Jungkook didn't come back that night.
Taehyung was thankful because he didn't know what would happen if he had to face the boy after all that. That night he didn't get a blink of sleep. His eyes were tired and droopy from all the crying and his whole body felt numb but his mind was wide awake. He kept replaying the events over and over again in his head, those faces morphed with disgust, the look of anger on Jungkook's face, the silence of the room after everyone left. The room felt colder that night. It felt lonelier.
~
He is awake when he gets the phone call.
He tiredly sits up and reaches out for his phone but then furrows his eyebrows when he sees his father's name on the screen. He hesitates slightly before deciding to pick up.
"Father?"
There's silence across the line for a few seconds and it causes Taehyung's legs to weaken. He can't help but feel this horrible gut feeling that something is wrong. Did his father find out about him and Jungkook...oh no.
"Taehyung," the man speaks up, voice laced with venom.
"Y-Yes?" He stutters out weakly, nervously anticipating the man's words.
He hears his father laugh humourlessly at the end of the line before saying, "you never learn, do you?"
Taehyung's heart drops. He definitely found out. Taehyung internally curses at himself. He should have been more careful. He's stupid. So so stupid.
"N-no father, it's not what it looks like- It must be some sort of misunders-"
Before he can continue, his father cuts him off.
"Don't try to play dumb with me, Taehyung. That boy called me and told me everything."
Taehyung freezes. Jungkook did what?! "N-no father, h-he's lying," Taehyung tries but his father isn't buying it.
"Why would he lie?" His father asks, voice laced with anger. "Huh? Wasn't he your loverboy before?"
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, slightly confused by his father's words. "W-who are you talking about?" He asks hesitantly.
The man scoffs, "don't act stupid, boy. You know damn well I'm talking about that ex of yours. The one that you went whoring around with! He called and told me everything."
Taehyung grips onto his phone tighter. Ex? Jinyoung? Jinyoung called his father?
"I always knew you were a disgusting slut but honestly didn't think you could be that shameless. The boy had called ME, telling me how you were begging to get back with him!"
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. What? Before he could even attempt to speak, his father's raging voice cuts him off.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?" He screams causing Taehyung to wince from the volume. "He had called and asked me to tell you to stop. I wanted to bury myself from embarrassment. I knew you were pathetic, Taehyung, but to go around begging for another man's cock like some street whore? Your mother and I are absolutely disgusted. And to think you do this after you promised to never behave like those faggots."
Taehyung is left speechless. He can't believe the words he's hearing. Jinyoung called his father and LIED to him to make him look bad. Jinyoung knew his parents were homophobic! That prick. Taehyung can't believe that he would swoop so low.
"Father, listen. He's lying to you-"
"No." His father cuts him off. "I will not listen to you, don't expect me to. Do you know how outrageous this is? WHAT IF THAT BOY LEAKS THIS TO THE PUBLIC?! Imagine the headlines!?"
"Father I-"
The man cuts him off again, leaving the boy utterly frustrated. "NO! Don't you 'father' me," he hears the man sigh. "Your mother and I have decided that after all the shit you've done, that we don't want an incompetent slut as our son. We don't want you tarnishing our family name any longer. You never learn. You're always going to be a disgusting faggot that can't do anything right. We don't want a child like that. We're done with you. Stay the fuck out of our lives!"
Taehyung feels breathless as the lump in his throat tightens. "F-Father, pl-"
"I warned you about this. I told you not to mess with me. But I guess you just never listen-"
"-I didn't-"
"Now you're going to face the consequences of your actions."
And with that, the man hangs up. Taehyung desperately tries to call him back but when he does the number goes into a dial-tone. Of course he blocked him. Taehyung runs his hands through his hair in frustration. He feels angry. He feels frustrated. He feels scared. Terrified.
He doesn't know what that man will do but he knows it's going to be bad. He flops down on his bed and waits. All he can do is wait because he knows that soon, whatever that is bound to happen will occur. He will face his father's wrath in some form or another and all he can do is wait here helplessly.
But he doesn't have to wait that long because soon, his father's wrath comes knocking on the door. How convenient.
Taehyung rubs his tired eyes and walks over to the door, opening it with a gloomy expression. There stand two men in lavish suits, faces lulled with boredom as they look at him with their cold eyes.
"Mr Kim Taehyung?" One of the men asks while looking down at the shorter boy. Taehyung nods confusedly. The man hums and then pushes past the boy into the room.
