Monroe
Chase:
Now that he is finally gone... Have dinner with me tomorrow night. The man you love, the one that just got on the plane may lose everything if you don't.
My sleep was restless, filled with the anxiety of what was to come of this. I laid in Tobias' bed for hours thinking and worrying that tonight would be my last night here. I sat in the darkness only letting my other senses take flight. I smelled him in the air, I breathed him in, I replayed his taste on my tongue, and I committed everything to memory because this could be our last.
My heart broke as I walked along his walk-in wardrobe, I touched every single item of clothing he owned because this could be the last time I would see him in them.
It could be the last time I felt the material underneath my fingers tips, and it could be the last time I wore them to bed when I "forgot" mine. I laid back in bed surrounded by Tobias without him being there. I let all of my emotions take me under as I let the thought, sound, smell of him take me whole.
I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to give Tobias everything he wanted and deserved but how could I do all of that and be in his life?
Chase didn't want me to be happy unless it was with him. Chase didn't want me to live, breathe, speak, or act unless I was with him and if that was the price I had to pay for Tobias being left alone I would do it in a heartbeat.
I hoped that there was a better way out there, a way that I could be with Tobias, have the life together that we talked about and Chase being out of our lives forever. But that wasn't possible.
I didn't have enough time to figure it out, I didn't get enough time to love Tobias. I didn't get enough to be his. But none of that mattered because it would be selfish of me to want to be with Tobias knowing what could come, I couldn't do that to him.
He may hate me now but in the long run he won't, in the long run he would find a woman who will love him the right way. A woman that could give him everything he wants and needs without holding herself back. A woman that could be by his side unapologetically and not without the guilt of him losing his career. A woman that could love him without him having to pay the price.
And that's why I'm sat here in front of Chase Bishop at a lavish restaurant. I was sat in a knee-length black dress, with long sleeves and a high neckline. I looked like I was supposed to be at a funeral because that's how I felt. I felt like I had already lost Tobias and I was mourning the love we should have been able to have.
Chase spoke to the waitress in a flirtatious manner, this was nothing new. Before Tobias that would have hurt me but right now all I felt was bile forming in my stomach.
"... And she'll have a Ceaser salad. We're watching her weight." He said handing back the menus before flirtatiously winking at her. As she sashayed away he ogled her body as if in a hypnotic state.
I couldn't help but feel the burn of bile pilling up my throat, he was absolutely vile. My blood was boiling, not because of his flirtation but because of the situation I was in. He truly believed that if he couldn't have me then no-one else could and it hurt everything in me that I couldn't just be with the man that I loved.
He finally looked down to me, with a smug smirk on his face."You know, you look a lot more beautiful when you smile."
I scoffed at his words, those same words he used to worm his way into my heart all of those years ago. Back then they sounded like a compliment, back then I loved hearing every line that came from his lips, and back then I believed everything that came from his mouth.
But now I can see that he really did mean what he said, just not his actual words, he meant the menacing meaning behind it. He meant every backhanded compliment, every spew of manipulation, every spiel of lies, and every word he used to play on my self-esteem. I believed all of it and that's how he found control.
"Why am I here Chase? What the fuck do you want from me?"
He began using the serviette to clean his steak knife and fork, he looked his silverware up and down meticulously before breathing on his knife and cleaning it once more. Finally placing them both down on the table in the correct order around the plate, and looked back up at me.
"Beautiful place, right? I've been told the chef was flown in straight from Italy, he is amazing. I've organised a private tasting for us afterwards."
I immediately frowned hearing him talk as if this was a date. "Chase what the hell am I doing here? You said you wanted to talk, so talk." My words came out vicious and venomous, I had had enough of his games and I was done playing around. I needed answers and I needed them now.
He smirked at me, tilting his head to the side. "My, my, my. You're eager today. Can't a man invite his wife out for a meal without being badgered with questions?"
My nostrils flared listening to his smug voice as he asked his rhetorical question. He unbuttoned his suit jacket getting more comfortable in his seat before picking up a wine menu and skim-reading the foreign bottles. He placed the drinks menu next to me before using his fingertips to move it closer. "You need to relax and unwind a little. You're so uptight, beautiful."
