Oh boy. It was real. And you were more than sure. Because not only did it feel like in the dream but it was much better.
You felt your hands make their way around his neck as if they had a mind of their own, because yours, certainly, was completely blank. You could not think of anything else. Anything else but his lips on yours. And did you like that thought.
His other hand made its way to rest on your hip and you felt yourself leaning back to the couch. Soon you were laying on it, him on of you. But you did nothing about it, just kept kissing him. Your whole body seemed to have a mind of its own, refusing to do anything to stop him.
He pulled away just for a mere second to catch his breath, looking at your swollen lips and half closed eyes, and then closed the distance once again, kissing you with all his passion and love. And he felt as if his body had a mind of its own too, because not matter how much he wanted to contain himself and not cross the limits, his hand moved from your hip to your waist and then under your shirt. He could not comprehend what he was doing, his mind was completely blank, the only thing there, was you kissing him. But obviously his body needed to feel yours as his hand did not stop even a second and pushed your shirt further up.
However, as soon as his skin touched yours, your eyes widened in realization and gathering all your will you pushed him back and stared at him with wide eyes, a shocked expression on your face.
He looked at you quizzically for a while but immediately realized why you had pushed him away and his eyes widened too.
"Oh shit" he mumbled, running a hand down his face "(Y/n) I'm sorry I didn't mean to push you further, I-" he started but you cut him off.
"No, I-I am sorry Mr. Winchester. We- You- I-" you stuttered and then took in a shaky breath, fixed your shirt and got up, away from him.
"No, (y/n). Please" he looked at you with pleading and hurt eyes, taking a few steps towards you and you took a few steps back.
"You are my teacher. You- you are friends with my father." you said putting a hand on your forehead "Oh my God, my father. If he ever found out he-" you stopped mid-sentence putting a hand on your mouth.
"(Y/n) please" Dean pleaded once again "I want to be with you" he whispered and you turned to look at him abruptly.
You could not help but feel your heart flutter and fill with joy, just by hearing him say it, by looking him in the eyes and seeing that he truly meant it. He approached you slowly and before you cold realize it he was inches apart, a soft smile on his lips at seeing you not back away from him.
"Please" he whispered once again, eyes soft and pleading.
You looked at him, wanting more than anything to give in, to be with him, to lean in as he did, now, to kiss him and let him hold you and-
"No!" you pushed him away and you gathered all your will not to take it back, at seeing the look of hurt on his face. It literally broke your heart. But you had to.
"You're married!" you told him "You're married and your wife- your wife loves you. And so do you" you spoke and he cut you off.
"No! Not anymore!" he protested but you maintained your opinion.
"Yes, yes you do! You do and should do. She is your wife. I-" you swallowed the lump in your throat "I am nothing. And will never be anything for you" you tried to say firmly, although you felt tears welling up in your eyes, so you did the only thing you could to hide them.
You run away.
You run to the door and grabbing your house's keys you run to it, ignoring Dean's voice calling your name.
"(Y/N)!" he shouted as you run but you ignored him.
He run after you but was not able to catch up with you as you reached your house, getting in and locking the door behind you. Unable to stand on your feet you collapsed to the ground behind the door, sobs shaking your whole body.
"(Y/n), please. Open the door." Dean's pleading voice was heard at the other side of the door "Please" he said, voice cracking, and you felt more tears run down your cheeks at hearing the pain in his voice.
A few more sobs escaped your throat and you had to put a hand in front of your mouth to contain yourself.
After what felt an eternity of Dean being outside the door, knocking and pleading for you to open, he stopped. And that because, as he told you, your father arrived. You heard Dean tell him that he just escorted you to your house and was just leaving, and obviously your father believed him. You heard the keys on the door and immediately run upstairs to your room, getting to your bathroom and turning the shower on, so that you father would think you were having a bath and would not question your uncontrollable sobbing and crying.
~~~
Ans that's how it began.
That night your father did not question your red eyes because he simply did not see them. You told him you were really tired and went early to bed.
The next day you did not go to school and told your father as well as Caroline, who called to check up on you, that you were not feeling alright. But then another day passed. And another. And another and you still had to go to school. You still had to see him.
And although your father seemed to believe you, since you never lied to him, Caroline did not which is why she visited you straight after school that Thursday. And knowing Caroline, and the fact that she would not stop bugging you if you did not tell her what was wrong, you told her everything.
She stared at you, for a while, wide-eyed and mouth agape "You're kidding me right?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
"No, Car, I'm not" you let out a sigh and looked down, hugging your pillow closer to yourself.
"And you just pushed him away?!" she asked and you nodded, slowly.
"Seriously?!" she said and you looked up at her, frowning.
"What do you mean?" you asked.
"What do I mean? (Y/n) really? I mean, look at yourself" she gestured to you "You're a wreck. And all of that just because of your damn guilt. And for what reason, hm?"
"He's my teacher and married" you said in a low voice.
"Screw school and screw his wife!" she said.
"Caroline it's not that simple-" you started but she cut you off.
