PRIVATE CONVERSATION
lizzle bizzle [lizzie]
young money [cash]
lizzle bizzle
have my eyes deceived me or did i spot a wandering spiderling outside your room last night?
young money
lizzle bizzle
AAAAAA
the fun young half of me is like
and the other non-bio big sis half of me is like
young money
non-bio big sis?
oh god not you too 🙃
lizzle bizzle
hey! the boys can't have everything on this set
me and scar gotta represent 🥰
young money
believe me i didn't exactly ask for the formation of the non-biological 'bruddahood'
it just kinda happened one day and everyday since i've lived my life in constant fear of looming embarrassment 🤷🏻♀️
lizzle bizzle
but back to you and holland
AAAAAA
young money
lizzie it's totally not a big deal!!
we've been dating each other for a while now
...and besides you can't expect me to stay in the same house as THAT and not wife him up 🥰
lizzle bizzle
btw just a quick lil reminder that he's also this
you're welcome
young money
wow lady boner died real quick
but still 🥵
pls tell me no one else knows about last night cos that's NOT a conversation i wanna have with the bruddahood
lizzle bizzle
young money
LIZZIE!!
oh my god my life is over
my DAD knows i frick fracked with TOM
lizzle bizzle
well the boy's not exactly a ninja when it comes to sneaking around 🤷🏻♀️
and was it cake he was holding? where was i when there was cake?
young money
you were in 'margarita land' with team prep
but not the priority here!!
lizzle bizzle
young money
seriously lizzie what am i gonna do?
like literally my entire family is downstairs probably waiting for me to come down so they can rip me a new one
hAlp
lizzle bizzle
well they were rehearsing a round of applause for when you guys finally come downstairs
but i say own it
you guys are totally into one another and it was bound to happen sometime 💁🏻♀️
young money
that doesn't make me feel any better
like not even one bit
my god i genuinely think i'm gonna throw up
lizzle bizzle
evans is making pancakes if that helps?
young money
the cute lil blueberry ones?😌
lizzle bizzle
affirmative
he's even made a smiley face outta the whipped cream for you
so get your cute lil toned ass down here and own it like the badass bitch you are
young money
fine
but only for the pancakes
lizzle bizzle
_______________________________
IMESSAGE GC
NON-BIO BIG BROS 💪🏼
lil sis [cash]
pratt attack [chris pratt]
thunder farts [chris hemsworth]
brother booty [chris evans]
brudda mack [anthony]
brother bucky [sebastian]
thunder farts
see cash? that wasn't awkward at all 😄
pratt attack
apart from her beet red cheeks
and holland falling into rdj
and the fact that seb was totally off beat with the synchronised clap
brother bucky
hey i was NOT off beat bro 😤
mackie kept putting me off with all those kissy faces he was making
brudda mack
thunder farts
yeah bro that wasn't a part of the plan
kinda put me off too
brudda mack
pratt attack
i think it worked though
added a certain je ne sais quoi to the clap 👨🏻🎨
brudda mack
i stan (1) chris 🥰
lil sis
is that all, pratt?
pratt attack
yeah i think so
oh wait and when evans set the fire alarm off
that was just plain funny
brother booty
hey man i made you pancakes with a whipped cream smile
lay off 😠
brudda mack
oooooOOOoooHhhhhhhh
lil sis
brother booty
can we just note that i was the only one who didn't partake in the stupid unsynchronised clap 🤗
thunder farts
take that BACK
it was TOTALLY synchronised
pratt attack
yeah take that back
we're iconic
and you're stupid
lil sis
i stan (1) chris 🥰
and just fyi i mean evans you morons
brudda mack
but you also stan (1) mackie?
lil sis
first off, you're the only mackie
and second, debatable
brudda mack
why you gon do a man like that, cash? 🥲
pratt attack
half of me is happy that young cash is in love
and the other half of me kinda wants to throw up
like all over holland's coiffed greasy hair-gelled head
brudda mack
bro we've all had that dream
brother bucky
preach
lil sis
first off pls stop talking about puke i've already had to witness hemsworth inhumanly shovel down like 2183 pancakes
second, love is a lil overreaching
brother bucky
oof and holland is CANCELLED 🤣
thunder farts
smash and DASH
and hey the pancakes were evans' idea blame him
brother booty
brudda mack
mwahahahahahahahhaha
brother booty
i think cash just means that she's just not there yet
which is totally understandable, right guys?
lil sis
again, i stan (1) chris 🥰
brother bucky
who could ever love hair gel
he's basically just a ball of grease at this point
brudda mack
i thought you had standards cash
run while you can gurl
lil sis
guYS
do you not remember our deal? no making fun of holland that's my job 🤫
thunder farts
my oh my we've raised her well
pratt attack
hey i'm being nice!!