I grimaced at his pet name, I thought back to all of those times he would call me that and the bile almost flew out of my mouth.
Tobias had turned the vile pet name into something so thoughtful and loving. But now hearing the words on Chase's lips had just brought back up the memories of our past. Taking a deep breath, I leaned in closer with a stern look on my face. "Chase. I am done playing you're stupid games. What. Do. You. Want?"
He eyes darkened with fury and his hand curled into a fist, I could see the burn of anger running through his dilated pupils and to say that it terrified me was an understatement. But I never let him see me cower. He sat up before leaning closer to me, our faces were so close they could touch. "You."
At the back of my mind, I knew all he wanted was me but I still didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe that there was a way out but I knew there wasn't.
My eyes shut quickly as I tried to soften the blow of his words. My chest was tight and the tears were on the verge of falling. My heart broke and I knew this was it, I would have to break Tobias' heart, I would have to leave him and I would have to go back to the devil himself.
He began to chuckle maniacally. "Oh baby, don't be so upset. I mean, you loved me once, you could love me again, right?" He didn't want an answer. "Look, I'll forget all about that stuff with Tobias Wrexler." One of his legs crossed over the other as he took hold of his ankle, his smile was wicked and injurious.
"If you just come back to me."
And there it was, he had finally said the words that I never wanted to hear. My skin crawled, my blood boiled and the bile in my stomach was two seconds away from making its appearance. I hated this, I hated it with everything in me. Everything that happened over the last month replayed in my head and it hurt, it hurt like hell to let everything I had built with Tobias go.
It hurt because I would break Tobias' heart. I would be back where I started, back in the hell I used to call home, and it hurt because I didn't know if I would ever make it out again.
Tobias please forgive me.
"And you'll leave Tobias alone?"
He nodded his head before confirming verbally. "I will even forget Tobias even existed. We will go back to what we were before you met him. Happily married." My heart pounded out of my chest as I knew I was making a deal with the devil. "And this time it'll be just you and I. Me and Luxe broke up, I realised that she wasn't you." He reached over to touch my hand. "She wasn't you baby."
I quickly pulled my hand back before taking a large gulp of water, my body was burning with hurt and I was struggling to breathe. I placed my glass down on the table, my eyes peered over at his and all I could see was the coldness beneath them. There was no love, there had never been any love, all I could see was his craving for control.
"Ah-ha." He gestured to the flirtatious waitress who was coming over with our dishes. "There she is." He smirked and she bit her lip as she walked towards him, she placed his dish in front of him with a movie-star smile on her face, then she placed my meal in front of me without a care in the world. She looked back over to him, leaning against the table ever so slightly. "Would that be all Mr. Bishop? If you need anything just call, okay?"
She gave him a daring look before she sauntered away. His head spun to look over at me, he gestured to the small salad sitting in front of me but I wasn't about to let my guard down again. He knew he had the upper hand but that didn't mean I was going to let him treat me as such. He shook his head before dipping his fork into his food, taking generous and long bites of his food and moaning at the taste with his eyes closing.
He looked over at me with emotionless eyes, once again he wiped the sides of his mouth with his serviette. "Aren't you going to eat? I did invite you to dinner." I shook my head at him with a blunt stare. He pushed his plate away. "Fine. If that's how you want it, that's completely fine." He spoke with gritted teeth as his fist clenched once again.
"You're stalling Chase. I didn't come here for a lovely meal. I came to make sure that the man I love was left alone." His jaw clenched and he snarled hearing my words before throwing down his serviette into his unfinished meal. "It shouldn't have come to this Monroe. If you had just kept being the good little wife, we wouldn't be in this fucking mess."
My eyes went wide at his sudden whisper yelling outburst. "No Chase. You did this. You never loved me, you never loved Luxe, you only ever loved yourself. If you were a better man I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with anyone else. But I did and I will never ever call mine and Tobias' love a mess. You can do whatever you like to me at this point, because nothing is going to hurt more than being away from him."
