Freya shouldn't even be here.
It wasn't a training day and the dance class had already been over for several hours. And yet she was on this floor doing pirouettes. She could feel every member of her body crying for liberation.
Unfortunately she was unable to offer them this respite.
Pain was the only thing that kept her going right now.
It was the only point she could focus on.
So she ignored her weak ankles as she continued to perform her sequence.
Everything was good for forgetting the last days.
*****************
"Thanks, Pablo."Thanked Freya in a monotonous voice as she got out of the sedan before slamming the door.
She ignored the pain down her body as she walked up the stairs to the porch of the mansion. She readjusted the strap of her sports bag over her shoulder before entering. She went to the kitchen to get an energy drink to keep running.
To be honest, that was all she had done on her weekend. She returned only to drink energy drinks before returning to training. Either it was dancing or she was running. Any way was good to keep her away from home and especially from her father.
She hadn't spoken with a family member since the famous opening night for the new guy. She was still far too afraid of what Sandvik could say about Valerio. She had already ruined their chance to get back together. She couldn't bear another damn request from her father.
She had more than enough to live by the commandments of a man who barely knew how to show his love for her.
The family situation of Lu and Valerio had finally made her think.
If Lucrecia seemed genuinely hurt by her father's choice, Freya was not as sure that she would feel the same if she were in the same situation.
The truth was that her relationship with her father died the day she almost lost Luís. Since then she had never really been able to recognize him as the man she had learned to sincerely love. And then it all got worse after that.
Their coming to Las Encinas had awakened Freya.
Her father might not be able to see it but she had already changed enormously since their arrival.
She was no longer the same docile little girl.
She wasted no time in pausing at the sight of her little family gathered around the large table.
The famous Sunday brunch.
She had totally forgotten.
She swallowed as she continued on her way ignoring the looks on her back. She removed the strap from her bag to place it at the feet of the counter before retrieving a glass from one of the cupboards. She took a plate, cutlery before heading to the table, continuing to ignore the insistent looks focused on her.
However, it was not long before she made eye contact with her father.
She could see Sandvik watching her carefully over his cup of coffee.
She raised her chin pretentiously as she continued to hold his gaze before settling in the chair right in front of his. She saw Luís crack a little smirk as he took another bite of his scrambled eggs.
However, she looked back at her father as she took the jug of orange juice before pouring herself a drink.
"I thought you were still sleeping."Carmen wondered, looking worriedly between her husband and stepdaughter as she could feel the tension rising in the center of the table.
Freya hummed as she swallowed her mouthful of juice before placing her glass on the table."I was in the studio. I needed to train."
Sandvik immediately left a scoff as he took his eyes off his daughter to watch his journal."At least she's still trying to secure her future."
"Well that's what you want from me, right?" Freya replied immediately as she took her cutlery to cut her sausages.
Sandvik immediately clenched his jaw to her tone before looking up at his daughter acting casually. He watched her closely for a moment before resting his journal dryly on the table.
The sound of porcelain against cedar wood suddenly startled the entire Bjørkaas family.
Freya swallowed as she looked up from her plate to face her father's intimidating look."What I expect from my children is that they obey me and don't use that kind of tone with me."
Freya held back a deep sigh as she set her place settings on the edge of her plate under the anxious looks of her brother and stepmother before turning her eyes back to her father. She pushed her chair out of the table clearly unable to bear his presence any longer. She had come to this point.
"Who told you you could get out of the table?" Sandvik warns dryly.
Freya paused as she looked up from the ceiling before turning her head sharply to her father."I was planning to go to the bathroom afterwards. Do I have to ask you that too?"
Luís immediately left a snort before quickly lowering his head at the sensation of their father's gaze.
"Freya, you're going too far."Carmen warns in an attempt to ease tensions.
"No. He's going too far! Freya suddenly exclaimed as she pointed to her father. "He took everything from me. All my childhood ! During all these years, I didn't stop doing what he wanted. I've always done everything to be the perfect little girl. Absolutely everything. And now what? He also wants to control the friends I hang out with? The boys I hang out with? "
Sandvik left an icy chuckle in the making."So that's why. All this little show is for this boy. Valerio was it?"
"It's not about him. It's about me! Me, your daughter!" Freya yelled."I always did what you wanted. You wanted to train me in a ballerina dancer so I did. You wanted me to be a model student and I did. Everything you asked me I always did. But it's never enough, huh?"
"Freya, honey--"
"What do you want from me?" Freya abruptly interrupted her stepmother as she supported her father's gaze.
"I want you to shup up!" Suddenly exploded Sandvik as he suddenly punched his fist on the table forcing Freya to sit down in spite of herself in fear." You hear me ? I wouldn't let my children speak to me like this. You're nothing but grateful."
"We're children. kids ain't supposed to be grateful. We're supposed to grow up and make mistakes. We're supposed to rely on our parents. Knowing that they love us and that no matter what we choose they will be there to support us."Freya screamed in indignation."But it never crossed your mind, right? All that mattered was your reputation and your perfect puppets. You control Carmen, you control Luís and you control me!"
