Last night, Kristina and Caroline didn't push the issue, allowing me to fall asleep and get much needed rest. I stretch out as much as I can in a twin bed, groaning as my bones crack a little. I hold back a laugh when I see my two best friends cuddled up in the other bed. Kristina looks a little like snowwhite, laying on her back, and her face calm and relaxed. Caroline is a different story, one arm flung across her head, while she lays on the other. And her leg drapes over Kristina.
I know without looking at my phone that it's early. I don't mind getting up early, it helps me be more productive. Tiptoeing to my dresser, I pull the drawer out slowly, not wanting to wake them, and grab a sweatshirt to throw on. The house is heated, but with the crisp weather in the morning, it tends to run cold.
Making my way down to the kitchen, I brew a cup of coffee and try to warm up. To do lists in my head make themselves. But before I can do anything or even think of making a decision about the Logan thing, I have to talk to Cody.
The dial tone rings only once before a grin spreads across my face from hearing his voice.
"Sister! I was wondering when I would hear from you. It's been what? Like two weeks?"
"I text you almost every day."
"Nope. Doesn't count. For all I know it could have been a robot responding, I need to hear your voice to confirm life."
I giggle into the phone. "How can we be so alike, yet so very different?"
"Is that your subtle way of telling me I'm dramatic?" he banters back.
"I never used those words!" I defend, shaking my head. "But, I'm not saying no."
"Well to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I needed to talk to my big bro." Placing the phone between my ear and shoulder, I walk to the fridge, and grab a carton of eggs and some cheese.
"Well, I'm glad you called, Rainey!" he cheers into the phone, knowing full well that I hate that nickname.
"So, what's up with you?" I ask, taking out a frying pan.
"The house is almost done. I finished the flooring yesterday, now it just needs to be staged to sell. But, to be honest, I think I might keep this one."
"Putting down some roots, huh?" I tease. Placing the pan on the stove, I turn it on. "Does that also mean my brother, the player, is going to settle down soon?"
"Well let's not get carried away. How would all the ladies feel if I was suddenly off the market?"
"How considerate of you." I put my phone on speaker and set it on the counter. The eggs crackle in the pan as soon as I crack them.
"Speaking of the dating market, Colton's still single."
"That's not a surprise, you two are commitment phobes." Taking the spatula, I gently flip over the eggs.
He gasps playfully. "We are not afraid of commitment, we just haven't found the right person to tame us."
"Whatever."
"Speaking of getting laid, when was the last time... you know?" he asks, with no shame.
"You know, we have a weird relationship." I say, having no surprise. I slide the eggs on my plate and sit back down.
"I'm just saying, sis, if you have a scratch to itch, I'm sure Colton would step in."
"I know you're joking, but I'm really not in the mood."
"I'm sorry," his voice softens. "I wasn't thinking. How are you doing?"
"That's a loaded question."
I take a deep breath. "Logan took me out to dinner last night..."
"And..."
"And I don't know, he wants to get back together."
Silence meets me on the other end.
"Do you have any wise words?"
"I'm afraid if I tell you what I think, it won't go over well."
"Wow, Cody, that's helpful." Sarcasm drips from my voice.
"I've never been in love so I don't feel like it's my place to give you advice. But I know you, and you will make the decision that is best for you."
"You're supposed to tell me what to do."
He chuckles. "No can do, sis. Plus no matter what I say, you have to do what feels right for you."
He ignores my comment. "Then the whole week we can lay low, decorate the house, and bother Mom and Dad."
I chuckle. "I'm sure it would be the other way around..."
He laughs before continuing. "True. And we could even throw a party!"
"You already have this all planned out? It's three weeks away."
"Hello, I'm your brother. We're planners. Don't pretend like you aren't impressed."
"So very true, bro."
I grunt into the phone. "That's a loaded question."
"Fine. Let's change the subject, what are you up to?"
Kristina and Caroline walk into the kitchen. "Hey, I gotta go, Care and Kristina just came in, it's time for girl talk."
"Ooo, tell Caroline that I have no 'care' in the world when she is around?" Cody says, trying to sound flirty. Funny thing is, lines like that usually work for him.
"No."
"Okay, well can you tell Kristina that I know how sensible she is, but she doesn't need to be sensible with me?"
I roll my eyes. "Goodbye, Cody."
I hang up the phone and look at my two best friends.
"Was that Cody? Did he ask about me?" Caroline asks as she wiggles her eyebrows. We both laugh. She and Cody have a platonic, flirtatious relationship. Granted, my brother tends to flirt with everybody.
"He said some D minus pick up lines, so I hung up." We all laugh.
Kristina and Caroline make their breakfast and join me at the table. I tell them everything that happened last night, including the kiss.
Caroline's mouth is wide open. "YOU KISSED HIM?! What happened to make him sweat?" she says without any judgment in her tone.
I cover my face in embarrassment. "I know, I know, but you can tell a lot from a kiss."
"And what did the kiss tell you?" Kristina asks.
"He misses me and he still loves me," I say quietly.
"Okay, what are you going to do?" Kristina asks before taking a bite of her bagel.
I take a deep breath. "I told him I would let him know by the end of the weekend, so I am going to wait until then. But... I think I know what I am going to do."
Caroline asks while wailing your arms. "Which is?!"
"I think I am going to suggest dating each other. I want to see if we can make this distance work, since that was a reason. He says he wants to try harder," I say playing with my hair.
"For how long?" Kristina asks.
"I don't want to put any pressure on it, but if he agrees to dating, then we will try that," I say before taking a sip of my now cold coffee. "I would like to have a decision made by spring break."
"We'll support you no matter what, but I still think you should make him sweat." Kristina reassures.
"Agreed. Which is why, I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend hanging out with you guys."
