I hadn't looked into a mirror since my first day. I couldn't face up to how different I might look, how much I have changed over the past few months, I could barely remember what I looked like anyway, and I was certain I didn't need a reminder, I don't know what I was afraid of.
I finally plucked up the courage and snuck into Wanda's room, she and Vision were downstairs baking. There was a large mirror housed in here, I stood in front of it; eyes closed. I slowly peeled them open. I was still small, and petite. My skin was pale and my eyes, weren't as dull as I remembered them, they were bright olive green. My lashes where long and curled, and my brows thin and smooth. Every single feature upon my face was perfect and straight, I don't know what I was expecting. Straight nose, straight angled jaw, straight...everything. My hair was a golden blond-brown colour, just past shoulder length, nice and glossy; and my face, small and oval shaped. Why was I scared, worried I had changed. Maybe I was still expecting to see a monster. An abomination of HYDRA.
Suddenly I saw a reflection in the window behind me, it looked like something was on my back, and there just below the base of my neck, on my back was a tattoo, moon shaped and Celtic looking; it was very pretty. Obviously something I had gotten done in my other life, but I couldn't remember, no matter how hard I tried. I admired it for a short while, looking at how it sat on top of my marble skin.
A few more weeks had passed by, it had been almost six months since I turned up here. I was fitting well into my role within the team. Wanda and Nat were my closest friends. Steve more than fit into his role as doting big brother, he looked out for me more after the lab incident.
Tony still felt guilty and upped his duty as father figure. He apologised over and over again, and I haven't had to undergo any tests since. Bruce too, he hulked out in the forest after aiding FRIDAY in bringing my temperature back down. Sam mellowed, finally forgiving me for outing him. He was worried about whatever it was, that was happening between myself and Bucky. I didn't share his concern. He'd obviously vocalised this to Bucky, because I've barely seen him this past week, like he was avoiding me. The only time we talked was over the dinner table, and it was brief. Perhaps I had done something wrong.
I stood outside his door, thinking of ways to approach him. I watched him as I hid, drawing as much power as I could to stay invisible. Steve tried to ask him about me, but he ignored his questions. Once he told Steve he didn't deserve me. I mulled over his response for days. Surely it was me who did not deserve him, he had cared for me, helped me. Did I deserve it?
I took a break in training with Nat. Steve joined me on the mats more often than not. Natasha had gone on a secret mission without the team, none of us knew what it entailed. I missed her.
Steve was pleased with my progress, I had become a brilliant marksman with the help of Sam, who had fought in the war. Watching Tony in the lab had sparked an interest within me and in my spare time I became a self taught computer hacker, Nat would be proud and no doubt there would be more to show me when she returned. The day I finally hacked into FRIDAY and sent commands for her to wake Tony up every hour with music blasting in his room, was one to remember. Sam thought it was hilarious. It took Tony a few days to see the funny side, but he was proud of my accomplishments and pulled me in to help with his inventions.
Steve was sure I would be ready to join them on a mission soon. My anxieties came back, I was uncertain of joining them in the field, but at the same time I was excited. I needed to test out my new found skills.
We finally boarded the jet, we headed off north, it took a few hours to get there. Bucky hung back away from me as the jet took off. He was still avoiding me. I made my way over to him as I unbuckled my seat belt. His soft eyes met mine. His body stiffened at my approach.
"Hey." I simply said, I wasn't sure what else to say to him. My brows knit together as I sat beside him and my palms began to shake. I clenched my fists to regain control. I had been getting better at controlling my emotions, which we learnt affected my ability to go invisible. Bucky drastically affected my feelings. My speed was unaffected, it suddenly helped me out of a crappy situation when all Bucky could do was watch as my hands trembled, his face blank showing no emotion. I on the other hand wanted to cry.
I moved quickly, leaving a breeze behind me as I ran back to the other side of the jet to sit next to Wanda who took my hand in hers. She looked behind her at Bucky, who looked up feeling her gaze on him. He turned away, internally kicking himself after he lost the ability to speak to me. Wanda felt sorry for him.
I sat staring out of the window. The trees were tall evergreens, some with snow still scattered on the tallest branches. The forest was thick, apparently there was a base nearby. We needed to get in, retrieve some files and get out. How hard could it be?
Turned out it was quite hard. There were HYDRA agents everywhere. I ran into a room, seperate from the rest of the team. I saw the man ahead of me, he wasn't paying attention. I had him. I pounced, coming up behind him, hitting him with the butt of my gun. It didn't knock him out, he turned punching me right in the jaw, my gun fell to the ground with a crash. I tried to get away, my speed helped me as I ran to the gun shooting him square between the eyes, it's not something I wanted to do. I didn't want to kill. I ran outside the building and into a clearing. The air was cold and it kept me from throwing up. I was alone.
Or so I thought. Slowly someone came creeping out from behind a few young trees to my left. He stood there, shaded by the greenery, watching me, a black figure. I couldn't see his face. I stood rooted the spot, I couldn't move, it wasn't anyone from the team. I attempted to hide myself but I couldn't muster anything, I felt the familiar lightness, but it faded quickly. Suddenly a gunshot echoed behind me, pulling me back, it was Bucky. He fired towards the stranger, a handful of times, almost hitting him in the arm. The stranger fled before Bucky could do any more damage.
