The female black widow spider eats her mate during sex. The hungry spider can consume as many as 20 lovers in a single day.
Evelyn's p.o.v
I can't experience true fear... yes, you read that correctly.
During an orgasm, the parts of the brain that process fear shut down. The area in charge of your logical reasoning skills temporarily goes on vacation and several areas specially responsible for pain are active.
Although, for me, it was as though the part of my brain that was supposed to respond to fear had gotten permanently lost under the carpet; I just couldn't perceive it. Feeling like an outsider in your own skin wasn't an alien concept to me as I had always felt different, and maybe that was why I craved confirmation in the form of human touch? Intimacy.
If life had thrown me down a path of cliff diving, extreme sports or coal dancing, then maybe my lack of fear might've come in handy. However, when my preferred occupation consisted of small talk while dishing out questionable coffee at a small café in Amsterdam, it only served as a hindrance. As for my night time side-job as a call girl, well I guess it helped out there.
If only I didn't fear early mornings... Just the mere thought of working at such an ungodly hour had me wanting to crawl into bed, curl up in a small ball and never be seen again. So basically any other morning.
9:15am. Crap, I only had fifteen minutes.
I didn't want Adam to know I had spent yet another night at some random man's apartment, so I decided to round our small, third floor apartment, climb up the ivy ladders and crawl through my bedroom window. Despite my belief system surrounding the whole bullshit walk of shame, I only broke up with Adam a measly month ago and wasn't yet ready for that type of encounter before 10am.
The ivy was as easy to climb as ever and as I scaled the wall, full on monkey-style, I began to realize how much I depended on this window. Not only was it useful for the frequent occasions when I forgot my key, but also for sneaking in at the early hours of the morning or escaping to the roof at the dead of night to stargaze with a glass of wine... or three, who was counting?
While most people are afraid of the dark and wish the night away, sleeping patiently in hope of the dawn, I have nyctophilia. A love of darkness or the night; finding comfort in the darkness and feeling as though you belong in the dark.
I love how the night is alive, the sky crowded with millions of distant planets. Stars are much like us. They are born, they live for a certain amount of time, and then they die. Some fade away without making a fuss, while others explode in spectacular fashion, taking other planets with them. But in the end, like us, they are mortal. They can fall from grace. And so I love the night, for it is so very much alive.
However, as I climbed higher, I only hoped that no one was currently walking along the canal street below as I would be giving them a right show in this tiny dress. No point in visiting the red light district when Evelyn Rose Scott was giving away free thong displays left, right and centre while attempting to scale her apartment. I should put out a bucket for donations; kill two birds with one stone and get my rent payed while I'm at it.
I squeezed through the unlocked window, my hair momentarily getting stuck on one of the thorns and I cursed the dark strand. Why does hair have to hurt so much when it gets pulled out? I've got enough of the damn stuff, surely I can afford to lose a little to the thorns.
Clambering into my bedroom with all the grace of a blind rhinoceros, I pulled out my phone only to realise that all the missed messages were from work and there was actually only two non-work related voice messages. It was a rather depressing sight but I decided not to dwell on it, preferring to have only a few real friends, rather than lots of fake ones. Swiping across the screen, I double tapped on Alicia's name to hear what she had to say.
'Hey girl! I stopped around earlier but unsurprisingly your lazy ass was still fast asleep-'
I smiled at this, knowing how it infuriated Alicia to no end that I wasn't an early riser like her. Sorry Lic but some of us needed our beauty sleep... or at least that's how I defended my ability to sleep in until noon. It really is a skill. If people had superpowers, mine would undoubtedly be sleeping. Someone get me a bed and watch hours fly by. I was, however, relieved she hadn't entered my bedroom this morning only to realise I didn't make it home after we parted ways in the nightclub...
'-anyway, I left a little breakfast parcel with Adam and his current flavour of the day before work this morning. You know I'm on this new diet so it's fruit, enjoy!' There was a moment of silence before her voice chirpily added, 'Also if you think you're getting out of our girl's night out on Friday then you're severely mistaken. Okay, love you bye!'
