"Just stop... your cryin... it's a sign of the times.." I sing as softly as I can at the piano, plunking out notes as I sing. Mitch, Harry, and Jeff are all bickering back and forth behind me while people circulate through the room.
We're supposed to be writing, and working right now, but Harry, Mitch, and Jeffrey can't seem to come to a decision on whether some song called Medicine should be put on the album or not. I've never heard it, but personally I think right now we should finish writing the songs, and then decide which ones are actually going to be on the album..
"Just stop your cryin it'll be alright... We can meet again somewhere... Somewhere far away from here." I sing to myself, the happiness I'm feeling immense inside.. It is a sign of the times... It is time to stop crying, and move forward... It is-
"Well how about we do what Harry says." Harry speaks out in third person.
"What Harry says is stupid, and pointless." Mitch points out, and I smirk, as my fingers move back and forth on the piano.
"No offense Mitch but shut up." Harry barks back.
"Why don't all three of you shut up, and listen to what Cherry's playing right now because that's a song that could actually be on the album.." Sarah walks fully into the room now, sitting down next to Mitch, and I freeze, all eyes on me now.
"Oh I was just... I was just messing around, it's not... uhmmm." I look back to the piano. "I don't really have anything written but a few words, it just kinda came in my brain, and I sang it." I shrug.
"Well what is it so far?" Harry asks, and I turn back to the keys. F chord... D minor chord.... C chord......
"Just stop your crying it's a sign of the times... Um, remember everything will be alright.." I sing lightly, and keep the chords playing for a second before stopping, and turning over my shoulder. "I was just playing around, you can continue your... conversation." I shrug, and Harry shakes his head.
"Start over, start over with the same chords.." He tells me, and I look to my journal. He grabs it for me, and takes my pen too, writing chords for me as I play, but he sings this time, not me. "Just stop your crying it's a sign of the times... Welcome to the final show... I hope you're wearing your best clothes..." He sings, and his voice is beautiful, almost haunting right now with the way it sounds...
"You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky... You look pretty good down here, but you ain't really good." I sing out, interrupting his words, but he writes it down. He looks at me as he picks the song up again, singing out lyrics.
"We never learn we've been here before. Why are we always fuckin running from... the bullets? Your bullets...." He sings in a falsetto, and I listen to the pretty sound, hearing Mitch join in with his guitar following the chords I play.
"We never learn we've been here before... Why are we always fuckin running from the bullets... Your bullets?" I harmonize with him, adding another layer to the beauty of this piece. Right as Mitch slows I build the piano, feeling the music under my fingers, keeping the chords going strong, feeling it in my chest as I do.
"Just stop your crying it's a sign of the times.. We gotta get away from here... We gotta get away from here." I sing out louder this time, more heavy.
"Just stop your crying it will be alright... They told me that the end was near.. We gotta get away from here.." Harry finishes out the chorus, and I smile, my fingers staying still now.
"That was... Well that was fucking awesome." Sarah speaks out.
"Are you going to put that one on the album, or are you going to pretend it's not a good song just like medicine?" Jeffrey asks, and Harry rolls his eyes.
"Cherry could you keep going?" He asks me sweetly, ignoring Jeffrey, and I nod, picking up the chords again.
"Just stop your crying have the time of your life..." His voice is desperate as he sings. He stands from his seat behind me, and walks to the piano, standing over the edge of it, looking down on me.
"Breaking through the atmosphere, things looks pretty good from here." I look up at him as I sing, smiling as I do, and he smiles back.
"Remember everything will be alright." He sings, writing the words, and I stare at the keys now.
"We can meet again somewhere.. Somewhere far away from here.." I sing, and then start the pre chorus again, building it up to the chorus that Harry takes over singing now. We sing through it once more before I stop, and take my journal from his hands, turning back to everyone.
"I think... I think it could be really good if at the end the music builds, and builds more, and more, and just gets bigger.. It'll sound almost heavenly with all the instruments, and we can layer voices on top too.." I tell them, and watch for response.
"I want a choir." Harry speaks out, and I write his words as little bullet points, adding them on the list of things we could do along with mine.
