It was around 5pm when we got back from having dinner together at a local restaurant. I was getting ready to go to the studio with Trippie redd.
"That's me going guys" I said to everyone who was still in the living room. Which was all the girls and boys. "Remember we are going to a party, I'll send you the addy in case you want to come" maddie said.
"Okay, bye love you all" I say closing my door and heading to my car.
I walk into the rented studio to see trippie redd sitting at the sound board playing around with some beats. "Hey" I say getting hit attention. "Hey, call me trippie" he said.
"Cam or cammy" I said as I pulled a seat over next to him. "You got anything yet?" I ask.
"Yeah I think I've got the just of the beat and the over all idea of the song" he said as we began to improve and expand his idea.
It was around 10pm, we were recording our last tape making sure it was perfect. I was in the booth singing as trippie was recording.
And tell you that I've been hurt before
So I think I'm gonna need another minute
To not hurt no more
'Cause all I do is jump right into your arms
Every time I see you
I just wrap myself around you, yeah
Jump into something real
"That's us finally finished" trippie said as I got out the booth giving him a hug. "I love it, so when do you think it's going to come out?" I ask.
"3-4 days we will have a release party at mine if you want?" He asked.
"Hell Yeah I love to party" I said.
"Okay I'll stay in touch, bye" he said leaving. I got all my stuff and headed to my car.
Ever since I had that encounter with Lucas, I can't help but think that it was all my fault. Alec was dead because of me, I've been trying so hard putting on happy face for everyone around me but i think I was about to break soon.
I was parked outside of Ryan's house, I was buying a couple gram of weed off of him. I was just scrolling though my Instagram when I post came up on TMZ.
MGK and Halsey back together??
Halsey and colson Baker were seen together earlier this night outside a club in LA. The couple haven't been seen together in almost 6 weeks. Colson cut off communication when he found out Halsey had cheated on him. Colson has been in the news a lot recently over a new mystery woman with the name of Camila Russo and upcoming singer. Fans were quick to say that Colson and Camila were dating but we don't think so anymore as some fans outside of the club saw them making out. So the end of Camilson and the begging of an other relationship with Halsey? Stay updated.
I put my head against the back of the seat, as I look blankly into space. So many emotions going through my mind at once. A knock on my window brought me out of my day dream. I roll down the window to see Ryan standing with my weed. "Thanks" I say handing the money for it. "You good? I heard about what happened with Lucas" he said.
"Yeah, I'm better now that he's locked up" I said.
"Good, remember text me. Love you sis"he said as he walked back into his house. "You too" I said rolling up the window then speeding off. I stopped at a random parking lot to roll a couple joints.
I had just smoked two joints and it wasn't helping, I was so angry and sad I just couldn't deal with the mixed emotions .Everything racing though my mind, from Alec to colson. I just wanted to be calm.
"I'm coming over" I say into the phone. "Cam? Why are you calling me?" My old friend gus said.
"I need something that will make my brain stop for a bit." I said.
"Okay, come over" He said as he ended the call. Gus was an old friend from when I worked for Lucas's gang. I knew if I went to Ryan he wouldn't give me any other drugs than acid or weed. So I had to go to gus for this.
"Hey" I said as I walked into gus's house. "Haven't seen you in a while" he said giving me a small hug. "Yeah sorry for that" I said, it was my fault after everything with Alec I only spoke to the girls, I stopped speaking to everybody. I followed him through to his room, "pick your poison" he said as he pulled out a couple baggies full of different drugs. "Can I get a bottle of xans?" I said as gus raised his eyebrow up. "Need something to calm me down, my mind is all over the place" I said as he nodded. I handed him a couple notes as he handed me a bottle with 30 2mg pills in it. "I miss you Gussie" I said.
"Missed you too, text me when ever" he said before I left doing down stairs.
I was sitting in the corner of the trippie room, I had already taken a pill and a half. I started feeling the affects of it. I felt euphoric, I was calm relaxed as I played music in the background, until my eyes began to close shut.
———
"Cammy you okay?" Maddie said, I slowly opened my eyes adjusting to the light. I look up to see everyone here, the girl and even the boys. I saw that everyone had their eyes one me , everyone including colon. "Shit, must of passed out last night I was so tried when I came home from the studio" I said lying, it was because of the Xans. I didn't want to deal with all of them the now.
I got up and walk past them all heading to my room. I look at my phone to see I had a text from gus.
Gus
-gonna go to the skatepark the now, then hitting up studio if you want to tag along?
