Buckle up guys.
I didn't know Cambridge actually held a prom until four days before it was to happen. My head had been in the clouds as I prepared for my course exams, college decisions, and finishing up the last of my required work.
By the time I had actually found out about prom- well technically it was called 'the summer ball'- it was a little too late to make a big spectacle or anything. I wasn't planning on doing so anyways, since this wasn't my first school dance. I had gone to Prom thrice already, twice in New York at my old school and once in Maryland with a friend who went to school there.
Unlike me, the other students at Cambridge were buzzing in excitement about the dance, including the girls. Four days ago we were sitting at the coffee shop in town chatting, when the subject arose.
"I still haven't decided on what to wear for the summer ball." Lillian sighed, tapping on the wooden table.
"Just don't wear anything, Dominic would love that," MJ said through a mouthful of muffin.
"You're hilarious," Lillian said dryly.
"Wait," I set my iced drink down to look at Lillian. "What summer ball?"
"What do you mean 'what summer ball'? The ball that everyone's been talking about for the past month! The ball? Blake, there are posters about it everywhere! People are being promposed to left and right!"
"Ball-posed, actually." Daisy corrected with a smile.
"But still, how have you not noticed?"
I shrugged with a sheepish smile. "I've been a bit busy with the stuff for graduation. I barely made the decision on time earlier this month for college decisions." I sighed.
"But you're fine with Brown, right? You got into the program you wanted and everything!" Sarah laid her head on her fist.
"I guess, but I'm sad that I'll be leaving you all," I said with a grin. "I love you all, and surprisingly this place has made me so happy."
"Aww we'll miss you too!" MJ tossed her arms around me in a hug.
"MJ shut up. You and Daisy are also graduating this month and you're literally going to the same university as Blake." Lillian scoffed.
"Go bears?" MJ shrugged, an innocent smile on her face.
"Anyways, Blake! You have to end the year with a bang- as in you have to- no, you must go to the ball! We will be your fairy godmothers!" Lillian stated.
"Wasn't it you who just said you don't even know what you're going to wear?" I raised a brow at Lillian, who just waved me off in response.
"I'll just choose with my eyes closed, I bought six different dresses I just haven't made a final decision."
"You bought six dresses?" Daisy gaped at her, "I only bought four!"
"Blake, if you didn't know about the ball until now- that means Clark hasn't asked you?" Sarah bit the inside of her cheek.
Lately Clark had seemed a little... distant. Like his mind was elsewhere and he seemed more quiet and guarded. I wanted to ask him, but I never got the chance. It must be my rapidly approaching departure date.
"I-" I glanced down at my drink, swirling the straw in my cup. "No? He hasn't mentioned it, we haven't really had any discussions or anything because I'm either too busy to see him and when I do we-"
"Fuck?" MJ asked curiously, a devilish grin on her lips.
I quickly looked back down to my drink, trying to shield my furiously red face with my hair. "... Oh shut up! That's not what I meant!"
"Then what?" MJ waggled her eyebrows at me.
I sputtered, before pausing. "We watch movies! That's what we do!"
"Sure..." Daisy drawled, a smirk playing on her lips.
I just shook my head before picking my cup of iced coffee and drinking from it to avoid talking. Thankfully, Sarah brought the subject back to a more appropriate arena.
"But you're saying Clark hasn't mentioned it or even asked you? Seriously? He for sure knows about the ball, it's a huge thing that happens every year for the upperclassmen! Why hasn't he asked?" Sarah furrowed her brows in confusion.
I shrugged in response, trying not to let the thoughts affect me. Why hasn't he asked me? Does he think I don't want to go? Does he not want to go? Why hasn't he mentioned i-
"Has anyone asked you?" Lillian asked Sarah, to which her eyes widened a fraction.
"Uhm some people but I-" she blushed, "I haven't said yes."
"Player," I sang, causing Sarah to playfully hit my shoulder.
"I just- I dunno? I'm not really into any of them and I don't want to go to my first ball with someone I don't know or don't like..." she trailed off.
"I respect that." Daisy nodded.
"Oh shut up, you got asked by someone!" MJ complained loudly.
"Really?" I asked excitedly. "Who?"
I bet I know who.
"Nico." She smiled to herself.
"I knew it!" I clapped, "I called it!"
"How can you call it when you've known about this dance for less than ten minutes?" MJ rolled her eyes at me playfully.
"Intuition. So we know that Lill is going with Dom and Daisy is going with Nico, MJ who are you going with?"
"Oliver Daniels. He's my chem partner and he asked me last week." MJ said before she took another huge bite of her muffin.