His face was stern and I could virtually see the steam coming from his ears, his nostrils flared and his eyes were reddening before his face suddenly turned into a Cheshire cat-like smile. "You know what Monroe, I'm glad to hear you say that. And you want to know why?"
He paused as if I would answer. "Getting me to leave Tobias alone won't be as easy as you just coming home. I have a few terms I need you to agree to."
My eyes widened in horror once more. "But you just said -" he cut me off before I could finish. "I know what I said, Monroe. But since you can't keep your mouth SHUT about the man I'm supposed to forget about I'm struggling a little. My memory seems to be very sharp at the moment." He said putting his hands together in his lap and my heart started racing, contemplating what more he would ask of me.
"For me to forget all about Mr. Tobias Wrexler and his little scandal with my wife I'll need a few things from you. I need you to come home to me, pack your bags and stay with me permanently. I need you to not contact Tobias at all from this moment onwards. And." He said with a villanious grin on his face.
"Do you remember that little couples interview you were supposed to do? The one where the interviewer would ask you all about our relationship and you would tell them how I shower you with love, care, affection and loyalty. The one where you were supposed to paint me as the perfect husband because I mean -" He chuckled maniacally. "That's exactly what I am. You remember that, beautiful?"
I didn't answer but to him that was answer enough. "Well, my dearest wife. I need you to do the interview tomorrow. It airs the next day, I cashed in a favour with one of the studio execs." He said smugly. The tears in my eyes were ready to fall, I couldn't take it. I couldn't take it anymore, he knew what he was doing and he knew Tobias would see it.
He had already forbidden me from talking to Tobias and now he was adding this too, he was going to make me sit in front of a live camera and lie about everything. He was going to make me lie about him, paint him as the best version of himself and act like I don't love Tobias Wrexler. My heart was hurting and I couldn't make the pain stop.
"I'll tell you what. I won't even take you to get your things, I'll let you do that yourself completely on your own accord. Maybe even Clarise and Xavier could help you. I mean, she was the one who bought you that house right?" He scoffed at the thought. "Your mother was right. Clarise really filled your head with miracles and fairytales."
He leaned into me with a devious smirk on his face. "Well, too bad fairytales don't exist baby." He gestured to another waiter with an animated smile on his face. "Garson. Please bring us a bottle of your finest and most expensive wine on the menu. My wife and I are celebrating." He laughed with the waiter before he scampered off to retrieve the bottle.
My body was completely frozen solid and all I could hear was the sound of my heavy heart thumping against my chest. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't talk. I knew what this was and I knew that if I didn't find some kind of comfort in all of this I wouldn't make it out of this panic attack that was ripping through my body.
I felt like a weight was laying on my chest and I couldn't find my way out from underneath. I was crashing and there was nothing I could do about it, the turmoil going through my mind and heart was taking over. I was in a restaurant across from the man that wanted me to live in complete darkness and I already saw the cloud hanging over my head.
I closed my eyes praying for a miracle until I heard Tobias' voice in my head. He was my miracle, my serenity and even if he wasn't here with me, I knew our memories and time spent together would be worth all of this. My tears pooled in my eyes once more as I listened.
Baby, concentrate on the sound of my voice. Can you do that for me? - That's good baby, that's great. Now breathe with me. In and out, in and out. - That's it. In through your nose and out through your mouth.
I remembered this conversation so vividly, it was the last phone conversation we had since that night and right now it was the exact thing I needed to hear. I breathed with his caring words until I found myself getting out of this black cloud. I needed to do it for him. He was worth all of the pain and heartache if it meant he would smile every day doing what he loved. I'll love you now and I'll love you forever Tobias.
"So, will I have my wife home tonight?" He said pouring a glass of red for himself with a pleased look on his face. He pulled the glass to his lips and sipped slowly on his wine, he didn't need to ask because he knew the answer. He just wanted to hear that his control was back, he just wanted to heat me defeated, he just wanted to make sure that if he couldn't have me, no-one would.
Forgive me Tobias.
"I'll be there."