----------
In high school, Logan wrote me a love note every day, passing them to me in the hallway between classes. When we went to college, it turned into texts. I'd receive long messages expressing his love for me and describing how he felt. I'm not sure when that stopped exactly. The messages became shorter and sent less often and then one day, I stopped getting them.
Imagine my surprise when Logan sent me a message both Saturday and Sunday.
Saturday's read
Logan: Sophomore year of high school was the first time I really saw you. Previously, I was just a kid who never paid much attention to girls. Even after puberty hit, I had little interest. Then you walked into the auditorium in a sundress, tan skin, and freckles all over and I was a goner. I tried talking to you every day that first week of school, but always chickened out.
The day I finally had the guts to talk to you, you were outside after school waiting for your ride. I asked for your name, even though I knew it. You called my bluff, too. We'd been going to school together since the seventh grade. You laughed a little and we talked for a bit. You left before I had the guts to ask for your number. I remember laying in bed that night hoping that I'd get another chance to ask. Then, after school the next day, you were there again. I didn't even have to ask for your number, because you asked for mine. You always impress me with your confidence and faith in us. It may have taken me awhile, but I have confidence in us. Love you.
Sunday's read:
Logan: Some of Lorraine's favorites;
-Color: purple
-Animal: Dogs (duh)
-Fruit: Pineapple
-Vegetable: Carrots
-Icecream: You'd eat any flavor!
-Sweets: M&Ms
-Flower: Gerber Daisies
Did I get all of them right? I remember I could always cheer you up with dog videos and a bag of m&ms
I smile a little at the messages that show a glimpse of the Logan I once knew.
The phone rings only two times, before I hear his relieved voice answer. "Lorraine."
"Hey. Thank you for giving me space this weekend."
He chuckles nervously. "Not gonna lie, it was hard."
I start pacing while talking. "Listen, Logan, I uh, thought about what we talked about on Friday. I don't want to get back together."
"Oh, ok," he says in defeat.
I wince a little at how the words came out. "Uh, no, what I meant to say is I don't want to get back together yet. I think we should try dating each other."
"Not that I'm arguing, but dating is something you do when you get to know someone. I already know you and love you."
"You need to earn back my trust. I am willing to try to work on things, but in order to do that I think dating each other is the best way," I say with no room for discussion. "One of the reasons you gave when we broke up was the distance. On Friday you said you would try harder. This is your chance."
"You're right. Let's do it."
----------
One week of never ending texts, late night phone calls and daily surprises and it's like we were before the distance. Logan's coming to visit this weekend and he won't tell me what we're doing.
Through one of our late night conversations, we both realized that I was the one to plan the majority of our dates the past year. I don't know why, but I felt the need to plan something. It got to the point, if I didn't plan something, we'd end up doing nothing. It makes me think our communication wasn't as great as I thought it was. So together, we're working on it.
I'm in my last class of the week and I have little focus. I stare as the minutes tick on the clock hanging from the wall. After two agonizing long minutes, my professor dismisses the class and I all but fly out the door.
Sitting on the bench right outside my lecture hall is Logan. He's wearing a striped navy button up, dark jeans, and a dazzling smile.
"You're early!"
He shrugs. "I took the day off."
"I'll let it slide this time, but you can't be ditching work for me."
He gives me a hug and I burrow my face into his chest. He kisses the top of my head. "I took the day off because I had a dentist appointment this morning."
I look up at him, but don't pull away. "You never mentioned anything to me."
"That would have given away the surprise." He pulls away and takes my hand. "Come on, we have reservations then we're going bowling."
I gasp a little. "Really? Awww yay yay yay!"
Logan laughs at my excitement. The last time we went bowling together was senior year of high school and the twelve pound bowling ball fell out of his hand onto his foot. After that, whenever I asked to go, he'd say no.
"Just make sure you hold on super tight this time." I tease as we walk hand in hand to his car.
----------
Another week later, I'm laying in bed, scrolling through an assortment of cupcakes from the bakery webpage on my computer. " Logan's been having a rough week. He has two online tests and one paper to write, in addition to the full work day for his internship. So I'm ordering him a little treat."
"That's thoughtful." Kristina smiles, searching through movie options on Netflix. "What about a romantic comedy? Like Crazy Stupid Love?"
"That's perfect!" I say closing my laptop and sending Logan a quick message.
Lorraine: Movie night with Kristina. I'll talk to you tomorrow?
Logan: Sounds good. Have a good night. By the way, we're going ice skating this weekend. Hope that's okay.
Lorraine: That'll be fun. Just be prepared to help me up every time I fall.
Logan: lol Maybe it will be less than 15 falls this time.
I chuckle at the memory of when we ice skated during christmas break. We skated for about ten minutes and fell fifteen times. The best part was the hot chocolate he made me when we got back to his house.
I put my phone away and focus on spending time with my friend and roommate.
----------
"I only fell twice." I laugh through the phone.
"That railing really was put to good use." Logan teases.
"That was fun. I'm excited for more adventures."
"A life full of adventures, if you let me."
"Logan." I say softly.
"I miss calling you my girlfriend. How else am I supposed to prove it to you? We talk every day, I'm taking you out on dates, what else do you want from me?"
"I need time. You were texting another girl, Logan. I can't just get over that."
His voice tightens. "Are you going to throw that in my face every time we fight?" "No. I mentioned it so you could understand where I'm coming from."
He sighs through the phone. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I know I made a mistake, I don't need to be reminded of it."
It's time for a subject change. "Please tell me we're going to hang out, like, every day over spring break."
"Yes. I can't wait to see you everyday for a whole week." He all but sings through the phone. "I'm going to earn that boyfriend status."
I can't fight my smile. I want nothing more than to be his girlfriend again.
Thank you for reading!
~JW