I'm still in the school's clinic even after hearing the damn sound. Dohwa disappeared right in front of me before he could comfort me. Everything is back to its place. Namju must be in a new stage with Juda. Dohwa must be playing with his violin in his music class. Danoh could be in another sad stage with Kyung. And here I am sulking away. All alone in an empty room. While everyone plays out their role in this messed up world, they've absolutely forgotten that their friend had an asthma attack, was bullied by her own classmates, and is going through an emotional rollercoaster all because of one guy!
Just why am I like this? Why am I crying over Kyung who's not going to remember the conversation that we had? Why do I care so much?
And why does it hurt so bad?
"Seol? Are you still in here?" Jinmichae calls out after I hear the door to the school's clinic open.
I sighed in relief after realizing that I'm not the only one in this messed up world.
"Jinmi..." I called out softly, not caring one bit if he called me by my old name.
I hear the older boy's footsteps getting closer and right away I see his familiar blonde hair. When Jinmichae sees me, he smiled in relief but frowned when he saw my tear-stained cheeks and bloodied knuckles.
"Who did this to you?!" He asked protectively while walking over to the side of the bed.
"...Myself," I answered while wiping my tears.
Jinmichae's lips parted in surprise and he softened up a bit. "What happened? I'm all ears," He spoke up with another smile.
I looked away from him and said nervously, "It was during a stage when I got to punch someone... Um... Jinmi?"
"Yes? What is it?" The older blonde boy asked while sitting on the edge of the bed.
I sighed and looked at him. Then I asked, "Is it... Is it possible to gain control over your body during a stage?"
Jinmichae crossed his eyebrows in confusion and shock. "What do you mean, Seol? What did you do? Did you change the stage?! Please, tell me you didn't change anything-"
"I didn't," I cut while glaring at him. "Look... I don't know how I was able to control my body, but it only happened for at least 30 seconds. Then Stage Me came back and took over."
"But then I suddenly had an asthma attack," I added in, remembering what happened to me after the stage.
Jinmichae sighed and shook his head. "If you didn't change a stage, then it's alright for now. Just don't overthink this, especially with your asthma. Your body must've been under a lot of stress, emotionally and physically. That must be why you had an asthma attack earlier."
I could tell that the older boy doesn't want to believe what he heard from me, but I know deep down that he's going to help me no matter what. After all, we're the only ones who are aware, excluding Danoh.
Oh... Talking about Danoh...
"Did Danoh talk to you earlier?" I spoke up while Jinmichae stood up and walked over to the cabinets.
I hear Jinmichae laughing to himself, then he answered, "Yes, she did. She found out that she's an extra and not the female heroine. Then she went hysterical."
I laughed as I imagined my short friend yelling at Jinmichae about not being one of the leading characters of Secret. But then I stopped and sighed. "I bet she'll even be more furious when she reads her character's description in the manhwa," I exclaimed, imagining Eun Danoh cursing at the Writer for giving her such a low role.
"Oh, she was- still is," Jinmichae joins in after taking the first aid kid out of the cabinet. "I was hoping that you can see how ballistic she was earlier. She started cursing at the Writer and telling me that she'll do anything to change her fate."
"Wait... Change her fate? You mean she's going to change the stages that the Writer creates?"
Jinmichae went quiet after that and started to treat my wound. Then I asked him, "Was that why you asked me if I changed my stage earlier?"
"Seol... I mean, Ara... You have an amazing life here in Secret. Promise me that if your memories from your past life return, you won't do anything stupid and just continue on with whatever the Writer throws at you. I just hate to see you suffer again. You've lost too much as Hyun Seol, so you should gain more as Oh Ara. Promise me that. Okay?"
I smiled at my older friend and raised my right hand. "Okay, I'll promise... if you fix this up for me," I said with a joking tone, but deep down I was serious.
Jinmichae chuckles and opens up the first aid kit. Then he wipes the dried up blood on my knuckles and placed some ointment on the wound. After two more minutes, I stood up and said, "I've got classes in a few minutes, and you've gotta start cooking for lunchtime. So, go on. Skidaddle!"