"I am shaping you in someone! It's my role as a father!"Barked Sandvik as he walked around the table to stand up to his daughter before yelling at her in the face."But you don't want that. Are you trying to make me understand? You want to be an ordinary girl."
Luís stood up in concern before giving a look at Carmen."Mom, said something."
"You're not a father, you're a fucking drill sergeant!" Freya objected, stepping back as she could feel the tears rushing behind her eyes."You were never there to listen to us. You were always there to give us orders. Do you remember the first thing you told me when we met? Don't Cry. You must be strong. You have to live up to this family. You must be a fucking puppet! Well you know what? I'm so fucking done!"
She suddenly passed her father to retrieve her sports bag before rushing up the stairs. She stormed into her room before rushing to her dresser. She opened the drawers on the fly in anger before letting go of her sports bag. She knelt to open it before getting up to get all of her things in a hurry.
She threw jeans, T-shirts in her bag without bothering to look at what she was choosing before rushing to her vanity to retrieve her makeup and toiletries.
"Freya what are you doing?" Luís suddenly exclaimed in horror at the sight before him before suddenly calling his mother.
Freya ignored her stepmother as she stepped in after her brother just to gasp into realization."Freya, what are you doing?"
"My mother should never have sent me to this family." Freya replied dryly as she closed the zipper in her bag before slipping on the strap.
She made her way between the duo who was still in shock before rushing down the stairs four by four in a burst of impulsiveness. She was no longer thinking at this point. She just acted.
All this had become far too much for her.
She ignored the tears of anger running down her cheeks as she jumped the last step before rushing to the door just to pause suddenly at the sight of Sandvik blocking her way.
She tightened her grip on the strap of her bag as she clenched her jaw before looking at him through her vision blurred by tears."Let me go."
"To go where, huh? Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
For the first time in her life, Freya saw a surge of emotion on his expressionless face.
However, it was too late.
Freya tried to push him out of her way only she was soon struggling as he suddenly took her in his arms."Let go of me. Let me go! I hate you ! I hate you ! You should have died instead of mom!"
"Freya, stop! Freya! You will end up hurting yourself!" Sandvik yelled over her screams as he tried to subdue his daughter who was visibly having a tantrum."Freya!"
"Oh my God !" Exclaimed Carmen with tears running down her cheeks as she attended the scene, just as helpless as her son.
Freya's screams and the sight of the brunette trying to fight tooth and nail against their father was a sight that Luís would remember forever. He could feel his heart tearing in his chest as he watched their father holding his sister against him with tears on the brim of his eyes. He had an expression almost as annihilated as that of Carmen.
Soon enough, Freya felt her energy leave her body as the emotions soon took over. She let a sob leave her lips as she fell to the ground leaving Sandvik to sit with her to try to appease her. He stroked her hair with tears down his eyes as he cradled his daughter in tears against him.
"I--I hate you." Freya said against him in a sob.
"Yeah, I know." Sandvik murmured, suppressing a tremor as he kissed his daughter's temple before looking up to look at his wife and son's gaze in guilt."I know, I know."
*****************
Luís gave an anxious look at his sister's sleeping figure before swallowing as he turned around, closing the door. He descended the stairs still shocked from the altercation of earlier before venturing into the kitchen just to see their father hunching on the table with a whiskey tumbler in hand.
Her mother locked herself in her room after putting Freya to bed. She was unable to handle the situation clearly after what she had witnessed. She probably felt as guilty as their father right now.
Luís took a deep breath as he watched his father before walking towards him to take the glass from his hand."Drinking will not erase what you did."
Sanvik immediately raised his head clearly depressed simply to leave a snort at the sight of his son swallowing the whiskey in his place. He shook his head before falling back against the back of his chair, rubbing his forehead in exhaustion."I did eally miss everything with you and your sister, huh?"
"Uh, joker?" Luís asked immediately in an attempt to avoid answering before grimacing at the sight of their father's weary look. He let out a deep sigh before sitting on the chair closest to Sandvik."Well you won't win the best father of the year award for sure."
Sandvik glared at his son tactlessly before taking the empty tumbler from his hand to refill it. He swallowed the amber liquid in one go before setting the glass down to refill it.
He brought it to his lips before pausing as he looked at his son. He wrinkled his lips as he put the glass back on the table before sliding it towards him. Luís smirked as he took the offered glass before sipping the expensive alcohol with appreciation.
"This is probably the first time that you and I have shared something."He said giving a frustrated look at his son."The first time we've had a real conversation since ..."
Luís looked sharply at his father."Since ? Come on, you can say it. It's not by refusing to admit that it has happened that it will change anything."
Sandvik looked away at his son's provocation before swallowing as he glanced up at the ceiling.
He shook his head knowing that he had really screwed up this time.
"My own children hate me."He sighed in defeat.
Luís took his sip before wincing."Well hating is a big word you know. It's more like deep resentment."
"Are you trying to get deeper?" Sandvik replied, raising his eyebrows.
"Right, sorry. Old habits die hard."Luís replied, tilting his head before giving an empathetic look to their father."What are you planning to do now? Are you going to resume your role as master sergeant, trying to ignore the situation?"
