Hello!!! As I have been stuck in quarantine, I have had more time to write and come up with ideas. I guess COVID19 is good for something. There is the world premier (Just wanted to sound fancy there) for Too Keen For Me.
Also, each chapter I will find a song that I think fits the chapter. (It's kind of my thing, if you have read my other works, you know) Most the time I mark it with a <> for where the song should be played. But today, the song is for the start of the chapter.
Happy reading and stay safe!
Darla H
Breathe.
In and out.
I ran my hands over my messy bun as I tried to pull myself together. It was just one comment that my younger sister, Everly, made. She meant nothing of it, I told myself. But the thing was, I think she did. She was quick to dismiss my feelings.
Tears prickled at my eyes as I tried to fight them back.
I paced the floor of my bedroom.
Breathe.
Come on, Isla, pull yourself together.
Everly didn't understand why I was still upset about our older brother, Tristen, leaving early for college. This was just one breaking point out of the thousands I had this year.
My phone buzzed with a text reminder from my summer job–which I had not yet quit. Tomorrow was the day that I would get the courage to leave. But the thing was, there was always a tomorrow. Especially, when I never had enough guts to actually speak my mind.
"Isla, are you ready?" Everly called out to me from the other side of my bedroom door.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I wiped my eyes from any stray tears. "Everly, give me a second!"
I stepped outside and looked at Everly, who stood about shoulder height to me. Her light blue dress made her sapphire eyes stand out against her freckly pale skin.
Suddenly, my eyes fell across the hall at the empty room Tristen used to stay in. It used to be messy and smelly from his lacrosse gear, but now it was neat and smelt like Febreeze and cleaning products. It was as if he hadn't even spent the last 18 years of his life there.
I heard Everly sigh loudly. "Isla, you're acting like Tristen died. He just went to college."
I bit my cheek as I took another deep breath. Once again with the rough comments. Didn't she know I knew that?
I tore my eyes from his empty room to look at Everly.
"It's obvious, Isla. You miss him but you don't need to make such a mopey face every time you pass his room."
Yes, he only went to college, but he was gone, leaving me two weeks early. No one goes early to college. He was my best friend. He watched out for me, and I always had a table to sit at school. He had only been gone for two weeks, but I already felt so alone without him. Especially since school started.
"Ok, Isla, this is why we're going somewhere," Everly said as she pulled on my hand. "You can't mope around like this. Tristen will be back for fall break in like... two months. You'll see him then."
She was right. Unlike Dad, Tristen would be back. Two months, I could handle that.
My eyes caught a family photo with Dad smiling back at me, a reminder of the final days we had with him.
For a moment, I couldn't breathe as I teleported back to a memory of walking into his room with all the hospital equipment after a long day of school.
Before I allowed myself to fall down the rabbit hole of memories, I shook my head to clear it. "Ok, let's go," I said as I snatched the car keys.
"Now that Tristen's gone, you need to figure things out on your own," Everly said as if she knew this from experience.
Unlike Tristen and I, who had only a one-year age difference, Everly and I had about four which meant she had no sibling for support in her middle school.
I slipped on my shoes. "If you say so," I said. "Hey, Mom. I'm taking Everly out to that dance."
Mom came out of her office with a phone attached to her ear, like normal. She nodded with a smile then mouthed 'have fun'.
The bags under her green eyes were apparent even though she tried to hide them behind black-rimmed glasses. She had been working too hard trying to keep Dad's business afloat. She didn't want to admit she worked long hours and lost sleep, but I think this was a way she handled losing the love of her life.
All of us were still mourning. Mourning for the future we wouldn't have with him. Mourning for the memories that were too painful to relive. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Tristen left early, he couldn't be in the same house that brought so much heartache and misery.
My throat tightened at the thought. I swallowed the lump in my throat before waving to her, then took Everly and walked out to my car.
I didn't really want to do this silly dance, but Mom asked, and I didn't have the heart to say no. It worked out anyway because I wanted to be busy. The nearly empty home was a bitter reminder of everything I had lost within the last year.
"So, how's school going?" I asked, as I drove down the road to get to the middle school.
She laughed as she looked out the car window. "It's only been a few days. There's no news to share. How about you?"