Jinmichae looks at me and shakes his head while smiling, "Jeez, you sound like a mother ordering their child to eat their vegetables."
I playfully rolled my eyes at him and joked, "Well, you're not the first one that I ordered around."
"Oh? Then who did you first ordered around?"
"Obviously, the first one was my cousin. Stage Me did most of it at first. Then when I became aware of everything and myself, I started to also order Dohwa around in the Shadow and it was fun to watch. So, far it's just those two and you."
Jinmichae smiles warmly at me and out of nowhere said, "You're still... you. I thought that with a new name, you'd act and talk differently, but you're still the Hyun Seol that I know."
Then he sighs and looks away.
"I've missed you, Seol. Even when you're just standing in front of me in the kitchen or walking around the school's hallways. I've missed my friend," He exclaims with a sad voice.
"I... I don't know what to say to you, Jinmi... But once I remember everything, I promise to come back to you as Hyun Seol and Oh Ara. I'll try my best to remember what I forgot in Trumpet Creeper."
"Even the bad memories... You still want to remember those?"
I smiled at him and nodded my head. Then I walked over towards Jinmichae and stood in front of him. "Yes. So, that you won't be the only burdened one. It's better to have two people sharing the burden, rather than having only one person to carry it," I replied back, softly.
Jinmichae looked at me in surprise and then he hugged me. "Just don't leave me after you remember everything," He whispered, making me even more confused.
Why would I leave you, Jinmi? Are the bad memories... really that bad?
Art Class is my second favorite class in school. It's where I get to open up my mind as me. Oh, and it's one of those classes where I barely have any stages.
"Gosh! What is wrong with you? Get out of my way!" Iljin's voice exclaims out loud, bringing me back to my senses.
I sighed and realized that I'm in another stage, but not exactly a part of it. Should I teach Iljin another lesson? Maybe break a few of her nails, or splash a can of red paint all over her face, hair and school uni- Oh... Wait... Jinmichae made me promise him that I won't change a stage. Damn it!
I mentally groaned and looked at my good friend, Juda, in worry and guilt. Then I eavesdropped over the conversation and silently mocked Iljin and her friends on my seat.
"Juda, what is all this?" Iljin asked with a disgusted tone. "Are you going to sell this stuff?"
Juda looked uncomfortable around the three bullies while carrying a container full of art supplies. But then the teacher walked in and told everyone to sit down. I sighed in relief for my art teacher, Ms. Kwon, for showing up in time. Then I continued to watch Juda as she walked over to my cousin, who is sitting beside me, and then I gawked at the two when another bright light shined above Juda's head.
"Here," She tells him while taking out a sharpened pencil from inside the container she's carrying.
Then Juda gave me one and continued on until she finished. She took her seat beside Danoh, who is having her own share of being self-aware. Now, that Danoh knows the whole truth, I wonder if she'd still talk to me. I quietly looked away from the two and stared at my blank canvas.
"What should I draw?" I asked myself as I played with the pencil in my right hand.
Then I remembered that right knuckles are all bandaged up. Just great! How am I going to draw now?
Just as I was having a little problem with my right hand, I heard something fall behind me. I looked back and saw Juda on the ground and Danoh on her seat. I raised my left eyebrow at the two and shook my head at Danoh's antics.
"Danoh, what's wrong?" Juda asked with a surprised look, but still had a smile on her face.
Then the short-haired girl lied, "I just want to sit here. Can you move?"
Juda stood up and nodded her head. "Okay," She replies back and walks to mine and Namju's row. She takes the empty seat beside Namju and the bright light aka The Sunshine appeared above Juda's head again. I can hear Danoh irritatingly whisper to herself as she couldn't believe what was happening.
I giggled to myself and then I felt the warm air from outside entered the classroom. I see Juda's hair slowly dancing around as she tries to tie it up into a ponytail. Namju caught this and is stuck in amazement at the heroine's beauty. I had to hit his shoulder to get him back into his senses before anyone catches him staring. Namju looked at me with a flustered look and mouthed a quick 'thank you'. Then the class started.
