Chapter Fifty Four:
"Here." She pointed up at Malcolm's building, "Thanks again."
Hugo raised a brow at the graffitied metal doors, "This is your place?"
"It's Malcolm's actually, but I stay here a lot."
His lips formed a line, he looked up at the tall building before looking back at her. "I hope you find your mother, Theodora."
"Me too." She waved goodbye, fishing her key from her pocket. She went to put the key in the lock when the door creaked open.
"Are you gonna be alright?" Hugo questioned, staring at the opened door.
"Yeah. Thanks, again."
Theodora quietly shut the door behind her before slowly climbing up the steps. Heels clicked on the hardwood and she found her eyes rolling, here we go.
It took a few minutes before Jesse Whitly noticed Theodora, but when she did the woman had her famous glare on her face.
"Miss Fletcher." Malcolm's mother said, "Malcolm isn't here."
"I know. But he's bringing back dinner so I figured I should be here when he does."
There was an old red shoebox sitting on the island, stickers and random things were plastered all over it.
"You have your own place of residence, you realize."
"Oh, I'm plenty aware, Mrs Whitly."
The woman pursed her red lips, she glanced back at the box before making her way by Theodora and towards the stairs leading to the front door.
"Let my son know that I stopped by."
Theodora stayed silent, not turning around to face her.
"You know it's rude not look at whoever is speaking to you?"
She shook her head, mind running wild. "You want me to face you while you degrade me?" She turned, sending a glare. "Why don't you like me, Mrs Whitly. From day one, every since you met me it seems you decided to hate me."
Instead of a response, the older woman only gazed around the room. Theodora was surprised she didn't just leave, but knew she was stubborn.
"It's rude, to not look at whoever is speaking to you." Theodora quipped, "Isn't it, Jesse?"
Malcolm's mother remained quiet as she took the stairs, her heels clicking loudly all the way down until the door slamming shut sealed off the outside world.
Damn it, Theodora rubbed her eyes. She trudged over to island and flopped onto a bar stool, swivelling back and fourth silently.
Everything sucked. Everything.
Theodora just wanted her mother and her father back, to tell her everything was going to be okay. She was sick of having to decide it for herself, or to ignore everything until something good came.
"Theodora!" Jay Fletcher shouted, running after her daughter. "Running away won't make anything easier! You can't hide forever!"
An eight year old Theodora huddled herself into a corner, "I don't wanna go!"
"You need to go. You're sick. The doctor will make you feel better, he has all the medicine."
"I'm not sick."
"Dora, sweetie, you have a fever."
"No I don't."
Jay smiled, letting a little laugh slip. She grasped her daughters hands, "Are you scared?"
Theodora nodded solemnly, "I don't know what's gonna happen."
"That's ok. When you grow up to be a big girl, things like this will happen again. A lot of things will make you scared or confused, weary even." Jay's eyes were very round, the blue almost a royal colour against her silver head of hair. "Count to five, 1,2,3,4,5. Take a deep breath and tell yourself it's all going to be okay. Or hum your favourite song, do you have one?"
Theodora pursed her little lips, "What's that one you and dad always sing too?"
"Oh." Her mother grinned, "Repeat after me, okay?"
She nodded eagerly, her unease slowly fading as she focused on her mother.
"Slow down, you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile, but then if your so smart then tell me you're still so afraid—"
"What's a juvenile?"
A laugh, "I'll tell later. Promise."
"Is that the whole song?"
"No, no. Then it goes, Where's the fire, what's the fury about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out, you've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day—"
"I like your voice." Theodora blinked, "But can we go now? I feel better. Let's get it over with!"
Jay stood up, admiring her daughter. "Yes, we can. Come on, maybe we can go for ice cream when your dad gets home?"
Theodora blinked, gazing around the room.
Her mother never told her what juvenile meant, and they didn't go for ice cream when her father got home.
She huffed, picking at her nails. Why was she randomly zoning out more now, lost in flashbacks. A click echoed and she jumped, turning as Malcolm appeared carrying two large paper bags. "I hope you're hungry."
He sat them on the counter while she sighed "Your mom stopped by."
