NICK
"Can we sit together at lunch? Not inside, let's sit outside. The weather's nice today."
I looked at my text message and erased it.
"Hey, wanna sit together at lunch? Just like old times😉"
Backspace.
"Love you, see you at lunch."
When did I become such a stutterer over text?
"Hey."
She didn't text back.
This morning was still fresh in my mind. Jared was the first to know that his sister and I were back together. Next was Kyle. And I left it at that. Everyone would soon notice our holding hands and our interaction.
It was finally time for lunch and I wanted to be alone with my girlfriend.
"We should sit outside. It's a nice day today." I suggested when I met up with her.
"Okay," We decided on our bench that we used to always sit on before school. I asked why she didn't respond to my text and she admitted to losing her phone this morning when her parents found out about the party. I asked when she was getting it back and she didn't know. Instead, she gave me Jared's number in case I absolutely needed to call her.
"I need you all hours of the day, babe," she giggled cutely.
"You have a job. You couldn't possibly call me all hours of the day."
"Well, I at least text you all the time." She agreed and I felt clingy.
"Aaaa. Let's never break up again. Cause that was hell." I admitted halfway through lunch.
"I agree." Stacy added. She scooted closer and glanced at her legs before folding them over each other. She's been doing that a lot. I also heard her wince earlier. I decided to do an experiment.
"Babe," I got up from my seat on the bench and walked over to a tree. "Do I look good by a tree?" Stacy tilted her head and her curls flowed gently over her shoulder and arm.
"Yes," she turned her head back straight forward.
"Do you?" For a second I caught a worried look in her eyes before it was gone and she was smiling brightly, allowing her braces to glisten in the sun.
She got up from the bench and walked towards me. And my assumptions were correct, she was walking awkwardly. Kind of bow-legged. I passed by her and sat on the bench.
"Oh yeah, definitely," I said with a stupid grin on my face. She came over nervously and I noticed the weird walk in her step again. She sat down beside me and I wrapped my arm around her. "I'm so lucky to have a cute girlfriend."
"Yeah right," she scoffed.
"I mean it!" We caught each other's eyes then our lips did the same. Stacy wrapped her arms around my waist as I placed a hand on her thigh. I pressed on the farthest one from me and broke our connection.
"Are you on your period?" I asked as I found little spots of red seeping through her light blue jeans. Stacy looked away then closed her legs back up.
"No, I'm not on my period. I've actually missed it."
"Wait—"
"I'm not pregnant, Nick. A girl missing her period doesn't always mean she's pregnant. I've just ... been trying to lose weight and changing one's diet or exercise routine can sometimes mess with your cycle."
"I didn't know that. So what's with the blood between your legs?"
"It's called chafing. Girls get it when their thighs rub together. I'm still so fat I can't even wear running shorts without my skin rubbing together." Stacy buried her face in her hands and began crying. I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.
"Stacy, I didn't mean to make you cry."
"You didn't, I'm just insecure."
"Then stop being insecure." I pulled away and grabbed her hands from her cute face. "You're beautiful, Stacy. And I only want you looking good for me. No one else. If someone doesn't think you're gorgeous, their loss. I do. And that's all that matters. Right?" I wiped a tear from her eye and smiled down at her. "Right? Babe?" She smiled half-heartedly and nodded. I then hugged her and gave her a kiss on the temple. "You're mine, Stacy. My girl. And I'm yours. I don't care what you look like. Remember, I fell for you before I even saw your face. And I'm still falling for you, everyday I spend with you, only adds to the pile." She squeezed my torso and I squeezed her whole body back. "You've gotten so skinny, Stacy. But don't go crazy. Please, for me. I'm here now, no longer do you need to run for miles until the pain washes me away. I like knowing you think about me." Stacy pulled away.
"I always think about you."
"That's my girl." I kicked her chin up with my finger. "I don't like it when you cry." She nodded again.
"I have an extra pair of pants in my backpack. I'm gonna go change out of these."
"Do you have any bandaids?"
"The bandaids hurt the surrounding areas." I nodded wanting to show full understanding and support. I want her to talk to me about these things. I want to be more comfortable around each other.
"I'll be here," I waved to her as she walked back into the building that held the cafeteria, gym, and bathrooms.
STACY
I walked into one of the stalls, blood pumping to my cheeks. How embarrassing. I bet Nick was disgusted by me. How stupid of me to wear light jeans. I knew I should have placed something like a paper napkin or something in my jeans.
Before I took my jeans off, I walked out of the stall and to the paper towels. I grabbed a few and was about to turn back to the stall I had my bag in when Sarah and Jane walked in.
