The bright sunshine of the morning was only a distant memory now. While we had stayed in the mill, the sky had grown overcast, filled with clouds the colour of the fur of the wolf waiting for us under the trees of the nearby forest. A cool pinkish-grey, a hue holding a promise of new snow. It felt colder too.
I pulled my hood up and stretched the soft fur cuffs of the sleeves of my coat over my hands, as far as they would go.
"Are you ready to go home?" Junior asked as we crossed the stone bridge and reached the narrow road. "Or do you want to visit Bran?"
I looked down the steep rocky slope towards the place where I could see the first roofs of the small village peeking through the intertwined naked branches of the frost-bitten forest. It was picturesque, without a doubt-- the dark stone houses that huddled close together under their snow-capped roofs looked like an iced gingerbread village. It was still far, though; it would take quite a long time to reach the village and then even longer to get back home, all the way up the steep hill.
No. Knowing that Vlad was not in Bran, going down there seemed pointless. But I didn't feel like going back to the castle either. Not yet.
"How about a walk in the forest?" I proposed.
"Why not? Have you been to the lake lately?"
I shook my head no; before he mentioned it, I hadn't even remembered the lake. But now that he said that... "The one by the old chapel?"
"Do you remember it, then?"
"Of course I do!" How could I forget, I thought, trying to free my mind from the avalanche of fresh memories caused by his mentioning the small forest lake.
We rode up the hill in the direction of the castle for a while, then Junior led his horse off the road, following a trail disappearing under the trees, into the forest. It was so narrow that we couldn't speak. I let Frost walk behind Junior's horse at his own pace, intent on protecting my clothes from getting caught on the low branches growing too close to the trail, making it look even narrower. Finally, the path grew wider, allowing us to ride side by side. Junior slowed down, waiting for me to catch up with him.
"You did well with Clara's father," he said when I reached him.
"Do you think he will manage, left on his own?" I couldn't get the image of the man, all alone in his mill, out of my mind.
"I guess he will finally get someone to help him with the work, now that he knows for sure who Clara chose as her future husband. I can't imagine Ioan as a miller, can you?" he asked, sounding bemused by the idea.
"No," I said, trying to picture the young Captain carrying sacks full of grains to the mill and bags of freshly ground flour to the village. "Who is he, this Ioan? I don't remember him from... before."
"You two have never met before. We grew up together and were changed at the same time. Ioan is the second son of Count Voicu de Hunedoara. He was in the army before he joined Father's Guard," Junior informed me, pulling the reins of his horse tighter to prevent him from strolling off the trail in pursuit of a nearby patch of frozen grass.
"So you know him well?" I asked, following his example with a quick pull of the reins, as Frost seemed to have the same idea.
"He is my best friend, Samara. I know how much he loves the girl, he will look after her well," he assured me.
"What will they do now?"
"Surely they will announce their engagement soon. Then, at some point, they will have to speak to the Council, hoping they will be allowed to get married. If all goes well, they will have children, most likely," he mused, smiling, as if he was imagining his friend as a father.
"Will he... change her?" I asked, remembering all the things Clara's father had said, how he wanted her to stay human. At least for the moment.
"Clara is very impatient and stubborn. She is not making it easy for him, you know? If it was for her, she would be one of us already. But knowing Ioan, he will try to keep her human as long as he can resist her," Junior said, grinning.
"Well, that would please her father; he wants her to stay human. But isn't it kind of inconvenient for a vampire, to marry a human? To have one of us so close, I mean," I asked with growing curiosity.
"Inconvenient?" He laughed at my choice of words. "Tempting, you mean? No, not for those like us-- me, Ioan, my father... Not all the vampires are the same, Samara."
"I know that! Of course, I can see how different you are from the others," I said. You don't even have fangs!
We rode in silence for a while; I needed some time to consider how to word my next question. Should I ask? Will he make fun of me? Oh, whatever. I wanted to know.
"If Clara stays human, then she will grow older and Ioan... he will stay so young forever... right?"
"You've been thinking about it already, I knew it," Junior said, lips curling into a smile.
He could be so annoying sometimes. I shouldn't have asked. My hurt feelings must have shown on my face because after a short while, he added, "I'm sorry, Samara. I'll behave, I promise. It just seems that most of you, human girls, are more scared of growing old than being changed and risking your lives in the process. Humans are so very delicate, they usually die during the transition," he added gently. "You have no idea how dangerous it is."
If he wanted to scare me, he was doing well. I swallowed hard before asking, "How does it work, then? Explain."
"Have you asked Father about it? Has he told you it's probably how you died that time?" he asked, his voice rising slightly as if he was talking to a small, frustrating child.
"Is that what he thinks?" I asked, surprised.
"Yes. He wasn't here when it happened, but from what those who found you told him, yes."
"I had no idea. And I asked him to change me," I murmured, feeling suddenly guilty and vain.
I was so absorbed in our conversation that I didn't realise we were nearly at our destination. The calm surface of the lake shone and glittered through the trees in front of us, a veil of fog lifting slowly off the deep blue water, revealing its perfect beauty. I jumped off my horse and continued walking towards the bank, leaving Junior to deal with the animals.
Why ever did I ask Vlad to change me? Did I unintentionally make him relive all the pain again? I couldn't know, of course...
Wrapping my arms tightly around my body, I started pacing along the shore, quite oblivious to the ethereal beauty of the place. I was mad at myself and cold and scared... I missed him.
