Chapter Seventy Two
I don't give him a chance to reply as I jump out of his grasp and take off running out of the room and down the hill. He's faster than me by a thousand so I know at any moment he'll be passing me.
"You little cheater," he laughs from behind me and I know he's going slow just to enjoy the chase.
I giggle and quicken my pace, sprinting down the hill.
Just as we're about to reach the bottom, he allows himself to catch me. His arms band around my stomach and he pulls me to him, "I win."
I laugh and shove him off of me. He lets me go and watches as I near the rope. I find a big stick leaning up against the tree and realize they must use it to get the rope in their hands.
He watches me with amusement evident on his face as I try and bring the rope closer but the dang stick isn't long enough.
"We need to find a longer stick," I tell him, words strained against my stretching.
He strides over to me, taking the stick and grabbing the rope easily, "Not a longer stick, just longer arms."
Huh. Well alright then. Whatever gets me swinging through the air faster!
I grip the rope, walking backwards with it until I'm satisfied with the distance and height of the hill. Then, in one swift motion I leap into the air, tackling the rope with my thighs and resting on the knot.
It begins falling back down, I keep my legs flat in front of me to avoid hitting them on the grass. And then the grass is gone and I'm soaring over the lake. It's so much prettier from the sky. The birds seem louder and the breeze is harder. I feel like I'm flying.
Then it's time for me to let go.
I drop the rope and loosen the grip on my legs. The fall is quick but I keep my body tight until I hit the water.
I resurface to see Trace looking at me with astonishment.
"Come on! You try it!" I shout happily.
He cocks his head to the side, "Me," points to himself, "jump in there," at the lake, "with that?" points at the rope still swinging through the air. "No way."
The ground is at least five feet above the lake but once you're on the swing you're looking at over ten feet. It's not a high jump, just exhilarating.
"Fine, if you don't want to have the experience of a lifetime then don't do it."
My Trace, such a baby when it comes to pain, heights, lambs, or bugs. But let fire or a cliff or a spider try and mess with the people he cares about and he'd get over his fear in an instant.
He nods, not taking the bait, "I won't."
Well, that didn't work.
He rushes towards the middle of the hill, stops and turns to face me. He winks once before taking off in a full sprint down the hill and towards the water. He jumps from the edge, transforming his body into a ball as it nears the water.
Giant waves push against my face from his splash and I laugh. A few seconds later, he's above water.
"What's your biggest fear?" he asks me randomly and I pause for a moment to comprehend his question.
What's your biggest fear? That's easy. But I'd never make the answer to it easy, that'd end the conversation too fast. I can talk to Trace all day.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I tease, floating on my back.
He nods, "I would. You know that I'm afraid of heights, but you've never mentioned to me something your scared of."
I stop floating and look at him, tempting, "Maybe I'm not afraid of anything."
"Nope," he shakes his head, "I don't believe in people who are completely fearless. Everyone is scared of something whether they admit it or not. The guys who pretend are just fakes, fear is an emotion we all have."
"You don't think it's possible for someone to not be scared?"
He shakes his head, "I think it's utterly impossible. People get scared, it's in our instincts and it's what can make or break our life. Without fear we'd all be dead, just a bunch of mindless, danger seeking crackheads. So I ask you again Emma, what are you most afraid of?"
I agree with him. It's just interesting to hear him put it into words. 'Without fear we'd all be dead'. Those words make sense. If we didn't have that worried voice in our head saying 'don't walk out in front of that car' then we'd probably do it because we wouldn't be concerned about getting hit.
I'm afraid of something. I just think I'm scared to admit to Trace what my fear is.
But I shouldn't be scared to talk to him about anything.
Trust him Emma, remember?
Tell him anything and everything that's on your mind.
"My biggest fear is to lose someone I love."
He widens his eyes in surprise, "That's not what I expected you to say. I thought you'd say something like drowning or frogs. I should've known you'd have an answer deeper than that though. You never cease to amaze me. Tell me, why is that your biggest fear?"
"I've never suffered the pain of losing someone. But I'm not good when it comes to grief, Trace. I couldn't imagine the pain of never being able to see someone close to you anymore. I've had loved one's that I feel like I've lost, but I know at any given time I can call them to hear their voice if I need to. One day that advantage might be taken away from me and I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you or my parents or my friends." my voice becomes shaky on the last few words and he swims closer to hug me.
"Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere and you can count on that." he pulls away to hold my face in his hands, "I love you."
"I love you." I reply quietly, he plants a kiss on my nose and I smile.
"Are you hungry?"
We get out of the water and head back up the hill. We've decided that since there's only one bathroom and I didn't like his idea of sharing the shower, I can go first while he makes our dinner.
I quickly shower, getting all of the lake water off of my body and out of my hair before getting out.
I throw on my pair of dry fit shorts and a yellow tank top.