"Hey, Stacy." The beautiful blond, Sarah, said.
"Hey, Sarah, Jane." The skinny cheerleader who practically got me with Nick just nodded.
"Are you and Nick back together?" Sarah asked as she reapplied lipstick on her plump lips. She was so pretty. I wondered why I couldn't just look like her.
"Uh, yeah."
"So is this gonna be an off and on relationship?"
"A what?"
"You know," Sarah rested her body on one hip and folded her arms. "Some couples are just off and on for a while until they get tired of it and eventually break up." She shrugged.
"No, I don't think we're in that kind of relationship."
"Oh, good thing you were off these past two weeks. Nick was actually able to taste some freedom."
"What?"
"You two are still not having sex, right?" Jane snickered at Sarah's words.
"Yeah," I uneasily answered.
"Mm. I thought so. Like I said, Nick has entrapped himself once again. I think you'll be an off and on relationship. He seems pretty attached to you. But he's a man. And men have a need they must fulfill every once in a while. You know what I mean?" Jane just snickered again. Her sniggering wasn't very attractive.
I uneasily stepped back thinking the worst of my newly united boyfriend. Denial swept over me as I placed together everything the wicked blond was saying. Sarah must have seen the effect of her nested egg in my tense stance. Satisfied with her work, she flipped her hair gently behind her slender shoulder and finished up.
"Anyway, I hope you can forgive him. I mean, it's Nick. Take it easy on him, he's not really the boyfriend type. Like I said, boys can't help but fulfill a need."
I clenched my fists with the paper towels in them. Sarah looked me up and down one more time then laughed and pointed towards my crotch.
"Oh, period seeping is the worst. Sorry sweetheart," my face was red with anger along with embarrassment. "Sorry, I don't want you to be mad at me for pleasing your boyfriend. See ya." She perkily left with her follower leaving me in deep dudgeon.
Tears began to fall down my face like an uncontrollable waterway. I ran into the stall and quickly pulled my clean pants on, which were black. I then stuffed the tissue between my thigh and the fabric, promising my rash skin-cream once I got home. I would have to skip running today. I'm only halfway through the school day and the rash has only gotten worse. Especially with these loose pants. Stupid jeans. Stupid thinning thighs! I pathetically laughed at myself for getting mad—for once—about being skinny.
I shoved my bloody jeans into my backpack then washed my hands and face. The fact of Nick sleeping with Sarah was still fresh in my mind.
I went back outside and found Nick sitting on his phone by himself. I plucked up courage and walked towards him.
When he saw me, he smiled and my heart stiffened. "Hey, you okay? You took a while. Are your legs okay? Hey," his eyes narrowed, obviously having noticed the puffy look in my eyes. Tears welled up once again and I wiped at them before they could get out of control like they had in the bathroom. "Babe, what's wrong?" Nick stood up and grabbed my hand.
I looked him in the eyes and tried to figure out what to say or do. Should I get mad at him? We weren't dating when he got together with Sarah. It was his right. But he said he couldn't stop thinking about me. How could he just sleep with another girl? To get me out of his head? But he said he was going to seminary and reading the scriptures. Did they mean nothing to him? Is this why he feels like he's unredeemable? Because he can't help his fulfilling needs?
"Did—" I choked, "did you sleep with Sarah, when we broke up?" I wiped at my face hating the look of foggy glasses.
"What? Hell no." Nick reached for my other hand. He's never been a liar. Or at least I don't think he has been. "Stacy," he grabbed my face then took my glasses. He wiped them on his shirt, getting rid of the dry tears I was too lazy to clean off from earlier in the bathroom. Once he finished, he placed them back on my round face. He then kissed my forehead while holding onto my shoulders. "I love you, Stacy. I'll be honest. The offer came up more than once, not only from Sarah, but other girls."
"Jane?"
"Of course Jane. Remember? She's a slut." I smiled at my toes and Nick just kissed my dark hair again. He then embraced me and I hugged him back. "I couldn't kiss another girl even if I wanted to. You're the only one, Stacy. You always have been and always will be."
I nodded and tugged at his shirt. The bell rang and he grabbed his bag. "Who put that idea in your head anyway?" He asked while holding my hand in the halls.
"Sarah and sort of Jane, I guess. But Sarah."
"That bitch. All because I wouldn't sleep with her. You know ... she's really jealous of you."
"What?"
"Oh yeah, she even called you skinny and pretty the other day. And she even steeped low enough to lie about sleeping with me. Trust me, Baby. After having that awful dream all those weeks ago, and feeling what I felt after waking up, I'm never going to do a one night stand with a girl, ever."
I squeezed his hand and he smiled back.