November ; 2017
BREAKING NEWS: BTS' Rap Monster changes stage name to RM.
Monday, November 13, 2017
BTS leader RM has officially confirmed that he will no longer be using his former stage name Rap Monster.
On November 13, RM wrote a message on the group's official fan cafe. He said, "I've been promoting under the name Rap Monster for about five years, since the end of 2012.
"It was a stage name that I naturally came to be called among our company family members and my members, after a line in a song I'd made as a trainee, and I think I became very fond of it.
But once I started promoting, the name 'BTS's Rap Monster' was a bit long, and I've become keenly aware of the fact that it's become different from [what I want] to put at the front of the music I've made for the past five years, and the music I want to share in the future.
At some point, I started introducing myself as Rapmon or RM, rather than the full name Rap Monster.
So I'd like to change the name I use for promotions to 'RM,' which I think is more in accordance with the music I'm aiming for and also has a wider spectrum.
Since I've already released some music and mixtapes as RM, I think that some fans will have already guessed this.
I thought about this carefully for a long while, because I want to make music for a long time in the future with an unrestricted and open mind and view.
It's possible that it's a bit awkward to be changing my stage name, which I've been called since before my debut, and you may feel like it's unfamiliar. However, I would be sincerely grateful if you would welcome me after I've started with a new name following a long time of consideration.
Thank you!
- RM"
When asked what his new stage name stands for during an American interview, the BTS member replied, "RM can stand for anything you want, as long as you love yourself. To me, it means 'Real Me'"
The rapper has released music and mixtapes under the RM name in the past, and has also introduced himself as RM or 'RapMon' on numerous occasions, but now has formally made the shift away from his former moniker.
Following the announcement, "Rap Monster" trended worldwide on Twitter for several hours.
RM unveiled the name change less than a week before BTS becomes the first Korean boy band to perform at the AMAs on Sunday, amid a busy stateside schedule that will see the septet film for Jimmy Kimmel Live! and the Ellen Degeneres Show. The act will also release a remix version of their song "Mic Drop" on Nov. 24, the day after Thanksgiving, a collaboration with Desiigner and Steve Aoki.
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NamJoon lounges around his studio, affectionately named Rkive, in his rolling chair. NamJoon has only had this chair for a year and it's already giving him so many problems. There's an irritating squeak whenever he leans back in frustration.
Ever since they arrived back from finishing their schedules in America, getting straight back to work in the studios didn't go so smoothly for NamJoon.
Usually songwriting is a breeze for him. It's not like he doesn't have his moments of writer's block where he struggles to write a verse or compose a melody, but this ordeal is different.
It's like he's completely depleted of inspiration.
He's been struggling to finish the songs for the upcoming album in production.
He's tried playing around with the keyboard.
Nothing.
He's tried scribbling down any rhymes that come to mind.
Nothing.
He's tried humming to himself.
Nothing.
Everytime he fails to come up with anything, he ends up leaning back in his chair and directs his grumbling towards the ceiling. He now associates the squeak of his chair with failure. He's heard the squeaking so many times at this point that it's driving him mad.
NamJoon whirls in his chair; it releases a continuous squeak as he spins in circles and the walls of his studio blend together. Maybe being in such a closed environment isn't helpful for his creative mind either.
His creative space is currently closed up.
His brain is his profession and his brain is currently not putting in the work; it's hard to thrive in a creative career when the creativity stops working. It's one of the many complications of relying on a constant output of artistry: there's not always going to be a constant input of inspiration. Sometimes, an artist needs to search for it.
With a new sense of determination, NamJoon stands from his desk chair with a final squeak before grabbing his long liner jacket and turning off the lights of his studio. He makes the short trip down the hall to another studio room.
He stops at the door of the studio titled 'Hope World' and knocks thrice. NamJoon can hear shuffling on the other side and lots of typing before the door finally opens to reveal a smiling Hoseok. He's holding the earmuffs of the headphone wrapped around his neck, expecting this to be brief so he can quickly put his headphones back on again. NamJoon can tell Hoseok is in the middle of recording.