"You just wrote that in literally six minutes." Sarah speaks to me, and looks to Harry, going between us.
"We make a good team." He smirks, pointing to me, and I smile. There have been cameras on me, on all of us for the experience, but it's mainly on him, and what he's doing so that's good on my part. One of the people I hadn't known before that I know now is Jeff Bhasker. He's a producer, he's hilarious too. He's helped with a lot of creative aspects with the sound of the songs.
He's been in and out today, adding parts, altering sounds for songs we've written previously. Harry seems really comfortable around him.. He seems really happy, and comfortable around all of us honestly, and it's refreshing. When I first met him he seemed so to himself, but right now it's like he doesn't want to be that way.
"Alright you've worked enough today." Jeffrey pats Harry's back, but he looks at me too. Sarah and Mitch get up, going off together, and I watch as Jeff starts to leave the living room too.
"Alright I'm going to grab a shower.." I tell him, and he nods letting me walk off. I go into my room, stripping down, and showering, putting on actual clothes, not just an oversized shirt this time. When I reemerge I spot Harry on the back deck, a towel around his waist, his guitar in his hands. I'm not sure if he showered or went to the ocean, but whatever it is, he looks perfect... so peaceful right now. I watch him, walking out on the back deck, and he doesn't notice at first.
"Feeling good?" I ask quietly, and he looks over, his attention hitting me. He instantly smiles, and I walk forward.
"Yeah... I- I feel really good..." He tells me, continuing the strumming pattern. You don't just feel good, you look good too... I sit down at the table, and he watches me as I do. "What about you? S'not all about me." He jokes, and I smile.
"There's no reason to feel anything but good." I tell him, and he smiles, but there's still a question in my mind... We kissed, and nothing else has been said about it. No kisses have happened since... What does it mean? It's not awkward between us, it's not hard to be around each other now that we have taken a new step in the relationship, but that doesn't mean I'm not questioning my entire existence right now. Does Mitch know? Does Jeffrey know? Has he told anyone? Has he completely forgotten about it?
"So why do you look like you're overthinking?" He asks me, and I look up to him out of thought.
"You know me... You already know I'm overthinking about everything right now.." I laugh, knowing how true my words are. He plays to the sound of the waves.. I don't know how it's even possible but he does it, and I love listening to it. I love it because that's the sight into his mind, what's happening up there. The soft sound of strumming or the low hums that come from his lips. The sway of his body, and the weight of his fingers on the strings beneath them... it's all in tune with what's happening in his mind.. Right now he's at peace.. He's happy.
"We met each other a month ago." He tells me, and it's odd hearing the words.
"Only a month?"
"Only a month." He repeats my words, and I take them in. It feels like so much longer.. So much more time spent. How was it only a month? And how did I feel this way about him so quickly? Just a month, and it feels like I've known him for at least half a year... "I'm still trying to figure out how I got like this with you in just over a month.." He speaks mindlessly as he looks out. "I'm glad I did... I just.. I've never felt that before." He admits, and though his words are honest I'm still not clear on how he intends me to take them.
"Feels like I've known you a lot longer than a month..." I tell him, and he smiles.
"It does feel like that doesn't it?" He asks, and I nod, listening to his guitar. "You look very pretty right now..." He breaks the silence with that compliment, and my cheeks burn red. He's complimented me before. I've heard him say kind things about me, but this was so forward.. It wasn't hidden in his sentences, it was right on the front line, and it made my stomach drop.
"Thank you." I smile softly, knowing that this is probably his favorite... He's surrounded by the glamorous lifestyle.. Models, and celebrities, but I'm not one of those things. You get what you see with me, and right now he's seeing a fresh faced girl in a vintage tshirt.
"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" He asks me, and I shrug my shoulders.
"Some ideas have been keeping my mind busy... I'll write em out, and go from there." I tell him, and he smiles.
"There's always something going on up there isn't there?" He asks, and I nod.