lil sis
just please zip it!
my cheeks physically can't take getting anymore red around you idiots
brother booty
she's got a point
and holland managed to keep the party a secret
you guys need to have more faith in the kid
brudda mack
i'm still in shock
he manages to ruin EVERY movie but can somehow keep the party a secret 🤔
he's played us man big time
brother bucky
preach man
fingers crossed we don't have to do press with him again or else i think i might stick pins in my eyes
lil sis
alright well i'm bored
peace out and pls be nice
pratt attack
wow rude
thunder farts
i take it back
she's a monster
______________________________
INCOMING CALL from Junie (Publicist)
Answer?
YES NO
'hey junie, what's up?'
'hey cash, how's things?'
'they'd be a lot better if you told me what was going on?'
'well i'm actually bringing you some good news for a change! i've got a producer from the tonight show on the line who says that jimmy fallon would like to speak with you urgently'
'jimmy fallon? i mean i love jimmy but do you know what he wants?'
'they won't tell me, they're saying he wants to talk to you personally'
'well patch him through, then. i'll call you after with the deets'
'no problem, putting you through now'
'hello?'
'hey jimmy, what's up?'
'cash! just the person i wanted to talk to! first things first, how are you doing?'
'i mean i'm not doing great but i'm getting through it, but thankyou for asking i really appreciate it'
'no problem, buddy. i mean everyone here has been watching it all play out and we're just super concerned about everything that's happening with this whole situation'
'well that means a lot, give my love to the roots and the crew'
'well speaking of that, we were kinda hoping that you could swing by here and say hey yourself?'
'what do you mean? like a spot on a show next week or something? cos i get back from atlanta on monday'
'well i'm not sure if you've heard but we actually dropped dnce from the show tonight. i couldn't in good faith have them on when you're such a good friend of the show'
'jimmy! you didn't have to do that at all'
'well we wanted to. and in their place we were wondering if you could get to new york to fill their slot for tonight? we were thinking a talk segment and then a performance if you're down for that?'
'as in tonight, tonight? wow, this is pretty short notice. i mean, i'd love to but i don't really have any new music to perform or anything'
'we know it's short notice but it's all been a bit of a whirlwind here too, and we just thought the perfect message to people out there watching would be to have you on the show'
'honestly i'm flattered, but really i don't think a performance is necessary. unless you're open to an idea?'
'what did you have in mind?'
'well i don't know if you saw my last instagram post, but it would be awesome if little big town could perform on my behalf? i think that's the message we need to get out there is raising people up who deserve it'
'i love that idea! and you'll come on as a guest for a talk segment?'
'...um, yeah i can do that. i'll get my people on it and i'll be in nyc for the show tonight'
'that's awesome, dude! look i'll get the crew on finding out if the band are free and then i'll get that over to junie and the team. this is gonna be awesome, buddy!'
'well thankyou so much for thinking of me. i guess i'll see you all tonight!'
'we can't wait! see you later kiddo! safe flight'
______________________________
PRIVATE CONVERSATION
tommo [tom]
haz [harrison]
tommo
so it's decided
tonight i'm gonna ask cash 'hot stuff' downey to be my girlfriend
i'm finally doing it 😄
haz
wow
i honestly didn't think you had it in you
but YES bro 🥳
tommo
it's hard to explain but we just had the most AMAZING night
oh god i'm totally falling mate
send help
haz
first off pls leave out the details i don't need to throw up my lunch🤢
and second, of course you are you IDIOT anyone can see it
whenever you're around her you're all like
tommo
NO I'M NOT
okay maybe a little
I CAN'T HELP IT
like you said she's cash HOT STUFF downey
although maybe you shouldn't anymore considering she's gonna be MY GIRLFRIEND
haz
urgh fine
although i guess this is a good time to tell you that i'm actually gonna ask casey 'hot stuff' rimes to be MY GIRLFRIEND
ya boi is in love
tommo
oh my GOD
how could you spring this on me
haz
you aren't the only fella catching feelings
i'm actually flying out to nyc tomorrow to ask her
check me out
tommo
oh god we're sad gits aren't we
haz
always have been
probably always will be mate
tommo
i'm happy for you bro
haz
you too mate 🥰
good luck tonight and don't do that weird eye twitch thing you do when you're nervous
tommo
i don't do that!!
and oh my god i'm so excited
cash downey is gonna be my girlfriend TONIGHT
as in tonight TONIGHT 🥳