The line beeped silent and I groaned into my open palm. Great. So it would seem that Adam, my roommate, still had a one night stand lingering around the apartment and I only had fruit to get me through the encounter. I sent her a quick message:
Evelyn: Fruit? Really. Really?
My second voice mail chased any trace of humour I'd found in Alicia's chirpy message. The invoice for Hope's latest treatment reminded me of why I had to continue my call girl business, the horrifyingly high cost of her medication draining my bank account but I couldn't complain. Not when it was keeping my poor sister alive when all the odds had said she wouldn't survive the first few days post surgery. I loved my sister enough to endure the degrading looks from taxi drivers and strangers who didn't know any better.
I would do anything for that girl and when the bank hadn't let me take out loans to pay for her surgeries and medical treatment, I'd had to find another way to keep her alive.
"Evie get your ass out the bathroom or you're gonna' get fired," Adam shouted through the bedroom door. "Again!"
Adam is the best: friend, housemate and royal pain in the ass a person could ask for, apart from Alicia but that goes without saying. Everyone believed Adam and I were the 'it couple' after our close friendship became something more, but it was never really that way. Our personalities just clashed too much and his wandering eye quickly become a cheating eye. A cheating eye that caused me to walk in on him with another girl's mouth wrapped around his cock after a late shift at work just over a month ago. I ended things immediately after that, best friend or not I could not forgive a cheater.
So now I just had to deal with the parade of girls that streamed through our apartment after one night stands with the man who had no loyalties or consistency in his life. Except for me.
His best friend once again. Yippee! Lucky me. Note the sarcasm in my tone.
I let out a small grunt of protest before packing my black skates into a tote bag, adjusting the burgundy miniskirt and peter pan collar of my uniform as I left. Working in a small, retro café just opposite the canal had its perks, and it's many downfalls. The uniform is just one of the many things I detested about the job, especially when I couldn't even stay upright in my skates up until two weeks ago when Adam had offered to give me a lesson.
But money is money at the end of the day and I needed every last bit I could get my hands on.
Five months ago I'd been desperate enough to try stripping in the red light district when Hope first got the offer of life saving surgery over in America. However, I'd only given the club a measly week of my time before quitting. I couldn't handle so many greedy men leering over my body at once and feeling so exposed.
It hadn't been my thing, yet I didn't regret a second of it as I'd met Alicia there and straight after my last shift she'd offered to help me set up my own call girl website with some of her contacts. Although, it had taken a while to build up my website to the point that I was happy to meet up with men; appealing to only a very select, elite clientele had worked wonders and now only a month into working, I was already paying off months of Hope's medical debt.
There was another loud bang from the other side of the door and I held in a groan at the abrasive noise.
"I'm coming! Jesus Adam, I don't want to put all my wages toward getting a new door just because there's a fist sized hole in the current one!" My voice was dripping in pent up frustration and I told myself it wasn't simply due to the girl lingering on the other side of the door with Adam. I would normally just ride my bike to work, packing my skates into a bag and changing into them at work, but I knew better than to ride whilst hungover so Adam would unfortunately be taking me in his car.
I slipped out of the bathroom after popping in a new pair of contact lenses and tried to hide my visible cringe as I was met with the sight of a perky blonde perched on Adam's lap, a topless Adam may I add. Maybe I should've just kept my blurry vision so I wouldn't have the mental image of them sat together like that burned into my mind? My eyes drifted to where his hand reached out for me, lips lifting in a lazy greeting.
"Hey, look who finally decided to show her face!" He carelessly pushed the unnamed blonde off his lap and came over to me, his left arm draping over my shoulder in an intimate gesture that left her frowning at our close proximity. If you didn't know our situation then it would probably look as though we were still a couple. You can frown all you want blondie but he's my best friend and only I get to be utterly, depressingly and unrequitedly in love with him. "Lic left you this."
I took one look at the pink box to my left and rose a suspicious brow at the delicately wrapped parcel that most definitely did not contain fruit. As I studied the contents of the box, Adam finally decided to throw a shirt over his naked torso, covering the deliciously tanned muscles across his chest. Thank the heavens, at least now I could look at him without gaping like a fish out of water.
