"Hey, Maknae! Are you still sleeping?!" Jin scolded me.
Honestly, I wasn't able to catch even a minute of sleep last night. All I did was overthink my life decisions and mistakes that couldn't be fixed anymore.
The image of her was dancing in front of my eyes. She wasn't happy, I knew her well enough to know that. She was trying hard to cover how much I disappointed her but there was no point in hiding it anymore - I knew that at some point in my life I would have to sacrifice what we have for the sake of our careers. But I didn't want to...I didn't want to let her go.
Love between us was just the same, I loved her wholeheartedly and she loved me back yet the distance made it hard for us, it was slowly but steadily making us grow apart.
"Ya! Hyung! I'm coming," I complained and stood up from my bed.
We still had to do a few shows before heading back to Korea. Today it was Berlin and tomorrow and the day after that, it was Paris. Just a few more days and I'll see her again. If she would want to see me tho.
I haven't texted her back, not because I played dumb or ignored her but because I couldn't take the massaging anymore. I wanted the real interaction and not a text, I couldn't bring myself to type anything as I knew how much she missed me and I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. So, I decided to leave her last text unread despite the guilt in my heart.
"Hey, man! Did you see the dance cover of YGX?! It's amazing. It's the dancing trio: Kim Donghyuk, Lee Seunghoon and Lisa. I loved every second of watching it! It was almost as good as her solo cover ten or so days ago" Hobi was explaining loudly to Jimin.
"What are you talking about?" I interfered in their conversation.
"You haven't seen your girl's dance cover? Wow, Jungkook, how can you call yourself a boyfriend?" Jimin scorned.
"Well, at least I wasn't dumped," I said without second thinking.
He looked at me with a mix of sadness and anger before saying:"I'm very well convinced that you are also not far from that since every other friend of hers takes better care of her than you. And if you must know, me and Rosé decided to stay friends and we still talk almost every day, when you haven't spoken to your girlfriend in five days! And you have the audacity to lecture me? You should thank God every day that she didn't dump you a long time ago because you're an asshole."
It was unordinary for Jimin to speak like that but his words felt like bullets that were being shot into my body and the worst part was that he was right, he was fucking right about everything.
"Now, if you may excuse me, I have places to be. And Hobi hyung, I agree...they did an amazing job. See you later," he added and disappeared.
I collapsed to the nearest chair.
"Don't be too angry at Jimin but you shouldn't have said that though," Jhope said and passed me the bottle of water.
"Can you show me that dance cover that they made?" I asked after taking a sip of a cold drink.
She was great, she did great...every move was on point and her eyes on the camera were just captivating. It seemed like she was perfectly fine - did I mistook the sound of her voice when we talked? She always seemed sad, her big and loving eyes were always teary... Did she lie to me or to the world?
Our first concert in Berlin was amazing. I enjoyed it despite the heavy heart. Whenever I performed, I tried my best to keep personal stuff and feelings away. I had to give my 100% while performing.
*
"Jungkook," I was just lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, when I heard a tiny voice coming behind the doors of a hotel room.
"Jimin hyung?" my voice wavered. I was pretty pissed at myself for saying those terrible words to him, but my ego overpowered me sometimes (many times).
"Let me in," he demanded and cleared his throat.
I jumped to the doors and opened them.
"Listen Hyung, I'm sorry about what I've said, I was just so angry and lately I'm very bad at controlling my emotions," I apologised.
"I'm sorry too, but I want you to know that you should really consider your behaviour towards Lisa. Rosé told me that Bobby escorted her to their dorm, the other day, and told them to take care of her because she seemed genuinely hurt. He also said that he's on your side for wanting to achieve as much as possible but at the same time he suggests that you let her go if you are going to keep hurting her,"Jimin said, his eyes were full of worry.
I clenched my fists.
"She's been meeting another man and crying on his shoulder behind my back? Wow, I didn't expect her to give up on us that quickly. I was never too convinced in her friendship with Bobby. Even if she doesn't seem to be interested in him, he surely has some affections towards her...," the words kept coming out of me. I was furious.
"Jungkook, what, on this planet Earth, are you saying? Do you have a fucking nerve left in your body? That girl loves you, only you! Bobby is her friend, in his eyes she's just a loving dongseng. I can't believe you...if you keep being like this...," Jimin couldn't believe what I was saying and believe me, I didn't know myself what was up with me.