I shook my head as I thought about sitting at the practically deserted table for lunch. Thank goodness I had one loyal friend, Zoe, who sat by me. Without Tristen, the instant friends that he brought were gone, just like him. "No news to share."
"See, you don't even have anything."
I chuckled as I pulled into the busy school parking lot. "Now, no drinking." I smirked.
Everly said the same thing to me every time I went out to one of my brother's wild parties. However, she knew I didn't drink. I was always the designated driver, and I liked it that way.
"Please, this is middle school," she scoffed as she got out of the car.
I followed her lead as I stared at the middle school, which was next to my high school. Both buildings loomed over me as if they would topple down at any moment, burying me in all the memories I tried to cover up.
The both of us quickly ended up in the middle school gym, where a bunch of other young kids danced awkwardly to the top pop list. It blasted through the speakers, shaking the room. The music selection made me want to gag.
I wished the general population listened to a more diverse collection of music instead of this crap.
"I don't want to hear about your superior taste in music, Isla," Everly said as she held up her hand to me, stopping the comment before it even came out of my mouth. "Not everyone thinks that Folk and Alternative are cool." And with that, she ran off to join her friends.
As she vanished into the crowd, I knew I did my duty and could leave to catch up on homework.
Just as I was about to leave, my eyes landed on him. Isaac, my ex. He was growing out his sun-bleached hair; it looked good. It made me wonder how long he would go before he gave up and cut it, like he always did.
My hands grew cold and clammy as I stared. It had been weeks since I had seen him, and I successfully avoided him during school. Worry crept into my mind as I ducked into a crowd. When I peeked at him from across the gym, I noticed him looking at me.
I froze, unable to move as if he held me captive with his gaze.
I didn't think he would be here, but then again; he had a younger brother he probably dropped off.
He waved at me.
My heart pounded in my chest. Shoot, he saw me. I wonder if it was too late to leave, running away from my problems like I normally did.
He smiled, then pointed to the door hinting that he wanted to talk.
I didn't.
Without waiting for a response, he walked out of the gym, setting the trap I always fell for. If I didn't, he would be sure to point out all my flaws to everyone at school just to knock me down.
Even when we were over, he always had his way which made my hair stand on end.
I shut the large metal doors behind me, turning the music into a soft whisper as we stood in silence. I would not be one to start this conversation since I was the one that ended it three weeks ago. I stood by my choice too; I would not date him again.
"Hi, Isla," he said as he rubbed the tip of his shoe into the polished laminate.
"Isaac," I sighed.
We would never get back together. What we had was toxic, and I was glad it was over. Clearly he wasn't so happy. Probably because he liked controlling me.
"Please, hear me out. I miss you," he said as he held my hand, lightly stroking it with his thumb.
A shiver went up my spine as I pulled away. I did not want to hear whatever false promise he would tell me. I didn't miss him. In fact, I felt free. After taking three weeks away from each other, it was obvious we were not meant to be. "Isaac, we're not good together."
He frowned. "I think you're wrong. We are perfect for each other."
No. We were acid, melting everything and everyone around us.
"Name my favorite color," I stated as I crossed my arms over my chest as I tried to keep my breathing even.
"What?" He scratched the back of his neck.
I knew him well enough to know he was stalling.
"You heard me. What's my favorite color?"
He sighed as he swung his arms back and forth in thought. He didn't know. After dating for months, it was sad that he didn't know even the simplest answer. "Yellow."
I rolled my eyes. Even though I expected it, it still was frustrating. He just guessed it because of the blouse I was wearing. "White should have been your answer."
"But yellow should be your favorite because it looks so good on you," he said as he looked at my shirt.
I was done. As much as I loved Tristen, this was the last time I would allow him to set me up on a blind date. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have wasted six months. "Goodbye, Isaac."
"Isla, don't you dare walk away from me," he growled as he stomped his foot on the ground.
And this is what I was waiting for. One second, he's pleasant, the next he's a bomb about to explode, destroying anything and everything around him. I stopped. In this light, he terrified me. No one stood up to him without getting burned.
"Isaac, we're done. We can't do this anymore."
"No one breaks up with me." He punched the locker beside him, making a noise that echoed the hall.
I swallowed the cotton ball lump in my throat and found courage deep within me. "Well, I just did," I said, then walked out towards the parking lot, letting him fume in solitude.