. "Ach. Nobody wants me, Mutter, why not have you join the damn group?"
"That is not true! That is not true, and you know it!" She yelled.
"Ha! I... Fuck!" He hissed and swayed backwards slightly before gaining his composure and leaning onto the table again. "I want to go home! My fucking home, eight years ago!" He poked his chest when he said 'my'. She shook her head and sighed.
"You are drunk, Zachary. You do not know what you are saying..."
"No, Mutter, I do!" He snapped. "I have been drinking since I was fucking thirteen, I know how to control myself!"
"Well, apparently you do not... if you had known how to control yourself you would have finished school!" She yelled loudly.
"Oh, shut the fuck up! SHUT UP!" He snarled. "I did not finish school! I did not go to college! I did not become successful! So what!? At least I do not beat my children!" He yelled, and I could tell that he was seriously mad. "I am so sorry, Mutter," He began, not sounding sincere. "That I - could not grow up to be the wonderful child you had wanted..."
"No, Zach..." She sighed, seeming befuddled.
"You can thank Deron for that one," He snapped bitterly. I felt like I shouldn't have been there for the argument.
"No! Stop blaming your Vater, he did nothing!" Claud yelled. Zach laughed obnoxiously.
"He did EVERYTHING!" He screamed.
"Like what!?"
"He took me away from this country, he took me away from the girl I loved, he called me names when I did nothing wrong! He fucking slammed me against a god damn wall because I would not obey him! He fucking beat the living shit out of me!" He yelled.
"You punched him!" Claudia yelled desperately. I looked over to see she was crying. I swallowed, the taste of the alcohol I'd drunken earlier still in my throat.
"HE BROKE MY JAW!" Zach yelled dramatically. Claudia sobbed into her hands and shook her head, as if she didn't want to believe what was being said. "Mutter! Vaters are not supposed to do that to their children! What don't you understand!?" That was the first I'd heard him use a contraction in a long time. It sounded so strange.
"I KNOW!" She suddenly screamed. "Maybe if you would not be going off and getting drunk all the god damn time, it would have never happened!" She yelled. She stood abruptly. "Fuck! I am done! I can not speak to you like this!" She left the room quickly, and I was left feeling bad.
"Fine, go!" Zach growled. "Deny it like you always do!" He yelled after her. I'm not sure how it happened, but I was suddenly sitting on the floor.
"Zach," I said, clutching onto the chair's leg. "Will you help me up?" I wasn't sure if he'd even heard me, but it didn't matter. Eventually I felt someone pulling me up by my wrist. I stood on unsteady legs, and almost fell once more.
"Watch out." Zach put his arm around me and sighed before helping me through the kitchen and into the hall. Then we came to the stairs. "Fuck!" He hissed. So then we walked up the stairs... hell, it took forever. But eventually we were in the room the two of us were staying in. "Are you alright?" I vaguely remember him asking me as he let me go. I nodded, the room spinning worse when I did, and stumbled over to the bed. I sat down on it and looked at my boyfriend with a grin.
"Come here," I ordered, putting my arms out for a second before they felt too heavy to hold up. He laughed softly and walked over to me, and then sat beside me. I leaned into him and cleared my throat. "I love you, Zach... Riedel." He laughed quietly again.
"I think you should go to bed," He suggested and kissed the top of my head. I shrugged and laid down so my head was in his lap. I hadn't noticed until I pulled my legs up that my shoes were still on.
"Fuck...," I muttered before slipping them off. "Can we fuck?" I asked.
"We already did tonight." What?
"What? When?" I asked, the two words slurring together slightly.
"In... the pub," He reminded me unsurely.
"Oh. We don't have to if you don't wanna then," I said and laughed slightly. Then I sat up and kissed his cheek quickly, but I kinda fell into his face very ungracefully, before laying down on the bed properly. My world was spinning more than ever when I was laying down. I hated it. "Lay with me!" I ordered groggily, hitting my hand against the bed. Everything I did felt fake. I felt like I was in a dream for how fucked up I was. He was soon laying down next to me with his arms wrapped around me.
"I love you too, Leiber..." He sighed and kissed the top of my head.
"What? I didn't say I love you, silly!" I slurred, confused.
"Yes... but you did earlier." Oh. I guess I did. We were laying there in silence for a little when he suddenly spoke. "It is thundering."
