The feeling of knowing I had examinations the next day, had me apprehensive. It wasn't as if I didn't trust myself to pass. I did, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of the nervousness I was feeling. What if I don't reach up to my parents' expectations. Abii believed I'd pass with flying colours - he told me that himself. And because I wanted to make him and Ummi proud, I was supposed to study hard, but the problem I had was; anytime I picked up my book to study, the thought of Jawaad invaded my mind and made me lose concentration. These days, that seemed to be the only thing I did properly. I had begin to hate the feeling. I really did, especially since I embarrassed myself in his presence. Not once, but three times. For a fact, I knew he'd never take an interest in me. The reality had me demoralized.
"Manal!" Imran yelled, directly into my ear, startling me in the process.
"What?" I snapped, aggravated.
"Abi has called for you." He said and took a seat on the edge of my bed, uninvited.
"What does he want?" I asked. For some reason, I felt uneasy.
He shrugged. "How should I know?" His gaze then lingered on the textbooks scattered all over my bed. "So you're writing JAMB tomorrow?"
"Yes." I heaved a sigh. 'Why are you asking if you already know."
"It's surprising." He commented.
I raised a brow. "What is?"
"You have exams tomorrow and yet I have never seen you study. You're always either on your phone or watching movies."
"And?" I sneered, irritated.
"I think Ummi should take away your phone and give it back after your exams." He paused for a while, a smirk playing on his lips. "I will be surprised if you actually reach the cut off mark."
"Get out of my room, Imran!"
"I don't plan on staying anyways." He turned to leave, but abruptly stopped and turned around. "Abi is waiting for you."
After he had left, I arranged my books on my reading table and left for Abi and ummi's room.
When I pushed open the door, I met him lying on his bed, his eyes closed. It seemed he was sleeping.
"I will just return later." I mumbled and turned to leave, but was stopped by abii's groggy voice.
"Princess." He called.
I instantly spun around and walked towards him. "Sorry, abii. I didn't mean to wake you up. I can come back some other time."
"It's fine." He replied and sat up. "Actually, I wasn't asleep. I'm just stressed out. These past few days have been hectic for me."
"I think you should take a leave from work." I suggested.
"Maybe next month." He massaged his forehead with one hand and patted the space beside him with the other one. "Come sit. There is something I need to talk to you about."
At first, my heart raced, but I managed to calm it, by assuring myself it had to be something inconsequential. In the past few days, I hadn't made any more mistakes, or have I?
"What are you thinking? Come on."
I snapped out of my trance and walked towards the bed, then sat down beside him.
"You're writing your examinations tomorrow, right?" He inquired.
"Yes, abii." I responded.
"Do you need help studying?"
"No, abii, I'm fine. I'm almost done studying." I partly lied. I might not be done yet, but I promised myself to give up my sleep to study tonight.
"Good. I know you're going to pass with flying colours. I trust you will." He smiled.
His statements only made my heart beat even faster. He trusted me a lot. What if I ended up disappointing him?
I hummed in response.
"University of Abuja is your first choice, right?"
"Uhm..." I trailed off, not knowing how to reply to his question, without infuriating him.
Neither he, nor Ummi knew I had chosen an entirely different university.
"Yes?" He raised a brow.
"Actually, abii, I..." I trailed off for some seconds. "Chose a different university." I blurted, with closed eyes.
"Okay? Which university do you want to go to? Private? I don't really like it, but since you've decided, there's nothing I can do about it."
Indubitably, I knew abii would not take it lightly, but I couldn't possibly hide the truth from him forever. "Actually...the university is in a different city."
"A different city?" He cocked a brow. "What are you talking about?"
Honestly, I also didn't know what I was doing - why I made such an important decision without my parents' approval, was beyond me. Farida had to literally beg me to choose the same university as her, because she didn't want us to be separated. I agreed because I wanted the same thing, but the least I could do, was inform my parents and find out if they would support me or not.
What new mess have I gotten myself into!
"I'm talking to you, Manal!" He stated in a soft, yet stern voice.
The fact that he called me by my name, proved he wasn't...too pleased by what I had just told him.
"Ahmadu Bello university, Zaria." I replied, my gaze lowered.
"What!" Abii sprung up.
Intuitively, I did the same.
"Ahmadu Bello university?" He bellowed. "Zaria?"
Slowly, I nodded, avoiding his gaze.