Taehyung scrunches his eyebrows. "What are you doing?" He asks as he watches the two men inspect the dorm.
"Which side of this is yours?" The other man asks, not answering his question. Taehyung frowns and points to his side of the room. The men nod before going over and picking up some of his stuff.
"What the hell?!" Taehyung exclaims as the men carry out his lamp and bedside table. "What are you doing!?"
One of the men turn around and sigh. "Look, kid, we're just following your father's orders. He instructed us to remove all the items you own that have been purchased under his name."
Taehyung widens his eyes. "What?!" His father had purchased practically everything he owned because he never allowed Taehyung to get a part-time job, saying that it would distract him from his studies. Taehyung watches in horror as the men continue to carry everything out from his room. His clothes, books, laptop, furniture. Everything.
One of the men walks up towards him and gestures for Taehyung to hand over his phone.
N-no!" the boy exclaims. "My grandma bought me this before s-she passed. You can't take it."
Taehyung's grandma was the only person in his life that truly showed him love. She was a kind-hearted woman who raised Taehyung to be just like her. She had got him his phone as a birthday gift just weeks before her passing. Taehyung had always kept the phone close to him, treasuring it, despite having money to buy a new one that would be much better quality.
The man sighs before nodding. He looks around at the now empty half of the room and looks back at Taehyung. "Your dad has cancelled the payments for this dorm and blocked off all your fundings so you're going to have to move out by tonight. The school payments have already been made and can't be cancelled so you can attend until you graduate."
Taehyung stands there, feeling like he's been punched in the gut. He blinks at the man, looking at him like he doesn't understand a word he said. "H-Huh?"
The man rolls his eyes, "If I were you, I'd go out and look for a new place today." And before Taehyung can ask him any more questions, he leaves.
Taehyung stands there in the now half-empty room, feeling rather empty himself.
He walks around and looks at the blank walls and the empty closet. The decorations that were once livening up the dull room are now replaced by blank space. He feels like crying again. He's cried all night but now he feels like crying for a different reason. What is he supposed to do? He has to move out by tonight!
He sits down on the now blanket-less bed and heaves out a ragged sigh. He stares at the timbre floor with teary eyes and listens to the hollow thud of his heart. He grits his teeth and clenches his fist, fighting off the urge to scream out in frustration. His so-called parents basically left him to die.
He always knew he was worthless to them but apparently he wasn't even seen as a human. All this because of his sexuality? He's getting kicked to the streets because he prefers men over women? Taehyung scoffs. They'd rather have him dead than have him living as a fag.
Taehyung takes a deep breath and stands up. He realises that there's no point sitting here and moping around about people who don't give a shit about him. He needs to at least pick himself up because clearly, no one else would.
Taehyung leaves the dorm with a heavy heart and an empty stomach. For the first time in forever, Taehyung decides to skip breakfast; His favourite meal of the day.
~
Taehyung is a few kilometres from school, closer to the town. He looks down at his phone and then back up at the old crumbling building. He walks inside and looks over at the receptionist who looks to be half asleep.
"Um, excuse me?" He calls out hesitantly, watching the man startle awake and then glower down at him.
"What?" the man rudely spits out.
"I-I rented an apartment from Mr L-Lee?" Taehyung says while looking down at his phone. "He told me to get the key from the front office."
The man looks at him boredly. "Uh, sure. What's your name?" He asks while not so discreetly eyeing the boy up and down in a judgemental manner.
"Kim Taehyung," the boy says while fiddling nervously. This is the first time he is out in the open by himself like this. He isn't used to places like this. He had grown up in a life full of luxury with everything handed to him on a golden platter, and so being here he feels like a hen that was thrown into the dog's cage.
"Hmm, I got the key here. Do you have your payment?"
Taehyung nods and hands over the cash, grimacing slightly as he watches it disappear behind the counter. This was what he called his 'emergency stash'. It wasn't much, barely over $200. It was just savings from birthday money that he got from his relatives over the years. He never thought it would come to use but what do you know. He pays the man $150 and then shudders at the thought that runs through his mind. This payment would secure him a place to stay for a week but then what?
He sighs and accepts the keys that the man hands over to him. "Room 208," the man grumbles as he goes back to sleep. Taehyung thanks him and then goes to the elevator only to find that it is out of service. He groans slightly and then looks over at the sketchy looking stairs. He is sure that someone's been murdered on them just by looking at the weird brown stains that discolour the white steps. He exhales deeply and starts walking up the steps.
