"Sehun, I'm very sorry, but I have to talk to Jungkook," I said to a popular EXO member.
I saw him nod, but his face was evidently disappointed.
Before I started walking towards my "ex-boyfriend", I remembered Jisoo's words from this morning:"Lisa, you have to tell him how you feel, you have to tell him why you did what you did. I'm sure he'll understand.
Doesn't it hurt you to hear how he suffers every day? And do you enjoy the pain yourself? Now that the Boss took care of a sasaeng, give your relationship another chance. Don't let him go, or you might regret it later."
She was right. I had to, at least, apologise and tell him how I feel. Even though I was not sure that he would want to see me ever again, I had to try.
I kissed him, but he didn't return the kiss. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't hurt because of that.
But I tried to understand, he probably was very angry at me for leaving him without an explanation, never answering his calls or texting him back.
After telling him what was on my mind, I thought that I would feel more at ease - but guess what? I didn't. My heart ached by looking at his sad doe eyes.
I couldn't wait for his reply, it was too overwhelming for me, so I decided to leave.
I decided to leave without giving him a proper explanation, because I didn't want to break into tears in the middle of the club. "Maybe it was never meant to be," I thought.
I exited the club while trying to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my face. I was crying. Again.
"Lalisa Manoban! Stop!" he ordered. I could clearly hear his frustrated voice.
I halted. "Should I turn around or should I leave? Should I give him a reason more to hate me?" that's what I thought. "But you love him, you silly idiot," I reminded myself.
But before I could turn around, his strong yet gentle arms back hugged me, making my heart beat even faster.
"Jungkook," I breathed out his name while inhaling his warm fragrance.
I wanted us to stay this way forever, just the two of us, hugging and me feeling loved and protected, but I knew that our reality was way more complicated. So, I turned around, ready to face the consequences of leaving him heartbroken.
Like I predicted, he was blaming himself for what happened between us. I smiled sadly at him and decided to finally embrace what the fate had in stock for us.
If he leaves me, it's fine. I will live, I will survive, even with my heart being shattered into tiny little pieces.
I told him everything, from the start to the end, only to see how his loving expression changed to the disappointed one. I knew it...he was probably going to hate me for hiding this all from him, for pushing him off the edge, into despair.
"I'm really sorry Jungkook, I'll leave now. Maybe, we could remain friends, even though I doubt you would like to ever see me again,"I said quietly and smiled lightly even though I could feel the new set of tears forming in my eyes.
"How can you suggest something like that Lisa? I can't be just friends with you. How could I, when my whole world revolves around you? How could I, when every time I see you smile, I fall for you even more," he said, surprising me.
He must be kidding me. He couldn't just get over it? I fucking backstabbed him! I felt terrible for doing it, but at that time it was the only thing I thought of doing.
"Jungkook..., " I started. I had to tell him that he's probably just confused and that we are just being caught in the moment. I hurt him way too much. He couldn't possibly forgive me like that. My lips were quickly silenced with his kiss before I could say anything other than his name.
His lips on mine, felt like a dream come true. I dreamed about him countless times...and finally he was here, beside me, holding me and kissing me like there is no tomorrow.
"I need you Lisa. I need you to put my heart back together," he whispered between our heated kisses. His forehead was touching mine.
"I will make sure to heal you, I will make sure to put you back together, I will make sure to love you so tenderly that you'll forget all the pain I caused you" I said while kissing his whole face.
His cheeks that were also wet because of tears, his perfect jawline that never failed to amuse me, his nose and each of his temples. I wanted to love him...I wanted to be with him...and if he wanted it too...then...
I wanted to kiss his forehead too, but I was too short. Upon seeing what I wanted but couldn't do, he smiled warmly. How could his smile set, my whole being, on fire?
"Here," he said and leaned a bit, so I was able to place my lips on his forehead.
I was burning. Where was this desire coming from?
"Why are you blushing so hard, baby?" he asked seductively.
My throat suddenly felt dry.
"Come on, I'm taking you home," he said and lifted me up.
"What are you doing, Jungkook?" I uttered.