"Who cares," I muttered and rolled over so I wasn't facing him. I felt his hand run over my arm lightly before he scooted closer. By the time I passed out I was beginning to feel nauseous. But I really didn't even care at that moment.
<<>>
I felt horrible even before my eyes had opened or I had moved. "Dylan," Zach voice reached my ears. It was annoyingly loud. "Wake up, we have to go... like... now." What!? God damn him! I groaned and rolled over onto my other side, my stomach shifting sickeningly as I did. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, running his finger tips along my jaw. I shrugged and closed my eyes again, twisting my head away from his touch with a groan. I felt fucking terrible. He sighed before speaking. "Wake up." His voice was much less kind with that one.
After about ten more seconds I forced myself to sit up. Such an awful rush went to my head it was unbelievable. I felt dizzier than I'd ever been in my life. I felt so shitty I kind of wanted to cry. I tenderly rubbed my forehead and groaned. "Your shit is already packed, right?" Zach asked.
"Yeah," I replied, my voice hoarse from the incredibly high proof German alcohol we drank the night before. I wasn't sure if nodding in response or actually speaking would be worse, but my guess was on the nodding! I had managed to completely forget the fact that we had to get on a plane to go home. I wished that I could teleport, lay in my bed, and go the fuck to sleep. "What time is it?" I asked, removing my hands from my face.
"It is- nine thirty. We must go. Our flight is for eleven thirty." SHIT! I had no idea how I was going to survive the trip home without puking. I groaned again and draped my arm over my stomach. "Come on," He said and put his hand on my shoulder. I stood up reluctantly, horribly slouched, and my stomach twisted. "Are you going to be sick?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Not right now," I replied before leaning heavily into him. My head was spinning and I knew I was still drunk. I'd only fallen asleep about four hours earlier! He rubbed my back briefly before we both left the room with our belongings to say good bye.
I stood close to Zach as everyone said their farewells, my head lightly resting at his shoulder. Nausea kept hitting me like a bitch every two minutes, and I knew I was going to throw up sometime soon. Hopefully sooner than later! Once that was over, we all walked outside and put our luggage into the car. I could barely lift any of my bags, and Claudia noticed. "You are extremely pale, Dylan," She said with a slight tone. I nodded and she gave me a sad smile. "Lesson learned?"
"More than learned," I grumbled and walked away. We all got into the car, Zach in the middle like before. Deron's dad and brother were going to be following us to the airport so that we could take one of their cars and then they could drive it back when we were done. Zach sat in between Abby and I so that we each had a window. I would probably end up needing it... I leaned against my boyfriend and closed my eyes, not even caring if Deron or Claud got pissed. The car ride was no easing my stomach at all.
We were driving for about ten minutes when a sudden wave of extreme nausea hit me. I leaned forward in my seat and breathed heavily, my body visibly shaking, a few times before sitting back. Fuck. My stomach suddenly heaved and I was left with a small mouthful of vomit.
"Ew..." I heard Zach mutter. Shit! I swallowed it back down and shook my head in disgust, my throat burning from the acidity of my vomit.
"Mutter," Abby suddenly said.
"Yes, dear?" She replied.
"May I sit up there with you?" She asked longingly.
"Why?" Claudia asked.
"Because Dylan looks like he is going to throw up, and I do not like it," She answered. Oh, how kind of her. Claudia sighed and Deron began muttering something angrily.
"Fine, come here," She said. Abby crawled over Zach, who helped her up front a bit, and sat in her mother's lap. He then scooted to her spot.
"Come here," He muttered and gently pushed me down so that my head was in his lap. I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes, clutching loosely onto his pants. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, especially when there was a turn, but I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep and not puke all over my boyfriend!
Zach ran his finger tips over my cheek and to the back of my neck in a soothing way, making me feel a little bit better. I couldn't believe how sick I was. This was by far the worst I had ever felt, hangover or not! What the fuck had I been drinking? ...Scotch and Jameson... to Hell if I ever drank that again! I was slightly surprised Zach did have a hangover of any sort. He'd been drinking more than me! But then when I thought about it more I realized he rarely ever got hangover. Lucky bastard.