He doesn't have much with him. He's holding a few small accessories and his school uniform in his hands along with a big sweater that his grandma had knit for him. Despite travelling lightly (not that it was his choice) Taehyung struggles to get to the floor of his apartment. He huffs breathlessly as he finally reaches the floor and then trudges over to the ratty apartment door.
He opens it and is met with a rather unpleasant smell but he brushes it aside and quickly walks in. The apartment is small and practically empty but he isn't going to complain. He is thankful that he at least has a roof over his head for tonight.
Taehyung laughs sadly to himself. It's funny how quickly things can change. Just a few days ago he wasn't even batting an eye at the comfort of his warm bed but right now he desperately craved for it. It's funny how people don't value the things they have until its gone.
Taehyung shakes off his thoughts and pulls off the t-shirt that he's been wearing since last night. He changes into that big sweater his grandma made for him and goes over to the small faucet in the corner of the room. He opens the tap which screams an ungodly sound as the pressure of the water runs past it. Taehyung lightly washes his face and then fixes his hair before looking up and staring into the slightly cracked mirror that was attached to the cabinet in front of him.
He lets out a slow breath of air for what feels like the hundredth time that day and then gives himself a little nod of assurance. "We got this," he says to his reflection.
For just a second, a sad smile flickers through his strong facade but he brushes it off and stands taller.
He can do this.
~
Finding a job was...easier than Taehyung expected. Mind you, he still had to walk around the town with his resume that he printed from the library and ask random shops if they were looking for workers.
However, he didn't expect to actually get one on his fifth try. And it was apparently all thanks to his gracious looks. He had entered a cute little cafe in the corner of the street and asked if they were looking for employees. The girl at the counter looked him up and down with a quirked eyebrow before she asked him to take a seat as she went and grabbed the manager. The manager, a short grumpy looking man in his mid-thirties had come over to him with a frown before also quirking his brows up in surprise.
"I'll be frank with you kid," the man started as Taehyung looked at him. "I don't know about your skills at work but you are quite the looker."
Taehyung smiled awkwardly as the man ran his eyes over his small form. "You would attract a heck load of the ladies into our shop."
Taehyung nodded, "s-so, erm, do you want m-me to hand in my résume?"
The man shook his head. "If you're willing to come to work at the time we request, I will be glad to give you the job, no questions asked."
Taehyung felt gleeful. He nodded enthusiastically which the man acknowledged with a slight nod. "Okay kid, come in starting tomorrow then. We don't have many evening workers so come in at 3:15 pm and clock out at 10:00 pm. Sound good?"
Taehyung gulped. 3 .15 to 10? His classes ended at 3 and he needs to cram at least 6 hours of studying each night. "Y-yes sir that's fine."
It's okay, I can study later at night. From 10:30 pm to 5 am? Right? Taehyung tried to reassure himself.
"U-um, sir, what about the p-pay?"
The man nodded as if he was expecting the question. "You get paid minimum wage per hour. So $8.20. You work 5 days a week from Monday to Friday. So $287 per week."
Taehyung paused, quickly doing the calculations in his head. He had to pay $150 for rent, he had to buy all his clothes again, had to repurchase his study books, he had to pay water, electricity and wifi bills and he has to buy food. He sighed. It was definitely not going to be enough but he'd have to deal with that later.
"Y-yes sir, so I start work tomorrow, right?"
The man nodded boredly.
Taehyung also nodded and sat there awkwardly for a few seconds before standing up and bowing. "U-uh, thanks again, sir," he said before he walked out of the shop.
The man boredly looked around his store until his eyes met the girl at the cashier. "Lindsey, stop slacking! You don't want me to cut off your paycheck for the week, do you now?" He yelled, embarrassing the girl in front of the customers at the store.
The girl tiredly bowed, "s-sorry, sir."
~
Taehyung sighs as he steps out of the cafe and into the streets. He looks out into the crowded streets that are filled with people rushing to go to work. He should be at school right now but he had to miss his first three classes because- well for obvious reason.
He spins around to go find a bus stop so he can head back to school but in doing so, he bumps into a firm chest. He immediately apologises, not even looking up to see who it is but then he hears his familiar voice.
"Ahh, look who we have here!"
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, "Baekhyun?"
The redhead looks down at him with that cunning smirk of his. "Ahh, what's our little Taehyungie doing out here in the big city all by himself?"
Taehyung cringes at the nickname, knowing that the boy is mocking him. "N-nothing."