"I'm taking you home," he answered shortly and kissed my cheek.
"Why?" I asked before realising how stupid my question really was.
It was nearly 3am, of course he would take me home. I mean, I still can get a few hours of sleep.
"To make love to you, my darling," he said and laughed lightly at my expression. I was blushing. Hard.
I tried to hide my face, but he managed to take my hands away, making me look straight into his eyes.
"Don't hide your face from me. I haven't seen you for so long and missed you so much, so please, don't hide yourself. I think that you have been hiding a lot from me for the past couple of months. Let me enjoy your beautiful face," he then claimed my lips, leaving me breathless again.
We were in his car, making our way to his apartment. He apparently bought one, thinking that someday he'll put a good use to it.
"I thought that someday it could become our home,"he said and brought his lips to my hand, kissing it gently.
He wanted to live with me someday? He wanted us to share a home? It made my heart warm only thinking about living with him. I imagined myself waking up,every day, seeing his handsome face sleeping beside me...and how I would try my best not to burn the kitchen down while he'll be trying to teach me how to cook properly...we would eat and play games...then the night would come and we would enjoy making out... Oh, my God.
"What are you thinking so hard about? And why are you blushing again?" he intertwined our fingers slowly, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Nothing," my voice could barely be heard.
"Good, because we are here and I'm about to make all of your desires come true," he winked at me then quickly stepped out of the car.
A few seconds later we were already in the elevator, but we were not alone. Despite the "audience", I could feel Jungkook's hands on me.
He was slowly but steadily unzipping my dress while sharing eye contact with one of the residents and smiling innocently.
What was he thinking?!
He reached the end of the zip, right at the time when the elevator doors opened and the two residents, who were taking the elevator with us, exited with the slight bow.
"Jungkook, I swear to God, how can..." I started to lecture him on his inappropriate behaviour but he didn't let me finish.
Ding.
"We are here, baby," he said and gently pushed me out of the elevator before passionately slamming his lips against mine.
Without breaking the kiss, he entered the password and unlocked the door. The angle of our kiss was just perfect - the bridge of his nose rested nicely on my cheek while his hands roamed down my body. When his grip landed on my hips, I unconsciously bit the bottom of his lip asking for entrance.
"Whoa, someone is needy here," he pointed out and backed off while smirking.
"Don't test me now, Jeon Jungkook," I warned him, coming near him again and putting my leg between his tights. He groaned because of my action and I just smirked victoriously.
"You had your fun, baby, now it's my turn," he announced. His lips were now basically abusing mine while his hands were making sure not to leave me in the dress any second longer.
"You are like a masterpiece," his hoarse voice filled my ears and mind. When he lapped his tongue on my neck, it was my turn to let out a soft moan.
"I missed you so freaking much, I just can't get enough of you," he was now hovering over me, planting soft kisses on my face.
Finally I was lying in his bed with him upon me. It felt like ages ago.
That is having him this close to me, sharing this kind of intimacy, I thought that it was just a beautiful memory.
"Baby, I'm going in," I heard him say and a second later I felt him entering me slowly. I still arched my back when he started to work up on his tempo, leaving me as a moaning mess.
Otherwise he was incredibly gentle with me.
His gestures were full of love and his eyes sparkled despite the darkness that surrounded us.
"Jungkook!" a high pitched moan left my mouth for the fifth time that night before I felt him slump into my chest.
"I love you, Lisa, I love you so much" he said and kissed me one more time.
I could feel how swollen my lips were, but I didn't care. I was here, with the only man I ever loved, with the person that made my heart flutter all the time. He was the one whose touch evoked a feeling inside me, that couldn't be measured, it could only be felt.
"I love you too," I confessed before falling into the dreamworld...
I dreamed of him. My love. Jungkook.
And how with every every move, we kissed the pain away.
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Darlings!!! Here is an update! I hope you like it. I didn't know if I should have warned you for reading this chap because of the mild smut, but tell me if I have to, in advance. Thank you all for reading and voting on this story. Also for commenting. Stay healthy and well < 33