I hadn't forgotten about Tobin. Not yet. Unfortunately or rather, accidentally, I bumped into her again at the same club that our first meeting had occurred at. Bumped into is a rather loose term, I clocked her from across the club dancing with another girl, I had watched them for a little while before getting mad and drinking a few more shots. Rather than forget and stay away from here, I found myself asleep in her bed at six O'clock the next morning. She was sleeping soundly on the couch when I woke up, how did I even get here?
I had a class to attend at nine so I intended on writing a note on some paper towel with a sharpie and make my way to my room to shower and eat. I began to scribble messily on the paper "Thank you for looking after me despite my behaviour these last couple of days. Noticed you had a phone pal too, hope they are treating you better than I am"
I left the note on her bed after wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, it was cold out and she'd only slept in a large shirt and boxers, I felt a little bit guilty. I tried desperately to remember last night, it was unusual for me to go out on a Friday night, especially since I had an extra tutor class on Saturday mornings. Nonetheless, I was certainly feeling the after effects of a long night. The one thing I remembered was the girl dancing with Tobin, I could still see her grinding on her, every time I shut my eyes I saw them.
Not that my memory bothers me, but I would like to know how I ended up at Tobins. Did I make a fool of myself again? Try to make her sleep with me in the bathroom? I don't know. I needed to talk to her later, maybe she won't be mad at me. My shower was quick, cold, and calming, I scrubbed at my skin for an eternity, I was covered in sticky residue left behind by dried alcohol, my clothes hadn't fared much better. In fact, I noticed that my zipper on the back of my dress was almost completely down when I woke up, god what did I do?
With a frustrated sigh I began to eat breakfast, it was deathly silent except for the crunch of cereal. The silence was interrupted by a knock at the door, who else could possibly be up this early? Shuffling my feet towards the door was a draining task with a headache this but I did the task and opened the door.
Ah, Tobin.
"Oh, good morning," I grinned, nervously scratching the back of my neck, she didn't look mad...
"I brought you some things, how are you feeling?" She reached out her hand and held out a few little white tablets, "For your headache, it's Tylenol" she clarified.
"How'd you know? Yeah I'm not feeling so crash hot," I thanked her with a nod and took her gift of the medicine.
"You were in a bit of a state last night...you aren't going to class are you?" She continued, throwing her hands behind her back and swaying a little.
"A...State?" I asked, hoping she'd give me some more information.
"You got really drunk, I found you being kicked out for being over intoxicated. I tried to walk you home but you didn't know where your key was so I took you to my place," She offered in explanation, it wasn't as bad as I had originally thought.
"Oh, that's a little embarrassing," I cringed thinking about it, but was also a little relieved I hadn't caused more trouble.
"I mean, you also cried the whole way home and kept saying something like 'she's dancing with you, but I want to dance with you' but, you were very drunk so it was probably out of context," she looked like she wanted to laugh, but she hadn't yet.
"There it is, I'm sorry," I had to stop myself from laughing too, but I was a little concerned about the idea of who I was talking about.
"You need to go back to bed, you look sick, and I think you slept for maybe four hours," Tobin added, placing one of her arms against the doorframe. Her arms were so...strong. She had so much muscle, everywhere, I don't get it, but I think I like it.
"I can't, I have a class soon, it's just a little tutor thing for students who want extra," I shrugged, it wouldn't be difficult so I'd be fine.
"If it's not mandatory then you should go back to bed, please," something in her voice persuaded me into thinking bed was the better option.
"I'm not sure, I won't fall asleep here and I'll get bored," I wanted to stay, but I didn't want her to be right.
"Watch a movie and you'll fall asleep, I guarantee it, you look half asleep just talking to me," Tobin laughed, I guess yawning during the middle of her sentence didn't help my case.
"Only if you stay," I don't know why I said that, why did I just do that?
"I mean, sure," she looked nervy at the thought but I don't really know why. Maybe she was feeling a little the same. I moved out of the doorway so she could come in, the door closed behind her, there was no escaping this anymore.