The boy chuckles, "aw, are you looking for a job again?"
At this, Taehyung shoots his eyes up at the boy, wondering how he knew.
"Ahh, so you really are?" Baekhyun says as he leans against a wall, looking at the younger with a cocky expression.
Taehyung curses himself for reacting to the boy's question and then looks away in annoyance. "So what if I am? What is it to you?"
Baekhyun tuts in disapproval, "Why so rude, Blueberry? I was only asking. So are you?"
Taehyung looks back at him before slightly nodding. "Y-Yeah."
Baekhyun smirks at this, "and have you found one?"
Taehyung nods again. This seems to somewhat displease the redhead. "How much are they paying ya?"
Taehyung frowns, "why does it matter?"
The redhead lowers his head so that he is directly facing the smaller. He has this wolfish grin on his face that causes the smaller to cower slightly. "Because I have an offer for you."
Taehyung shakes his head and spins around, "no thank you," he says politely while attempting to walk away. The redhead groans in frustration, "will you just listen to me?!"
The blue-haired boy just continues to walk, avoiding the man calling out to him. Suddenly he feels his wrist being grabbed and something pulling him back. His body reels back and he finds himself cowering under the redhead's glower.
"Would you just listen," the man seethes, making Taehyung gulp down his rising anxiety.
"$2000 dollars," the man says, causing Taehyung to stop his anxious squirming and look up at him with wide eyes.
"F-For what?" Taehyung asks, curiosity getting the best of him.
"My boss needs some more employees to get some jobs done for him. If you do those jobs well, he'll give you a fair share of money. You might even get more than $2000."
Taehyung gulps, "w-what kind of jobs."
The redhead smirks, eyes twinkling with mischief. "You'll find out when you have to do them."
Taehyung looks down, contemplating. I shouldn't do this, they're bad people. Part of the mafia! Jungkook told me-
Thinking about the boy leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Why does it matter what Jungkook told you? He's not here with you, is he? To him, you're just a stupid little fag, nothing else.
Taehyung finds himself looking up at the boy with a conflicted expression. Baekhyun grins, "come one, it will be good. A lot of money."
Taehyung hesitates as he fights a battle in his head. He looks down at the cold pavement and finally makes up his mind. "Y-Yeah, okay," he says quietly while clenching his fist.
Baekhyun grins victoriously. "Great."
Taehyung nods before turning around to walk away, but the boy once again grabs him.
"And Taehyung, now that you said yes, don't even think of backing out. You don't want to see what will happen if you do. Got it?"
Taehyung gulps down the lump in his throat.
"Y-yes."
~
Taehyung rushes into his fourth-period class, his uniform dishevelled and hair a mess. He barely makes it on time and is met with the piercing eyes of his choir teacher.
"Ahh, Taehyung, how nice of you to join us," Mr Tay says sarcastically.
Taehyung bows down in apology while muttering a small, "sorry, sir."
The teacher sighs and points to his spot in the group of students. Taehyung walks to the spot and feels multiple eyes on his, scrutinising him, mocking him.
He knows that by now that already half of the student population have probably heard of the incident last night. News travels fast.
Huh, and they say girls are the one's who gossip. Clearly not.
He makes it to his spot and can feel a particular pair of eyes linger on him a little longer. He knows who it is but he chooses to ignore him, not bothering to even spare him a glance. The ravenette finally averts his gaze and stares back at the teacher, feeling himself gulp down the lump in his throat.
"OKAY!" Mr Tay yells, grabbing the attention of his students. "The graduation ceremony performance is only in a few weeks and you all still sound like rats in a sewer. I want this performance to be perfect. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
The front row, including Taehyung, wince at the teacher's loud voice as they feel their ear-buds shatter. "Yes sir," is the chorus of responses.
"Okay now, back line, I want you to sing slightly louder. Just because you're in the back doesn't mean you're worthless. It just means you are horrible singers. I want you to try to sing more confidently. Now the rest of you, just try work on the harmonies." The group nod.
"Okay," the teacher steps back and then holds his arms up. He waves his conductors stick around a bit and the students start singing.
"Not bad, not bad," the teacher says while raising his eyebrows. "Except," he spins around and points towards Taehyung and Jungkook. "You imbeciles messed up your entire part. It's a bloody duet! Why are you not matching your tones? Is this some sort of competition?! If so then get the hell out of my class and join some sort of reality show like the x-factor."
The two boys cower their heads in shame, "sorry, sir," they say simultaneously.