"What color are you wearing? I was thinking maybe a shade of salmon or...."
After I had found out about the ball, it didn't take much time for Clark to actually ask me. Damn his psychic abilities.
He had surprised me with a stuffed koala toy and a cheesy sign that read 'I would love to spend some koal-ity time with you at the summer ball? Can you bear to go with me?'
I said yes, obviously. The stuffed bear was just too cute.
Then there was today. A few minutes before the ball was to start.
"Damn, these heels are already killing my feet!"
"You just put them on!"
"So? Daisy unlike you, I don't go frolicking around in heels 24/7!" MJ shot back, pausing her walking to lift up her foot and observe the black leather stiletto.
"I do not frolick!" Daisy frowned, putting her hands on her hips.
"No Daisy, of course not. You prance." Lillian patted Daisy's bare shoulder.
Daisy let out a dainty humph, going back to walking briskly.
We had all gotten ready together, all as in us girls. We were now walking to the ballroom, where the actual ball was to be held.
I was actually really excited for the ball. We had spent the early evening getting ready and gossiping, placing bets on who we thought would get to be on the royal court for the ball.
All five of us laughed loudly as we navigated the halls, looking like a flurry of colors and fabric. I briefly caught my reflection in the mirror, and I could feel my heart warm.
I looked happy. The smile on my face wasn't forced and my eyes looked alive. The sparkly black gown I was wearing swished with every step Everything felt almost too good to be true.
As we chattered and made our way down the hall, my mind began to wander. I wanted to savor this feeling of being happy, because once I leave I'll be back in the dreary world I'm so used to. I'm happy because of everyone I'm with and I don't want to lose them. But I will in just a few days with graduation, so for now I need to cling onto that happiness an-
"Blake!" MJ's voice interrupted my thoughts. I was so distracted that I hadn't noticed that we were all standing in front of the door to the ballroom. I could hear the muffled music and see the colorful lights from the small gap in the door. "Are you coming in?"
"I'm actually going to wait for Clark," I jabbed my thumb in the opposite direction. "He said something about wanting to meet with me first. Are your dates here yet?"
"They should be inside..." Lillian trailed off. "Wait Sarah, do you have a date?"
Sarah blushed, her gold mask not doing much to hide the color. "I mean- it's compl- I...yes I do."
"Who?" We all asked excitedly, staring at the girl in emerald.
Sarah pursed her lips, hesitating. "I guess you'll just have to see."
"Oh come on!"
"Boo!"
"Bo-ring!"
"You suck!"
We all voiced our complaints, but she just laughed. "Sorry guys, but it's a secret that you'll have to find out on your own."
"I hate secrets." I crossed my arms with a grumble. "I'll be on the lookout, but it better be some prince. Oh, there's Clark! I'll see you guys inside!"
I waved to the girls before speed walking over to the boy dressed in a black tux. He looked devastatingly handsome, with his hair stylishly combed, his dark clothes, and bright eyes.
"Hey!" I called to him, before giving him a quick kiss. "You look handsome!"
"I- you—" he stuttered before pausing. "You look gorgeous."
I let a wide smile appear on my face, feeling my heart skip a beat. "So why did you want to meet outside?"
Clark hesitated, looking down to his feet briefly before looking back at me. An unfamiliar look flickered in his eyes, but disappeared as fast as it came. There it is again, him acting weird. But why? We aren't breaking up when I leave, so why is my approaching graduation causing him so much conflict?
"I just wanted to see you in the light before we're stuck with the shitty strobe lights. Because you look stunning, love."
"Stop it," I blushed. "Come on, we should go in! Everyone's already inside and you're being a slowpoke." I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the loud ballroom.
The colorful strobe lights flickered as loud dance music played, masked students mingled and danced while some stood around the voting table.
I easily spotted Daisy at the voting booth standing with Nico. Her embroidered pink dress standing out amongst the jewel tones of our peers as she tossed her head back at something Nico said. Nico looked dashing as always in a black tux, his pink bow tie that matched Daisy's dress made him look adorable. We quickly went over to them, and I gave Nico a hug as a greeting before turning to the table.
"Is that for the king and queen voting?"
"Yup, I'm gonna try and rig the voting! Kota and Luca are both up for king and I want Luca to be this year's king!" Nico nodded enthusiastically. "He kept saying how he doesn't want to be king so now he has to be it!"
"He's gonna kill you." Clark sang, but Nico just waved him off with a scoff. "So what?"