I was worried. Bucky looked puzzled.
"Why did you just stand there?" He demands, shaking my shoulders. This being the first time he had touched me in weeks, I sighed against his touch.
"You put yourself in danger." I couldn't read the expression on his face, it was a combination of worry and anger, but something more. The rest of the team came crashing out of the building. Wanda sensed danger as soon as she got to the clearing, she saw the mystery man stumble away into the trees. Steve and Sam ran to see if they could catch him. I ignored Bucky's sudden interest in my well being, and walked away from him.
"Hey!" He grabbed my arm. "Anna." He spoke softer this time. I looked him right in the eye before ripping my arm from his grip and stalking away.
"She's upset with you." Wanda says to Bucky.
"I know." Was all he could say. Following me into the jet. Wanda stayed outside, giving us some space.
"Anna." He called my name again. "Annie." He was the only person to call me by this nickname. He sat beside me as my eyes searched the floor. He took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the skin, it instantly soothed me and I lifted my head, biting my lower lip. He was close to me, I could feel his breathe hit my cheek.
"I'm sorry for leaving you. I guess I kind of... panicked." He said, his voice low. I didn't reply. Not fully understanding his words.
"It scared me seeing you in that bed. I thought you were going to die. You just collapsed in my arms?"
"I don't understand?"
"Annie." He said my name again, taking my chin in between his finger and thumb forcing me to look at him. His bright blue eyes searched mine as he brought his lips to mine. My eyes closed against the softness of his lips.
Steve and Sam returned minutes later, unable to locate the stranger or find any trace of were he had gone. A smile graced Steve's lips at what he saw. We all chose to ignore what everyone had clearly witnessed, deciding to head back home and call it a day as soon as possible. Bucky and I sat together on the journey home. He held my hand in his, occasionally bringing it to his lips.
Steve had retrieved the files, and the team had taken out many agents of HYDRA in the process.
Back at the compound, and over dinner that evening, everyone was very tense, it made the atmosphere uneasy. No one knew what to say. Tony had been filled in on every aspect of the mission. He wasn't a part of it as he had many press conferences and meetings to attend. Bruce had stayed in the lab.
"I'll up the security on the compound. I don't want anyone going out unless authorised. If he's after you honey, he's probably followed you back here." Tony says, leaning back in his chair.
"So, we gonna talk about what else happened on that mission or we just gonna pretend it didn't happen?" Sam laughed out loud at Tony's comment. I ran from the room, they didn't even see me go. Bucky followed me. He knew I would go to my room.
"Guess that's a no." Tony said.
"I'll keep an eye out, I'll scout the perimeters for any signs of the intruder." Vision spoke, heading out the back doors.
"Me too." Said Wanda, hurrying after Vision.
Sam and Steve were left sitting in their seats with Tony.
"I actually think they may be good for each other." Steve speaks up. Tony just nods to himself.
"Funnily enough. I think I might agree." Says Sam, chuckling to himself, remember the events from earlier. He had let out a huge 'hola' and a 'hell yeah' upon seeing us two embraced on the jet. Steve had slapped him on the back to shut him up, his face turning red at seeing his too friends, lips locked together.
Bucky followed me into my room.
"Hey. You okay?" He says as he closes the door quietly behind him, taking a seat on the bed next to me. His leg grazed mine.
I nod. "Yeah. Not embarrassing at all." I say, as Bucky chuckled in my ear. We sat for a while. Bucky wrapped me in his arms.
"You ready to head back down?"
"Not really, but I guess we have too. If Sam says anything I'm going to kick his ass."
Bucky chuckled. "Sam knows better. He know's we'll both kick his ass." Bucky laughed as he took my hand in his, his fingers interlaced with mine. We both looked down and smiled. He pecked me once on the lips to reassure me. We headed back down to the kitchen to find Steve waiting for us.
"We need to be more cautious. Anna you need to be prepared, we will all help you concentrate and focus on using your power. You really needed it back there." Steve spoke, in a sincere but polite tone. I nodded. He was right, and I had frozen.
With that we all headed to the training room. They came at me from all angles, creating an uncertainty and unpredictability. I evaded most of them, when I ran they couldn't see me, and I was able to hide myself pretty well. It was only Bucky who managed to find me, he said it looked like hot air took my place, he was very atuned to me, more so than the others. It seemed like forever, but we had only been working for a few hours. I had managed to pull things in with me when I was able to go invisible. The bigger the item the harder it was. Knives and guns were easy after a few attempts. Steve insisted I tried to relax and pull Bucky into my invisibility, but I was growing tired. Bucky called it a day when I lay panting on the floor after my fifth attempt.
"I've got you." Bucky said as he lifted me from the floor, to steady me on my feet.
"I can't to do this anymore, I'm tired." I tried to bite back the bitterness in my voice, it worked, just.
"Alright, we can try again some other time. I know it's tiring but we have to try, you need to be ready." It was Tony. "Go on kid, go get some rest."
Everyone was pleased with my progress, and so was I, my only let down right now... my emotions, I felt them bubbling to the surface with every failed attempt to pull Bucky under, and it frustrated me. I would have to try harder next time round, and I wasn't looking forward to it!