"NamJoon!" Hoseok greets him, bright as ever.
"I just left the studio," NamJoon says. He points with a nod of his head at the studio mic set up behind Hoseok, "You busy?"
"Just recording some vocals, a few verses for the mixtape."
That's right... Hoseok is hard at work to finish his personal mixtape for release.
Not wanting to keep him for too long, NamJoon cuts straight to the point, "I'm having trouble writing this song for the next album... Do you have any ideas?"
"For the album?" Hoseok pouts and racks his brain, "Not off the top of my head. Why don't you ask Yoongi-hyung? He might be able to help."
NamJoon nods and allows Hoseok to close the door to his studio.
NamJoon nervously treks over to the Genius Lab, Yoongi's own studio, that's further down the hall. He ignores the RIPNDIP brand placemat in front of Yoongi's door with a cat holding up its two middle fingers and endearingly telling him to 'fuck off.' NamJoon rings the doorbell installed by Yoongi himself, in case he may be in the middle of producing and can't hear people knocking. After a moment, the door opens and Yoongi silently holds the door open for NamJoon to come in.
NamJoon sprawls across the couch pushed into the corner of the studio as Yoongi sits at his desk. Yoongi focuses on the monitor and clicks around with his computer mouse; he's in the middle of producing a song for the next BTS album.
"I need some advice." NamJoon exasperates as he watches Yoongi roll around his studio in his chair, trying to put this song together.
"What's up?" Yoongi asks concerned, but never breaks away from what he's doing. His work ethic is on a whole different level. Yoongi can definitely help NamJoon break through this writer's block.
"Hyung... I can't think of any lyrics."
"What can I do?"
"Hyung, please help me! I need to finish the song." NamJoon pleads with him.
Yoongi hums to himself; NamJoon can't tell if it's in thought or the melody of the song he's producing, "Why don't you try doing what you usually do when you get song ideas? Go on a bus ride or ride your bike or something. Go for a walk in Ttukseom, maybe."
"Yeah... Yeah, a walk sounds nice..." NamJoon contemplates Yoongi's advice.
Maybe what NamJoon needs is to clear up his creative space. He's been working nonstop the past month and jumped from their schedules in America right back into the studio with very little time for himself anywhere.
He's been overworking himself and his brain is in desperate need of refreshing. His creativity needs revitalization, and that means stepping away from his work for a bit.
NamJoon didn't realize how much he needs a breath of fresh air right now...
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NamJoon used to be able to see leaves falling from trees as a topic for lyrics and could create melodies from the sound of the wind. He would pick up on the little nuances of the park and think about how they make him feel. His senses were continuously introduced to new feelings and thoughts. He used to be in awe and overwhelmed with inspiration from his surroundings. Ttukseom used to do that to him; it used to be that place that sparked a creative urgency, but not now.
He comes up with... Nothing...
He follows Yoongi's advice and goes for a walk at Ttukseom.
Nothing.
He tries riding a bike along the Han River.
Nothing.
He tries taking a bus ride to anywhere.
Nothing.
He rides the bus all through the whole circuit and passes all the bus stops until he's on the other side of the city. Still nothing.
NamJoon steps off the bus and immediately realizes where he's arrived without intending to: Gyeongbokgung Station.
He's arrived again at Seochon Village.
On his own accord, his feet guide him down the familiar path that he used to always walk. Perhaps it's because he hasn't visited in months, but it feels like he's walking this path for the first time all over again. NamJoon is the weary traveler who's returned from a long journey; America was a foreign land to him, and now he's returned to somewhere that's familiar. Somewhere along his journey he lost his inspiration, and now he's arrived at the hearth of his self-actualization to find himself once again.
