CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Standing at Noah's front door, my mind was reeling from meeting my birth father. I wanted so badly to be able to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he was a good man and he would have been a good father but I couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach. We were better off without him, but there was no going back.
I heard the door open and I spun around expecting it to be Noah but instead I came face to face with his mother.
"Hi hun, are you looking for Noah?" She smiled, holding the door open for me to come inside. I quickly nodded, biting my tongue so all of my emotions wouldn't just come spilling out on her floor. "He's up in his room, you can go on up. Though I'd tread lightly, it's been a rough one for him."
I nodded again, wondering if it was something with his father. He'd been my rock through my whole adoption discovery that deep down I welcomed the chance to be able to be there for him.
I stopped in front of his closed door and knocked lightly, my hand lingering on the white painted wood.
"Mom I told you, I just want to be left alone," he huffed. My heart broke hearing the pain behind his voice. I rubbed my hand against my chest, working up the courage to speak.
I took a deep breath, "Noah it's me, can I come in?"
Shuffling pulled me closer to the door and then I heard a soft, "Yeah, come in."
My hand shook as I turned the doorknob. I felt the door open beneath my fingertips and saw Noah standing on the other side. My eyes automatically cling to his bloodshot brown eyes, that were still lingering with tears and his disheveled hair. Seeing him like that made it feel like a hand had wrapped around my heart, keeping me stuck in place.
After Noah had comforted me so many times, I found myself scared to let his emotions in. Fear was draped over me like at any minute I'd come crumbling down and then what use would I be. Snap out of it Samara! I screamed at myself and forced myself to be the person I knew he needed.
I leaped toward him and wrapped my arms around his torso, running my fingers through his hair. Tears pool in my eyes as I felt his body melt into me; his head laid on my shoulder and his hands clenched in fists around my shirt. I let us stay there, but I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong and I kept assuming the worst.
He pulled back and wiped his hands across his eyes. Hesitantly I reached up and laid my hand on his cheek. "Noah, what happened?"
"My dad can be such a prick." Noah took a shaky breath and threw his head back in frustration. "He didn't even show up to the recital today! My sister has been practicing all year, how could he not show up for her? God, it's like the only person he cares about is himself. You should have seen the look on her face when she saw the empty seat beside my mom. She was so excited for him to see her dance. He couldn't even be bothered to go!"
I'd never seen him like this before, his emotions out of control. He was usually so calculated and thought out. He let out an exasperated huff and turned away from me, laying his fist into the wall. I stood my ground, watching his shoulders rise and fall before he faltered and leaned his forehead against the wall.
"Noah," I whispered and strode toward him, rubbing his back. My hand caressed his cheek as I turned him back around to face me. "I'm here, I've got you."
Even though his hands wrapped around my waist, I still felt like I was holding him up and keeping him steady. There was a funny tickle in my heart, knowing that I was needed.
"I love you, I'm here," I repeated until he smashed his lips against mine. He didn't need to say anything, the kiss meant more than any words. It was thank you and I love you all wrapped into one. My back hit the wall as his hands moved up my body and guided me toward his bed.
I felt my breath hitch as he positioned himself between my legs and deepened the kiss. My stomach did flips, thinking about how close together we were but I was only met with excitement, not nerves. I couldn't help but think that this was the way I always wanted to feel, the way Noah made me feel. His hands slid underneath my shirt and traced my bare stomach, sending shivers up my spine.
"I love you, Samara," he breathed and trailed kisses down my face, from my forehead and down to my chin. He broke away, leaving my heart aching to feel that closeness again, but I bit my lip. The whirlwind of emotions that I was feeling, I assumed he was too.
Instead, I reached for his hand. "It's his loss if he doesn't want to get to know you and your sister, it's on him."
He nodded, scuffing his foot against the wood flooring.
"Shit, I never asked you how lunch went. How was meeting your birth father?" He sat down beside me and placed a hand on my knee.
I sighed, "It was pretty similar to how meeting my birth mother went. He just seems so young to me Noah. Like, I'd like kids in the future but I know I'm not in a place right now where I could support them. Yet after having us and going through our adoption, he didn't learn from it. He decided that it was perfectly fine to have more kids and make the same mistake again. Twice."
He inched closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "You don't have to see him again if you don't want to. It's your choice."
"Yeah..." I trailed off, my voice starting to give out. "I just keep thinking how much better off Cameron and I are because we got adopted. Is that crazy?"
Noah shook his head. "No, not at all. You grew up with two loving parents who supported you and cared for you. Blood doesn't make family, love does."
I bumped his shoulder with mine. "What does that make us then?" He smiled and kissed me gently, moving his arm down around my waist.