<<>>
To my dismay, when we got on the plane I had to sit on an outside seat. Now people could stare at me like a damn retard! The take off had almost sent my insides askew all over the place, but I was glad it hadn't. I sighed and leaned forward in my seat slightly. I hated plane rides! They made me anxious to begin with, and my hangover from hell was doing nothing to help. I sat back again and rubbed my eyes.
"Are you alright?" Zach, who was sitting beside me, asked. I looked at him incredulously and didn't answer. "Okay," He said and shook his head quickly. "Just though I would ask!"
We were sitting there for a little while when a fucking stewardess came up. "Hello. Would you care for anything to drink?" She asked us. Zach smiled and nodded.
"Uh, yes... Can I have a scotch, please?" He asked. My stomach dropped. Was he kidding? Was this some cruel, sick joke on me? She nodded and walked off to help other people.
"Are you fucking serious?" I growled. He looked at me and nodded.
"Yes, why not?" Oh dear god...
"Why not?" I repeated. "Because I am so hungover I'm trying to fucking throw up at the thought of alcohol, and you go and order the very drink we were drinking last night!" I felt like yelling, but I couldn't. He shrugged a shoulder and pretty much ignored me. What a dick! I couldn't believe him!
Eventually the bitch came back with his drink. Much too soon. She passed the scotch over me to get it to Zach, and the scent hit me like a punch in the stomach. As soon as she walked away, I couldn't stop myself from gagging. "Hey! Control yourself!" Zach demanded with fake anger before taking a sip of the sick alcohol.
"How can you fucking do that!? You just got fucking plastered last night!" I hissed, trying my best not to look at the little glass he was holding.
"Are you talking about yourself?" He asked arrogantly with a quick laugh. "You fucking drank more than I did." What?
"No I didn't!" I protested and the scent hit me again. I gaged once more, which was followed by another. But that time vomit actually came up... not only did it come up, but it flowed quickly out of my mouth all down the front of my body. "Ew!" I exclaimed and more poured onto me, my lap included this time.
"Oh, shit... shit," Zach said very unemotionally. He took another swig of his drink. "This is why I got this!" He told me and began continuously pressing the 'Help' button. "Fuck, it does not work," He said, sounding slightly amused.
"It's seeping the fuck through!" I yelled as I felt warm, moist puke coming through my clothes. "Ew!" The worst part was that it smelled and tasted like whiskey and scotch. I was trying so hard to keep my stomach under control. I barely noticed all the people around us standing uncomfortably, trying to find someone to help me.
After what felt like ten minutes, a stewardess finally came to our help. She was holding napkins. I snorted with laughter. As soon as she saw my state she let out a little yelp. "Here!" She shoved the napkins at me and rushed away. I began wiping my clothes up the best I could with napkins. She soon returned with two towels and a wet wash cloth thing. "Here, dear. Would you like anything to drink?" Zach took the towels and answered for me.
"Can you get him a water, please?" He asked and handed me the wet towel. Water sounded amazing at that moment... and a piece of gum. I was left to clean myself up. I looked up to see Zach looking past me and then wave someone off with a humored look. I guessed it was Claudia, who was sitting diagonal from us with the rest of the family. I glanced over to see my assumption was correct. She had a sympathetic and half pissed off expression. The stewardess came back with water and handed it to Zach. "Now, child, take a sip of the water." He uncapped it and rudely shoved it in my face.
"Get it away! I'm still cleaning myself off!" I growled, wanting nothing more than to change my clothing. What a disaster... He laughed at my reaction and moved the water.
"I can not believe this happened!" He said, sounding as happy as ever. "What a great memory..." I gaped over at my boyfriend. It amazed me sometimes that he could be such an insensitive dick.
Eventually I'd managed to get most of the puke off, but that didn't keep the smell away. That wasn't all I had to deal with, either... Zach was heckling me about how bad of a stench I was putting off. Not only was I trying not to want to barf every minute, but I had to listen to him carry on about how disgusting I was!
The plane ride was not easy at all. I went to the bathroom several more times to vomit the remains of what was in my stomach up. I even dry heaved a couple times after that. I couldn't sleep on the very long flight at all, and my head was pounding. Zach wouldn't shut the hell up, and the stewardess's kept coming and asking me for anything. Not only that, but everyone around me cast me many, many disgusted and horrified looks throughout the ride. It was horrible. I can't express how glad I was once we landed and returned home.
Home sweet fucking home!
Author's note: Last Christmas chapter! BOOO!