While practicing for our moving up ceremony, I told Edward that I'll be staying in school for certain events and couldn't go home with him. He argued with me but slowly found out that he was fighting a losing battle. "You're gonna regret defying me", he threatened as he walked back and sat down on his place.
"It's the last day of practice...surely he's going to come", I thought as sweat slowly dripped and hands get even more shakey. I'm going to talk to him for the last time and it doesn't even matter if he'd shut me out for it.
We marched, sang, then repeated until we were able to make do with the principal's standards. I could slowly see the amount of seniors piling up amongst the hallways and sitting on the island. I looked around to spot him but no luck.
At around 12:30 pm, we ended our practice. The seniors were going to start at 1:00 pm and so I waited. I saw Edward walking off alone. I tried to look for Zairen and instead, I found Medusa and Sahya. Medusa looked at me and asked, "Are you going to talk to him today?", while Sahya was looking at me confused. "Yes. It's my last day... my last chance" I exclaimed.
I ran down to the field and played music on my phone. I set it to shuffle and heard it play the song. I sang every part of the song while walking around the campus. "Goodbye to you my senpai", I sang while starting to break down.
I sat down by the same exact hallway we first met. I saw everything flashing right through my eyes. The pain I've been through chasing a guy I couldn't have. I started to curl up, looking at my younger self pathetically while watching the game I was playing with Zairen back then.
"Why couldn't I just make this move? I wouldn't have any interests with him if we didn't end up on a stalemate".
I looked insane fighting myself then I noticed how Zairen rigged the game. He could have ended it a few moves and yet he purposedfully prolonged the game leading to a stale. I was taken a back with what happened.
I smelled the familiar aroma of my angel. I ran towards this scent and jumped at him screaming, "AHYAAAA!!!", gave him a great big hug. He was with a bunch of people so I couldn't say anything.
He introduced me to Jerico and Pedrico. Each didn't really click with me unlike Sahya and so, I didn't really speak. Instead I walked with Zairen once again and talked to him as if nothing really happened. "There is no point in telling him. I want to send him off with a smile", I thought.
We walked towards a green building then Zairen suddenly walked forward and jokingly asked, "I wonder if my pee stain is still there up in the roof of this building". I laughed and felt nice, smiled and made him feel like there was no problem. Everything was fine on my part even if my heart started to beat faster as the minute passes by.
Out of nowhere, he climbed up a mushroom hut, where students would usually hang out in, and stood up on its roof. He flashed a middle finger towards the school and seemed like a delinquent. He sat down on the roof and looked down at me. Our eyes locked in together and I saw the loneliness and emptiness he had back then. "Ahya you might fall. Be careful", I warned as I held his arm. He stepped on the rails of the hut then jumped down.
He gave me a slight pat and started to walk back. He walked on the island, criss-crossing every tree there was. The falling leaves make him even more childlike. When he sat down, I saw the red string still in tact but the golden butterfly fluttering out of him and returning back to my chest. I looked down trying to stop myself from crying even more.
"Shobe... practice is about to start. It's nice hanging out with you again. It was nice while it lasted"
"Thank you for giving this opportunity for us to hang out"
I replied while holding my tears. I raised my arms slightly and hugged him tightly. His face, his voice, his gestures, his personality, and his influence has engraved my memories. He slowly walked pass through me making me turn around and watch him go back to his place. I saw a man, an empty man, born full of love, filled with apathy, a tragedy but grew up with a sense or responsibility.
My final thoughts for him echoed in my mind and I wished for it to reach him.
"I hope you will have a better life in college. Thank you for giving me a family. I love you so much Ahya. Goodbye"