I keep my hair falling at my waist, not caring to put it in a bun and keep it dripping wet since I didn't bring my hairdryer.
Trace is at the campfire cooking hotdogs. He's got three already made when I walk up.
"I didn't know how many you'd want and I think I'm enjoying this a little too much so I just keep cooking them," he hands me a stick with a raw hotdog on the end, "I made this for you."
He flashes me an adorable smile. One filled with joy and pleasure. He's so handsome.
We may not be sleeping outside or peeing in the woods, but we're still cooking with fire.
I cook the hotdog until it's a golden brown. I slide it through the bun and drown it in ketchup.
He has three hotdogs on his plate.
We walk down the hill again, finding the wooden bench placed on the outskirts of the lake. It's facing the lake, showcasing the sunset dipping down behind the water.
I turn to Trace, about to tell him about the beauty of the sunset but he's staring off into the water. I know what he's doing, I've seen him do it before. He's lost in his thoughts of the world. When Trace took Dylan, Olivia and I sledding he got lost then too. Not physically lost, but mentally. He's surrounded by his own thoughts as he stares deeply at the lake ahead.
I want to talk to him, ask him what he's thinking. But I just let him continue replaying his memories.
If he wants to tell me then he will. He knows I'm here for him and that he can tell me anything and I'll listen. If he doesn't tell me then that just means he doesn't want to and that's okay.
"We had a pond about a block away from our house," he starts absentmindedly, gaze still fixated on the water, "I would take the kids fishing there sometimes. We'd dig up worms and use some cheap fishing poles that I bought at a yard sale. The kids loved it. We didn't get out of the house often so it was an exceptional treat to go somewhere other than school."
He's speaking slowly, small smile on his face as he remembers.
"Dale found out what we were doing," his smile fades, "he got angry. He tried filling their minds with lies about me, saying that I was mean and they couldn't trust me." he laughs sourly, "He thought they'd chose his side. I tried to keep Dale's wrath hidden from them, nobody should think so little of their father. I didn't want them to be hurt by the idea of their dad being so cruel. But as they got older they understood more and came to realize the type of man he really was. So the kids didn't believe him, they chose my side and became scared of Dale just like I was."
He takes a deep breath, "Dale didn't like knowing that his kids were scared of him, he blamed me for their fear. One night, when the kids were asleep, Dale went into my room and got me out of bed. We drove to the pond and we got out of the truck. He threw me into the water and, "Trace shuts his eyes, chewing his bottom lip. He looks like he's in pain but when his eyes open, the hurt is gone and replaced with anger, "he held my head underwater. My lungs got empty and my head got dizzy. Just as I was about to stop fighting him and give up, allow the water to take me down with it, he lifted his hand and let me up."
I know Trace's dad was a cruel, vicious man, but I never knew the extent that those words described him. He tried drowning his own son just because his kids were frightened of the man they called dad.
"He didn't want me to drown," Trace continues, looking at me now, "he just wanted me to be afraid again. If I ever got used to his bullying to the point it no longer affected me then he'd do something extreme to remind me again, let me know he was in charge. The kids trusting me and not him made him feel powerless. He wanted to let me know that he was still the boss."
I don't say anything. I keep my mouth shut, not really knowing what to say. I don't think he wants me to give him my opinions on it so I won't, he was only telling me to be closer to me.
Now he's showed me another part of him that I didn't know existed.
But I love him just the same.
I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
I don't know how long we stay like that but I do know that even when the sun is down we're still sitting there.
"My arm is numb," he chuckles.
I sit up, smiling sheepishly, "Oh, sorry."
He shrugs with one shoulder, "It's okay, it's a good kind of numb."
"Go take your shower," I push him when he leans down to kiss me, "you smell like a lake."
He throws his head back laughing but stands up to go take it. I follow him up the hill and stomp out the fire when he goes inside the cabin.
When I get in, I can hear the water running.
I see a big, clear bag of sheets sitting next to the nightstand. He must want to change these old dusty ones for some clean ones before we sleep on them all night. I'll do it for him.
I strip the bed and tackle it with the new, fresh linen sheets.
He steps out of the bathroom and I'm sitting on the new bed spread trying to find a movie for us to watch.
"Oh, you didn't have to do that." he points to the old sheets in the floor, "I was going to do it when I got out of the shower. Marshall usually comes by and changes the sheets and vacuums when the place gets too dusty but he broke his leg and hasn't had the chance."
I shrug. It wasn't a big deal, I like helping.
He ruffles his hair with the towel, my eyes follow his movements.
He rakes his hands through his wet hair again. A few droplets of water run down his chest, down until they disappear into the fabric of his sweat pants. I stare at them for a moment, not able to keep myself from noticing how low they're riding.
I wonder if they're always this low and I can just never tell because of his shirt.
Trace turns to look at me.