NamJoon has always been drawn to the simple things in life; the little nuances that make the day different from yesterday or tomorrow, subtle wonders that make a place more memorable than here or there, tiny details that distinguish one from another. Despite all these things around him screaming for his attention, NamJoon pays attention to the little things that tend to stay in the background and merely... exist for its own existence.
NamJoon is one to take a second glance when he catches it passing in the corner of his eye.
It is based on this principle of NamJoon's character that he stops in the middle of the road when he sees a flash of a pale pink in the corner of his eye.
Something about it makes NamJoon take a second glance...
A flower cart parked by the side of the road has caught his attention. The cart is a beautiful display of different assortments of flower arrangements. Each individual flower is so small on its own; Vibrant, colorful, lively, yet so small.
This is why NamJoon has always been so fascinated with the simplicity of life.
Something considered insignificant can hold so much significance. Flowers, which arguably do not affect the quality of life of an individual, are used as messages from one person to another.
But the bouquet of pink flowers that catches his eye stands out amongst the rest; perhaps because they are placed nearer to the front for pedestrians like him to be attracted to them first.
The flowers' petals look flimsy, almost fragile. Flowers are generally very frail, but this particular flower seems almost untouchable.
NamJoon approaches the flower cart, his eyes still locked on the mysterious flower. The flower cart clerk is currently busy wrapping up a bouquet of red roses for a waiting customer. NamJoon takes this time to reach out and place a delicate touch of his finger against some of the petals of the flower.
"Thank you, enjoy your bouquet," the clerk politely bows her head as the customer sweeps the bouquet under his arm and walking away, getting swept up in the bustling crowd flowing through Seochon Village.
While the flower clerk drops the cash from the last purchase in the register on the side of the flower cart, NamJoon seizes this opportunity to get her attention.
"Excuse me." The flower clerk looks up from the register as NamJoon points to the flower that's practically leaning over the rim of the vase to nestle back into NamJoon's lingering touch, "What are these flowers called?"
The flower clerk follows NamJoon's finger to the cart's main attraction of the day, "Those are called Ambrosias," the flower clerk practically swoons as she explains, "They're considered one of the most romantic flowers because of their meaning."
"A mutual love..." NamJoon utters under his breathe when the flower's name brings back a fond memory.
"Yeah, that's right," the flower clerk confirms in equal astonishment and delight, "I guess you're pretty familiar with them."
NamJoon shakes his head. "I guess I know their meaning better than what they actually look like..." he tries to put the name and meaning to the face, and is left in a state of awe, "I've never seen them in real life. They're really pretty."
"They really are," the clerk agrees as she shuts the register closed, "We're pretty lucky to have them this fully bloomed out of season."
"I agree," NamJoon trails off as his eyes move between each individual Ambrosia flower to regard each of their individual qualities, "I'm glad I got to see them. They must sell out all the time."
The clerk scoffs to herself in a sense of irony, "They didn't used to, but Ambrosias have recently become much more trendy for romantic gestures since they were mentioned in that bestselling book last year. Maybe you've heard of it?" The clerk elaborates, "It won the Yi Sang Literary Award."
"Yes, I've read that one..." NamJoon is reminded of where, or rather who, he first heard of Ambrosias from, "It's one of my favorite reads."
"Is that where you heard about Ambrosias?"
"Actually, I learned about them from a close friend before," NamJoon admits and is suddenly crestfallen at the realization, "She tried to give me an Ambrosia back then, but I never got it and I didn't understand what they meant."
NamJoon remembers JungMi going off on a drunken tirade about the meaning of the Ambrosia flowers, but she refused to tell him what the meaning of the flowers actually is and told him to find out for himself. He remembers staying up late that same night after sending her back home safely; his curiosity didn't allow him to rest peacefully, not until he fulfilled the task JungMi set out for him. When he found the meaning of Ambrosias during an intense internet search, everything became crystal clear. It felt rather appropriate, NamJoon had thought.
