One month later
I layed in bed, staring at the bottle of vodka and thinking of going out to get a new one. Nope. I'm fine here in bed. Where nobody or anything will hurt me. It was hot in though. I groaned, getting out of bed quietly, and opening the window slightly. The cool air bringing the room to life.
7:09 pm
I Sat on the bed in only a tee shirt. Maxwell next to me, sleeping his little heart out. I kissed the top of his head and played with his hair. Then, there was a knock on the door. I didn't want to answer it. I knew who it was. The landlord wanting rent. I didn't have money at the moment. Most of it was spent on liquor nowadays.
Knocking turned into banging instantly. I jumped and slipped some shorts on, making my way to the front door. I took a breath before answering it.
"Where's my rent?" He asked angrily. I sighed and scratched the back of my head.
"I need another extension. Please? I'll have money coming in next week. But until then, I'm broke." That part wasn't a lie. I really was broke. The lie was that, I wouldn't have money next week.
"This is the second extension this month. I can't keep doing this Lucy. Look, I knew Andrew. He wouldn't be happy with you." He crossed his arms. I bit my lip and nodded.
"I know. Just...I've never been late before. I'm just struggling a bit this month. Please." I asked again. He sighed and nodded.
"Fine. Just this month. If it happens again, were going to have problems."
"Of course. I'll have your money as soon as I can get it. Thank you."
He just nodded and was on his way. I locked the door and slumped down. What am I going to do? I felt my stomach turn again. I was desperate. Crawling over to the phone, I picked it up, dialing and waiting for an answer.
"Ello?"
I took a breath and spoke softly. "J...John. Please don't hang up. I...I need you. Tomorrow, central park." I said, explaining the situation. He agreed and hung up. I hated being weak. I felt like a stranger in my own skin. But I was doing this for my son. He shouldn't have to take the fall for my stupid mistakes.
..
I woke up to Maxwell pouncing on me and wanting food. I smiled and sat up, kissing his cheek.
"Come on. I'll get you some cereal."
"Mommy I want daddy!"
I sighed and brushed his hair away from his eyes. "Your daddy is in heaven now."
"Wha's dat?" He asked innocently, playing with a toy. I stayed quiet and kissed the top of his head.
"I'll tell you later. Come on, let's get something to eat."
I got out of bed, following Maxwell into the kitchen, pausing when there was a knock on the door. I froze and stared at it. Slowly approaching, unlocking and opening slightly.
"Hiya."
I sighed and opened the door. "I thought I said central park. This, is my home."
"Morning to you too Luce. I'm going to be busy later on. I figured I'd come by this morning."
"You have the money?" I asked eagerly. He handed me the envelope and sat down at the table. I opened it and counted. I paused.
"What's this? There's more than..."
"Just something to help you out. Look, I know you say you can take care of yourself and Max. But after the sound of your voice and the way you looked at me just now, I can tell ye need it more than you think you do. So just keep it."
I nodded. "Thank you. I'll pay you back. I promise."
I began grabbing eggs from the fridge as he spoke.
"You don't have to Lucy. But um, I haven't had brekky. Maybe you can..."
I smiled and shook my head. "Coming right up Lennon."
..
After I finished making food and fed Max, I sat down next to John and began eating. He just watched me and smiled to himself. I blushed, wiping my mouth.
"What?"
"Nothin." He chuckled. I made a face.
"No, tell me." I asked. He set his fork down and shook his head.
"Nah it's just...seeing us eat together just reminds me of..." he paused and stopped. "Never mind."
I took a drink of my orange juice and set the glass down. "Tell me John. I won't say anything bad."
He looked at me, blushing a little. "It reminds me of the first few days when we got married. I remember you'd come in and make me breakfast before I 'ad an interview or before a session with the mates. Remember they'd come over sometimes to make sure I showed up because I was a lazy arse. You'd give me the fuckin piss about 'aving to make breakfast for the whole bloody band."
I smiled. "You'd come out of the bedroom naked sometimes, trying to get me to join you in the shower. Paul would be so embarrassed."
"After awhile he'd just send Richard to come and check if I was coming to rehearsal or not."
"He was just tired of seeing your fuckin cock all the time." I giggled.
"Those were...good days." He sighed. I bit my lip, watching him. He noticed.
"Yes Daniels?"
I shook my head and stabbed a few of the fluffy eggs with my fork. "For a few seconds I...I saw you again. The John I used to know."
He stayed silent and took a drink of his coffee. "I haven't changed Lucy. I'm still that person."
"Then where is he? The world changes drastically John. You don't have to change with it."
He stayed silent, finishing his food. I watched him check his watch and stand up. "I 'ave to go. Breakfast was lovely. Thanks."
I followed him to the front door. "John I didn't mean to sound rude back there. I just meant..."
He pressed his finger over my lips. "Don't worry about it love. I really do have something to get to. I'll come by later yeah? If I can."
I nodded. "Thank you John. For the money, the help....the company."
He smiled and kissed my cheek.
"I'm happy to help. Bye Luce."
"Bye." I said. And with that, he left down the hall, disappearing around the corner. I sighed, shutting the door and headed to the kitchen to clean up.
..
The cool air brushed against my skin as I stepped out of the doctors office, holding Maxwell's hand. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a drag. Now I don't feel as guilty to enjoy a good cig.
I turned the corner and bumped into a tall figure. That figure happened to be John. I squeeked and held Maxwell upright as he stumbled.
"Christ John! Watch it next time!"
"Well hello to you too. I see your chipper than before. What's got your knickers in a knot?" He asked, flicking his own cigarette. I rolled my eyes.
"Well, if you must know Lennon. I just had an abortion. How's that sound?" I said storming off, carrying Max in my arms. I could hear John's footsteps catching up to me.
"Lucy I'm terribly sorry.."
"Don't be John. I figure I might as well do it before I drink itself to death."
He sighed and stood in front of me. "Lucy Come on. I really am sorry. If I would've known..."
"What? You would have been there for me? Save me the violins and sad speech Lennon. I have problems of my own going on right now." I tried walking ahead, but he blocked my path. "Move."
"No. Ye know Lucy, I haven't heard or seen ye in a bloody month. Now I dunno what kind of fuckin shit you've been getting on to. All I see now is an angry woman who won't let anyone in. The only reason I'm ere now is because you've gotten yourself in a fuckin mess and I'm here, once again to bail you out. Now you can be a bitch to me and try to run me out. But why can't you stop and realise, you need me. Face it."
I blinked and looked at him. "I don't need you John. Yes I got myself in a rut. Yes I called you because I was desperate. But I did it for my son. Not for myself, not to scheme some evil plot to see you. Just for my son." I glared at him. He stayed silent and stepped aside. I nodded and began my walk ahead, until he spoke.
"I'd still like to see ye tonight." He called out. I stopped and turned around.
"Why?" I raised my eyebrows. He shrugged.
"I dunno. Might be fun."
I thought for a few seconds. "Eight."
"Eight it is." He smiled and gave me a Nazi salute. I smiled and shook my head, resuming my walk home.
.......