--Hope everyone is keeping safe! Thank you for the support and kind comments! I try to stick to uploading within a 3-5 day range, but I usually just upload when I finish writing a chapter. I realised though while stuck at home that can seem like a million years, so I'll try to be more frequent! --
"I'm sick."
"You're what?" I whined into my phone, sitting up on the toilet seat during fifth period. I kept my feet up off the bathroom floor as to hide myself, despite me yelling into the phone. Jackie hadn't been in all day nor answering her phone, so when she called, I dashed to the bathroom to answer.
"Sick, Fish. I've had a fever since last night and I'm exhausted." Jackie rasped. "I think I might die."
"Don't say that, I thought you did, you know?" I grumbled, hugging my knees to me with one arm.
"Good to know someone really cares, I told my dad and he said 'oh well' and went off on his golfing trip thing. I don't know. My mom's here and she's been overfeeding me and worrying." Jackie said.
"Well, you've got her and me." I smiled to myself. Her and me, me and Mio. How childish.
"If only you were here." She mumbled.
"Shall I come?"
"Really? Would you?"
"Of course, I've missed you all day."
She paused. "Right now?"
"Right now." I grinned.
"Don't you still have lessons left?"
"Yeah, so. I'll go." I slid my feet off the toilet and stood, smoothing down my skirt.
"What if I get you ill?"
"I get ill, it's not the end of the world." I slipped out of the stall and then out the bathroom door and into the hallway. It was barren with everyone being in their classes.
"Which way you gonna go?" Jackie asked.
I crept past the faculty office, whispering into my phone, "the back way."
There was a spot, further round the back of the school building, where the fence split at the base, obscured by a growth of tall weeds. When Jackie and I first became friends, I showed the opening to her and we used to sneak out during lunch and buy non-cafeteria food. We hadn't used it since the weather got worse and it was more suspicious to be lingering around outside the building. I pushed out the back doors quietly and hurried to the spot.
"They probably sealed it up now," said Jackie, "you'll have to jump over or go to class."
"Well, I'm not going to class." I tossed my bag over the fence and fished through the weeds. And lo and behold, the slit was still there. "Bingo, it's still here."
Jackie gave me a little cheer of encouragement as I crouched down and pulled it back so that it opened. Then I passed through. The opening took me along the fence line and out into the school parking lot. Where my tights stretched over the bump of my knee, two patches of dirt had stained the material, making it appear that I'd just been kneeling in the mud all day.
"My tights are ruined." I grumbled into the phone, trying to brush it off before it stuck. I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and began to walk around to the parking lot.
"I'll let you borrow some clothes when you get here, so hurry."
It was getting colder and colder. No signs of snow yet, but I didn't dismiss the idea. The sky was never-endingly grey, the colour stretched over the trees and the lake and right out of Twin. By the end of the school day, it appeared like night, and at the time I snuck off on my bike, that grey sky was already deepening in hue. The wind whipped up under my shirt and snaked inside my coat, it threw my hair away from my face and neck. I pedalled harder and harder.
Mr. Reed wouldn't be in; I remembered Jackie saying. And ridiculously, the fact made me smile to myself. Every time he was in the house, despite it being his own, I always found myself feeling slightly irritated all evening.
At the door, I knocked, but no one came to answer. So, I flipped open my phone and rang Jackie.
"I'm outside."
"Come in then."
I frowned. "But, no one's opened the door."
"What are you? A vampire? Come on, come in. The door should be open." Jackie laughed weakly.
I tried the handle and it pushed completely down and opened. How weird. Stepping into her house in silence and without the greeting of Mio or Jackie herself felt surreal to me. The entire lower half of the house was as still as a stone. The television was off and the lights were dimmed or off. It felt odd, like I'd broken in or everyone had just missed me.
I slipped off my shoes, fixed my bag up on my shoulder and padded quietly for the staircase. As I went up, I ran my fingers along the wall, eying the photographs I saw every single time I went up. My glance skipped from Mr. Reed's golfing triumphs to Mio's heart-shaped, smiling face in the foreground of baby photos. Most photographs had that tinny, sandgrain quality that came with older generation cameras. My dad still owned most of those.
Mio's bedroom door was closed and silent. Light shafted from under Jackie's though, and I knocked gently before pushing in. She was lying in bed in a loose shirt and sweatpants, the comforter kicked away from her body, cheeks flushed and hair sticky with sweat.
"God, you look a bit rough." I said with a sigh.
Jackie grinned. "Well, I am very ill actually. But luckily, now I have my wonderful carer to look after me."
"Where's your mom?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing her slick hair away from her hot cheeks.