JungMi was always one for motifs; it's the author side of her. Although JungMi is a master at expressing emotions into words, she was always thinking outside of the box; that was the first thing JungMi taught him. Although words are her forte, she always found different ways of saying something without saying anything at all. When words failed, JungMi found what she wanted to say through other mediums.
When it came to the meaning of Ambrosias, NamJoon understood that what she wanted to confess was beyond words. But he understood her all the same.
Looking at it now, the flower reminds him of when he went, and failed, to surprise JungMi when she had a book signing at the Daeo Bookstore. It was when he finally came to her with the meaning of Ambrosia.
"Was that the right answer?" He asked.
JungMi shrugged, "In literature, there's no such thing as right or wrong answers."
Looking at it now, the flower reminds him of JungMi; it reminds him of the seasons they spent together. A single flower with little significance brings back a flood of memories. That's what simple things are capable of; they branch out into other things that are of sustenance.
That's why NamJoon has always been drawn to the simple things in life: they inspire him.
"How much?" He asks abruptly.
The clerk rubs her hands together and estimates, "For the Ambrosias? For a bouquet, it's 40 dollars if you want to bundle it with other flowers of your choice."
"I don't really have a use for a whole bouquet... What about just one flower?"
"Don't worry about it," The clerk waves him off. She walks over and plucks a single Ambrosia from the batch and offers it to him, "Free of charge."
NamJoon reluctantly accepts the flower, but is equally grateful for the clerk's kind act to brighten his day, "Thank you for the flower, and the talk!"
While the clerk's back is turned, NamJoon slips in a hefty tip into the flower cart jar before continuing down the path.
He lets his feet carry him unconsciously as he twirls the Ambrosia between his fingers in a trance. He lifts the flower to his nose; it smells fresh with a subtle sweetness. The petals tickle his nose and cheekbones as they lightly kiss his skin. The flower is, in NamJoon's opinion, a sublime simplicity.
In his search for the meaning of the Ambrosia flower, NamJoon found another meaning by which the word 'Ambrosia' is used. In Greek mythology, Ambrosia can also mean something especially delicious to taste or smell: the food of the gods that bestows immortality upon whomever consumed it. Ambrosia confers longevity.
Did JungMi also know this other meaning when she wanted to give NamJoon an Ambrosia flower?
This other meaning by which the word alternatively is defined by adds more essence to JungMi's gesture of returned love; perhaps she was also subconsciously bestowing longevity upon her affinity. In a sense, giving someone an Ambrosia flower is akin to making a huge commitment to someone.
Longevity means...
That the returned love is a lasting love.
And it shall never fade over distance or time.
The returned love is unconditional.
It endures through all struggles and doubts.
And they shall never grow apart.
It is absolute. It is immortal.
Partaking in such love means...
To give up part of oneself to another.
And the person will forever own a part of him that cannot be taken back.
It means dedication.
It means that even when the hero goes on the journey into the threshold of the unknown, the hero will always return through thick and thin.
It is while he is thinking about the hero's journey that NamJoon stops in his tracks. His arm falls to hang by his side, the flower stem hanging on by his fingertips. He catches a whiff of freshly brewed coffee and ink and paper in the air.
When NamJoon lifts his eyes towards the horizon, he sees a frayed sign with worn down Hangul letters: Daeo Bookstore.
This is no coincidence.
How he ended up in front of the bookstore is no coincidence.
It seems that in his wandering, he stumbled back to where he started.
The ringing of the bell when he opens the door welcomes him back after so long. NamJoon steps into the bookstore, letting the door close behind him to block out the winter breeze. He is immediately surrounded by silence and stillness.
He pays the conventional fee with the change he has left after leaving the flower cart clerk a tip. NamJoon smiles at the new bookstore clerk as he hands over the money; NamJoon has never seen him work here before so he must have been hired recently. The worker named HyunSeok is not here today apparently.
NamJoon steps into the courtyard in what feels like a lifetime. He looks up to the clear sky above him. The comforting sight expels a sigh of he never knew he was holding in. The bookstore has always had that effect; it makes him feel safe to take a deep breath from the stress of his life.
