I avoided him for the rest of the day. I changed my normal routes to class and took new ones to avoid running into anyone that was present for my screaming match with Ross. I haven't talked to him like that since our break-up five months ago. After the sixth period, I decided to stop by the bathroom to try to control my breathing. My eyes kept watering and threaten to pour out any moment. The last thing I wanted was to cry at school.
What was I going to say if my emotions took over? Am I still hurt over what happened?
The warning bell for the last period rang. I couldn't stay, I wanted to go home and lay in bed where I can cry in peace if it comes to that.
Skipping class can't hurt.
I washed my hands and stepped back into the hallway. It was mostly empty except for a few that were rushing to their classes. I start heading towards the exit near the library where I'm sure no teacher or security guard is by it. I'm about to push the handle when I hear Marcel behind me.
"You shouldn't leave without telling someone."
I jump and turn around, he's standing a few feet away, pressed up by a wall with a giant smile on his face. My heartbeat starts to get faster as he gets closer.
"Done for the day?"
BumBumBum BumBumBum
My chest starts to feel a dull pain like something is squeezing me tight.
"Yeah, I'm not feeling too well all of a sudden so I want to lay in bed. I'll see you around?"
I turn around and push the door, letting the breeze hit me and relax my heartbeat.
"Something's wrong, what is it?" Marcel follows me out the door to the parking lot where other students are rushing to not get caught.
"Marcel, you're gonna get in trouble if they see you walking around. I'll see you later."
Suddenly, my arm is met with a strong hand and I'm spun to look at Marcel's vivid eyes. His thick frames hide most of it but up close, they were a green that you didn't want to look away or you'll miss it. I was speechless.
"Madison, you're not doing a good job of hiding your emotions, what is it?"
I debated on telling him, letting him know what happened months ago and my outburst from today but I didn't want to scare him away. We work together and the friendship is still new for any heavy stuff.
"It's a lot, I can tell you some other day."
"How about right now, over some ice cream? there's a shop a few streets over where we can sit down."
I hesitated but I do love ice cream whenever something inconvenient happened.
"Ok, I'll drive."
~~~~~
We were sitting at a small table outside the place. The sun was warm on my skin and a soft breeze passed by every few minutes. I decided on a chunky monkey sundae where Marcel got strawberry shortcake. I was filling my mouth with the sweet chocolate flavors until he tapped the table.
"Are you ready to talk about it?"
"You know, I didn't ask you, how was your day Marcel?"
"It was fine, avoiding talking about what's bothering you can lead to a bigger negative reaction towards yourself and your emotions."
I was stunned at his words but he did have a point. It's time to tell someone else the truth.
"You're right. Let's go back to a few months ago."
**
"For the longest, Ross and I were circling each other. We would always flirt with but nothing would come out of it. I was falling hard and I could tell it was the same for him. We've grown up together since we met in third grade and like every other guy/girl's best friends, we were attached to the hip."
"He finally popped the question to be his girlfriend sophomore year."
"This isn't a few months ago, but yes I do remember seeing you both around together."
"I had to give a bit of context sir. Don't rush me." Marcel chuckled and sat back in his chair. "As Lord Farquaad said, "Go on."
I giggled and continued with my story.
"He was the best boyfriend I ever had. He was sweet and made me laugh. I felt like I was myself around him and we would be together forever."
"I love weddings."
"Right like who doesn't?" We both shared another laugh. This was something serious and here we are cracking jokes about it. Not that I minded.
"Anyways, everything was great. It was us growing together but then..he started getting distant. He wouldn't reply to my messages, blow me off for other people and wouldn't talk to me like he would before. I felt like I couldn't go to him for anything. I thought maybe he was going through something and needed space."
The squeezing feeling in my chest returned. I looked up to Marcel who stared at me in deep concentration.
"Madi, if you want to cry, you can."
"No that would be too much." He reached over and placed his hand on top of mine. Flashing me a warm smile that made me feel like I was going to be ok. "It's ok, keep going."
"One night, I had a weird feeling that kept telling me to go to his house. His family and mine were close so I knew they wouldn't mind if I pop over so I did. I bought his favorite candy to cheer him up and I noticed his parents or other siblings weren't home but he was. The light in his room was on and I could see his shadow from the outside. So I knocked. And knocked and knocked until I let myself in with their 'hidden' spare. The gut feeling I had intensified by so much I thought something was wrong with me. I walked up to his room when I heard someone laughing." My voice started to waver and I felt a single teardrop slid down my cheek. No point in fighting it now.
"I kept getting closer and heard his voice with whoever that was, laughing together. I knew something was off so I said fuck it and opened his door. To see him being straddled almost naked by Marcy. Who was someone I was close with since the beginning of Junior year. It didn't hit right away, it was as my mind went into autopilot and took over for me. I remember asking what was the point. What did I do to him?"
At this point, both of my cheeks were becoming stained with tears. Marcel was right next to me, holding one of my hands with his and reaching over for a napkin. His glasses were folded on his chest and the intensity of his eyes was shining with what seemed like anger.
"I didn't bother waiting. I looked at them both and told them to enjoy their night and I ran out. He started chasing after me when I reached the bottom of the stairs and tried to talk but I slapped him. I remember crying for days and getting so many calls and texts that I blocked his number. Syd knows what happened, everyone else just assumes we fell out but not even close. And he had the nerve to talk to you like that the other day I just..lost it."
Marcel was quiet. His face was in deep concentration, holding my hand a bit tighter.
"He's a wanker."
I felt my eyes widen and started to bust out laughing, him joining me shortly.
"Marcel out of all things you could've called him. A wanker?"
"Yes, a big one too. He's nothing but a coward and you deserve better. I think you're just coming to terms with things and realized who he is."
I stayed quiet for a second, feeling the squeezing in my chest slowly leave and I could feel myself to breathe again.
"I think so too. I don't miss him, but I can't live with this anger. It's not me."
"You're right, anger doesn't suit you at all. Maybe a golden tone."
I laughed. "I'll try that out sometime..thank you for listening. I'm sorry for dumping this on you when we've just met."
He smiled at me, giving my hand a final squeeze before letting go.
"Never apologize for expressing yourself. we're friends and if we can't be honest then what are we doing at all." I felt myself smile in agreement.
"It's what friends are for right?"
We head back to my car, heading back to the school to drop him off at his car.
"Thank you again, we should hang out on a more positive tone."
He flashed a huge grin at me as he stepped out to the lot.
"We should don't drive to school or work tomorrow. Send me your address and I'll pick you up." He froze for a second and hesitated. "Um..if that's ok with you of course."
I looked at him and felt myself smile back. "It is. See you tomorrow morning." He smiled again and shut the door. I started to drive off when I look in my mirror and see Marcel fist-bumping the air.
What a goofball.
***********
A/N: Hi everyone. I am TERRIBLE with updating but this quarantine has me itching to write again. Thank you for those who been reading this and enjoying it. Stay safe and wash your hands :)