Sanvik observed a point in the distance in thought before supporting his head as he looked sideways at his son."Your sister and I are going to need to have a conversation."
"Mhm, good luck with that."Hummed Luís before giving his father a broad look."What? I am only honest."
"Don't push it."
*****************
The next time Freya came to, she suddenly felt emotionless.
It was as if she had completely freed herself from everything that weighed on her shoulders.
She watched her ceiling with an indescribable look as she could feel the shame and embarrassment take over. She knew she had nothing to feel ashamed of.
However it was stronger than her.
This kind of display of raw emotion was not for her.
She hated this kind of show.
She licked her chapped lips before clearing her throat at the feel of her fragile vocals. She could still feels the wet traces along her cheeks. She sniffed at the sensation before finally letting out a deep sigh as she pulled her duvet down to get up.
She ignored the pain in her limbs and in her chest as she made her way to the bathroom.
However, it was not long before she paused as she saw her now empty sports bag on the floor.
She immediately glanced at her dresser just to see the drawers back in their place.
A bitter taste resurfaced down her mouth as she thought back to her act of impulsiveness.
She shook her head at the thought before turning her attention back to the bathroom. She headed for the shower before turning the valves. She ran her hand under the cold water before she started to undress. She didn't even wait for the water to reach room temperature to enter.
Instead she bit hard on her lower lip as she felt the icy water entering her skin. The feeling on her aching muscles was like a blessing to her.
It was like she could think clearly again.
She leaned on the tiled wall with one hand before feeling the water heat up again. She raised her head to take full advantage of the water jets all over her body before taking her body gel.
She took special care in massaging each part of her body.
If she used to stay as short as possible in the shower, Freya did the opposite this time.
She waited until the hot water went cold again before finally turning the valves. She let a new tense breath leave her lips before getting out of the shower. She wrapped a fluffy towel around her wet body before turning her hair to wring it out.
She threw them behind her before going to the sink just to meet her pathetic reflection through the mirror. She swallowed at the sight of the amorphous expression sending back to her. She clenched her jaw at the sight before running her hand over the mirror to clear her reflection.
She shook her head as she returned to her room before pulling out a comfortable set of clothes.
She just needed to feel free.
She donned simple Adidas leggings with a hooded sweat before sitting in her vanity. She brushed her long curls with her brush before using the hair dryer to remove sticky moisture from her skin. Once her hair was smooth, she gathered it in a high ponytail above her head before giving a new look to her livid expression.
Deciding to regain control, Freya applied a light coat of foundation before adding a little highlighter to her cheekbones. She continued her usual makeup routine, finishing with her eyebrows before giving a final final look at the result. At least she seemed a little more sane.
If she was honest with herself, Freya didn't regret an ounce of the argument with her father.
For once in her life, she finally confessed everything. Everything she kept inside had finally been released.
The only one she might regret was the way she reacted afterwards. She knew she had acted stupidly. She had absolutely no place to take refuge. Not to mention that she had a horrible life under her father's control but she had probably exaggerated things in anger.
Her father had not only asked her to keep a facade when they first met. He also hugged her, whispering in her ear that he was genuinely happy to finally meet his daughter.
The orders arrived just after.
She knew that this simple act of affection didn't justify everything, but she could not put it below ground either. He was still her father and in a somewhat faltering sort of her personality, Freya loved him.
She looked down at her manicured hands at the thought before suddenly jumping at the knock on the door.
She immediately frowned as she looked at her door through her mirror."Yeah? Who's this ?"
"It's ... uh ... it's me." Sandvik said, clumsily clearing his throat."Can I come in?"
Freya's eyes widened as she could feel her heart speeding up in her chest before suddenly getting up from her chair in anxiety. She nibbled nervously on the thumbnail before giving a hesitant new look at the door.
"Freya?" Sandvik called again in nervousness at the sound of her silence."I'm not going to come in if you don't want to. I understand. You hate me. I probably deserve it. I was never really prepared to be a father. To be honest, I never wanted to have children. I always knew that I would end up destroying them. My father always told me that I was a failure and that I would probably be with my children. Looks like he was right."
Freya felt a ball of emotion wedge down her throat as she listened with empathy to her father's secrets. It was the first time he confided in his own childhood. He was such a secret, mysterious man, even for his own family. And yet Freya could hear the sincerity in his voice.
If there was one praiseworthy thing about her father, it was that he was not lying.
He didn't think he needed it.
She stopped outside her door, peeping at the handle in hesitation before letting a trembling breath pass her lips. She pressed her forehead against the door, letting Sandvik realize how close she was.
He took a shaky breath as he put his hand against the door."You're here, right? You hear me. I want you to know that I love you. You and your brother are my children. And I love you. I love you more than anything in the world."
Freya brought her fist to her lips to silence her sobs of emotion suddenly settling down her chest. It was the first time in years that she had heard her father say these words to her.
After all these years she would have thought she felt empty when she heard these words but it was anything but.
"I hope one day you can forgive me."