It seems to simplify everything for him: it's just him.
Standing in the middle of the courtyard.
Looking up at the sky.
Living.
Breathing.
Feeling.
The simplest thing he can do is exist in this moment.
And everything starts to come into focus.
He focuses on that feeling of tranquility.
NamJoon bows his head and closes his eyes and starts to envision the simpler times.
When it was just him and JungMi in their own worlds together...
NamJoon glances to the side.
The entry to the back room is covered in shadows in contrast to the illuminated courtyard. It's a threshold he had to pass through once before to begin the journey of self-actualization. And that journey has brought him back here...
To the place it all began...
When he took the first step into the unknown...
The question lingers in the back of his head.
The Ambrosia flower in his hand that used to be as light as the winter breeze through the courtyard becomes a dumbbell in his grasp.
His tightened grip threatens to snap the stem.
He doesn't want to get his hopes up...
He doesn't want to be disappointed...
But maybe...
Just maybe...
Will fate be on their side today?
His heart is beating violently inside of his chest.
He has been wandering aimlessly all day and he still hasn't found what he's searching for.
And perhaps the final threshold he must pass to find it is the same one he's passed through once before, at the beginning.
With the Ambrosia flower giving him confidence, NamJoon walks towards the doorway. He ducks his head to avoid the shelf above the doorway as he steps into the back room. It feels as though every step he takes is lighter than the last; gravity is pulling him to the corner. He's falling back into the orbit of the world they've built together in the corner. And he's anxious to see if there's any other life forms present.
He keeps his eyes downcast, afraid that he might look up and realize he's alone...
He stops in his track before stepping into the aisle, keeping his stature hidden behind the bookshelf...
His ears perk up at the sound of rustling paper, as if someone is delicately flipping through the pages of a book...
Such a simple sound reminds him of her...
NamJoon peeks around the bookshelf to see who it is...
A woman is standing in the corner between the bookshelves...
Her familiar charcoal hair has grown past her shoulders and cascades down her back...
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear when it gets in the way...
She's standing on her toes as she reaches high on the shelf to return the book she was skimming through and grabs a different one...
Her heels slip out of her shoes as she struggles to reach the high shelf...
When she lands back on her feet, she cradles the book in her hands as she reads the cover...
Watching her in her element, NamJoon knows he's found what he was looking for...
The college girl who once sat in this corner is no longer there. Instead, NamJoon is encountering a lady who stands with confidence and straight with long legs, as if to show them off. The woman before him is more mature and experienced than the college girl from two years ago; NamJoon can tell by the glint in her eyes as she scans over the words on the book she's reading and taking in the deeper meaning behind them. That glint wasn't there two years ago. Instead of hiding her presence in the corner, the whole room seems to be full of her presence. The sunlight seeping in through the window creates a ring of light around her head like a halo.
She flips to the next page.
NamJoon holds the Ambrosia flower to his side as he steps out from behind the bookshelf...
She still hasn't noticed him and continues to study the book in her hands. She flips her hair over her shoulder when it falls onto the page, covering the words from view.
It's funny... It occurs to him that this is the moment they've both been yearning for and now that they're here, everything that seemed so complicated leading up to this moment becomes the complete opposite: simple. This moment right now, the moment they've been waiting for is exactly that: simple.
In the end, it was always simple: it's just a man and a woman sharing moments in a bookstore.
And when this occurs to him, all of his anxiousness suddenly goes away.
In a clear voice, just loud enough for her to hear, he repeats himself from the very beginning, "People like you don't belong in the corner."
JungMi freezes from turning the page; the page she was about to flip is pinched between her fingers...
Those familiar words...
And that recognizable voice...
Her heart skips a beat when she hears them...
JungMi lets go of the corner of the page and gently closes the book...
She turns her head towards the sound of his voice...
