I have writers block and too much time on my hands so... here's a weird thing I came up with. I got a new computer!! :D
Also I lowkey fell back into musical fandoms so that's fun.
The Spideypool Interlude - Takes place a bit after Peter's identity comes out in the Social Media AU, before the adoption war. fulfills a few requests in that.
Peter had recently shocked the world with his announcement that his 'boyfriend', Spider-Man, was actually him. It had sparked quite a lot of confusion at first - people wondering if it was a prank, or if the old Spider-Man had died - but that had died down. After that, Peter had been invited to many different talk shows to explain what had happened, and how he'd pranked the whole world.
What the world didn't know, however, was that there was a new person that Peter had been around in increasingly large amounts.
The person was Wade Wilson. Deadpool, the self-dubbed Merc-With-A-Mouth. Peter wouldn't admit it, but he had been slowly building a crush on the mercenary, and trying to stop the man from the murders he was constantly committing. It was working out relatively well, and the murder rates had thankfully gone down.
They followed each other on Twitter now, and after meeting Matt Murdock, Daredevil, they had an account called Team Red, where they'd team up on different villains. It was actually quite fun, and it had brought the three of them closer - Peter and Wade were growing incredibly close, obviously, and Matt would often tease them about him having to be the third wheel. In fact-
"Peter!" Ned called, running across the school courtyard. Peter turned to grin at the boy - It was the first time they were back at school after the Peter x Spidey incident, and they were excited to see the reactions of their classmates.
MJ fell into line beside them with a deadpanned "Sup, losers?" The three of them fell into quick, easy conversation.
The eyes of the other students followed them, and Ned couldn't help but laugh. "They're so confused, it's actually hilarious," He commented. MJ smirked. "We should place bets on who tries to be spontaneous friends with Peter," She proposed. Peter bit his lip to stop a smile. "As satisfying as it would be to see Flash grovelling for forgiveness, I don't think the teachers would condone that."
MJ just scoffed. "If Shuri were here, she'd agree with me," The girl pointed out. Ned hushed her. "Your girlfriend just wants to watch the world burn," He countered. MJ shrugged in agreement. "I will neither confirm nor deny these rumors."
To the teachers' credit, none of them acknowledged what had happened over the break. Nevertheless, students continued gawking at the trio in the hallways, and would approach, asking rapid-fire questions. Peter did his best to answer politely, despite knowing that their newfound interest was just because of his revealed identity.
It was nonetheless funny to see Flash looking like he was having an internal crisis at his lunch table.
Peter recounted these details to Wade at the end of the day as they sat at the top of the Chrysler building, watching the sunset. The actual journey up to the building had been quite chaotic, as Peter just climbed it rather easily and Wade had to do his best to not fall using various tools.
They had just finished fighting off a woman trying to steal a car, and adrenaline was running high.
"Well it seems like he deserved it," Wade muttered, anger underlying the interest in his tone. "You know, I could just-"
"No." Peter interrupted the mercenary mid-sentence. "Bu-" "No."
They chatted for a little while more, before deciding to post a picture on their Team Red twitter. Peter had his mask off and was grinning, while Wade took the picture of him. They ended up awkwardly captioning it 'photo creds to deadpool'.
Responses had started rolling in quickly. The one that caught Peter's attention was a commenter that simply tagged #spideypool.
"Hey, do you know what that is?" Peter asked, pointing at the comment. Wade stared at it, then grinned. "It's a ship name," He said, laughing. "As in - as in they ship us?" Peter queried, embarrassed. Wade winked at him. "I am a highly desired person, baby boy, it would be shocking if you didn't return my affections."
Peter's mind practically exploded. Was Wade flirting with him??
"We could do the fun cliche romance thing. Kiss in the sunset?" Wade offered, looking genuinely serious. "You're kidding," Peter stated, shocked. The universe was never this kind to him.
"Only if you... want me to be?" Wade was unexpectedly hesitant. "God, no," Peter breathed, pulling the mercenary closer.
------------
Matt cleared his throat. "Boys," He stated. Peter and Wade broke apart, whirling to face Matt. "That's going on our Twitter page," Matt said decisively, lowering his phone camera.
Team Red @DreamRedTeam
[image attached]
SPIDEYPOOL
OMG WE WERE RIGHT
velociraptorr_
okay before we start shipping this are we sure peter isn't deadpool too?
I'm Not Dead - Peter and Tony-centric. Presumed dead au. Organic webs and stuff.
Peter was just having a calm day at school, quite a difference from what was about to happen. He was walking home when his backpack got caught on a wall.
Or, you know, so he thought.
