Daya's POV
Trisha, Leona, and Keisha otherwise known as the cover ladies of the sixties are dressed in their turquoise sparkling dresses going over lines and laughing backstage at the Simone. People are filing in, and Dani, Vince, and I are all sitting backstage outside of the small almost stall room where mom is supposed to be changing. I'm still in my jeans and t shirt as mom told me not to change until the last minute. She didn't say it, but I know if I get this dress that sits in one of those fancy dress holder things stained she's going to be on my ass. And I think she is already in a mood because I'm wearing my white converse all stars and instead of those ballet shoes that squeeze my toes, but then have the audacity to fall off when I walk too fast.
"Janelle? You good in there?" Leona asks.
It's weird hearing my mom being called something else, beside mom, mommy, or ma, and it takes me a minute to realize my mom is still changing. It may be a beautiful golden dress, but the performance is going to start soon although I'm sure some folks are going to be CP time.
"I'm.. I'm fine," my mom mumbles through the door.
Vince raises his eyebrows while he looks at his phone. "You sure, about that, you know I can zip you up if you want, and Vicki is on her way," he says.
"Im fine Vince," mom mumbles again. Basically saying she's not fine. "I just need some time." Basically saying she needs someone to check on her. I've been studying screenwriting, I know how and dialogue and subtext works.
"Dani can you go and check on mom," Vince says not bothering to look at me.
Dani who is not looking away from her phone shakes her head. "No, I need to finish reading this," she says.
"You're reading?" Vince and I both ask in unison.
Dani doesn't look and Trisha, Leona, and Keisha sing a loud, "Oh, no, darlin, no wind, no rain," from there corner of the dressing room.
Dani's number one app on her phone is youtube and if the girl could choose she would probably stop doing everything and become a hash brown on our couch. Reading? Now this is new, maybe dad set those screen time limits on her phone, but then again she seems smart enough to just click ignore limit for today.
"Yes? I'm reading," she states with no emotion or eye contact at all.
"May I ask what?" I ask.
Dani rolls her eyes and does one of those annoying groans. "Don't get mad." Is she reading erotica? She couldn't be you can't read erotica and keep a straight face especially if you're a preteen.
I nod and Dani's about to speak, but Vince effortlessly takes her phone out her hand which is something I thought he stopped doing when Mona told him it was one of the actions he does to gain control.
"Lets see, you're reading.... why are you on final draft? You're reading Sad and Fun, B- oh," Vince looks at me and begins laughing to himself. "She's reading your script," he says and Dani tries her best not to look my way.
Dani lets out a groan. "God Vince you're so annoying, yes Daya I've been reading your pilot script, it's good clearly a self insert, but you're actually good at something besides changing for boys. I mean I guess you're good at this," Dani says.
"You think my writing is good," I say.
I finished my script during me and Ziyah's breakup and it honestly is filled with too much drama and description which is why I never really went back to it.
"Yeah I do," Dani snaps.
I want to give her a hug, but it's better for both of us that I start getting concerned on what mom is doing.
"Mom are you ok?" I ask getting up and walking towards the door of the little changing room she's in.
I put ear close to the door which is my attempt at trying to hear the truth and not any of her "I'm fine," lies. "Umm, umm, I'm just sending an email, I'll be done in like 10 minutes. Just go back to what you were doing Daya and check in with your dad." The way her voice is so clear I think she has her head close to the door too, and I head back to her seat.
As I sit down I notice the ladies have stopped singing and Leona is talking to a tall man who is holding the hands of a little girl. The guy sees Vince, Dani, and I and Leona turns around with a big smile. "Oh these are Janelle's kids, Daya, Vince, and Dani. You guys this is my daughter-"
"Daya!" A familiar voice screams and Sascha P comes rushing towards me. She's a little taller and has exchanged her light up sketchers for a pair of pink converse like mine.
"I guess you guys already know each other," Leona says as Sascha squeezes me like those ballet flats.
"Yeah Aunt Le Le, she watched me after school, remember I told you about the girl who looked like she was judging people all the time, yeah this is her, isn't she pretty?" Hmm well... she's not really wrong, I did spend a good amount of time judging people whether it was at school or at Olive Garden. I don't do it as much anymore, but sometimes bitches be actin crazy and throwing breadsticks and you can't help but judge them.
The man Sascha came with leaves and Sascha stands by the chair I'm sitting in rambling about all that she's done this summer, which is a bit more than I've been doing. The girl has a whole ass schedule and playdates every week where she gets to reap the benefits of running around someone else's house and not obeying their rules. What a life.
The women's voices have stopped serenading us and my mom still remains in her changing room "Sending an email," which is now being noticed by Trisha, Leona and Keisha.
"Janelle are you sure, you're ok you got to join in on these warm ups, you don't want to go out there all rusty," Leona says. She stands in the same place I did talking to the door before shaking her head and walking back to her seat.