She holds the book with both hands in fear that she may drop it out of bewilderment...
She isn't startled this time, but rather more expectant, as if she was awaiting his arrival.
But seeing his smile again after so long is such a pleasant surprise...
She doesn't even realize she's left breathless at the sight of him; still tall as ever, still handsome as ever...
Her arms fall to her sides and she lays the book down on the nearest shelf...
She turns her whole body towards him as she gradually starts to grab a hold of the situation...
Her lips are ajar; she's completely at a loss for words that usually come so easily to her...
But even if she were to forget her own name, she would never forget his...
"Joon..." She says breathily, finally exhaling the breath she was holding in.
NamJoon smiles at the sound of his name leaving her parted lips. It sounds as sweet as Ambrosia.
"MiMi..." He says her nickname back with just as much compassion.
"NamJoon!"
With no other words necessary, JungMi rushes over to leap into NamJoon's arms in a tearful embrace...
They hold each other's bodies as close as physically possible...
NamJoon wraps an arm around her waist to hold her steady as she melts against him...
He holds the Ambrosia flower out behind her back to keep it from getting smushed.
JungMi throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tight...
Her heels slip out of her shoes again as she tries to reach his height. NamJoon helps by bending down to rest his chin on her shoulder.
"I've missed you..." JungMi mumbles into his shoulder. He can hear her holding back tears, "I thought of you everyday and I missed you."
"You were thinking of me?" NamJoon teases with a smile, knowing that he did the same.
"All the time," she admits. NamJoon can feel her hands trembling at the base of his neck as she confesses, "When I was having a hard time, I thought of you. And when I wanted to give up, I heard your voice."
His heart breaks to hear her say this. All he wants is for her to be happy. He never wants her to suffer. NamJoon closes his eyes and focuses on her: her warmth, her voice, her breathing. They've never been physically closer than they are now.
He opens his eyes when JungMi pulls her head back. She gazes into his eyes, as if trying to see within the depths of his irises. She stumbles back a step, trying to have him in full view but stays connected at the hip.
"You were always so good to me," she says, "But I never got to tell you how much you mean to me."
"JungMi..."
"I never gave you an answer, but I have my answer now," she takes a deep breath, "I love you."
NamJoon's heart skips a beat.
JungMi blinks away her tears, "I never stopped."
Perhaps he is ascending... Perhaps this is what they call an out of body experience...
"For the longest time, I thought that you left me waiting, but I realize now that it was actually me who made you wait." JungMi apologizes, "I'm sorry... And I hope it's not too late to tell you how much you mean to me."
NamJoon blinks. He parts his lips, but no words come out.
JungMi notices his lack of response. "Do you still feel the same way?" she asks.
NamJoon is at a loss for words; she is better with words than he is.
He has always considered himself a smart man, but with her, he's simple-minded. And the answer is simple: It's her, it'll always be her.
NamJoon pulls the flower out from behind her back and holds it up for her to see. JungMi sees the Ambrosia and beams up at him.
The flower says everything without saying anything at all.
A loose strand falls over her eye.
NamJoon reaches up and brushes the strand of hair away.
He breaks the Ambrosia flower from its stem and tucks it behind her ear.
They both laugh and smile at each other.
The simplest thing they can do is exist in this moment.
This blissful, euphoric moment when they found their other half.
They had forced their own fate. They tried to predetermine their own way back to each other.
Every wrong move they made over complicated the path that was made simple for them. They had to let everything fall into place on its own accord; they had to let fate run its course. Only when the universe runs through its orderly, pre-planned agenda will a person find their other half.
It's a process of refining; fate is a process of making sure two halves of a whole fit together.
They are no longer the struggling, aspiring youths that were chasing after their dreams and had met in this very place years ago. They are now meeting as adults who have achieved all they've ever wanted in life.
It was their dreams that ripped them apart, but ultimately, their dreams brought them back together. Now that they've accomplished their dreams, what started as first love can finally blossom into so much more.