"Sleeping. I think. I dunno, she's in a bad mood tonight." Jackie huffed.
"Why?"
"Her and dad probably argued, or maybe she's sick too." Jackie waved her hand about vaguely. "Anyway, you're here to care about me, not my parents' marriage."
Right, but I care about both, I wanted to say. But I didn't.
"What do you need, your highness?" I smiled, shrugging my bag and coat onto the carpet.
"A hug first," said Jackie, holding out her arms.
I laughed, lying down behind her and pulling her gently into my embrace. While she was sick, I worried she'd break like china in my arms. Her skin was warm and damp against my own. It felt as if I was hugging a huge hot water bottle.
"I wanna get away from here soon." Jackie mumbled against me. "Like, I wish it was summer and we could go on a girl's trip."
"That sounds nice. I wish I wasn't so broke now." I said with a sigh.
"Where would you wanna go?"
"Hmm. The beach." I paused, "probably the beach, yeah."
Jackie sniffed. "I usually go to the beach every year actually. My dad's friend has this lovely house looking over the sea with big french windows and old-fashioned porcelain bathtubs. It's amazing."
"Amazing. I'll be lucky even if my dad drags me up to Canada to go hiking, as if I don't see enough trees here." I chuckled.
"After New Year, if we go, come with us, Norah." Jackie said in a soft voice.
"Really? Isn't it a family holiday?"
I thought about the french windows overlooking the sea, the sound of gentle waves lapping at the sand and caves shaped like dog's jaws, slabs and rock laying like a gray tongue. I thought about lying in a porcelain bathtub, letting the silver taps gush warm water over my tan shins. I thought about Mio sitting on the beach in a summer robe, smiling in the dazzling sun, and calling my name in a way that made my knees weaken.
"Half and half," Jackie said, "we always end up doing our own thing. My dad always meets up with his old friends and drinks all night with them. My mum loves the beach, so she always finds time to go and lie out in the sun. And I just explore, or wait for us all to do an activity together. It's usually the boat rides, I love those."
"Would you really want me to come?" I asked. My heart was beating hard.
"Of course! I'd love it. Oh, please do, Norah." Jackie propped herself up, looking me in the face. "It's a long drive but it's worth it."
"I will, I will. If your parents let me." I was smiling, and suddenly looking forward to the new year.
A couple hours onward, Jackie's temperature rose again and I got her a cold cloth from the washroom and laid it over her forehead. She grew very tired from her fever and eventually fell asleep. She was flat out, and didn't stir for anything. I thought she was maybe dead, but her pulse was throbbing under her skin faintly when I pressed my fingers against her neck.
I didn't have much to do after that. I'd changed into Jackie's clothes instead of my uniform and checked my phone. I thought about going home, but Jackie asked me to stay and watch over her. I didn't refuse. I stayed, sitting in her desk chair, and read the old, dog-eared book I always had in the bottom of my bag. I called my dad too at one point, and told him where I was staying. He dug me out a bit for skipping school early, but didn't seem in the mood to punish me for it. He told me I spent more time with Jackie than at home; I just laughed because it was true.
After getting bored of my book, I slipped out of Jackie's room, deciding I'd wander around while everyone was asleep. But Mio's bedroom door was open then. As I passed it, I glanced inside, seeing the mould of her body shadowed into the mattress and the duvet pushed down around the end of the bed. Her bathrobe was tossed against the carpet.
I went down the stairs slowly, trying not to sound too eager to see her. Despite the slightly sour ending on my half two days before, I wanted to see her and talk to her. I couldn't count on my fingers the amount of times I'd thought about her brushing hair away from my cheeks and touching my jawline. I must've looked like an excited puppy in the moment, tailing wagging under my sweatpants.
I saw the light glowing down in the kitchen and the shape of Mio leaning against the breakfast island. Her head was bent forward and I remembered Jackie saying she was in a bad mood.
"Mio." I called out in a hushed voice.
She turned and looked over her shoulder with lowered lashes, cheeks rosy and lips shiny. She was wearing a red cocktail dress oddly. In her hand, was a near empty bottle of wine. I just stared at her from the kitchen opening for a moment, my eyes scanning over her form and her intoxicated expression.
"Are you okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned. I walked around to the island where she was standing.
She pouted, waved her bottle around and huffed in reply.
"Mio, are you drunk?" I spoke quietly, just in case Jackie had super hearing.
"I'm not! I'm upset." She leaned her cheek against the mouth of the bottle. "I'm frustrated..."
"What? What's upset you?" I frowned, reaching for the bottle and taking the neck in my hand.
She gazed at me and smiled slowly. "What are you doing?"