Peter whirled around, only to come face to face with a tall man who had grabbed his backpack and was leering at him. It had happened altogether too fast for him to react. His head was slammed roughly into a wall, and stars exploded behind his eyes.
Tony's POV
Peter was supposed to be in the labs thirty minutes ago, and Tony was trying to find him frantically. The Iron Spider suit was disconnected and untrackable, as well as the original Tony had given Peter. His backpack was- in an alleyway somewhere, and hadn't moved for the last 45 minutes.
Without hesitation, the man flew off to the location.
He bent down to find Peter's backpack, discarded on the ground. Sitting next to it was a Polaroid picture of Peter, crumpled in the alleyway, blood spreading into a small pool next to his head.
Laughter echoed from the corners. A man and a woman stepped out into the light. Tony immediately pointed his repulsors in their direction.
Anger was blurring his brain, and he hardly heard as the woman started monologuing about her dead son and how she wanted him to suffer equally.
They showed him pictures of his kid's - Peter's - dead body. He was shot in the head.
"We dumped your kid in a trash dump. Quite fitting, isn-"
She was cut off, rather rudely, by Tony blasting her and her - husband? Boyfriend? - to death.
Tony collapsed in the alleyway and succumbed to sobbing.
Peter's POV (o wow huge spoiler not like this is a presumed dead au)
Peter's head hurt like a bitch.
That was his first recollection.
His eyes hurt to open, but he did it nonetheless. He looked around and... was he in a garbage dump?
The stench was immediately disgusting and overwhelming, so he pinched his nose closed, head ringing in pain.
Peter touched the side of his head, which was coated in blood but scabbed over... had he been shot? Feeling around the rest of his head, he deduced that he'd been shot, but poorly. It had gone through the side of his head, but evidently missed his brain and come out diagonally. Overall, he hurt like hell, but was alive.
Peter checked for his watch, which was thankfully still present. However, it was broken and missing pieces. He tried hitting the button for the Iron Spider suit to assemble, but it didn't work.
"Damn it," Peter muttered, checking for his phone. That was, surprisingly, still present. The date confirmed when his watch said it was, but it was one 1%, and Peter hastily searched for his location: the Regal Garbage Dump. He knew of the place: it was about 17 minutes from his apartment.
He was about to text Tony, but his phone stopped responding, and died.
Peter moved to shoot a web from his wrist, but realized there was nothing he could latch them on to. So instead, he walked.
For hours.
---------
By the time he got to Queens, he was exhausted, bloodied, and bruised.
He found one of the public shower buildings and managed to wash off all the blood and dry his hair and clothes.
Peter had no idea where to go first, so he instinctively decided to go to Tony. It was a short walk to the Stark tower, so he managed to get there through back alleys. He was able to make a pit stop at a stash of backup masks he had stored around the city. Nothing with technology, but enough to hide his identity. So he swung deftly up to the training floor and opened the window he usually came through. FRIDAY didn't have any cameras on this floor because Tony knew AI's were hack-able, and didn't want to take any risks.
A loud clatter alerted Peter to the presence of another person in the room.
A dagger had dropped to the ground, and the holder - Natasha - was staring at Peter in pure shock and happiness.
"Peter?" She breathed incredulously. "I thought... we thought you were dead!" She exclaimed, rushing forward to hug him.
"You thought I was dead?" Peter asked, surprised. Natasha pressed a hand to her mouth. "Oh god, yeah, we- there were these people who said they killed you, and they had proof..." She trailed off. "You need to talk to Tony."
And so Peter found himself dragged to the labs by his basically-aunt.
Tony was not rushing around, tinkering like he usually was. "Natasha, you're back again?" He asked roughly from where he was slumped, seated on a rolling chair.
"Mr. Stark?" Peter asked hesitantly. Tony froze.
The man slowly turned around, and Peter saw tear stains tracking his mentor's face.
There were no words between the two of them as Tony practically flew across the floor to hug the boy.
"You're not allowed to leave like that," He whispered. "Ever."
He's Not My Kid - various mini-shots of people thinking peter is tony's kid/meeting him
Pepper
"When do I get to meet the infamous Peter?" Pepper asked. Tony looked up from his cheeseburger. "Wait, why do you want to meet him? You're not trying to corrupt my intern, right?"
Pepper scoffed. "More like your kid. You talk about him practically all the time." Tony stared at her. "You're kidding. He's like... my apprentice."
"Oh really? Then why did you put his report card on the fridge? You're an emergency contact at his school, and-"
"Hi, Mr. Stark!" A voice called from the doorway. Pepper turned immediately. "Well, Pep, looks like you get to meet him today," Tony said casually.