"Did I say something wrong?" Junior's voice reached me from somewhere behind.
I stopped and sat down on a fallen tree trunk. It was huge and ancient, completely covered with thick green moss. Junior sat down next to me, and I noticed that his eyes were the same colour of the lush moss. And with a sudden sharp pang in my heart, I noticed how similar they were to his father's.
I mustn't look in his eyes, I thought, looking over the lake. I had no idea what time it was, but it was getting dark quite fast. Vlad will be back soon. I closed my eyes, craving his proximity, his words, his touch...
"You are so... unexpected, Samara," Junior said after a while. "You come back after centuries remembering next to nothing about your life here. You find the man you used to love, but greatly changed-- he is a vampire. And instead of running for the hills, you immediately ask him to change you, make you a monster like himself!"
"He is not a monster, and even if he was, I wouldn't care. And you are very wrong. It's not true that I 'used to' love him. I love him still. I've never stopped loving him, and I don't want to lose him again!" I couldn't talk about him anymore lest I would start crying.
"Hush," Junior said, wiping a single traitorous tear off my cheek. "I know you love him. I didn't mean to upset you. Everything will be alright."
"You know we got married here? That," I said pointing towards what looked like a large pile of rubble on the other side of the lake, "used to be a chapel."
The place was still charming, even in winter and with its ancient chapel half ruined. The water of the lake was frozen around the edge where the shallows met the solid ground, but the centre was still free of ice. Even as I watched, large snowflakes started to fall from the strangely pink sky and in the perfect silence of the forest I imagined hearing their muffled thud where they hit the snow-covered ice, and the silent hiss where they melted in the water.
"I know, Father told me about it. I was married in the castle. The priest wouldn't let a vampire set foot in his chapel. Luckily, Elisa agreed to have me nonetheless."
"You have been married?" I asked incredulously, "But..." Where is his wife?
"Elisa passed away a long time ago," he said with his startling ability to answer my unspoken questions. "I was too much of a coward to keep my wife with me, I waited too long. You see, she wanted a child. Even though I was scared, I would have tried to change her... at least I think so... once our child was born. But she nearly died in childbirth. She never recovered completely, and I knew I would kill her if I tried changing her then; she was too weak. She died when our son was five. And he, Mircea, left when he was fifteen. My son gave me the blame for his mother's death; he didn't want to have anything to do with me or the other vampires."
"Wasn't he a vampire too? You were a vampire when you had him, right?"
He nodded. "My son was a half-vampire. His mother was a human like you. Clara and Ioan's children, if they decide to have any, will be like that as well," he said.
This was extremely interesting. "The women, once they become vampires... they can't have children anymore," I concluded, "that's why you waited for Elisa..."
"Yes," he breathed, his voice unutterably sad. I couldn't even imagine how desolate his long life must have been.
"Have you ever fallen in love again? After Elisa?"
"Have you ever loved someone except for my father, Samara? In your other life, in the place you come from?" he answered with a question.
"I... think so," I said truthfully, thinking of William. I loved him once. But it was over; my infatuation for him died as fast as it was born. William just wasn't the right person for me.
"How was it?" Junior asked, looking at me curiously.
"Well, looking back at it now, that 'love' was nowhere near the feelings I have for your father. Maybe it wasn't love at all."
"I know what you mean. You see, when you find someone who seems destined for you and then you lose them, one part of you dies. A part of your heart. And any 'love' you encounter after is only a faint echo of what your heart used to be capable of once, when it was whole."
He looked so forlorn and desperate that I wanted to comfort him but didn't know how. So I just sat still next to him, pretending not to see the despair lurking in the corners of his beautiful eyes.
"Luckily, you have it the other way round. You found your real love now, and he is yours to keep if you want him. You won't have to content yourself with the echo of the real thing." He stared at the ruined chapel for a while, and when he looked back at me, his face was as calm and composed as ever. "You two are destined to be together," he said, musing, "even the blind would see that."
The thick trunks of the trees towering above us grew dense with shadow; it was getting late. It was snowing so hard now that a few snowflakes made it all the way down through the thick web of branches and dry leaves still stubbornly sticking to their native twigs, landing in Junior's hair. I laughed and brushed them off, breaking the tension that set over us after our talk. He looked at me, eyebrows raised in surprise.
"The white in your hair. It doesn't suit you. It makes you look old."
"I am old Samara," he said, shaking his head. "I feel very tired sometimes." He was still sad but smiled at me nonetheless. "We should go back before it gets dark."
Junior stood up and went to fetch the horses. They managed to find a patch of grass under one of the trees and made loud protests at being led away.
As if reminded by their behaviour about something, Junior suddenly exclaimed, "I forgot, you were supposed to eat something for lunch! Why didn't you say anything? You must be hungry! And freezing, too," he added as our hands touched briefly when he handed me Frost's reins. "Father told me to look after you and instead..." He looked so upset, so disappointed with himself that it made me laugh again.
"Don't worry, I'm not hungry. I promise I'll eat my supper," I said, giggling, following him along the trail disappearing among the thick undergrowth in the direction of the castle.
Junior had given me a lot to think about and so we rode home in silence only interrupted by the muffled sound of hoof beats on fresh snow and the low rustle of dead leaves caused by Shadow, who, faithful to his name, was still pursuing us.