"I don't know, hyung! I don't know anymore. My emotions keep changing every two seconds, it feels like I have multiple personalities! I'm frustrated and angry and sad...Again I said the things I didn't mean to. I know that Bobby is just her friend but a thought of her being with someone else, opening up to them and crying because of me...it makes me lose my mind. I miss her terribly and at the same time I don't know if she's ever going to forgive me. I haven't talked to her for days!" I teared up and I rarely did so, but this time the bottled emotions became too much for me to handle.
"Then call her, Jungkook, tell her that you are sorry, tell her that you love her," Jimin suggested and patted my back.
"No, hyung. I'll try to talk to her when we are back in Korea. I can't stand those phone calls anymore," I said and stood up.
"I'm going to do a vlive now."
"You're amazing."
Jimin looked at me like I was some lunatic and I couldn't blame him for that. I tried to hide my feelings as much as I could because I knew that even one wrong move could make our fans suspect that something is off with me. I admit that I got confused at times, trying to come up with something funny but it was because I thought of her the whole time.
Will she watch? What will she say when she sees it and gets reminded that I haven't texted her back?
The next day in Berlin and the two after that in Paris were a success just like all the previous.
With the last bow, it was official that we finished our Word Tour for the USA and Europe. It was so overwhelming to be able to visit all those cities, to fill up all those places and meet our fans that cared for us so dearly. But, as you might have already heard, the "funny" feeling was that after the concert when we are left in the silence of the hotel room and with the emptiness in our hearts.
But at least I will be able to see her soon.
*
"Where are you going, Kookie?" Namjoon asked me with a raised eyebrow.
"To Lisa, obviously," Hobi said and rolled his eyes before sending me one of his big smiles.
"Oh,but we just came back," Namjoon continued and would probably say more if Taehyung didn't cut in saying: "Kook, go already!"
I stormed out of the dorm as fast as I could, driving straight to her dorm,but when I reached it, she wasn't there. Actually, there was no one home...could she be at the company?
Normally I would just wait or come back later but I couldn't wait any longer, so I decided to risk it all and go to her company.
I parked a few streets away and tried to hide my face as much as possible. I was thinking of texting her first, when I suddenly heard her voice:"Thank you, Hanbin Oppa! I really appreciate it! I also hope that you win that Songwriter of the Year award at MMA this year. "
They would probably continue talking if she didn't spot my figure. Her eyes widened in shock.
"Hey, Lisa," I said cowardly and waved at her.
"Hey, Lisa? Hey, Lisa?"it wasn't Lisa who was speaking. No, it was Hanbin.
"How dare you greet her that stupidly, Jungkook ssi?" his harsh words surprised me. We weren't friends and I didn't know why he was attacking me all of a sudden. Did she tell him about our "situation"?
We were about the same height so I looked straight into his eyes that were only a few inches from me now. He swore that the guy was letting smoke out of his nose - he was furious and I could feel his piercing gaze.
"Hanbin ssi? Why are you...?" I was a bit dumbfounded nevertheless.
"Listen to me very well, Jungkook ssi. This girl here didn't deserve all the bullshit you are trying to sell her! How dare you come here and wave at her like you weren't away for months having a blast on your tour while she was waiting for you? You should beg on you fucking knees for her forgiveness. And if I were her, I would never forgive someone like you."
I blinked very fast. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"I will leave the two of you know because I believe that you should talk it out, but be aware, if you hurt her once again, I won't hold back," he said at least and started to walk away.
"But why do you care so much, Hanbin ssi? Do you by any chance like my girlfriend?" I finally spoke.
Who did he think he was?
"Have you heard of YG's family? Well, that's us... We are family and families protect each other...I knew Lisa way before you got to know her and I treat her like my friend, so I will always have her back," he turned around to answer me and then disappeared into the night.
He has her back? I was supposed to say that, not him!
"So, Jungkook, do you still have my back?" she spoke. Her voice was cold but her eyes were even colder.
What have I done?
---------—-----
Here's an update! Jungkookie seems to have hurt Lisa a lot. Will she forgive him again this time? Are you satisfied with the support of her friends? And what about Jungkook? Can you understand him? Thank you all for reading and voting. <3