"It's a blessing and a curse... I'll be inside if you need me." I smile, and walk away wanting to groan out. It's normal, there's nothing different, and maybe that's why I'm panicking... Maybe it didn't mean as much to him? Maybe it was just another kiss? Maybe I'm being overly dramatic and annoying... Should I ask him? Should I just follow his lead, and act normal? I don't know... I know nothing at all. I shut the door of my bedroom, and throw myself on the bed. It's gonna be all good.
"Cherry?" I hear a knock on my door.
"What's up Mitch?" I ask through the door, knowing I haven't gone outside of this room since I walked into it.
"We were all going to hangout on the deck, thought I'd invite you out." He mumbles, and I get up, and open the door, seeing him there. I walk with him, and we head back out on the porch, and everyone is here but one person is missing. I do another quick scan, and don't see him, but I don't say anything, not wanting to sound desperate. I stick with Mitch, walking to the group of people, everyone getting drinks from a cooler. Jeffrey is at one of the tables mixing drinks, having a good time, and I feel like that's just like Jeffrey. He seems like he's the life in a room, someone who takes care of people in any way that he can.
"Want a drink?" Jeffrey asks me, and I shake my head.
"I'm alright, not much of a drinker." I smile, and he passes the drink off.
"I know exactly what she's down for though." Mitch mumbles, and he passes me a joint. I give him the side eye, and take it in my fingers, hitting it, feeling the soft burn in my throat. I stay standing as people move around me, everyone having a good time, but still no Harry.
"He kinda does this sometimes." Mitch mumbles, and I look up to him.
"Who?" I ask, and Sarah smiles.
"You're looking for Harry aren't you?" She asks, and I shrug.
"Oh.. Um, I just didn't know where he was.." I shrug, and Mitch nods.
"Like I told you before... He's a lot more like us than you'd think." He tells me, and I realize he probably is spending some time alone.
"Where did you grow up?" Sarah starts asking, and I haven't had the chance to talk to her so already I'm happy to talk.
"Near Vegas... I moved to California almost four years ago though." I tell her, and she nods.
"How did you get involved here?" She asks.
"It was kind of a fluke actually.. I was in the studio writing, and I stayed a little bit too late. Harry walked in for his studio time, and then through that he heard a song I had been writing, and then we ran into each other again, and he asked if I'd want to join all of you guys, and now I'm in Jamaica." I shrug my shoulders, and she smiles. "He said you were a drummer?" I ask, and she nods.
"I am yeah.. I was in band in high school.. A drum major, but I played in bands here, and there. I started doing studio music, and that's how I met Harry." She tells me, and I've never heard her play but as a studio musician I can only imagine how good she is.
"Hey man! Where were you?" We all turn our attention, and see Jeff looking to the bridge that leads to the beach. I spot Harry in the dark, wearing jeans, and an open Hawaiian shirt.
"What?" He asks, laughter in his voice.
"Where have you been?" He asks again, and Harry shrugs.
"Who the hell knows?" He laughs, and presses up on the bridge, jumping back into the water. I smile, knowing how free he feels right now.
After a few more hits, and a bit more time standing behind others, listening to conversation I find myself moving to one of the chairs on the sand, still hearing the chatter from behind me, but now feeling the effects of the smoke in my veins. Still just a fresh faced girl in a vintage tshirt.. But I'm high now so it makes it better. I look up to the stars, feeling light and happy that I can actually see them, unlike California sky.
"Am I interrupting something?" I turn my head to the voice, and melt into a happy smile.
"Nope.. better you showed up now I think I was about to start questioning if this is all a simulation, and I'm just a glitch in the system." I joke, and he walks towards me. He's changed now, shorts and a tshirt.
"What are you smoking?" He jokes, and I laugh to myself.
"Whatever Mitch has." I reply even though I know he wasn't being literal. He sits on the table in front of me, and I sit up, leaning on my elbows, so many questions running through my mind, but nothing coming from my lips.
"Are you alright? You've been quiet today.." He urges on, his eyebrows furrowing as he looks at me.
"I'm always quiet... What's your excuse Harry Styles?" I ask, and he shakes his head.
"Always quiet around others, but never quiet around me..." He points out, and I shrug.
"Maybe this is just who I am.." I shrug, and he shakes his head.