We soon were at the front of the line and were given slips to select the court. Two underclassmen would get the prince and princess award while two upperclassmen got the king and queen. I scanned the six names on the king and queen ballot and choked on my saliva when I read the names.
Luca Kingsley
Dakota Spaulding
Ryan Wong
Vanessa Court
Chloe Sanchez
Blake Graham
"What the fuck? When did this happen?" I pointed to my name, which was printed on the small slips of paper.
"You've really been in the clouds," Daisy commented. "The nominations were announced three days ago!"
"Why didn't anyone tell me I was nominated?" I grumbled, circling Kota's name and Chloe's.
"We thought you knew!"
"Oh god I swear if I- Nico stop it! Don't circle my name!" I cried, elbowing Nico who grinned devilishly.
I handed my slip to the sophomore girl who was manning the booth, thanking her quickly before waiting for Clark. I watched in awe as Nico managed to steal a handful of ballots and hurriedly circle Luca's name before handing them to the flustered girl. Nico could really get away with anything. Once Clark finished, we made our way to find the table we had been assigned to.
Thankfully, all our friends were already there minus Nico and Daisy. Kota was with his date Chloe Sanchez, MJ with Oliver Daniels, and Luca with-
"Sarah? Luca's your date?" My eyes widened. "You bitch, why didn't you tell me? Oh my god! Why didn't I know? This is so cute!" I gushed.
Luca and Sarah both looked a little bashful, but I couldn't help my internal squeal. They looked so perfect together, especially when Luca's tie was so perfectly matching Sarah's silky emerald gown.
We all talked for a while, discussing anything and everything with excitement. At one point, when my graduation came up as the topic I noticed Clark had become silent. Distant. But he went back to normal once he was called back into conversation.
An hour or so later, Ellington had extended his hand to me and invited me to the dance floor. With a wide grin, we began to dance. We joked around and goofed, causing some students to give us odd glances. But we continued to laugh as we attempted to dance, not doing as well as everyone around us.
I had just steadied myself after Clark had spun me, when the music was silenced. I looked to the stage where the student body president, Jin Nahm stood with his vice president.
"Hello everyone, I hope you're all enjoying yourself! If you don't know me, I'm your student body president Jin Nahm and this lovely lady by my side is Diana Casen. You all can get back to enjoying this lovely night right after we announce our underclassmen court and upperclassmen king and queen! So students of Cambridge, are we ready?"
As we intently listened to the winners of the prince and princess of the ball, I began to wait excitedly for the winner of the king. I wanted to see if Nico succeeded.
"And the winner for our king is..." Jin opened the envelope and scanned it, before leaning towards the microphone. "Luca Kingsley!"
I cheered loudly with all the other students, laughing as I heard Nico and Kota's loud whoops.
"And now for our queen...."
Clark nudged me slightly. "I think we need to talk," he whispered. I gave him a puzzled look, but before I could respond I was interrupted.
"The winner for the queen that the students of the academy have voted for is... Blake Graham!"
Nooooooooo.
But alas, I had to follow the set rules and go to the stage. I felt torn, leaving Clark when he sounded so serious but I couldn't stay back. I carefully made my way up to the stage, where Diana met me with a sparkling crown and a smile.
I accepted the crown and gave the crowd an awkward thumbs up.
"And now it's time for the king and queen's dance. Blake and Luca, if you would please."
I gave an awkward smile, before following Luca to the dance floor. The students took some steps back, making the circle around us open.
A slow song began playing, and Luca placed his hands on my waist as I put mine on his broad shoulders.
"Congrats, King Kingsley." I teased, briefly tapping his crown as he winced at the name.
"I can't believe I won, I told everyone to vote for Kota."
Nico's conniving smile flashed in my face, causing me to smile slightly. I'm not going to rat him out... just yet.
"Hey, I didn't know you asked Sarah to be your date." I casually mentioned as we swayed to the song.
"Yeah I... I asked her. She's nice." He blushed, looking down. I then watched his expression transform from bashful to serious.
"I need to tell you something, actually."
How familiar.
"Yeah, what's up?"
He sighed, and shut his eyes with a pause. A look of pain and conflict evident on his handsome features. "I don't know how to say this or even why I am. But you're leaving soon and you're here right now and I think I'll regret it if I don't, but... Blake, I like you."
My heart paused, the sudden proclamation causing me to freeze in surprise. "W-what?"