"Sorry isn't going to make you sound any better. I want you two to go in there and practice till your lungs fall off, understand?"
Jungkook nods and slowly walks over to the practice room but Taehyung lingers back and looks over at the teacher conflictedly.
"What is it, boy?" The teacher snaps as his sharp eyes dig into him.
Taehyung fiddles with his fingers anxiously, "u-uh, can I practice in another room by m-myself?"
The teacher narrows his eyes, "are you bloody stupid? How on earth are you supposed to practice a duet while in another room?! What, are you going to shout through the walls like some damsel in distress? Stop being ridiculous and go. Stop wasting my time."
Taehyung nods his head and walks to the room, trying to block out the snickers of the students as he does so. He enters quietly and walks to the other end, far away from Jungkook.
Jungkook finds himself staring at the boy. He notices how he looks dishevelled and how he has bags under his eyes. He looks tired. Jungkook gulps and looks away.
Stop thinking about him. The ravenette thinks to himself.
It's different when they start singing. Their powerful vocals are rather dull today, tainted by the weight of their worries.
"Fire on Fire would normally kill us"
Taehyung's voice is heavy, drowned by the suffocating pool of his depressing thoughts. Each syllable is stressed and uttered with this uncertainty; This hesitance. His beautiful melody is no more.
"But this much desire, together, we're winners"
Jungkook joins and their voices blend with heart-shattering delicacy. The usual warmth that spreads when they sing has now twisted into this icy coldness. Their once lively vocals now seem to only have a numbing effect on any who listen. And as it is only they who listen, it is they who feel numb. It is now only the embers that are left of what was once a glorifying fire.
"They say that we're out of control and some say we're sinners"
He is a sinner. Kim Taehyung. For he had laid under a man's arms. He had felt joy with another man. He had dared to love another man. But oh what a fool he was, thinking that the man was different. Because the man who he committed the treacherous sins with was just like them. He too saw Taehyung as a sinner. Taehyung had fallen for the devil, indulging in the warmth he provided. Yet he was too blinded to see that the soothing warmth was actually the firey anguish that burned within the devil's heart. Hatred not love. Anger, not passion.
"But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms"
It wasn't they who ruined out beautiful rhythms, Jungkook; It was you.
"Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me"
I never got to say that I love you and that is the only thing I don't regret.
"And look in my eyes"
Their eyes meet and for a mere moment their breaths hitch, the broken melody finally faltering into silence. They stare at each other for a few passing seconds, letting their two pools of darkness merge into one silent gaze. Taehyung feels his breathing turn erratic as he continues to stare into his eyes. He feels anxiety crawl up him, wrecking his small form and causing him to nervously tremble.
The longer he keeps staring into those dark eyes he feels the memories consume his brain. He sees them laughing, he hears their silly jokes, he smells his minty musk.
But with every joyful memory comes that stinging flashback.
Get off me, you fag
And then the memories don't seem so joyful; Instead, they leave him breathless, gutted, mourning.
"I really don't know what's gotten into you two," Mr Tay speaks, breaking the silence of the room. It seems to snap Taehyung out of the turmoil of thoughts and he looks away from the ravenette before walking past the teacher, not bothering to speak a word. The man stares at him in bewilderment as he leaves and then turns to look at Jungkook.
"What the hell happened?" The teacher exclaims.
But Jungkook doesn't answer; All he can think about is the hurt he saw behind those big doe eyes.
~
When he walks down the hallways he hears the remarks. He tries to ignore them but they're so blatantly spoken for him to hear. They aren't whispers, they're bold statements.
"Oh look, it's the fag!"
"Guys, it's that gay twink that tried to get with Jungkook."
"How does taking it up the ass feel?"
Taehyung just walks with his head held low, not daring to meet the eyes of anyone who passes. He's about to walk into the cafeteria when he spots his group. He looks up at them and notices their surprised expressions upon seeing him. The surprise soon turns into disgust as they snarl and him. Taehyung meet's Jimin's eyes who turns away from him, scoffing. Taehyung feels his heart drop a bit.
He had made so many good memories with the boys that he forgot how homophobic they were. He forgot that they hated who he truly was. He forgot that he was hiding behind a mask.
But now that he was no longer hiding and now that the mask was finally unveiled, he has to face the consequences. Kim Taehyung thought he had made friends in Hellvile high.
He hadn't.
It was that silly straight boy facade he wore that had gained him any friends but he knew that for as long as he was to be himself, a homosexual, he would not have any friends. He would have no one.
