I feel my body fall into the one and only jax as he carries me to the car. I feel his body hold mine closer. I feel his breath normal like he isn't worried or scared about our future as a couple as lovers. am I going to do this all by my self I mean I can if I have to. I just don't want to,
Will I leave him
will he leave me
have I made a mistake in showing him my secret.
will he ask questions
do I answer those questions
am I okay
do I need help mentally I mean of course I can kill without hesitation but I was made that way.
as I feel my body move again and he places me in our bathroom. wait is it still our bathroom now I am safe. now I have freedom. I look up at him and look away guilt eating me alive as he undresses me gentle as if I would break. like the time I got here after the hospital. he undresses himself and places me in the shower with him. as he sees my bullet wound its like it reminded him as he steps out and leaves me for while in the blazing shower. the fresh water hitting my cuts hurting like a son of bitch. I let it hurt I need to feel I need to deal with theses emotions like a normal person or I could get stuck as a senseless and that wouldn't do Liam or I any good. I cant bring up a child with no feelings.
he walks back closes the shower door cleaning me of murmuring nice things in my ear telling me doc in on his way. he holds me close to his hard chest as we get out of the blazing heat of the shower. he wipes me over as the doc comes in when jax says its okay. he stitches me up and cleans my cuts up without a word as jax lays me down and curls around me when doc leaves
"what now, do I leave, do I find my own life" I ask low not really wanting the answer
"you stay here and have our family like we both want" he says holding me slightly tighter making my breath catch as I look down at him
"with Liam" I ask
"of course any other child I put into this amazing body I hold close to my chest baby" he declares making my eyes water up with tears as he strokes my hair and tells me to sleep so I can be a Mumma to Liam when he wakes up.
I wake and see the time and start to head for the stairs when I hear voices. its blade dad tank and jax so I feel safe as I walk down in my tracksuit and see then around while jax hold Liam
"why hello sleeping beauty" blade says smiling
"blade" I say smiling he pulls me close and kisses my head
"thank you for that baby girl thank you for my own rebirthing" he declares to my ear making me smile and look up to him.
"rebirthing is more like cleansing now we are all cleansed but the past will always hang in the air we just chose to wipe the air away" I say as he smiles down at me like understands as I hear Liam cry I pull away from blade and pull jax close to me
"I am home and safe with a family" I say as jax wraps his arms around me while dad laughs
"well I am sure the right thing is to make sure jax understands ill gut him if he hurts u" dad says when tank laughs
"I am sure she would have it under control you saw the video we sent" he says laughing making everyone laugh while I look down at Liam and think one day you will not be the only child running around this home.
"he is ours" murmur making jax hold me tighter