His eyes landed on the shoebox and his face fell, Theodora narrowed her eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He sat next to her and pulled the box over, flicking over the lid. He pulled out a small toy army man, a small smile on his face. "I forgot all about this stuff."
Theodora peered in, spotting a few more small toys, ticket stubs and a bunch of old photos. He gently removed a small pile of photos, smiling down at the top one. It was one of both him and his mother, she held him close with matching smiles on their face as they looked at the camera.
"That's a cute one."
"Yeah, alright." He snickered moving to the next. This one was of the whole family, Martin stood next to Jesse with both their kids in front of them. It looked like they were at a park and Malcolm wasn't very thrilled to be outside.
"You were a very pale child."
"I hated the sun."
"I think you still do."
Theodora continued to pick at her nails as a photo fell from the pile, landing in front of her.
It was Malcolm and his mother again, this time at graduation. He wore the cap and gown, a giant smile on his face. She could even see herself in the background, half her dad visible before the paper ended.
"You can't hide forever, Theodora." Her dad's voice rang out, "You can't be late for your own graduation. You beat Harvard, you should be proud."
Theodora paced her bedroom, her gown in a heap on her floor. She couldn't do it, not without her mother.
Knocks echoed on her door, "Open the door, hun."
Her breathing hitched and her eyes burned, Theodora found herself sinking onto the floor in a corner of her room. "I'm not ready to be alone yet."
Her dad snorted, "Alone? You're just graduating university, you're staying with me until otherwise."
She tried to smile, but she only sobbed. Why was she freaking out now? She hadn't had a meltdown over her mother in two years, why now?
"She's gone. Gone, gone, gone."
"Theodora, open the door."
He knew she was panicking, and he knew she needed someone to help her calm down.
"I'm scared to be alone."
"Honey, please just open the door."
Theodora held her head in her hands, This is ridiculous, she thought. Why are you doing this to yourself?
"I can't go."
"Why not?"
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do after."
Her father fell silent for mere moments before knocking on the door again, "You don't need to know right now. You'll figure it out when you're supposed too."
"I'm scared."
"I was scared at my graduation too." His voice floated to her, "But look at me now. I was lost after, yeah, yet I still found my way. Now I have a family, my dream job and everything I could've asked for."
Theodora didn't reply, she only shook in the corner of her room. Minutes passed as she thought her dad had finally given up, instead there was another soft knock.
"Slow down, you're doing fine. You can't be everything you want to be before your time. Although it's so romantic on the borderline, tonight." His voice mumbled, Theodora sat up, staring at the door. "Well, too bad it's the life you lead, you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need—"
"Though you can see when your wrong, you can't always see when you're right. You've got your passion, you've got your pride but don't you know only fools are satisfied?" She sang back, remembering the first time she heard her mother sing it to her. "Dream on, but don't imagine they will all come true. When will you realize, Vienna waits for you..."
Theodora stood up as the door flew open, her dad stood in the doorway holding a screwdriver with a warm smile on his face. She rushed over to him and engulfed him into a hug, "I'm sorry." She whispered.
Johnathon only chuckled, "Do you know why that's your mother's favourite song?"
She shook her head, no, against his chest.
"She always wanted to go to Vienna. I was going to take her there..." He trailed off, "We'll go one day, and she'll be there with us. She'll be with you today, too. And you know she hates being late to important events."
Theodora stepped away from her father and wiped her eyes, "I'll grab your stuff. Go down to the car, I'll be there in a few minutes."
Theodora's eyes widened as she focused back in on the granite counter tops of Malcolm's kitchen.
They never made it to Vienna, either.
"Theo?"
She looked at him, his eyes were almost as wide as hers. He looked spooked as he tossed a photo back into the box, one of him and his father posing in the woods.
"You were mumbling a song." He told her, a hand came up to her face as he brushed off a tear with his thumb. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Are you sure?"
Theodora nodded, reaching for the two bags of Chinese sitting on the counter. "What did you get?"
He knew she was changing the subject, but to be quite frank he didn't want her to ask any questions about that photo. Or the questions leading up to it, because he didn't know. He still couldn't remember.