It was either fake it till you make it or suffer till they accept, and frankly, he knows that neither of those would happen.
Kim Taehyung can't win.
Here, in Hellville high, Kim Taehyung will always be a pathetic loser.
A pathetic fag.
He decides that sitting at the cafeteria wouldn't be the best option and instead opts for the school rooftop. It's quite peaceful there. Awfully lonely but peaceful.
He wonders to himself how long that peace will last.
~
When Jungkook steps into the dorm room after his classes finished he is taken aback. He hadn't noticed when he rushed in here in the morning to change into his uniform but now he sees it. He sees the emptiness of the room, or rather, the emptiness of one side.
Taehyung's side.
The once cutely decorated, neatly organised side of the dorm room is now completely empty; Blank. Gone.
He feels his heart drop at the thought. Taehyung is gone.
But of course, he should have expected it. After throwing the boy on the ground and calling him a fag why wouldn't he have left?
Jungkook sighs to himself. Maybe this was for the better. The less he saw Taehyung the less he would have to interact with him. That way maybe these weird emotions that he's been having for the past couple of weeks would finally stop.
He decides to brush aside the light sting in his heart and instead opts to clean his side of the room. He walks over and grabs a cigarette out of the packet laying on his bedside table and then lights it up. With the cancer-stick dangling between his lips, he walks around and starts mindlessly cleaning the room. He isn't the type to clean. In fact, he is a rather messy person; He is the type that finds it easier to jump over a pile of clothes rather than spend the time to fold them up neatly.
He crouches down and sticks his hand under the bed to get the vacuum (that he rarely uses). In doing so, he feels his hand come into contact with a scrunched up ball. He cringes at the thought of what it could be and hesitantly pulls it out. He frowns upon noticing that it's a scrunched up note.
He curiously opens it up and starts to read it; Finding his heart beating slower with every word.
I made pancakes and thought you might want some as well since you probably won't have time to make breakfast when you wake up. (Sorry if I put too much maple syrup)
- Taehyung
He reads over it, again and again. This feels like years ago but he remembers this day clearly. He remembers confusedly waking up to the delicious smell of pancakes and then being so surprised to find out that they were from his roommate who he had bullied the day before. He didn't understand Taehyung back then. He thought it was a trick, he was sure that the pancakes were poisoned or made poorly. But no, they were delicious. He just couldn't understand why the boy would do something like that; Why he would be so nice. Jungkook wasn't used to kindness. He was used to being deceived, being used, being hurt. So to him, Kim Taehyung was very confusing.
But then Jungkook got to know him more. He got to understand him; Got to hear his stories that he would mindlessly mumble next to him while he was upon the brim of sleep. He came to realise that Kim Taehyung was pure. He was selfless. He was kind.
God, he was so so kind.
He wasn't like any other person in his life. He was different. With his big toothy grin and bubbling laughter; With his crazy blue hair and adorably short height; With his gentle touches and soothing voice;
And with his big, sparkly doe eyes. His Bambi eyes.
Kim Taehyung was different.
And he made Jungkook feel different. He made Jungkook laugh harder than he ever had before. He made him feel warmer than he ever had before. He held Jungkook between his tiny arms and made him feel protected like he never had before. He made Jungkook feel at home, at peace. He made him happy.
He made Jungkook feel all sort of things and Jungkook...
Jungkook got scared. He got scared of his own emotions. His taunting past and his daunting thoughts had made him into a coward; Had made him do things that he regrets to his core.
But deep down, Jungkook can't help but feel glad because he knows; Knows that this is for the best. Kim Taehyung was pure but Jungkook was not. For Jungkook, Taehyung may be different but to Taehyung, Jungkook is just like everyone else. He's just another bully that torment's him. Just another prick that tries to tear him down. Just another person to hurt him.
So he's glad that Taehyung's gone. He's glad because this way, he can no longer hurt him. All he's ever done is hurt him but now he will be okay. He will be better off without him.
Jungkook takes a long drag of his cigarette before letting the stub fall to the floor. He crushes it with the heel of his shoes and watches as the crumbling stick breaks apart into an ashy pile of dust.
He sighs and sits down on the bed, letting his head fall forward. He looks at the paper in his hand and feels that dull pain in his chest. He unconsciously grips the note tighter and smiles sadly; Reminiscing of all the times they spent together, of all the times he had hurt him.
"I never deserved you, Bambi," he says out loud to the empty room.
-