She sat on the couch, almost as far away from me as possible, strange. I picked up the remote and flicked on the first movie that came up on T.V, Finding Dory. Her body language looked uncomfortable, strange. "Hey, are you okay?" her body language had finally annoyed me enough that I had to ask. She didn't answer, just shrugged and kept her focus on the screen in front of us. "What happened last night that you aren't telling me?" I pressed, she looked like she wanted to talk but still, she took her time.
"You're confusing," She finally replied, relaxing herself into the cushions on the couch. I guess my look gave her enough of a prompt to continue, "Last night you were tearing your dress off trying to get me into bed with you. Then when you finally fell asleep after you'd stopped, you started, I don't know, audibly dreaming I suppose, about me. Then you wake up and it's back to normal. It's just, you play with my emotions without really meaning it," her heavy sigh was enough of a hint that she was stressed, but I could see the tension in her face too.
"I'm sorry. I've been thinking about this all week, I just, I've never, experimented or anything with like, you know, the gay side. I don't mean to pay with your feelings, I just get nervous and panic," I watched her demeanour change with each added word, I wouldn't say she was happy again, but she wasn't stressed.
I turned to look at her again, for the first time I really looked at her. Her tousled dark hair, her beautiful dark eyes, the little freckles dotting on her skin, her entire face was perfect. I could feel myself getting butterflies again despite my best efforts to stop. She noticed me staring at her again and shrugged her shoulders in response, not what I was hoping for, but I couldn't exactly blame her.
*Tobin's POV*
She was so confusing. I'd catch her looking at me for minutes at a time, but then she'd run away every time she saw me. She was so god damn beautiful, I got knots in my stomach just looking at her, but she was hard to crack. I couldn't figure her out, was she straight? If she was she wasn't acting like it. During the movie, I saw her getting more and more tired as the movie continued to play until eventually she fell into the side of the lounge.
The further she fell asleep the further she slinked into the lounge. She eventually fell into my lap, not realising herself, she must have been dead asleep. She had rested peacefully, not aware of anything, her gentle breathing wasn't noticeable above the noise of the T.V. Her arms had slinked around me at one point, she didn't move them until the movie finished.
That moment was long over, it was dinner time and we had both gone our separate ways. I had been texting with my phone buddy for a couple of hours, we agreed to meet at the bottom of the south street hiking trail at ten tomorrow morning. I craved something else now though, I had the number of the girl from the bar last night, I was tempted to call her and have her come over, but I felt a little guilty at the thought. I was somehow waiting for Christen, but I wasn't sure she'd ever come to terms with what she was fighting.
Fuck it, I'll text her. I don't even remember her name.
"Tobin to ?: Come over????"
"? to Tobin: Sure"
I waited nervously for my new acquaintance to turn up, I knew what I wanted, at least this girl had come to terms with her identity. After fifteen minutes I heard a knock at the door, I almost ran but reminded myself this would be the best distraction. She entered the room the second I opened the door adding "I'm not interested in small talk," The mystery blonde was forward the minute I opened the door. She was beautiful, a stereotypical surfer girl, tall, wavy blonde hair, bright blue eyes and a beautiful tan. She wasn't what I really desired, but I was still drooling at the thought of her.
She closed the door behind her and immediately had me against the wall of the dorm. I gripped her waist and dragged her in close, her lips found mine instantly, her tongue slipped into my mouth as she started to drag the zipper of my jeans down. I shuffled a little and my jeans fell around my ankles, my mystery girl slipped her hand under the fabric of my boxers, fuck. I dropped my head into her neck as she began to work on me, using her index finger she rubbed small circles around my clit.