I swallowed hard, trying to ignore how sweaty my palms had become. I tried to get her, without touching, to lift her cheek off the bottle top so I could take it. "I'm trying to get the bottle."
"I'm not letting you have a drink!" She clutched the bottle to her chest, pressing it hard against her breasts. I let her have it then.
"I'm not, I'm trying to..." I trailed off and sighed. "Let me take you up to bed, please. You might feel better if you sleep."
She clumsily placed the bottle back down on the bar surface and put her hand on my shoulder. My body jolted at the contact, and I looked up into her rosy face for answers. But she was just smiling. Her hand came up the side of my neck slowly and rested heavily against my hot cheek.
"Mio, come on. Let's go upstairs, you're drunk..." I said. My arms had erupted with goosebumps.
I moved to motion her to follow and her hand slipped from my cheek to my elbow, where it stayed. She trailed along behind me sluggishly, holding onto my arm as support. I was breathing hard and hoping she hadn't noticed - not that she was fully aware of anything.
"You're such a lovely, pretty girl, Norah." She slurred beside my ear, and I did my best to ignore her words and the harsh, loud beating of my heart.
At the top of the stairs, she started groaning like she was fed-up.
I asked, "are you alright?"
"I'm frustrated." She mumbled, squeezing the crease of my elbow.
"Nearly there."
She lowered her voice to the exaggerated hush I was speaking in. "What are you going to do?"
"Huh? I'm gonna put you in bed." I told her as we neared the open door to her bedroom.
She just giggled in response.
Once through the bedroom door, Mio let go of my arm and flopped down onto the bed, lying with her arms above her head. Her dress was riding up her thigh, brushing a little too close to the meeting of her thighs. She all of a sudden looked very serious, still with her face pink.
"What should I do when I feel this way?" She said gently.
I tried not to look at her too intimately. My heart was pounding.
"Sleep." I said.
I straightened out the duvet and laid it over her legs, keeping my eyes on the far wall as I did. She made motions under the comforter with her legs like she was swimming and I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. I'd seen a grown woman drunk before - I'd seen my mother, of course - but I'd never seen someone so soft and easy to manage when drunk. I wanted to say it was funny, but really it made my heart race.
"I hope you don't get drunk often." I shook my head. "You're too defenceless."
"Sometimes." Mio pulled the duvet up to her chest and smiled broadly at me.
I was at the door turning off the light. Even in the dark, I could make out the shape of her lovely face (with aid of the hallway light). Her hand came up to her lips then and she blew me an exaggerated kiss. My heart dropped through into my stomach. I imagined that kiss floating through the air like a paper plane and landing right on my lips. Then I blushed.
"Get some rest." I mumbled, trying to shrug off my reaction.
"You know," she started in a tired voice and I looked back over at her, "I wanted a woman too once."
My eyes widened. "What did you just say?"
She didn't reply. I saw that she'd rolled over and was breathing rhythmically. So fast! I couldn't really think. Not at all, not for hours.
That night, I barely slept at all. My brain had far too much to process. Beside me, Jackie slept like a restless baby, squirming and tossing in her feverish sleep. I huddled into her warm body like I was sleeping on a radiator - it was the only thing that finally coaxed me into sleep. But that was only for a few hours. I woke early, still thinking about the events of the night before - more the words Mio had uttered.
I wanted a woman too once. She'd reworded what I'd said to her that night in the kitchen and used it to tell me something important. I knew it was important. I knew there was a reason she had told me. I could've sat there all morning analysing Mio's drunk behaviours, but I decided to instead face her.
I changed into my school uniform, knowing Jackie was still unwell and I'd have to go to school from her house. I tidied the bed where Jackie was still sleeping and jogged down to the kitchen. There, I poured a glass of water and searched through the cupboards for an aspirin. It was inevitable that Mio would be hungover, and if I knew anything about hangovers from my parents, it was that you get a headache that destroys your mood for the remainder of the day.
I knocked lightly on her bedroom door and slipped inside, assuming Mio was still sleeping. I placed the glass and painkiller on the bedside, then made movement for the door.
A small voice came from the bed. "Norah."
Mio's head lifted up from the bed, hair tousled and loose around her shoulders, eyes tired with sleep. I imagined seeing that face every morning. Then shook my head at the ridiculously romantic thought.
"Morning. There's some water and an aspirin on the side." I offered.
She sighed. "Thank you so much."
I just showed her a wobbly smile.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I only remember bits, but I know I was being stupid. I was just upset."
"Don't worry, honestly."
I wondered whether it was because of her marriage, because of Mr. Reed. Or even, if it was because of me.