"Like you, liked you. I don't know? I need you to listen though, because this is my only chance. I don't know when or how but I realized in the fall that I like you. In the way you liked Clark. I swear I never tried to do anything to stop your relationship because I was so happy for you, but there was always that feeling for you. The one where I felt happier when you were around and when you would smile I would smile. You just made me feel like breathing was possible. But you were with and still are with Clark. And I realized tha- realize that. I think it's fading though, because I think it's finally gone through my brain that it's impossible. I just wanted to tell you, had to tell you. Not to guilt you or anything, but I didn't want to keep anything secret. Not anymore. I just want us to remain as friends, and I swear asking Sarah was because I like her, not for any malicious reason... I just-"
"Luca," I stopped him. "You'll always be one of my best friends. Just because you had those feelings doesn't mean I'll think any less or any different. You have such a pure and beautiful soul, I would be stupid to end our friendship for something like that." I said earnestly, before throwing my arms around his neck in a hug. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too." He whispered, as he hugged me back. As the song began to end, he took his arms from around my waist and put one on my shoulder. He looked conflicted once again, the look eerily similar to the one Clark had earlier.
"I also... Blake. You're leaving in a few days and I need you to know something. I can't let you go without knowing this because you don't deserve it. But I'm not the person to tell you because I'm not the person involved. But I am at fault because I didn't do enough to end this. But don't blame Kota or Nico because they barely knew anything. I just..." Luca paused, the pain in his eyes evident. "I need you to talk to Clark. Just ask him... because you shouldn't be in the dark. I'm sorry." He whispered the last part, before quickly turning and disappearing in the crowd.
Know what? Why would I be in the dark?
I weaved through the crowd, giving fake smiles to those who would stop to congratulate me. I had to find Clark.
It didn't take too long for me to find Clark, he was standing with his back to me, leaning against the barren staircase in the far corner of the ballroom. This brought me a sense of deja vu, it was familiar. It was similar to the day of the debutante ball when I told him about my breakup. But now it was all different.
"Clark?" I caught his attention, trying to keep my voice level. "What's happening?"
A look of fear and confusion crossed his face. "What? What do you mean?"
"What I mean," I took a shaky breath, "Is what's going on? Why have you been acting so weird lately. Why've you been so distant? What did you need to tell me and why didn't you? Why was I told that I need to ask you what's happening? What is going on?"
"I-" he met my eyes, his green ones meeting mine. "I swear I was going to tell you and I never meant for it to get this bad. I didn't want to do this, I swear. When I tell you I love you, I mean it. Blake, I love you. But I go-"
"Clark." My voice shook. "What is it?" I said slowly.
Clark glanced at his feet, the pain on his face clear as day. He took a breath before meeting my eyes once again. And as he spoke the words, I could feel my entire being shatter.
"Our relationship was for a business deal."
I could feel the pain pierce every single part of me, but I couldn't show it. I couldn't. I had to drown it out. I wanted to run, but my feet were rooted.
"It all started with some stupid magazine in September. My father had found it lying around in Finley's office, open to a page with an article. An article about how the daughter of billionaire Harrison Graham and supermodel Colette Fontaine had suddenly switched school's to attend the prestigious Cambridge Preparatory Academy. The school where he paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to send me to.
With the knowledge that such a powerful heiress was attending the school, my father had called me. My father had called me to tell me of his plan.
His idea stemmed from his and your father's business plan. My father knew that Graham Medical needed a new law firm to deal with the medical litigation issues and he wanted our company to be that firm. His plan was to get me to get close to you and close to your father, close enough so that your father would end up trusting me and in return my father, enough that he would sign off on the business proposal.
I began to work the plan the day of Tommy Whitman's nightclub party. I couldn't just jump from hatred to courting you- that would cause suspicion. So by doing the drinking game with you that day, I got you to bring your guard down.
After Paris when we had gotten back to the Academy, I had spent some sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do. My father was on my back about succeeding in this almost impossible feat, so I had to bring it up a notch. Which was what our study session in your dorm was. I didn't need help with Intro to Medicine, I had a 98 in the class.
After Italy, my plan was to use the bet that I had won to my advantage. So I began to wait for the best time to cash it in without causing any suspicion. But then New York happened.
The first trip to New York wasn't some coincidence. Our trips aligning was planned, there was no business meeting that I had to attend. But you were the one to ask me to the ball, which caught me off guard. I easily gave in to your request, a win for the both of us at that point. I was getting on you and your father's good side and in return I asked you to come with me to my cousin's wedding, using the excuse that 'you're the only girl I knew who wouldn't turn it into something it's not'.
Everything was blurring at that point. Especially when I saw how seeing Parker had affected you. When you had stopped dead in the streets of the city and asked me to take you away. When you asked to stay with me. When you asked me to smile for you so you could feel better. When you curled up against me while you slept. When you took me to breakfast that morning in Brooklyn.