"When was that decision made? Without my permission? Does your mother know about this? Did you two make this decision without deeming it fit to let me know?"
"No, abii." I quickly denied, shaking my head. "Ummi isn't aware of this?"
"Are you telling me you made the decision all by yourself?" He questioned, his face, completely scrunched up.
Remorsefully, I lowered my head and nodded.
Abii massaged his forehead even tighter and without looking up, I could feel his gaze boring holes into my head.
"Look, princess." He started, his voice much calmer now.
The fact that he didn't call me by my name, had me feeling relieved. I slowly lifted my gaze and when it met with his disappointed ones, the feeling from earlier was short lived. I instantly started to have regrets. I genuinely didn't know what pushed me to make that certain decision, when I promised myself never to disappoint my parents anymore. I felt incredibly bad.
"You do know that Zaria is far from here, right?"
"But, abii, it's not that far." I dared to argue.
"It may not be far to you, but to me, it's very far. You're still very young, princess. I don't want you to go faraway. Especially to a place we have no relatives. What if you get sick? No one will be there to look after you." He tried to reason with me.
"I'll be eighteen soon. I will be able to take care of myself. Most of the students there are also not residents of the state." I reasoned.
"It's an entirely different case!" He remarked. "You're going to make a change of institution."
"Please don't do this, abii." I beseeched, tears prickling my eyes already. "That's the university I want to attend. My friends are also there. Please don't make me change institutions."
"You will have to do it," he insisted. "I'm sorry."
"But, abii, that isn't even possible anymore. I'm taking the examinations tomorrow. It's too late already. Please just allow me go there, abii. Please." Tears streamed down my face.
Abii took a minute to think, before finally speaking up. "Alright."
"Alright?" I asked, hopefully. I could feel my eyes scintillating a splendor. "You're agreeing?"
"Anything for my princess." He smiled and lifted a hand to wipe the tears, that had already stained my cheeks. "I really don't want to. I'm not supposed to agree, but because I can't say no to you and I want you to be happy, I agreed."
"Thank you so much, abii." I hugged him. "Thank you. I love you." I disentangled my arms from around him and my brows furrowed on their own accords.
"What's wrong?" Abii seemed to have noticed the change in my demeanor, for he questioned.
"Will Ummi agree to this?" I voiced. If I could convince abii to allow me study in the university of my choice, u doubt Ummi would allow me have my way. Abii was much easier to convince.
"Honestly, I strongly doubt that." He admitted. "I don't think she's going to be in support of this, but don't worry, I will speak to her. You can go back to your room and continue reading your books."
"Okay. Thanks, abii." I turned around and walked out of the room.
When I got back to my room, instead of studying, as I had initially planned, I picked up my phone and collapsed into my comfortable bed.
Unlocking my phone, I realized I had missed a call each, from Farida and Khadijah. I chose to ignore Khadijah's and call Farida instead. On the second ring, she picked up.
"Hey! Where have you been? Didn't you see the text messages I sent you?" She asked in a high pitched voice.
"Of course, I didn't." I rolled my eyes. "I was talking to Abii, regarding the institution I chose."
"What did he say? Did he get angry?"
I sighed and shook my head. "At first, he did, but I managed to convince him to allow me study there. Apparently, he still thinks of me as a child."
"Parents always do that." She grunted. "My dad, especially. He is so strict. Jawaad and I suffered while growing up. Actually, I still do."
At the mention of him, I felt my heart drop. I was compelled to recall how badly I embarrassed myself in his presence.
"So, he has agreed to allow you study there?"
"Yes." I replied, curtly.
"That's great!" She enthused.
I hummed. "About Farouq, have you two sorted out your problem?"
"He is still being stubborn."
"Have you tried talking to him?"
"He still won't listen to me."
"Don't worry, he's going to come around."
"I hope so." She snorted. "How's preparation for JAMB?"
"Honestly, I haven't studied much. I haven't had the time to."
"What have you been up to?"
"House chores." I frowned. "And you? I know you've finished studying."
"Not really." She chuckled. "Anyways, I know we're going to ace the examinations."
"In shaa Allah. Got to go. I'll call you again, later." I didn't wait for her reply, before ending the call.
Reluctantly, I picked up my chemistry textbook to study, but after thirty minutes or so, I ended up falling asleep.