"No, (y/n), it is!" she said in a firm voice "You've known Dean for a long time and he- he would never do or say something that he does not mean! Damn it (y/n) how can you not see that he is in love with you, how can you not see the way he looks at you when you are not, how can you not realize with how much love and care he speaks to you, especially when he is worried about you. And how can you not realize what a wreck you've become without him, how helpless you are without him, or how your eyes brighten up when you speak with him. How can you not realize how much in love you are with him?! HOW!?" she rambled and took a few deep breaths once she finished.
You looked down at your hands, knowing that what Caroline was saying was completely true and that you wanted more than anything to be with him. But at the same time you were filled with guilt.
"(Y/n)" Caroline spoke in a more soft voice, putting a hand on your shoulder "Don't think about it, don't think about anything. Follow you heart. He loves you. You love him. That simple. Come on now, I know you will do the right thing" she said with a soft smile which you returned.
Your decision was now made.
~~~
You walked with Caroline by your side, hugging your books tightly to your chest, as you both made your way to the school. You hesitated for a while once you reached the door, looking at it, afraid to even take a step ahead. Caroline noticed your nervousness and put a hand on your shoulder. You looked at her, as she gave you a comforting smile, and you nodded smiling slightly as well. You took in a deep breath and took a steps ahead walking straight inside, Caroline following.
Not many students had come but still the halls of the school were almost full of them. And despite all these students your eyes landed upon him. And so did his.
Sam who was next to him gave him a puzzled look but as soon as he followed his gaze he realized what was happening.
You quickly broke your gaze, clearing your throat, and continued walking. And soon you approached him.
"Good-morning" Caroline said for both of you, as you just gave them a small smile and then looked back down at your books.
Dean did not say anything, he merely looked at you, with both adoration, love, worry and fear.
Sam, who saw his brother's stare, elbowed him and Dean looked at him and then back at you, remembering the talk he had with his brother earlier.
He cleared his throat and spoke "Oh uh uhm (y/n)-" he started but found unable to speak the moment you looked up at him with your (e/c) eyes.
He cleared his throat once again and regaining his posture he spoke "Can I talk to you after your first period?" he asked, afraid of what answer he would get.
You gave Caroline a small glance and then looked at him "Of course" you gave a small nod.
Dean looked a little shocked, not expecting you to say yes, but then smiled a little and nodded.
Once the bell rang you made your way to your first class for the day and waited for it to end. Wishing for it to be over quickly and at the same time to last as long as possible.
When the bell rang, you gathered your things, and looked at Caroline, who gave an encouraging smile, and taking a deep breath you got out of the class and made your way to his office.
You reached his office and taking a deep breath you knocked on the door.
After a few seconds the door opened by Dean himself and you both stood there looking at each other, eyes locked. This time he broke his gaze and, clearing his throat, he invited you in.
Closing the door he came closer to you and leaned against his desk, where he motioned for you to leave your books.
"You said you wanted to speak to me?" you asked in a calm voice.
"Uhm yeah yeah." he cleared his throat "Are you- are you ok? I mean you did not come to school the whole week and you father told me that you were not feeling good."
"Yeah, I was not feeling really well. But I'm better now" you said looking at his worried face and gave him a small smile.
"O-ok. So I wanted to talk to you about- I mean I wanted to talk with you for- I mean- I-" he stuttered.
"Damn this is hard" he run a hand down his face.
"Ok so let me try again" he started again, taking in a deep breath "What happened. Between you and me. Between us. I- I don't regret it. And I meant what I said to you. I know you might think that this might be just some phase. A break from my routine as a husband, but it's not (y/n). And I know you might feel guilty for Lisa, so do I, but (y/n) the way you make me feel is- it is unique. Lisa does not make me feel that way, she never did in fact. There is nothing between her and me anymore. A- and if I have to feel guilty for betraying her then so be it. As long as I have you in my arms then nothing else matters to me. Because I want you, (y/n). Very much. And I don't care about anything else but you. Not school, not Lisa not even Kieran. Because I- I, damn, I'm in love with you (y/n)! I'm in love with you and won't give up on it so easily!" he finished, taking deep breath, his hands gripping on your shoulders.
You looked at him with an almost cold expression, but a definitely blank one, not moving and just looking him in the eyes. Him looking back at you. Hope in his green eyes, pleading for you to say something. Which you didn't. So he slowly and hesitantly started pulling his hands away from your shoulders, his gaze falling to the ground.
"But... you obviously are not" he mumbled, looking to the ground forth and back.
But before he could pull his hands to his side completely he felt a hold on them. He looked up to see you holding them. Your expression the same as before. He looked at you wondering what was going on but before he could open his mouth he saw your gaze soften and then a warm smile appearing on your face.
"I am... I am" you said in a low voice, softly and sincerely and before he could say anything, you put a hand on his chest the other cupping his cheeks and closed the remaining space between you.
Dean's eyes were wide for a while but then realized what was happening.
You were kissing him. You were kissing him.
After having admitted that you felt the same way he did.
A smile appeared on Dean's face and as soon as he felt your soft lips pull away from his, he grabbed you by your waist, another hand on the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You smiled into the kiss as he began to kiss you back, the small peck you had given him soon turning into a more passionate one.
Nothing could be heard for a few seconds, just the small sounds of the two of you kissing but then-
"Hey Ric, do you happen to know where my dear husband is?"
"Uhm, yes, in his office right there, Lisa"