AN: For those who may be confused, the italics are an indication of memories.
(Y/N)'s POV:
"What?!" a cranky voice rings through the dark, small room.
I pick my head up from my cold, tear covered naked knees to gaze at the older, scruffy man standing in the doorway as he stares down a small girl that looked just like I did when I was a young girl; (H/C) hair ratty and unkempt, clothes dirty, pale and barely covering her beaten, shivering body.
The only light being the door slightly open with an older man starring down my smaller form with a lit cigarette in his mouth. "You're telling me you want food because your stomach hurts?" He asked and puffed a breath of smoke into the young girls face.
"Please, *cough* sir." My small voice cracks while another growl noise is heard coming from me and the pain intensifies.
'It's called hunger and you'll never be satisfied.' I bitterly thought to myself. While still watching the scene play out in front of me.
"Well come'ere then." The stubby man stated after taking another puff of his cigarette and pulling the slender arm of my younger self harshly. Her arms look like bones with sleeves, they were so small. One-touch and they might break.
Without a moment to waste the man smothered the lit end of his tobacco into the little girl's arms. She hissed in pain, but the man didn't care as he began to scream in her face "This is what happens when you expect something from others!" With that Mr. Welsh, as I remember my tormentor's name, threw my crying little self to the ground of the cell floor, and watched as she began to shake and cry beneath his sharp gaze.
I wanted to go over to her and help her up, but I knew there would be nonsense to interact with something that was only part of my imagination.
"You're a country, brat! So try to act like one! Countries don't need food to live!" Mr. Welsh shouted. "When you eat you take it from the mouths of those who need it to survive! You're a hideous freak, a rat! You won't die no matter what we do to you! " There was a silent moment as he stopped to stare at the wheeling little girl below him.
"You roach." Was the last thing he muttered before completely slamming the door, leaving the young girl to ball her eyes out in pain and sadness. There no one would hear as she broke down except for the shadows surrounding her. They were the only thing that didn't hurt her in her pathetic, beaten life.
That's not the worse thing to happen to her. She was merciful towards her this time. There have been other times where Mr. Welsh would hold her down to beat and torment her for hours. That usually happened when he was drunk though. Those days made the young girl wish she were like every other human so she could have died and been free from the agony she felt.
'Here we are again.' I bitterly thought to myself. 'alone in the dark.' This time, however, feels different from the past. Back then the being isolated in the darkness felt like a blessing. No one would hurt me there. 'Why is it haunting now to be in the one place I once loved?' I asked myself.
The light, that's what happened. It was brought in to my life when I didn't deserve it's kindness and made the shadows turn bleak and irritable. A face I long knew came to my mind at the thought of this fuzzy feeling. 'Ivan.' The one who saved me on that terrible day.
I couldn't take the light I was he gave and I ran from it. I ran from Ivan. I just didn't want to be his burden anymore and I needed my freedom in order to. It left a painful hole in my heart since the day I left him in the chilling dust. From then on I carried the crater in my heart and it seemed as if it would always be apart of me. At least the first puncture had some company then.
That was until I met Ludwig. He changed everything for me. He was stern and offputting at first, but that was only due to his shyness. It took a lot of effort on both parts but eventually, once we were close enough with each other, I began to open my heart up to another. My past became nothing more than a nightmare that I had as a small child. He became my new light.
'I see now I wasn't meant to taste the warmth of that light either, huh?' I bitterly questioned my inner self.
That thought stung.
Was I never meant to feel the tranquility of the light? Do I deserve to live my eternal life here in the numbness known as the dark? Should I just give in to the shadows? Would it be easier?
Part of me wanted to give in, but another side of me was still hopeful. 'What about Ludwig? Do I want to give up on him?' Thoughts I hate you sometimes. Of course, I can't give up on him. He's the love of my infinite life. He's the only thing left to guide me.
'I have to keep fighting' I scolded my thoughts for even doubting for a moment. 'This month ain't nothing. I've had worse.' I told myself as I began to wipe the fresh tears I didn't notice then were trickling down my warm cheek and through my bent legs. 'I will make it back home. I will make it back home. I will make it back home.' I kept telling myself, becoming more encouraged. 'I will make it back, to Ludwig. My real husband. My real love.'
This pep talk made me feel warm and alive. I can't give up so easily. I have to stay strong for Ludwig. Even for my friends Japan and Italy too. I can't let them down.
A feeling of calmness came over me as I worked through my negative thoughts and push the dark within my heart and fill it with the light that Ludwig left behind.
That was until the sounds of a door being unlocked and the blinding light from the stairway came flooding in with a certain someone standing in the middle of the doorway with a smile and a plate of food.
"Good morning Daaaaarling~." He greeted. Stretching out his last word. "Did you sleep alright?" He asked as he made his way over to me with a tray of food. Not bothering with the door being left wide open, taunting me. He knew that If it were between me or him he would definitely win. I know this too, but the thought still stings.
"If you mean no sleep at all then sure I did wonderfully." I spat to the approaching American.
"Well, that's good." America smiled and sat down in front of me. Either ignoring or not noticing the clear sarcasm in my response. "I made you breakfast by the way." He stated with the same innocent smile plastered on his face while pushing the tray of eggs, toast, and bacon towards me.
I tilted my head to the side while raising an eyebrow in confusion. Was he being serious or was this another form of mockery?
