I try to let Taehyung's words stick with me as I wait for Namjoon in front of my apartment building: "You look hot. He's not gonna know what hit him." But, the longer I stand outside in the Seoul night, the nightlife already in full swing, the more nervous I feel. Nerves are normal for this kind of thing, especially when you're doing this kind of thing with someone as breathtaking as Namjoon, but the source of the nerves isn't Namjoon. It isn't the way I look, either-- Taehyung dressed me in skinny jeans, an olive green top that shows a bit of midriff, and an oversized gray blazer of his to complete the look. I've honestly never felt so put together and confident in how I look.
The source of the nerves is Dr. Jeon. The way our conversation ended the other day has had me on edge about this date all week. His demeanor had been so kind and gentle, before doing a complete 180 to cold and critical. His mood completely shifted, just at the mention of going on a date with Namjoon. It was almost like he actually cared.
Why would he? He had hated me for the majority of my time here, and only just started to come around. Why would what I do in my romantic life bother him? He said it himself on my first day that he wouldn't want anyone knowing he slept with an intern. The thought of that night makes me shiver-- the physical chemistry was definitely there. But that was then, and this is now. Plenty has changed since then, for better or for worse.
A honk of a horn startles me out of my thoughts. A run down car with chipping red paint rolls up to the curb, and the driver quickly parks and hops out-- to reveal Namjoon. I've never seen him in anything but his hat and apron he wears behind the counter of the coffee stand at the hospital, and I didn't think he could physically look any better. Turns out I was extremely wrong.
He's all long legs and sparkling eyes. He wears gray slacks that stop just above black boots. He wears a white turtle neck with a light blue pea coat that stops at his knees. His caramelly brown hair is styled casually. He smiles at me, and I think I might've swooned hard enough to fall over if I hadn't been leaning against the wall of my building already. He opens the passenger side door and gestures for me to get inside, and I almost laugh at the cheesy smile on his face.
"Chivalry isn't dead." I tease him, stepping inside and letting him shut the door behind me. He runs around the front of the car and hops back in, buckling his seatbelt.
"You look amazing." Namjoon says sincerely, and I don't even bother trying to hide the blush that warms my cheeks; there's no use. "I have to say I miss the neon green sneakers, though."
"Yeah, I could say the same about your apron." I say, and he chuckles. We make small talk as he drives to the restaurant, talking about our respective days at work at the hospital. He had crazy customers, and my days in training with Chief Kim were mentally draining, but we were both doing pretty okay. Namjoon finally parks the car outside a nice looking restaurant, and I gawk at it. It looks fancy.
"Are you okay with this?" Namjoon asks, opening my door after insisting. I step out, feeling a little under dressed and mildly guilty.
"Of course, it looks perfect, I just...let's split the bill." I suggest, and Namjoon smiles at me, espresso eyes warm and kind as always.
"We haven't even looked at the menu yet." He says, and I sigh, nervously wringing my hands. Letting him pay this much for a first date is too much.
"I know, but--"
"No buts. I want to do this. I picked this place for a reason." Namjoon says, and I furrow my eyebrows at him in question. "One, the sushi here is orgasmic. Two, I believe the quality of the food you eat on a date should reflect the quality of the person you're on the date with." I can't help but gape at him at this, letting him take my hand in his big one.
"I've said it, and I'll say it again: you smooth motherfucker." I exclaim, and Namjoon chuckles. We enter the retaurant, and it's just as nice as it looked from the outside. We sit down in a little booth, and the waiter pours us some water. Namjoon orders us some wine. "This is seriously too much, Namjoon. Just the wine is a lot...can we please each pay half?" I ask shyly, and Namjoon shakes his head adamantly.
"Nope, I've got this one. But, if you're so set on paying, you can cover it next time." Namjoon says, sipping his wine at me, the ever present twinkle still in his eyes.
"Bold of you to assume there will be a next time." I tease, making the statement firmly to mess with him, but it seems to throw Namjoon off his game. His flirtatious grin is replaced by a look of mild worry for a splitsecond, and I immediately explain. "I'm just kidding, Joon." I reassure him, placing my hand on top of his across the table. He breathes a sigh of relief before laughing quietly. For once, the one blushing is him, not me.
"Damn. Dr. Jeon must be rubbing off on you, because that was just mean." He says. Although he's clearly joking, my heart sinks at the mention of Dr. Jeon. I can't get the stupid look of...what was it? Hurt? Jealousy? Whatever it was, I can't get it out of my head. "Speaking of him, that reminds me," Namjoon continues, "let me tell you about my internship."
"Oh, Namjoon, you really don't need to tell me anything." I explain. I'd really rather not talk about anything that has to do with Dr. Jeon, but it looks like Namjoon won't take no for an answer.
"You deserve to know." He says, before launching into the story. "I started out similarly to you, as an intern. I was young for my group, since I had skipped most of elementary school. So was Jeongguk--Dr. Jeon. He was even younger than me, but we stuck together, because of how similar we were in that sense--two barely adults trying to keep up with everyone else."
"You're both geniuses." I observe, and Namjoon smiles a little, shaking his head modestly. He must be so insanely smart...which makes it even more difficult for me to understand how he came to be a coffee cart manager instead of working alongside Dr. Jeon as a resident.
"Maybe, but Jeongguk and I are different in some ways. My parents always wanted me to be well rounded. Even though I was smart, they always had me in some sort of hobby, like a sport or an instrument of some kind. Jeongguk's parents...I'm not really in a place to say just what they were like, but he was always taught to focus on medicine and medicine alone. Anything else was a distraction." Namjoon explains, and I nod, trying to imagine a younger Dr. Jeon and Namjoon together.
"Medicine was all he had." I state, and Namjoon nods in agreement.