Me
-got nothing better to do, I'll be there in 20
Gus
-see ya
Gus was an up and coming artist like me, but he started off on sound cloud. He was really good, I loved his music so much, is stage name was lil peep.
I quickly got changed into an an all black outfit, once I was ready I took grabbed a hold of my backpack throwing a hoodie, a water bottle some cash, my journal with my lyrics and then my bottle of xans. I also grabbed a packet of cigs putting them in my back pocket then a joint behind my ear.
I walked to the living room to see everyone still here. "I'm going to the skate park then I'm going to the studio, I don't know when I'll be home" I said. Everyone just looked at me giving me a nod. "Text me so I know your alive" maddie said before I closed the door. Her comment made me giggle a little because I didnt feel like I was alive at this point, it was like I was stuck in a dream or something.
Once I met up with gus and some of his friends we began to do some tricks, then played a couple games of skate. "Gus take a photo of me for the ig" I said as I passed my phone to gus as I slid down the box. "That looks sick as fuck" He said.
Liked by @zane and 946,092 others
@cammyrus skatepark therapy session
📸 @lilpeep
31,947 comments
@currencaples dude this is sick
^@cammyrus no way did you just comment on my post, your legit my fav skateboarder ever
@GG_gia that's my girl 💖
@mad_son the boys in the back be wishing they are as good as you
@machinegunkelly still remember when I found out you could skate
@hater aw she's legit a boy, an ugly one
We were at the studio when I read colsons comment on my post. Is he serious just going to act like he didn't kiss his fucking ex last night. My blood was boiling at this point.
We were all just messing around at this point loads of people showed up and we all got drunk and high off of different drugs. I was posting some random stuff on my Snapchat.
I look at my notifications to see my phone was blowing up with texts and calls from everyone.
Girls house chat
Maddie
-where are you?
Lucy
-thought you weren't going to be long
G
-why the fuck are you with Gus
-he's no good you know that
Maddie
-just text us back so we know you are alive
-everyone is worried, even the boys, kells can't stop asking questions
Me
-I'm fine just having a good time
I had saw that colson was texting me but I didn't even want to look at them, why the fuck was bothered. He was legit kissing Halsey last night.
Suddenly Gus sat down next to me, "you good?" He asked.
"Just really can't be bothered with all of my friends right now" I said.
"If you want you can always crash at mine, you can rant to me and I'll try and give you advice" he said taking a draw is his cigarette. "Why not. Can we get a photo, we haven't had one in years"I said.
"Sure" He said I put the camera on us taking the photo.
I posted it on Instagram as I got more texts from the girls and colson. I saw one that he sent me.
Colson🖤
Please answer, I know you on your phone because you posting pics with that guy. Just want to make sure your okay.
I locked my phone putting it in my back pocket as me and gus got into an Uber heading back to his. We sat on his bed as he listened to everything I had to say about the past 2 years off my life. He wasn't much help when it came to giving me advice but it took some weight off of my chest. We soon passed out from how late we stayed up until.
Lucy's (pov)
Cammy must of been away for around four hours, we were all still in the living room watching some random movie when I went onto my phone seeing cammy posted a photo. I saw G and maddie already commented on it. I looked at the caption to see she tagged gus. "Guys, why is cam with Gus?" I ask and they look at me confused, they must of not seen it. "She tagged him in the post, he took the photo of her" I said as maddie took her phone out looking at the photo. "This isn't any good" she said, as I totally agreed with her. Gus has really bad drug addiction, and we were scared in case cammy went back to her old ways. Having to take so many drugs just to function in the morning. "She's with all of them" G says pointing her phone at me, cam just posted a couple photos on her snapchat off all of them at the studio. At this point we began to call her, no answer. "What's happening?" Rook asks.
"Cammy isn't answering her phone and she's with some old friends she shouldn't be with" I said keeping it short and I start texting her. "Will she be okay?" Kells said.
"Maybe" I said not getting his hopes up. There was something off with both cammy and kells today. Cammy has never feel asleep downstairs before not even drunk, somehow she would end up in her bed or the bathroom. Kells was more quiet, not making eye contact with any of us. And to think about it, I don't think he said anything cammy all day.
I pushed it to the back of my head and we had to find out where cammy was. I started texting Tracy, gus's friends for him to text us.
They didn't answer us for a couple hours it was now 11pm. Cammy texted us saying she was just having fun. Then Tracy said that they were all crashing at gus house tonight. Relief came from that text but we were still worried. We knew where she was but we didn't know what she was doing.