"Strawberry jam and lime frosting." He licked an invisible drop of strawberry jam from his upper lip in a teasing manner that left me involuntarily staring at his lips. Damn him. "I invited myself to taste test seeing as though you never actually manage to finish them anyway."
'The one with Ross's wedding' was playing in the background and despite wanting nothing more than to curl up on the sofa and have a friends marathon, I needed to pay rent and that meant actually turning up for work. I collected my few belongings, along with my phone and bag as I got ready to leave the apartment. Adam watched carefully from the doorframe, his eyes assessing me. I could tell that he was desperate to say something.
"Spit it out." I groaned, his constant staring beginning to put me on edge.
"You should be more careful about hygiene with everything that's going on you know? Sleeping around with random men is only going to increase your chances of catching this damn virus." As soon as the words left his mouth I could see the visual regret displayed on his face. He of all people had no right to lecture me on sleeping around. The verbal slap I received was enough to snap my head up at him, the hypocrisy lacing his words was unbelievable.
"Touché Asshole." I bit back with a sneer, "I sure hope you disinfected that bitch before she gave you head. I wouldn't want to go within a square mile of your room with a UV light for fear of getting blinded." I wanted to retain what eyesight I had left, thank you very much. The sheer amount of semen in Adam's room that a UV light would detect... I didn't even want to consider it.
He gave me a guilty look that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."
"Yeah, you really shouldn't have." It was bad enough having strangers judge me, but Adam? That was a thousand times more degrading. Besides, sex actually boosts your body's ability to make antibodies against bacteria and viruses. So in theory, my job was actually protecting me from the Insid-A virus.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket, taking my mind off Adam and his insulting running commentary on my sex life.
Alicia: What? Is it not still considered fruit? ;)
I grinned down at my phone before typing out a quick reply.
Evelyn: I love the way you think girl.
"What are you smiling about? Lover boy texting you back?" Adam grabbed his car keys from the side bowl and began to casually swing them around his index finger when I didn't reply. I thought I detected something like jealousy in his tone but shrugged off the ridiculous notion, he doesn't care who I speak to in that way. After a night of meaningless sex with some hot blonde, he had no right to act jealous or shame me. Upon realising that I wasn't going to indulge him with an answer, he let out a shallow breath. "Whatever. You ready to go?"
I didn't grace him with a response, still feeling irrationally annoyed at the blonde currently perched on our couch. He could at least inform me or give the slightest heads up that he was expecting company. Adam could think whatever he wanted, better him believe I'm texting some random one night stand than the truth.
I'm still in love with you, you idiot. Can't you fucking see that?
"Are you high?" I asked, not bothering to glance over my shoulder to see his reaction. It wasn't supposed to be an accusation, although he took it that way.
"Of course not, I wouldn't offer to drive if I was. Besides, it's bloody 9am!" He shot me an incredulous look, thick brows raising practically into his hairline.
"Hasn't stopped you before. I was just checking." I grabbed the pink box of half eaten pastry, shoving it under my arm before leaving the apartment with little more than a glance in Adam's direction. The elevator was occupied so I took the stairs down to the ground floor, the only indication of my lingering irritation was the slapping of my shoes along the cracked, marble flooring. I got outside and Adam's car flashed unlocked when I approached the door, the only thing alerting me of his close presence behind me.
"So are you going to speak to me at all this morning, or are we playing that little game where I have to pretend to know what I've done wrong this time?" My eyes flicked to where Adam was leaning against the car door, his smug smile only fading when a chirpy voice broke our moment from behind.
"Hey Adam, can I come 'round again tonight? Last night was wild!" Her voice sounded so full of enthusiasm and misplaced optimism that for a second I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. Until images of her and Adam having a 'wild time' in his bedroom flashed to light... and he wonders what he's done wrong this time. Technically nothing, but it still hurts to see what I can't have, especially when it was then slapped in my face.