"Exactly. We were both in the running for being chosen to assist on a groundbreaking surgery near the end of our intern year. It was the week before we were set to take our medical boards, and Jeongguk...he wasn't doing very well. He hardly slept, spent every waking moment studying for the boards or researching for the surgery. It was taking a toll on him to the point that he started making mistakes. It started with little things, like misspelling words on charts or forgetting where he put his pager. But the day before the surgery...he messed up. Big time." Namjoon says. He's clearly uncomfortable. I can see it in the way he shifts in his seat and swirls the wine in his glass, fidgets involuntarily.
"You don't have to keep going, Joon." I tell him, trying my best to be considerate since the topic clearly makes him squirm. He doesn't listen.
"It was a routine appendectomy. Open, rather than laparoscopically." Namjoon says, and I remember the first day I met Namjoon, when Taehyung was chosen for the same surgery and Namjoon had shocked me by his knowledge of medical terminology. "Jeongguk and I were both assisting the resident in charge. It seemed like it went well, we closed up the patient...a few hours later, the patient is tachycardic, having trouble passing stool, complaining of sharp pain in his stomach." Namjoon inhales shakily, opting to put down his wine glass due to the sudden tremble in his hands. Concerned, I gently put my hand overtop one of his once again. "They opened him back up, and...Jeongguk had left something in him. Had forgotten to remove one of the clips."
"Oh, God." I breathe out in shock. That's probably one of the worst things a surgeon could possibly do, something so susceptible for patient injury, but also malpractice lawsuits.
"Our higherups were furious. Our hospital is so prestigious, and the suit the patient wanted to file going public would be a huge blow to our reputation, so they tried to negotiate. They came to a deal that they would drop the suit if the person who did it came forward and resigned." Namjoon says, and it suddenly all makes sense.
"You...you took the blame for him, didn't you?" I ask quietly, and Namjoon nods. Namjoon, the person who seems to always have something clever to say is speechless. "Why?"
"It's all he had." Namjoon says, and for the first time, I can see how heartbroken he is about it. "If he had gotten kicked out of the program, his parents would have disowned him, he would have had nothing. I wanted to be a doctor so bad, Bong Soon. So bad. But I have other things that matter to me. I have other things to live for...Jeongguk doesn't." Namjoon says, and he looks up from the spot he had been staring at on the tablecloth to look at my face. Concern grows in his eyes, and he lifts the hand I'm not holding up to brush his thumb under the hollow of my eye. I didn't even realize I was crying.
"That's...Namjoon, that's the kindest thing I've ever heard." I say honestly. "The most unfair, but the most selfless." Namjoon fondly caresses my cheek once more before dropping his hand and clearing his throat. He rolls his shoulders and sighs. It's apparent that he hasn't talked about that candidly in a long time.
"It's what had to be done." He brushes it off.
"But...what made you want to work as a barista?" I ask, the one question I have left unanswered.
"I couldn't make myself leave the hospital. Being there makes me feel better. I'm not doing what I wish I was, but being where it all happens is a close second." He explains. I can't even begin to understand how he feels, to have something he worked hard for taken away just because of someone else's mistake. But I do understand Dr. Jeon better now. No wonder he's so cold all the time, he hardly knows any better. He never had a source of happiness that wasn't cold, hard facts and figures, or human anatomy, or life or death operations. No wonder he lashed out at Taehyung during his first solo surgery--because the surgery Taehyung was performing was the same one that Jeongguk made the mistake that cost Namjoon his career on. No wonder why he beat himself up after Son Kibum's incident--he was a perfectionist and had good reason to be.
"You really didn't have to tell me all that. Thank you, Namjoon." I say softly, and he smiles a little, his normal pep returning.
"Of course, Bong--"
"Help! Someone, please!" A voice from across the restaurant catches our attention. "Call an ambulance, I-I think my husband is having a seizure!" Namjoon and I connect eyes across the table in unspoken agreement. We hurry to our feet and towards the sound of the commotion, and, surely enough, a man is on thr ground, seizing.
"Everybody, get back!" Namjoon shouts, as I get down on my knees next to the man. "Give her some space. She's a doctor." I glance up at him, heart contracting out of sheer empathy for the man. He's technically a doctor, too, but if he did anything unprompted by me in this situation he would be in serious trouble due to what happened with Dr. Jeon. We both know that. "Someone get 911 on the phone."
"Help me get him on his side." I tell Namjoon, and he does as told. I hold the seizing man's head in my lap as best I can, attempting to check his eyes for responsiveness. Adrenaline courses through my veins, heart pounding and thoughts racing through my mind a mile a minute. Blood starts dripping from his nose, staining my hands and my clothes. "Shit, he's hemorrhaging." I murmur, attempting to stop the bleeding.
I'm so focused on the man that I hardly notice the medics arrive, and Namjoon has to pull me aside for them load the man onto the stretcher. I want to go with them, to ensure the man is okay, but I feel awful leaving Namjoon. As if he can read my mind from the look on my face, he offers me a small smile. "You can go. It's okay."
"I'm sorry." I exclaim, but Namjoon shakes his head.
"Don't apologize, I understand." He assures me, but I sigh. Impulsively, I stand up on my tip toes, and press a kiss to his cheek. For the second time tonight, Namjoon is left speechless and blushing.
"We'll try this again, okay?"
"I'll hold you to it. Now, go save lives." He encourages me, and I grin, before spinning on my heel and running after the medics.
"Wait for me!"
wowowow hi everyone!!! i hope you enjoyed this update! to be clear this is a jungkook story but this is very necessary for plot and character development, so more bong soon x jungkook interaction next chapter.
hope you're all staying healthy and happy, using proper hand hygiene and staying home!!
xoxo, r