The address on my phone led me to Miles' apartment door, which loomed over me. I double checked the address one more time to make sure I had the right place as I thought about the conversation I had with Mom this morning when she woke me up at 5:45 AM on a Saturday. She gave me this address and told me to be here at 6:30 AM, saying Miles had something for me.
This situation worried me slightly since I had never been to Miles' apartment before. I didn't understand why I was here so early and why Mom insisted I bring a change of clothes.
I looked at his white wooden apartment door and felt my hands shake with worry. Once again thoughts of self-doubt filled my mind as I couldn't help but wonder when he would get his fill of small-town me. Maybe that day was today.
Dad's voice rang through my mind, reminding me to breathe. Shutting down all the crushing thoughts, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door of Miles' apartment. I tapped my foot on the ground as I waited for him to answer.
"Come in!" he called out to me. "It's open."
Without waiting a moment more, I opened the door to his home, closing the door behind me. Quietly I looked around his place, never seeing a place that was so open, bright, and modern. It was full of luxury, something that was completely different from my house.
"Make yourself comfortable!" Miles called out to me from somewhere in the house.
With a nod, I walked into his apartment. Instantly my eyes fell onto a massive map of the world behind his white couch. As I got closer to it, I noticed some countries were white, and others had color. Brazil, UK, France, Germany, Italy, and Canada were colored in with shades of blues, greens, and yellows. The map was dotted with red stickers marked in the colored countries with handwritten cities; Glasgow, Toronto, Paris, Rio, Milan, London.
Unable to help myself, I reached out to touch the stickers, wondering if he had really been to all these places. My eyes fell onto writing below the map, seeing a note that was almost hidden by the couch. "Travel far enough until you discover yourself. Your mark is only as small as the life you live," I read out loud.
"Do you like my Wander Wall?" Miles' voice rang out behind me.
I turned to him with a small smile. "Have you seen all these places?" I asked in amazement.
He nodded as he slipped on a dark wash jean jacket to protect him from the fall wind outside. "Every time I go somewhere, I mark it. I want to remember that I was present, that I lived, saw, and breathed that air. I don't want to forget the places I've been because I was there, live, learning."
"It's beautiful." For someone that had never left California, all these places seemed so far and so unattainable to get to, another reminder that he was so different then I was. His life was exciting, lively, full of memories, better than mine, that was for sure. "You must have seen so many things."
He nodded with a shrug as if it wasn't that exciting. "Yeah. But Redding is my favorite place that I've ever been to," he said, brushing my cheek with his thumb causing me to blush.
We hadn't talked any more about the party at Zoe's and even though he said that what we had was platonic, I still couldn't help but fall deeper for him. I wanted to believe that he thought the same because of his actions. Like this, and how he held me when he said Redding was his favorite. It had to be because I was here. But he couldn't have meant it, could he? After all, he went to Paris for crying out loud and must have seen so many beautiful things. Redding had me, but that was it. I was just one person in a sea of many in his life.
Miles smiled at me, then clapped his hands together. "Ok, ready to go somewhere?"
I nodded with a smile. "Where to?"
"It's a surprise, just please tell me you brought a change of clothes."
Mom threw a bag together and put it in the car, saying I would need it. "Whatever you did, you've won her over," I said to Miles with a chuckle. The fact that he could convince her to take me somewhere was something even past boyfriends couldn't do.
"I just told her how much of a friend you've become in my life," he said with a smile that I couldn't help but return.
"I feel the same about you too," I said as we walked out of his apartment. We got to the stairwell and hiked down the eight flights of stairs to the garage in silence, but we didn't need a conversation to know we appreciated each other. By now Miles and I have become inseparable. For knowing each other for only 3 1/2 months, I felt like I have known him for a lifetime.
"So, Thanksgiving is coming up next week," I stated causally.
He nodded as he pulled out his phone, only half paying attention to my words.
"Do you have any plans?"
He stopped as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket when the car came into view. "For Thanksgiving?" he asked as he tried to wrap his head around what I was telling him.
I nodded.