America saw my confusion and laughed? "You're so adorable when you do cute stuff like that, you know?" He compliments with a slight blush dusting his cheeks. His innocent attitude caught me off guard and causes me to become flustered as my cheeks began to feel warm and it feels nearly impossible to look him in the eyes. "Th-thanks." I stutter and take the tray in embarrassment.
'How could I let myself relax when in the presence of a monster?!' I scolded myself internally while haking my head 'I have to stay guarded.' I repeat to myself and put the tray down on the stone floor and stared America right in the eyes.
"What's wrong honey? Aren't you going to eat?" He asks ignorantly.
"I don't like it here Alfred." I state in a low, monotone voice while keeping my eyes set on his baby blue eyes.
America sighs softly while pushing his hair back with one hand and turning his head to face away from me as if looking around the pitch dark room around me. After all, the only light was coming from the doorway. "I know, I know, I don't like keeping you here too much either. The bed was cold last night with-
"That's not what I mean and you know it." I butted in as my eyes narrowed towards him. "I want to go home." I demanded.
America's face hardened when he threw his gaze back to me. "What do you mean (Y/N)?" He questioned. His eyebrows kitting together as if daring me to defy him. "You are home."
I knew I couldn't back down. I can't let him win. I have to stay strong. "No Alfred. This isn't." I stated. Never faltering eye contact with my monster. "You're not my husband and this isn't my home and it never will be."
"It will be. All in good time daaaaaaaarling~." He purred. Stretching out the word 'darling' again.
"Give it up Alfred!" I shouted while throwing my hands in the air because frankly, I didn't care anymore. (Sorry had to ;)) "You have no idea what you're even getting yourself into! You're just acting on these childish impulses you have without thinking things through! You think what? That kidnapping a country is not going to start an uproar! You've taken over my government, flew me across the nation after beating my husband and friends, and now you want to tie our nations together after you've demolished my ties with anyone else?! All for what? Because you think I love you? That I'll just abandon my actual husband to live in your twisted fantasy? You're a monster! A completely arrogant monster!" I stammered out. Having no regrets at letting out my anger on America.
Out of nowhere, America began to laugh. Not your typical America's happy and giggling a kind of haha funny laugh. Oh no, this one was a full-blown, going off the rails after losing your marbles kind of laugh and it only grew louder until tears began to trickle down his beat red face. He was hysterical. "You really think this is all an act on my impulses?" He asked as he wiped a tear from the side of his eye. "Darling you are sorely mistaken."
Before I could even take movement in protest, America had his hands clamp to each side of my shoulders and it causes my breath to hitch. Not caring for his fingers that were deep into my shoulder blades painfully while his eyes were sharp and piercing. It felt as if his eyes alone were barring into my soul and freezing it in an instant. "I've been planning for the day I'd take you away for years, decades now. I've spent countless, sleepless nights planning every detail from the house and family to how to keep those dirty countries from having to see my wife's precious face ever again. Hell, I even handle both mine and your governments, despite their differences. So don't you count on a revolutionary uproar to save you, sweetheart. I've already taken care of everything." America explained. His tone was never raised to yell. It stayed calm and somehow that was more terrifying than anything else.
"And when I say everything." He motioned to my stomach with a smirk. "I mean everything~."
I was frozen in my spot. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even blink for that matter. I was stuck staring into the sharp, cruel eyes of the monster in front of me.
"I will admit" America led on with a small sigh. "I did have a little trouble understanding why your heart wasn't even slightly moving into submission after an entire month of being here, but I got some advice from a dear friend of mine who told me the whole biz." He exclaimed with a small smile. His eyes, however, remained ravenous. "I just have to wait until I can catch your shattered heart. Only then can I reconstruct it back to how it should be, filled only with my love and the love for me only. I'll be the only thing in your heart." America waved off as if it were so simple before continuing.
"Of course, there will also be some wiggle room for our children. Afterall a mother who's heartless towards their children is depressing and sickening. Why even have a child if you're never going to love them? But that's nothing to worry about now is it?" He smiles widened as he went further into his fantasy. "Our family will be pure and built on the love that we've built up for decades. You're typical American made home. What more could you possibly ask for?"
"W-what?!" I stuttered. "You can't be serious? This is crazy! Can't you see that it'll never work. If I can't find a way out of here then Ludwig will come and kick your butt! I'm not going to play the ditzy house spouce wife in your twisted fantasy. I'm going to go home! My real home!" I protested.
"Hah that's a laugh!" America mocked. His grip became intensively tighter and became increasenly painful, but I still refused to let myself yelp. "You really think that he'll come to rescue you? I just finished toying with him and Italy then sent their sorry asses back home after I terrorized and nearly drove them and Japan into bankruptcy. He won't have to power to even walk down the same sidewalk as us. Let alone attack me."
'What does he mean by terrorize? What has he done to them?' I thought as I began to shake in his hold. My thoughts began to go wild at all the possibilities of what America could have put them through, but was abruptly stopped when I felt a menicing hand brush through my hair along with a voice of a once known friends that used to fill my heart with comfort, now only with hatred and fear.
"I've won," He breathed into my exposed ear. "And my prize, is you my dear trophy wife."
Hazza! Finally an update. I know, i know I said I would update once a week and it's been over two weeks now, but classes have been dumping work on me greater than the dump trucks and I'm trying to make some dough with picking up extra shifts at work so I haven't had much time last week to sit down and write, but at least I have one now and I should have another one fairly shortly too so keep that in mind.
Until till then peeps.....
Jellygirl out!~