Embarrassed, I turn my head quickly so he won't see me staring at him.
"You're wanting to watch a movie?" he asks, focusing on the television now.
I guess he didn't see me watching him. If he did, I'm fairly certain he'd be saying something about it right now.
"Yeah. Do you not?"
He shrugs, "We can. I just thought we might go out and look at the stars or something. This is a camping trip remember, no matter how much we modify it to suffice our preferences."
I laugh and stand up. Looks like we're going to look at the stars.
He throws on a shirt before we walk outside. The lightening bugs have come out now. Hundreds of them flash around the lake, looking like fallen stars.
He puts the tailgate of his truck down and we prop ourselves up on that, admiring the sight in front of us.
"What do you want to major in?" he says, looking out at the fireflies decorating the yard and the stars above that, painting stories in the sky.
I remember about a week before the fire we had a discussion about college. We were sitting on my back porch watching Sadie play and we got on the topic of our futures.
Even then, I couldn't help but know he'd be in mine. I never imagined the role he'd play in my life but he has my future. Whatever we do, we do together.
We've already discussed the colleges we want to attend and, to my surprise, it was the same college. I guess the part about why we want to go to college got left out of the conversation.
"I used to think I want to study nursing. The chance to help someone would be the greatest thing I could give back to the world. But now, I think my mind has changed. I don't want to be a nurse, but instead a doctor. I want to study psychology. There are people out there who are trapped in their own minds, no way out. They're scared of what's happening and are unsure of whether or not they can even trust themselves. Their mind is their enemy. I want to help people like that, I feel bad for them."
He smiles at me.
From the time we found out Liam was sick I've wanted to help him. I think he's the reason I want to go into psychology.
"I think that'd be a good job for you. That'd be a career you're passionate about. You've got a kind heart, Emma."
"Well, what about you Mr. Henderson, what's your future hold?"
He looks at me, side smile, "You're my future. I'm looking to get a degree in athletic training. But that's just a side note of my life, that's just a job. You, Emma Kennedy, are my future. You and the kids are my entire world."
I grin like an idiot.
I bring my legs up, climbing onto his waist to straddle his lap. He's surprised for a moment but recovers quickly, scooting back to give me more room.
He leans back, placing his hands flat on the truck floor so I'll have more space. I grab onto his shoulders for support.
"I've been meaning to ask you a question," he says, suddenly nervous. His eyes jerk up to mine as if looking for my reaction.
I keep my face calm. My eyebrows are scrunched up curiously but I'm not worried, not nearly as nervous as he seems to be.
He runs a hand through his hair, looks down at my leg pressed on the side of his body. He takes a deep breath and reaches out to touch me, fingers lingering on the skin of my thigh.
"I'm almost finished moving into my new apartment." he flicks his eyes up to meet mine, "It's close to the college and has nice neighbors. It's not much but I think it could become home. I want you to move in with me, Ems."
I raise my eyebrows.
Move in with him? That's a big step. Mom and I planned out that I'd live with her for the first year of college so I can focus on school. Living with Trace would be a distraction but only if I let it. We could make it work.
Being in the same room with him all day long sounds like a dream. He is my dream. He's my future, too.
Meeting him was just a crazy occurrence but it led to the rest of my life. Admitting to myself that I was in love took a lot. It was hard for me at first but I'm past that now. I'm ready for more. I'll go anywhere with him, take any leap with him.
"Will you move in with me?" he asks again, probably wondering why I'm just staring at him, "Emma?"
I grin, "Yes, I'll move in with you."
A smile breaks out over his perfect features. He grabs my face in his hands gently, his eyes saying a thousand things words could never express.
I want to kiss him so badly. I've been away from him for too long before today. It's hard to believe that just two days ago things between us were so different, we were practically strangers again. But in my heart I hoped that once we met again we'd be something beautiful.
We tease each other and have dumb arguments, but nobody can make me feel the way he can. Every single moment with him is another second I can call myself happy.
He pulls me closer and doesn't waste time connecting his lips to mine. His fingers caress my cheek softly, causing an explosion of butterflies in my stomach.
There's few moments where you can just stop and know you'll never forget it. Moments where every nerve in your body gets magnified. Moments where you become aware of the blood pumping and your heart beating.
This is one of those moments.
Trace and I have conquered each other. We've grown closer than ever these last few days. Maybe a fight was what we needed to grow full understanding of one another. When he was gone I realized just how much I needed him.
I love Trace. I care for him more than I ever imagined I would. When we first met I never knew how much he'd mean to me.
He has my heart and I don't want it back. It's his to keep. And nothing makes me smile wider than knowing I've got his too.
I pull apart from him and lay my head on his chest. We look out at the stars and the fireflies dancing through the yard.
Authors Note:
Hello guys! Thanks for reading! Have a great day and stay safe!