He frowned, making it look like this question bothered him more than he wanted to share. "No."
I smiled slightly, seeing this as my window of opportunity. "Want to join us for Thanksgiving?"
"I would love too." Excitement filled his eyes. "Isla, that sounds perfect," he said with a smile as he got his keys out and unlocked his rust-colored Subaru.
I got into his car and buckled in. I watched Miles buckle himself in and start backing up the car. His jeans and loose T-shirt lightly hugged his defined muscles in all the right ways, making him look casual but not lounging casual. I still did not know where we were going, and not even his clothes were a hint to me. "Where are we going?" I wasn't sure what he had up his sleeve, but it seemed like everyone knew except me.
His dark green eyes danced around in the fluorescent lighting, taunting me. They were like evergreens in the winter in the dark of night. "Not telling you. Just play your music and you'll find out at some point."
"So you only brought me along as your DJ?" I asked with a small smile as I took his phone and plugged it into the car and instantly a peppy, upbeat song started playing.
He winked at me. "Bingo. Give the girl a prize."
I lightly punched his shoulder as he drove out of the garage. "You're the absolute worst," I said as I listened to the song play all the way through and tried my best to enjoy it. Finally, the torturous song ended, and I put on a song that I had been listening to recently.
For someone that has never traveled, I knew Redding with its many shades of color all season round. But as I watched as the brownish-green of Redding turned into a deeper shade of brown, I knew we were going south. That was one clue.
"This is a great song. I'm digging it," Miles said as he tapped the steering wheel as the song changed again.
I chuckled at him as I looked at the song. "I sent this to you yesterday."
He suddenly frowned, knowing he was caught red-handed. I always wondered if he listened to my recommendations, and this just showed he didn't listen to all the songs I sent him.
I was a bit hurt, but then again, I wasn't surprised since no one liked my stuff. I knew the music would get old and he would stop listening to them eventually, just like everyone else did. "You just got busted. Do you even listen to the songs I send you?"
He looked at me with sincerity, as if he actually meant what he was about to say. "I do, really. But yesterday I was busy."
I nodded as I remembered him texting me, saying that he wouldn't be able to answer his phone yesterday. "What were you doing again?" I asked, trying to find more information. Yesterday was the most cryptic he had been in a while, and it bothered me slightly that I didn't know what he was doing.
He shrugged, as if the answer was simple. "Writing, meetings, lessons. Just a full day so I could have the weekend free."
I couldn't hold it anymore. This secret of his was killing me and I had to know. "Where are we going, Miles? You can't keep this up forever."
He shook his head and locked his mouth with his hand, then made a motion to throw away the key. He smirked at me, enjoying this.
"You know, if you weren't driving, I would slug you," I said as I sank deeper into my chair to pout. I pulled up my blonde hair into a ponytail and sighed wondering how long would he play this game.
He chuckled as he continued to drive down the freeway. "You're cute when you pout."
I looked at him and rolled my eyes. As if that would make this better.
"Seriously. I don't think I have ever seen you throw a fit before."
For being a middle child, I was normally down for anything, but secrets were not my thing, not after Dad was diagnosed. "This is as close as you will get to a fit. I don't throw them often," I said to him as his phone buzzed in my lap, causing me to jump. I looked at the phone and saw a girl named Izzy texted him.
"Who was it?" Miles asked me, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Izzy. Want me to respond?" I asked, knowing that I have done this for him a handful of times before.
He suddenly looked worried as he glanced at me. "No, that's fine. I'll respond later," he said as he tried to take back his phone.
I held it back from him. "Remember, eyes on the road," I said to him, using that as an excuse although I just wanted to know who this person was and why he didn't want me to see the messages. "Who is this Izzy girl anyhow?" I asked, trying to make conversation.
He frowned as he kept his eyes on the road. He didn't want to talk about it. "She's no one," he said, killing the conversation as the next song came on the speakers.
I frowned back at him, wondering what he told people about me. Was I another no one in his life? For minutes we were silent as I thought about this mystery girl wanting to know who she was to him. She clearly wasn't anyone but why didn't he want to talk about it.