A knock at the door made me jump back just as it slowly opened. Noah's mom poked her head in as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. His hand settled steadily on my back, making me relax. "Just wanted to make sure everything was okay in here. Dinner is ready if you'd like to come down. Samara, you're welcome to stay if you'd like."
I glanced at Noah. The last thing I wanted to do was to overstep. It was a silly thought because I knew deep down that he'd want me to stay. He gave me a small nod before I put a smile on my face and looked back at Ms. Wayland. "Sure, I'd love to."
Noah stood and reached for my hand, entwining our fingers before following his mom downstairs. I followed close behind as he walked into the kitchen. The table was already set with food dished up on each plate. He guided me to the table and pulled out the seat beside his.
I gulped, looking at the pile of food on my plate but my mom's voice echoed in my mind, just eat what you can darling. Noah's sister, Kira walked into the room, the hood of her dance sweatshirt up over her head. I imagine that she had similar thoughts to Noah after her father didn't show up at her recital. I wished that I knew her better, so I knew what to say to her.
"Kira take your hood down please and come sit down. Samara decided to join us for dinner, isn't that nice?" Mrs. Wayland locked eyes with me and smiled, seemingly thankful for my presence.
Kira nodded and complied. "Yeah, it's been a while."
"Noah, would you say grace?" she suggested.
Noah reluctantly agreed and entwined our fingers underneath the table. His tongue swiped across his lips before he spoke. "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly grateful, amen."
"Amen," Mrs. Holden and Kira said in union.
My family was the kind who went to church on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter and said we were Catholic but never practiced. After all the hardship, I had some problems with a God who would let bad things happen.
Mrs. Holden clapped her hands together, bringing me from my thoughts. "Alright, everyone dig in."
Just as I picked up my knife and fork, I heard the front door open. Noah's head shot up and his hand tightened around mine. My teeth sunk into my lip as his dad walked into the kitchen, laying his briefcase on the island table. All eyes were on him, except for Kira's. She was looking at Noah, waiting to see what he was going to do or say before judging how she should react.
"See mom? He looks fine, not in the hospital or in a ditch somewhere." Noah's voice was slick with sarcasm.
Mr. Holden gave Noah a warning glance before turning to his daughter. "I'm sorry I missed your recital, something came up."
"What? What came up?" Noah stood suddenly, dropping my hand. His chair screeched against the floor and his fists landed firmly on the table. "What could possibly have been more important than your daughter? Huh?"
"There was an emergency at work Noah, I-"
Noah shook his head, chuckling at his excuse. "I call bull. I've heard it a thousand times before. There's always a goddamn emergency, isn't there? Delegate, tell them you're busy. I don't know! Just show up."
"People were relying on me-"
"We were relying on you! Kira was relying on you." Noah rounded the table and looked his father in the eye. "Don't you even care? Work isn't the most important thing in the world when your daughter sincerely thinks that you don't like her because you never show up! You've done it to me my whole life and that's fine. But I won't let you do it to her!"
"Is that the way you feel Kira? You know that I love you and that I'll take care of you." Mr. Holden couldn't see Kira's shoulders shake or the tears streaming down her cheeks, but I could.
"How would we ever know that? Were we supposed to guess? It's not like you tell us every night like mom, or even bother to pretend like you have an interest in our lives," Noah fumed.
"Yes I work, but I do it to support this family. I've supported your world and hers, don't you dare question it. Who do you think paid for all of those dance lessons? Answer me that." Mr. Holden resorted. Noah was quiet, but I felt like the lid was yet to blow off. "You're a kid Noah. You aren't responsible for anyone, you live off my dime."
"Not for much longer, I'm moving out in the fall and going to college." Noah finally said it and suddenly it was so quiet you would have been able to hear a pin drop.
"The food tastes delicious Mrs. Holden." I tried to defuse the situation, shoving a piece of chicken in my mouth but I was unsuccessful.
"And how are you going to pay for that? Because it won't be with my money."
Warmth spread from my cheeks and then throughout my body. At first, I thought maybe it was from the stress of watching the fight but as my throat began to feel tight, I knew something was wrong.
"I'll fucking figure it out," I heard Noah mutter under his breath.
"What was that?" His dad pressed.
"I said, I'll figure it out!"
I wiped my palms on my pant legs, trying to steady my shaking hands. I was having an allergic reaction. A hand touched my arm and Mrs. Holden knelt down beside me. "Samara, what's wrong honey?"
"I- I'm allergic to tree nuts."
Thanks for reading!
I hope you enjoyed this very intense chapter of The Truth About Us and that you are all healthy and safe. I've found myself with so much more time to write and after school is finished I think I'll be able to update regularly until the end of the story.
Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and what you think is next to come in the comments down below. Will Samara be alright? What will Noah's father do after his big revelation?
xx Allie