Adam scratched the back of his neck with an awkward sigh before replying, "Yeah last night was fun Rosie, but I don't do repeats. Sorry baby." Ah, so the unnamed blonde does have a name after all. With that he gave the car door a yank and hopped in on the drivers side. I felt slightly guilty about smiling, but the corners of my mouth involuntarily lifted as I proceeded to wave goodbye to the blonde and hop in beside Adam.
Adam is my man, who isn't my man. Back off Rosie.
I could have sworn I heard her mutter something about Adam being unavailable before I got into the car: 'He's someone I can't let myself get too attached to, there is clearly something between them.' My head snapped up upon hearing her words. However, when I looked toward Rosie her mouth was zipped shut and she was walking away from us, all the way on the other side of the road.
That was strange, how did I hear her voice? I shook it off.
"Do you have to do that every time?" I shot him a look once the door was safely shut behind me. Adam's eyes met mine and he shrugged. Trying to get Adam to admit to being in the wrong was like trying to fight Voldemort with a wooden spoon, pointless and inevitably a waste of time, it was just never going to work.
"So now you're speaking to me?" He proceeded to reverse off the pavement, his steady hands resting atop the wheel as we continued to drive alongside the canal. "Why lead them on when it's never going to be more than one night?" His answer seemed easy, simple. Like his behavior was completely justified. I decided now was a good time to brave the skates and began to pull them on as we spoke.
"Why only ever one night?" I prodded the question that had been eating away at me for a while now, not really sure if I wanted to know the answer. "That Rosie girl seemed... relatively nice? Why not see her again?" He was silent for a while, leading me to believe that he wasn't going to reply. I settled for simply looking out the window and watching the many skilled bikers swerve in and out of the people on foot.
"I know how to distract myself from what I really want, she was just a temporary distraction, they all are." He didn't expand on his cryptic answer any more than that and before I could pry him for a better explanation, we had arrived at the small café. "You okay getting in by yourself or do you need a hand?" And just like that the topic was shut down. His expression had returned back to its usual cocksure appearance and my eyes automatically glanced down to where the black skates taunted me.
"Yeah, I'm going to need that hand." I would like that hand somewhere else, somewhere a little more responsive, but for now I would take it on my back as he helped me stagger to the green door of the café.
The place had been constructed from red bricks and ivy now grew up the front in what looked like a game of twister that got out of hand, vines stretching right to the roof. Inside, the cáfe was finished with cosy, wood furnishings and lightbulbs that hung from the ceiling on coiled, gold cord. The floor was a haphazard mix of antique rugs, making my job on wheels all the more impossible.
Even from outside we could both hear indie music trickling out onto the street, the small café trying its best to fit in. It looked as though Pinterest had just thrown up all the building, especially with the latest installment of a low hanging swing-chair in the far corner.
"The answer is yes." I rolled my eyes as he let me go at the doors, my head turning to face him. I staggered to a stop in my skates, one hand firmly placed on the brass door handle to find my equilibrium.
"Yes what?" His lips turned up in a slow smile, "I thought you didn't agree to blowjobs unless we were in a relationship, but I'm not complaining."
I playfully smacked his arm with a reluctant smile of my own. "You're disgusting but yes the pastry is yours before you ask, you can finish it off." I tried to pretend that his careless words had no effect on me but my heart was pounding at the prospect, especially as he leaned down to press a goodbye kiss against my temple. It was only a casual gesture between two friends but I couldn't help leaning into his parting touch.
"See you later, Eve." He broke away from me and turned back to the car, my eyes following his taunt frame all the way. The worst part was that as soon as I entered the café the other waitress, Olivia, was watching me, winking and wiggling her eyebrows as though I was keeping something from her. As though there was actually something more than just a ridiculous thread of remorse on my part for not being able to keep him for myself.
I tried to tell her to stop being nosey and got started on waitressing, wiping down all surfaces and door handles with antibacterial spray. The café had been particularly slow over the last week, numbers being consistently low after news of the virus reaching Amsterdam had surfaced. I was left desperately trying to make up for my late start this morning, needing to make the most of my reduced tips. Rent was due in less than a week and I knew for a fact that my half of the payment was nowhere near complete and I couldn't rely on Adam to cover for me yet again.
Life truly does enjoy fucking me over like some low budget porno.