Minutes ticked by until the silence was almost too much to stand, until finally, breaking the silence, Miles stated, "Shoot. We need gas." He tapped the wheel of his car in frustration then drove to the nearest gas station and pulled to the pump. "Want any snacks?" he asked me. Once again, his guarded eyes were gone, hinting that he had already moved on from this conversation.
"Sour gummy worms?"
He chuckled. His laugh was high and light, carefree, like it normally was when he was around me. "Coming right up, Isla Maas," he said as he got out of the car.
I watched as he walked towards the connivance store unaware of what I would do next. Quickly, I opened his phone to look at the message from Izzy, knowing I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself. I had to know why he was so keen on hiding the information from me.
"Oh, baby, you're so cute when you talk dirty," the text read.
I felt my heart sink to the black sneakers I wore on my feet. I wanted him to talk dirty to me, not this other strange girl. That was why he didn't want me to see the message. It was obvious he was dating her. For a moment, I felt myself dive into the deep end of my emotions. Even though I knew we were just friends, it still hurt to know that he was seeing someone else. I was falling for Miles Keen, couldn't he see that? Wasn't he falling for me, too?
Disappointment consumed me like a raging fire. This wasn't fair, but then again, life wasn't fair, I should have known that he wouldn't date me. I was literally no one. Not even people in my own high school wanted to be friends with me. But Izzy, she had to be famous, more interesting than me.
What hurt the most was that I thought we had something, or maybe he was just pulling me along because he thought I was amusing. A tear of frustration ran down my face, before I quickly wiped the rest from my eyes, knowing I couldn't let him see me getting so worked up. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I saw Miles walking out of the store.
He smiled proudly at me and held an armful of snacks in his hands.
I chuckled as he stepped back into the car, convincing myself that this trip would still be fun. However, with the text I just read, I wasn't sure if I would ever be enjoyable. "I told you I just wanted gummy worms, not the entire store," I said as I took the sour gummy worms off his hands.
"I thought we might need a little more because after all, LA is a long drive still."
I raised my eyebrows at him. LA, wow... I didn't see that one coming. "Ha! So that's where we're going!"
He looked so upset as he turned on the car showing he didn't mean for that to slip.
Every tree, bush, or building we passed was something so new to me like an exciting chapter in a book. But this wasn't a book, it was my life and even if this wasn't forever, I wanted to soak it in like it would be.
"Ok, what are we doing in LA and how did you convince my mom for me to go?"
"I didn't really need to convince her. I just asked, and she said yes almost instantly."
I nodded, still barely able to believe it. "Ok, what are we doing? You still haven't answered that question."
He shook his head, not wanting to share.
"Come on Miles, I already know where we're going. Half of the surprise is already up," I begged him as I hung onto his thin but strong arm.
He sighed as he changed lanes on the freeway. "I'm performing a show. Thought it might be fun if you came."
I smiled at him. "So I'm going to a Kit Keen concert?"
"Is that ok?" he asked, unsure if this was a smart move.
I grinned again. After knowing Miles for a few months, I felt like I knew him, but I had never seen the Kit Keen side of him. I was curious to see what he was like. I had seen his videos on YouTube, and he looked bold and eccentric, but Miles wasn't like that. It was like they were two different people, like Jekyll and Hyde. "That sounds amazing. I'm excited."
He beamed at me. "Cool. We should get to the venue by noon and the concert isn't until eight. You don't have to stay all day at the venue if you don't want."
"Are you at the venue the whole day?"
He nodded. "Sure will."
"Then I'll stay."
"It's your funeral."
"I think it'll be exciting."
He chuckled as if he knew something I didn't.
A road sign that said LA was 150 miles away passed us and once again excitement bubbled within me. Maybe I wouldn't date him, and maybe that was fine. I could still be friends with him and enjoy this moment because finally, I was going somewhere. I was living, present and here.
"Ok! Next song," Miles said as he pointed towards the phone, pulling me from my thoughts.
I laughed as I quickly picked the next one. "Ok, I got it."