I get up and go back to leaning against the door with Sascha skipping behind me. "Mom, come on I know you are not ok," I say making Sascha cock her head to the side.
Almost knocking my head off the door opens and my mom pokes her head out. Hr face is tear stained, and the makeup that she and the girls spent so much time on is smashing together. I'm actually quite glad Sascha is staring down Vince and not looking at my mom who couldn't look any... weaker.
She tries to push out syllables, but it only takes second for Sascha and I to be in the dressing room with her as she tries to hold back tears while wearing a dress that's unzipped.
"What's wrong you can't be sad in that dress," Sofia says. She gets close to reaching for a sparkle, but my mom backs away and tires to clean up her scattered makeup.
Through her tears she begins to speak. "Daya, I can't do this, I can't go out there and sing, I'm going to look stupid, and I'm not .... twenty anymore, and I it's not fair I can't do this we have to go," she cries. She reaches for her purse, but I stop her and lightly hold her hand.
"Mom everything is going to be ok, don't you want to feel what you did twenty years ago?" I ask and let go of her hand.
She shakes her head and moves one of her bouncy curls out of her face. "No Daya I can't."
Sascha who I almost forgot about leans in and whispers, "Let me have a shot." I look down at her, but she's already standing in front of my mom with her hands on her hips. I want to stop her and explain my mom's sensitive state, but as my mom looks at Sascha her tears seem to be going away.
"Are you really not going to go out there? You're wearing that beautiful dress and from what my auntie said you can sing, which means you've got to go out there and sing your heart out. You think Diana Roose pulled this?" Sascha snaps.
"It's Diana Ross," I whisper while she's still in her zone.
Sascha continues. "Diana Ross, I meant," she says.
Mom looks from me to Sascha and I think I sense a smile as we stare each other over the sound of Sascha's noisy barrets.
"Sascha do you think you can give me and my mom a moment," I say.
Sascha nods and heads out the door. "When I'm done with my juicebox I wanna hear some singing," she shouts on the way out.
When she's gone I begin picking up my mom's makeup supplies and with a bit of reluctance on my mom's side I begin staring into her eyes and fixing her face. This task takes a tremendous amount of eye contact especially when I wipe the tear and blush stains off her cheeks.
"I'm sorry about everything Daya," are the only words she says when I zip up her golden dress.
"It's fine, you're going to do great," I say.
With that we exit the small room and everyone applauds before I head back in and change into the white dress that won't be put to much use since it's not like I'm the one singing. The dress slides on my body and I can't help but remember my mom's words as I look in the mirror. You're beautiful and I feel this way, but not just because I'm wearing a dress. I love my jeans and t shirts, and that won't change.
"Oh my god," Vince says when I walk out of the dressing room.
"You look good," Dani states and my body begins to heat up with all the eyes on me.
"Thank you," I say.
Mom goes with her girls and Vince, Dani, Sascha, and I walk out to the club which is packed with all people I know and some I don't. My dad's here, Kayla's here, Alyssa's here, and most importantly sitting at one of the brown tables is Ziyah looking good as usual. His eyes meet mine in a second and I walk towards him as Vince goes to Vicki and Dani goes to dad. We have a little moment to rekindle as they have to rehearse with mom.
Ziyah gets up and licks his lips. "Damn you look good," he says once Sofia and Lucas are out of earshot. Sofia actually isn't paying attention to me and
My arms naturally fall around his neck and Ziyah begins to look me up and down. My first thought, is so I didn't look good before, but I know that's not what he means as Ziyah plays with one of my braids.
"Thank you so do you," I say and lean in to give him a kiss that he fully accepts.
A loud cough makes us depart and of course it comes from my dad in the front row who has Sawyer on his lap. With his eyes on us Ziyah pulls out a seat for me and Lucas doesn't look at me not because he's mad, but because he can't stop looking at Alyssa who is sitting across the club/cafe laughing at something Cayce said. I'm not worried about him though and instead my and everyone's attention goes to the stage where my mom and the girls appear shining in their dresses. My mom looks like a total different person lacking all the sadness that she had 15 minutes ago, and she looks like she's 20 again and in one of her photo albums. They start off the night with Please Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes and carry the whole crowd through songs that came out before must of us were born, but all know. My mom's voice is extremely powerful and put to better use when when she's not yelling or crying. If I say so myself she has the best vocals of the group and I can really tell when she sings her solo for Darling Baby by the Elgins.
I think I might cry, but luckily I don't as Ziyah takes hold of my hand which I don't need, but I think he does as his mom used to sing the song on her bathroom floor.
Looking around the club I do have a reason to cry tears of joy as everyone I know from My dad to the girls I met at film school are in the same place looking at my mom who is smiling and erasing the memory of her hurting me. It will come back sometime, but wearing this dress, listening to this music, and holding Ziyah's hand I couldn't be happier. I look over at Ziyah and like always he brushes one of my braids out of my face. And I'm fine with the fact it's going to fucking fly right back in front of my eyes.