"Danoh, would you please stand up," Ms. Kwon calls out. "What are you waiting for? You're today's model."
I looked behind me to see a surprised Eun Danoh. I smiled at her when she glances at me and then she stood up from her seat and walks to the front of the class, but before that could happen she bumps into Namju's easel and knocks over his pencil. I was just about to help Danoh stand up, but my eyes caught the two leading roles reaching out for the pencil and by mistakenly brushing their hands together.
Oh... Well, that benefited the two...
I sighed at the short romantic scene between my cousin and friend and looked back at Danoh, who is now in the center of the classroom, sitting on the chair. Then Ms. Kwon spoke up, "Everyone, please, look at Danoh." And looks to her left and asked, "Which side of her face do you see from here?"
"The left side," Everyone answered, except for the big guy sitting in the front row.
"The right side!" Park Yangyi exclaims... proudly.
I raised my left eyebrow at what he said and shook my head with Namju.
Then Lee Yangsam corrected him, "It's the left side, Pig !"
"Pig?" Yangyi replies back in shock, making everyone in the class laugh.
Then Ms. Kwon spoke up, "Pig, it's the left side." I snickered at her joining in with the joke and then she continued on with the lesson. "That's right. Also, even if you're on her left side, depending on where you're sitting she'll look a little different to all of you. It all depends on the model and how you feel about the model."
I suddenly feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, so I took it out and saw Kyung's name on my screen. I turned my head to the right to look at him and raised my left eyebrow at him with confusion written all over my face.
"What?" I mouthed when Kyung looked at me.
Then he raises his phone a little bit, making sure that Ms. Kwon won't see it and mouthed back, "Check your phone."
"...You could say that each of us is actually drawing a different person," Ms. Kwon explains as I typed in the password to my phone. "You can start!"
I quickly pressed on the messaging icon and on Kyung's text message.
Kyungie
Wanna go to the beach after school?
The beach? All of a sudden- Wait! Does he remember our conversation earlier? If he does... Then... Is he finally aware?
Arara
Sure. :)
But um why do you suddenly wanna go?
Kyungie
I just wanna hang out with a friend.
What's wrong with that?
A friend... Should I ask him if he remembers our conversation in the clinic?
Arara
No, nothing's wrong. :)
Kyungie
Good. Then let's leave right away when the school bell rings.
Okay... Now's the chance, Ara. Ask him.
Arara
Btw... Kyung, do you remember what we talked about in the school's clinic earlier today?
I hit send and waited for Kyung to reply back, but instead of feeling my phone's vibration, I heard something fall to the floor on my upper right side. I turned my head to face Baek Kyung who had dropped his phone to the floor. We both looked at each other in worry and confusion, but I doubt that we were both thinking of the same thing. Then he fakes a cough and picks his phone up.
Kyungie
No.
Why you were in the clinic?
What did you do?
Did someone hurt you?
I sighed at his text messages and replied back.
Arara
No, and no.
I had an asthma attack.
Kyungie
Huh? You did? How come I didn't hear anything from Namju or Dohwa about that?
Oh shit... Maybe I shouldn't have told him that I had an asthma attack.
Arara
Because I didn't want to worry them.
Plus, Namju is busy with his own business at the moment.
Dohwa's got to practice with his violin.
Kyungie
Okay.
Next time, if something happens to you...
Tell me.
Tell him? But he'd forget everything when another stage starts...
Arara
Thanks, Kyung. That means a lot.
I smiled and looked over at him. Then I realized that he was already looking at me before I did. My eyes went wide and I looked away from Kyung when I felt my cheeks... getting warm.
I touched them and whispered to myself, "Why am I blushing so much?"
Then my phone vibrated again. I looked at Kyung's new message and felt my heart beating fast.
Kyungie
I promise to be by your side.
Just like how you've always been since we were younger.
Why do his words sound so familiar? Have I heard them from before?
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word: 2492
A/n: jfc i went all on out with this chapter XD
doooo share your thoughts, guys! :) I wanna know what you're all thinking so far. <3
btw who you ship Ara with the most?
Kyung?
Dohwa?
Jinmichae?
*not yet edited*