I was stuck grinding against her hand as she kept the same pace, eventually stopping to instead drop to her knees. She looked up at me from the ground, her eyes locking with mine as she slid my boxers down until they hit the floor. She lifted one of my legs up and over her shoulder, in the same moment she spread me wide and dipped in toward me with her tongue. She rolled over my clit in a single slow lick, before sliding two fingers into me. She continued teasing and building me up with her tongue in slow deliberate movements, her pace changed quickly and I couldn't help but moan out, "Fuck Chris-,"
******
*Christen's POV*
I woke up cuddled up to Tobin, who won't admit it but had also fallen asleep. I liked being soft with my friends, napping together was always kind of wholesome. I dreamt about her again, we were walking along a dirty riverbed, kicking the river stones under our feet. The water was choppy as wind blew from seemingly every direction. We found a little clearing at the end of the stone walkway and set up a little campfire. It burnt with a soft crackle as little embers danced ballet about us. The cold had long since disappeared and a gentle, blissful warmth had taken over.
I wanted her to stay, but I knew she was confused. I was playing with her emotions without really meaning to, I just hoped we could come to terms with each other's feelings so we could eventually be friends without feeling awkward. Unfortunately I don't think that will happen anytime soon.
I had started to eat dinner when I realised Tobin's jacket was still hanging on the back of my chair. Realising it would probably have to be returned, I finished my frozen meal of veggies and rice rather quickly and picked up her jacket. It was a nice black zip up hoodie, I almost thought about hiding it and wearing it for the night.
"Christen to Tobin: Hey, have your jacket, I'm coming to drop it over"
I didn't receive a text back, she may have her phone on charge. Who knows. I made my way the thirty meter walk up the hallway to her room. Readying my hand to knock on her door I paused upon hearing her behind the door. She sounded like she was groaning...no, whining... oh. Then I heard it, "Fuck Chris-,".
That can't be a coincidence, I wonder who is in there? I didn't matter. I turned on my heels and walked back to my room, there was no point interrupting a good night. I didn't really feel great, but I didn't really feel bad. I hopped straight into bed without changing into my pyjamas, I had a big day tomorrow. I was meeting my mystery texter at ten o'clock tomorrow for a hike, I needed all the sleep I could get.
*****
I woke up at eight, the sound of my angry buzzing alarm shook me awake almost violently. What I would do for five more minutes. What do you even wear hiking? Never mind. I flicked through my cupboard for a little while, semi distracted with thoughts of my mystery text friend. It's cold enough for a jacket, but do I go practical or fashionable? Will they think I'm stupid if I go for fashion? I looked at the heavy duty grey jacket, it was waterproof, the green one, not so much. Grey it is.
Pants? Shorts? Fuck it, shorts it is, I flicked through the pile of shorts, deciding on a blue pair of sports pants. The shirt doesn't really matter right? I peeked into the shirt draw, the black one is nice, it's got a nice lace trim, nobody will see it so I can wear it under my jacket and still feel nice.
How did it take me half an hour to pick out clothes? Jesus, I've got to bolt. I stumbled my way downstairs, passing Tobin in the hallway as I panicked. I shot her a curious look but she was too busy on phone and I didn't have time to stop and chat. I had my phone out booking an Uber on my wild run through the campus hallways, the driver was only a few minutes away by the time I reached the front.
The snow wasn't falling today, at least not yet. The ground was glistening with dewdrops, like tiny like stars that had fallen from heaven. I caught a glimpse of myself in a puddle at my feet, I looked nice, I hope my new friend thought so too. The water rippled as another person approached, I turned to look around my shoulder and saw Tobin a meter or so behind me.
"Hey, Uber pool?" She asked simply, shuffling on her feet, she was layered but dressed sporty, where was she going?
"Yeah, you too?" I replied, I felt awkward about last night but she didn't know I knew and the whole situation was weird.
"Yeah, cool," She answered, sticking her hands in her pockets. The car turned up as we stood, the silence thick enough to cut with a knife, thank god for timing. We both hopped into the backseat, our routes already confirmed in the app not a word was said other than good morning.