•
"Manal! Manal!" From what seemed like a long distance, I heard my name being called. My eyes fluttered open and I groaned. It was so early in the morning. Why would anyone want to disturb me. I turned to the other side of the bed and ducked my head under the duvet.
"Manal!"
The voice was clearer now. Much clearer than earlier. I could now decipher who it belonged to - it was ummi's.
I quickly peeled the duvet off my body and dashed out of bed.
Just in time, ummi walked into the room and towards me.
"Are you just waking up?" She questioned.
"Good morning, ummi." I greeted.
"Are you just waking up?" She repeated her question, deliberately ignoring my greeting. "Have you even offered fajr prayer?"
"Yes." I responded, groggily. "I went back to sleep, right after."
"Have you forgotten you have exams this morning?"
My eyes widened and my gaze instantly darted to the clock, hanging on my wall. I let out an involuntary gasp. "6:35am! Oh no! What should I do, ummi? The exams will start by 7o'clock!"
"Are you asking me? Come on, go and take a bath, then get ready as soon as possible. I'll drop you off at the centre."
"Okay. Thanks, ummi." I muttered and dashed to the bathroom. I was really thankful to her. Had it not been for her, I'd definitely miss my examinations and I would not be able to retake it, till the next year.
•
After two hours, I emerged from the examination hall and sat on a bench, outside, waiting for Farida. Luckily, the same centre was allocated to us for the Joint Admission Matriculation Board Examinations.
I was nervous - way more nervous than I thought I'd be. The examinations weren't as easy as I thought they'd be. Out of the fifty questions in physics, I was barely able to answer twenty. I only took a guess for the other thirty questions. "Ya Allah, please don't let me fail." I muttered a silent prayer underneath my breath.
Approximately ten minutes later, Farida emerged from the building and sauntered towards me.
"Mannie!" She squealed and began running towards me.
Immediately she got to where I was seated, she pulled me up and wrapped her arms around me.
I disentangled her arms from around me and stepped back. "What's up? What's making you this happy?" I sneered.
"The exams!" She giggled. "Almost everything I read came out. Physics and chemistry were the easiest!"
Because I couldn't relate to what she was saying, I hummed. "Really?" I managed to let the word out.
"Of course!" She rolled her eyes. "How was it for you? You aced it, didn't you?"
"How am I supposed to know?" I asked, irritatedly. "The result isn't even out yet."
"It doesn't matter." She rolled her eyes. "You can tell by your performance earlier."
"Alhamdulillah." I simply responded. "Can we go home already? I'm famished. I didn't get to have breakfast this morning, because I woke up late. Thankfully, ummi was able to bring me here, in time."
"Yeah. I can't even start to imagine what would have happened if you didn't make it." She shook her head, disdainfully. "How are you going to get home? Is someone coming to get you?"
"No." I responded. Ummi was supposed to come get me, but I convinced her I'd be able to get home myself. I was old enough to. "I will just take a cab."
"There's absolutely no need for that." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Jawaad will be here to pick me up. Why don't you take a ride with us? It'd be fun talking with you and besides, you get to see him." She winked.
With every fibre of my being, I was tempted to accept her offer, but recalling how the previous encounters had been, I couldn't help, but think I'd mess up again. To be on the safe side, I rather decline the offer. And decline the offer, I did. "Thanks, but Ririe, I don't think I'd be able to ride with you in your brother's car."
"Why?" She asked, baffled.
"I just don't want to." I replied, honestly. "I'll go ahead now."
"Alright then." She shrugged. "Don't forget to text me your results when you get it."
"Okay. Bye. See you soon." I waved and began to walk to the main road, to hail a cab.
•
When I got home, I thought the first thing I would want to do was; go into the kitchen, fetch a bowl of food and dig in, but surprisingly, I didn't feel the need to anymore. I felt my appetite dissipate in the air. I heaved a sigh, then sauntered to my room instead and went into the bathroom to have a refreshing shower.
Afterwards, I got into my bed and was soon overshadowed by sleep. The sound of my phone beeping; indicating an incoming message, awakened me.
I fumbled around for my phone and when I finally got a hold of it, I swiped up, unlocking it. All traces of sleep instantly disappeared from my eyes, when I discovered whom the message was from and what it held in - my JAMB results had already been sent in.
Abruptly, I sprung to a sitting position and muttered a silent dua underneath my breath, before clicking on the message.
My eyes widened and my hand flew over my agape mouth.
•
Assalamu'alaykum warahmatullah/hello!
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