"I don't think... I don't think either of us know who we are Darling..If I'm being honest." He mumbles, and I press my lips together.
"What do you mean?" I ask, and he shrugs.
"I think right now both of us are in this weird process of trying to figure out where to go next... Trying to see what feels right.. Through that, and all these songs we're trying to see who we are based off of who we want to be." He explains.
"Well you seemed to know who you were when you were in the band.. Would you ever go back to that?" I ask, and he shakes his head.
"No... As of right now no...I was genuine.. Authentic, but I was under so much pressure.. It was good pressure, but.. But it was still pressure. I don't know who I am but I know I'm not ever going back..." He tells me, and I nod my head, understanding what he means.
"Well you didn't really have that chance that everyone else did to figure out who you were.." I tell him, and he nods. "When did you get put into the band?" I ask, making sure my facts are straight.
"I was sixteen.." He tells me, and I nod. "You step into the spotlight and it's so bright.. S'almost like you can't see where you're going, or what you're doing.. You're just counting on other people to guide you... But like I said before.. M'never going back to how it was before." He tells me, and it's interesting hearing this side of him... I'll never know what it's like, but I can hear what it's like.
"So you could have stayed... but you didn't want to? With the band I mean.." I mumble, and he shakes his head.
"I wouldn't put it like that... It's kind of like I want to apologize to the fans, and the boys, and management for the way things are.. All of us doing our solo endeavors but I feel so much better right now... I feel free right now.. It'd be sweet if things could've stayed the same.. But I don't think any of us could see it that way." He tells me, and I didn't know much about the band or the other boys but I can only imagine how tough it was.
"The spotlight is somewhere I don't think I could ever be... I don't think I'd be able to handle it." I tell him truthfully, and he shakes his head, looking down.
"All the bright lights, and the fame but they can't take away the bad things.. All the sadness you feel in your heart, and the heartache that comes with that kind of stuff... It's like the lights come up, and everyone knows who you are, or they think they do..."
"But you have to keep asking yourself 'do you know who you are'... at least that's what I'd assume." I tell him, and he nods.
"I asked myself that too many times Cherry.. Way too many times." He tells me truthfully.
"So who are you?" I ask, and he shakes his head.
"Who the hell knows?" He smiles, and clasps his hands together in front of him, keeping that smile on his lips. Seems like he's worrying about something right now. I'm not sure what it is, but he'll tell me.. Eventually. "Do you like Jamaica?" He asks me, and I smile instantly.
"I've made a lot of memories already.. Sarah is great.. I love Mitch, and spending time with you is.. Well it's constant, but I really love that too." I nod my head. "I just feel like I don't have to worry here... Not as much at least." I smile up to him, and he leans forward.
"Sing me what you wrote today..." He mumbles, and I panic. "How do you still get nervous around me? Singing, and playing and stuff?" He laughs out, and I shake my head.
"I'm not used to people asking me to sing.. Doesn't matter who it is.. I don't.. I don't know if you should-"
"Darling Cherry Summers do not go shy on me now." He laughs, and I shake my head.
"It's.. It's not my voice, it's the words." I admit.
"Why would you be afraid of that... Is.. is it about him?" He asks, and I nod, and he hardly shows it but I still see his face fall.
"It's not... It's not a good thing.. It's more so the fact that I'm ready for him to be gone from my mind... That he will be." I tell him, and he pushes my knee, letting his fingers linger a bit.
"I wanna hear it.." He mumbles, and I lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.
"When I've got a piano you can hear it... But for now it's time for me to go to bed..." I mumble and stand up, walking towards the house.
"I can't wait..." He speaks softly, and my chest is tight, but warm. I really really like him, and I really really don't know what the hell to do about it. "Hey Cherry..." I turn back around, tucking my hair behind my ear as I look at him.
"Hey.." I smile.
"What's your favorite color today?" He asks, and I almost forgot.. I almost forgot he hadn't asked me all day. I give him a look, up, and down, a smirk on my lips too.
"Light pink..." I smirk, and his head tilts as his grin grows.
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Song: Sign Of The Times by Harry Styles.
THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE!!! THERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER AT THIS SOOO ENJOY!
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