I never thought I would feel jealous, I thought that this was just some stupid assignment from my father. But when that waiter hit on you, I could feel the jealousy brew. That's when everything started to get messy.
Back at school we had begun to practice for the ball and somewhere along those lines I fell for you. I told Nico about my feelings, and I thought admitting would make them go away. But they didn't. They became stronger and stronger.
When we had first kissed, I thought I had gotten it out of my system. You left me confused and all I wanted to do at that point was be with you. Which was ironically playing right into my father's plan.
I was told to ask you to be my girlfriend. But that didn't mean I didn't want to be with you. That was the only time I had happily complied with my father. Our first date was all me, with no thought of my father or anything. But I was still being ordered around, so I had to ruin our first date by allowing the news to leak our relationship to the world.
I really did try to get out of everything, that's why I had stormed out of the lunch room the day you had taken me to get lunch at that diner. I was trying to fight my father on this and escape- but it wasn't working. He still wanted me to make everything more serious so that Harrison would see that we weren't just some fling.
That's where London comes in. That was my show of us being serious, taking you to the wedding. And when we were on the London Eye, I had tipped off the paparazzi telling them we were there so they could photograph us. So that they could let the gossip news say that we really were serious, since I had taken you to my home and had you meet my family.
When I told you I loved you, I meant that with every fiber in my being. And I was over the moon when you said you loved me as well.
When we stayed at my father's house and I had to meet with him alone, it was my father commending me for pulling through. Ellington & Winslow and Graham Medical had finalized the details. He said that I had done it, and that he was proud. He had never told me he was proud of me before that.
But why didn't I feel as happy as I thought I would from hearing those words? Why would I rather him not be proud of me?
That brings us to the New Year, and your birthday. The fight with Max.
Max has always been one to get on my nerves, and him blatantly flirting with my girlfriend wasn't something that I enjoyed seeing. But it wasn't enough for me to actually punch him without reason.
Max, the son of the CEO of the law firm that used to represent Graham Medical, had somehow found out about my father's puppeteering of me. He found me when I had left class early to search for Nico and Kota, and began to evasively tell me what he knew. But he didn't know the true details. He would say how he 'knew' that I was only with you for my family's benefit, how I was faking my relationship, how I was cheating on you. Then he hit my last nerve by saying that he'll 'take you for a ride so his family can make some extra cash'. That's how the fight started. I didn't do anything else after. And I ended this stupid puppeteering on my birthday.
But Blake, I swear. I didn't mean for it to get this far. I didn't think any of this would happen. And I wanted to end it, I swear. But I just couldn't."
I tried to inhale some air, but I couldn't. I couldn't breath. I was struggling and I felt like I was being drowned. Everything had been a lie. Every word, every smile, every kiss had been a lie. This was all for some twisted deal and I had been the prize.
He said he loved me, but if he truly did he wouldn't have done this. He wouldn't have let it go this far without telling me. He didn't love me.
I could feel the tears prick my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. So long ago he had called me an ice queen, the bitch with no emotions. So I'll be the ice queen, I won't show my emotions, my true feelings. I won't let him know that I feel like I'm about to suffocate, how I feel like my heart's been ripped out of my chest and is laying there out to bleed.
I had to put that mask on. The mask I had constantly worn before I came here. That was my guard. And I foolishly let it down, only for me to be hurt.
I shook my head and made sure to keep my voice steady.
"It's over, Clark."
Before I could let him say anything, I turned on my heel and walked with my head held high. I walked towards the exit with that stupid mask protecting me. But as the door to the ballroom had swung shut after I exited, a strangled sob escaped my lips. My brisk walk turned into a run as I ran from everything. As I ran from everything like I always do. Because I'm a coward.
I ran until I reached my room, once I was in the safety of solitude I let the sobs wrack my body. I let the hot tears stream endlessly down my face. I let the pain of heartbreak overcome me. It was all a lie. It was all a lie. All his words were a lie.
'You're my favorite. My favorite everything.'
' You happened. You've made me all soft. But I'm kind of glad for it.'
'You make me so happy, you don't even know.'
'I love you.'
All his words, they were all a lie. The only reason for them was because of my wealth, not me. Because of my power. The power I couldn't even control.
I had always thought that being at the top was something that made me strong. Something that came with my wealth and status. But little did I know that there was a price to being at the top. The price being the imminent promise of a fall that would completely shatter my being into minuscule shards.
And this time, I don't think I'll be able to fix the broken pieces.