The boy standing in the door had tangled brown hair and wide eyes as he looked at Pepper. "Oh! You're Mrs. Stark. Um. Hi. Sorry, I'll go!" The kid - Peter - said hastily. "No, don't!" Pepper said immediately. "You... are Peter, right?" She asked.
Peter nodded quickly. "Nice to meet you!" He said politely.
Pepper looked over to see Tony looking proudly at Peter.
"Oh, you know I'm right!" She exclaimed triumphantly.
(Tony didn't deny it.)
Rhodey
"Oh, who's this?" Rhodey asked, walking into the labs. Tony was standing next to a teenager in the lab, who had apparently already heard Rhodey coming.
Tony looked unexpectedly serious. "This is... my apprentice, I suppose you could say." Rhodey just stared at him in confusion. Tony noted his expression. "Do you remember? You know... Germany," He said, heavy emphasis in his tone.
Rhodey was temporarily taken back to a time in Germany, 17 years ago. A woman had been flirting quite obviously with Tony, and the two had left the party early... The man's jaw dropped. "Tony!" He exclaimed disapprovingly. "That is so irresponsible! Does... does Pepper know?" Tony nodded gravely. "She... it took some convincing, but she's fine with it."
Sighing, Rhodey shook his head. "You are insane."
--------
Rhodey had taken the time to get closer to the kid - Peter - and he could easily see the similarity between Tony and his son.
One day, Rhodey pulled Tony aside as the man made his way out of the lab. A serious question had occurred to him. "Peter's mom... is she okay?" Tony looked confused. "I- not really? His parents are both dead..." He trailed off.
"Wait, what?" Rhodey asked in blatant confusion. "But you're clearly alive." Tony looked shocked. "What?!?!" He exclaimed. "You- you said Germany, and we were there 17 years ago, and that woman-" Rhodey tried to explain.
"Oh. Oh. Honeybear, I think there was a great misunderstanding between us. Berlin. He's... the Spiderkid, remember?"
Reality hit Rhodey like a truck. "Oh thank god. He seems so much like you- wait. You brought a teenager to BERLIN?" Rhodey yelled. "Well, that's my cue to leave, see you later!" Tony said hastily, running out of the room.
Steve and Bucky
Their first encounter with Peter had been quite odd. They learned he was the Spiderkid shortly after. Then they learned that Peter was Tony's son.
They had been relaxing in the common room when Pepper swept through like an organized tornado, looking for different items. When she had seen them, she called them over.
"Hey, can you guys find Peter? He's 17, pretty short, light brown hair, probably in the labs. Tell him I'll be in my office." She said, not exactly paying attention.
"Who's Peter?" Bucky asked, entirely confused. "You know. Tony's kid," Pepper replied, writing something down.
She was out of the room almost immediately, having found a clipboard with some papers on it.
Steve looked over at Bucky, completely dumbfounded. "Tony has a kid? "
At Pepper's brief instructions, they went down to the lab and found a 'short, light brown-haired kid' spinning on a chair as he wrote stuff down.
"Hey, are you Peter?" Steve asked hesitantly. The kid had already looked over, and he stammered out an answer. "I- um. Yeah, that's me."
Bucky could already see the resemblance between the two: Peter had clearly inherited Tony's love of science, and they did look similar in physical features.
Steve seemed quite amused by the kid, in fact. "Pepper asked for you. She said she'd be in her office." He informed Peter.
The boy quickly grabbed his notebooks and shoved them into the corner in a semi-organized fashion. "O-oh, thanks Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes," He said formally, then rushed out of the room.
Steve and Bucky looked at each other, then mutually and wordlessly decided to go find Tony.
The man was in the kitchen, making lunch. Steve cleared his throat, politely making his entrance known. "Hey guys," Tony said, turning around.
"You didn't tell us about your kid," Bucky said petulantly. "He seemed nice, why couldn't I have met him sooner?" Amusement danced in Tony's eyes. "Oh, you've already met him. Remember Germany?"
"He's... that was Queens? " Steve asked incredulously. "You have a 17 year old son who's also a superhero?" Tony rolled his eyes. "Everyone thinks he's my son. He's not. He's my apprentice." Bucky squinted at him. "Then why did you assume we were talking about Peter by 'your kid'?"
Tony looked like a deer caught in headlights, but recovered quickly. "Hey, get out of here and go make out or whatever. I'm making lunch. I'll see you guys later."
Bucky and Steve traded a glance, then left the room.
"Peter's definitely his kid, right?" "Yep."
aka the chapter in which I can't commit to a plot for more than like 900 words
hope y'all enjoyed! i'm not a dead author yet :>