I hopped out at the chosen destination, turning to say goodbye to Tobin after exchanging pleasantries with the driver, only to find her already out of the car. "You can't be for real," I laughed.
"This is strange," she laughed back. Her smile was so goddamn perfect, oh god she messes with my head.
"Well, you'd better lead the way tour guide," I shrugged with a smile. All this dumb luck, I can't say I'm mad about it. Tobin showed me a worn track that appeared in the scrub and we began to follow the track, it was about now that I was weirdly happy about my choice in clothing, practical but also kind of cute.
We made small talk as we followed this trail up a the mountain, the higher we got the more snow that appeared. I was excited for the view at the tip but the trip itself was quite beautifully scenic. The trees were covered in snow, they had an eerie beauty about them. All the grasses were covered in a mat of thick snow, little footprints had been left behind by the critters brave enough to endure the cold.
An hour and a half later we reached a flat area at the top of the mountain, I could see the whole town from up here. "Tobin...It's beautiful," I gasped, it was the most amazing view, the city was sleeping and covered in a white blanket. It was something out of a photo.
"Best tour guide around," she joked back, dropping to her knees to start building up a dry place where she could start a fire. "Hey, see if you can find anything dry that'll burn," she requested, her words accompanied by a cold puff of air.
I nodded and began to search for dry material, there wasn't a whole lot but I managed to find enough for a suitable sized fire. Tobin pitched a day tent to shelter us from the weather, fortunately there was no falling snow and the fire stayed alight. I kept myself warm, scooting closer to the fire every couple of minutes.
"Want to build a snowman?" I suggested, we had run out of campfire stories and I knew I was going to ask about last night if I didn't distract myself soon.
"Always," she responded, standing up and offering her outstretched hand to help me up. I gratefully accepted her offer and we got set to work, collecting large amounts of snow into even bigger spheres. I couldn't help myself from throwing a few snowballs, none hit their mark but it started a war instantly. Tobin was a much better aim and I ended up covered from head to toe in wet snow, she finally relented and the torrent of snow stopped. "You should come get warm," she was trying not to laugh at me but I could tell she was laughing on the inside.
I wandered over to the fire and removed my jacket so it could dry, which may have been a mistake because I was freezing. Never mind that though, Tobin opened up the side of her jacket and motioned me in. I didn't hesitate for a second, I snuggled right up into her side, I was freezing.
"Tobin?" I eventually asked.
"Yeah Christen?" She responded, I could tell she wasn't looking at me, but then again I wasn't brave enough to look at her either.
"I uh, I heard you and your, well, friend last night," I started, she nodded but didn't elaborate. "Well, I heard you, you know," I took a deep breath and sighed, "You moaned half of my name," I felt her body tense up instantly.
"It was an accident, I was thinking about y- no, I just wasn't thinking," She added, stumbling on her words, the tough Tobin façade was beginning to fall.
"What did your...escapade think about that?" I asked, quietly hoping it was just a one time thing.
"She doesn't care, it's just a casual arrangement you know. Just an outlet for each other," she shrugged, I could tell the topic was a little sensitive so I didn't press any further. I took a good look at her as the sun began to set, her features in the glow of the fire were so perfect. It was like she was hand crafted by the angels, so fucking beautiful.
She looked down and caught me staring, I wasn't so threatened by it, in fact I was thinking about leaning up and kissing her right now. I couldn't bring myself to do it, but god was I close. She makes me feel so good. I hadn't felt such an instant attraction to anyone else before. Except with her, she was magnetic, she was unearthly, a blessing. I feel like I've already confused her enough though, kissing her would probably not work in my favour. I was appreciating just hanging in her jacket in the warmth for now, I felt safe, I felt comfortable.
Maybe I could talk to her properly tomorrow, maybe I haven't burnt all my bridges just yet. Unlikely but it was always worth a shot I suppose, I'd planned the whole conversation in my head. More than likely it would never happen, I was scared of everything and she was not an exception unfortunately.