In the Absence of a Good Life

By ifindedcake

5.5K 320 263

Meet Jimmy. He's the guy with all the problems, the screw up who always acts like a complete and total jerk... More

(1) The Destruction Manual
(2) Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat
(3) Pride and Prejudice
(4) Wild Things Found In Unexpected Places
(5) If You Think A Penny's Pretty...
(6) Hand in the (Missing?) Cookie Jar
(7) All Work and No Play Makes Jimmy a Dull Boy
(8) The Pig Without Its Mud
(9) Mummy Told Me Not to Talk to Strangers...
(10) Happy Families!!!
(11) Phone a Friend
(12) Does Jimmy Dream of Mechanical Sheep?
(13) Un-expect the Expected
(14) Their Chemical Romance
(15) Old Habits Die Hard
(16) A Hostage to Fortune
(17) The Phantom Menace
(18) Crime Pays, No Matter What They Say
(19) The Fallacy of Normality
(20) An Unnecessary Evil
(21) Curry Favour
(23) Pecuniary Advantage
(24) The Clarion Call
(25) Turning Leaves
(26) Entering the Garden of Pomegranates
(27) Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

(22) Stealing a Pound of Flesh

112 4 2
By ifindedcake

One Half of the Comedy Duo (A.K.A - The Sarcastic One - Shelly)

I'd managed to remove most of the feathers from my room while I'd thought over the steps and problems of the plan that I'd come up with.

It was entirely plausible, it might actually work!

Gus never put the money that he'd made off of his 'victims' into the bank for several reasons. One of them was that he didn't trust the corrupt money prisons. Another reason that was probably the most important, was that receiving large amounts of money when he had no discernible job would look a bit suspicious. He didn't want to be investigated by the police. He wanted to stay low, under the radar.

I knew that he kept his money in the house, he'd never truly moved out, he just lived between several places. He'd never taken any of his things with him when he left, so we never got the impression that he'd gone for sure.

Gus always came back home for special occasions, like birthdays, family reunions and Christmas. There were, however, those times when he'd come back home for seemingly inexplicable reasons. He usually said that it was because he missed seeing us, but now, I knew the truth.

He only came home in those times so that he could deposit his filthy money in the house somewhere. Of course, I didn't know this for sure, but I was pretty certain. His visits always seemed to coincide with his coming into a large period of financial gain. He used to boast about his successes to our Dad whenever he was here. So from this, I knew, somewhere or other, the money was here and I would find it.

I just had to wait for the opportune moment to search his room. It was the most likely place where he hid his money. He always got really tetchy whenever anyone attempted to go in it. He even got angry at our grandmother whenever she tried to go in his room to clean it. They used to get into the most horrendous arguments over it.

Another thing that proved my hypothesis, was that anytime that he was absent from the house, for however long, he would always lock the door to his room.

My choices on how to complete the first step in my carefully formulated plan, were numerous. The most obvious and possibly the easiest were that I could either steal the key, or pick the lock myself.

I decided to try and pick the lock first, and then attempt to steal the key if I failed. Gus was always very protective over his possessions, so I knew that he'd protect the key with everything he had. He was also very aware of attempts of pickpocketing, since the people that owed money to him were usually desperate and didn't live in 'good' areas of town. He had to have his wits about him whenever he personally entered those 'dodgy' areas, and as a result, he knew when someone was trying to mug him.

Also, if Gus twigged that I was trying to enter his room, my whole plan would be ruined. He'd take extra precautions in securing his room and probably wouldn't leave it unless it was absolutely necessary.

If I failed, then it would all rest on Jimmy and Terrance to solve their problem. I couldn't see any way of making big money by the end of the week, so I assumed that if I failed, Jimmy would die, and Terrance would hate me forever. I'd have the weight of Jimmy's death on my shoulders and I'd have to bear it for the rest of my life. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with it. So failure wasn't an option.

I searched on-line for how to pick a lock. I knew that the locks in the house were simple ones, something that the Internet called 'simple pin-and-tumbler locks'. I read various articles, and they all suggested the use of good quality 'picks' and  'tension wrenches'.

I'd never heard of them before, but a quick search on eBay told me that they were well within my budget, relatively easy to acquire and available for delivery before the end of the week. Perfect. I ordered a set and started to practise my newly found skills on my en-suite bathroom lock.

The next day passed with me sitting in anticipation, waiting for the moment that the tools would arrive, and waiting for the moment that I could finally start the first steps of my plan.

The day afterwards passed much in the same way, though, by this time, my body was wrought with an overwhelming sense of impetuosity. I became restless and fidgety. My attempts to hide this from Gus were reasonably successful, and if he had spotted my odd behaviour, I fobbed it off by letting him here conversations with my Dad about how excited I was that I was going to a sleepover with Mel. 

This was of course, a completely fictitious event.

On the third day, my post arrived. It included a large package that I immediately assumed contained my expected items; the tools that I would use to implement the first stages of my plan.

I opened up my package with reckless abandon, safely away from the eyes of Gus in my own bedroom. Then I began the long wait for my opportunity to search Gus' room. 

While I was waiting, I decided to test my new tools on my bathroom door. It took me a couple of tries, but I eventually managed to open the locked door. 

You may be wondering how I managed to lock the door on one side and escape to the other side of the door to unlock it? The answer is simple, it was a shared bathroom with the guest's bedroom. I made sure that Gus couldn't chance upon what I was doing, as I locked the door that led to the guest's room as a precaution.

After numerous tries, I had finally managed to open the locked door within a time limit. I was pleased with the progress that I'd made and I was confident in my ability to succeed in the first steps of my plan.

A couple of hours later saw the arrival of the opportune moment to break into Gus' room. I only had a few days left before Jimmy was murdered, and I could not afford to fail.

My brother had been called out on an errand to a friend. I had no idea how long he'd be gone, so I needed to act quickly. As soon as the backdoor slammed, I rushed up out of my position in my own room, and sprinted on my tip toes to Gus' room. I was as quiet as a ninja could be in a rickety old and creaking building.

I reached my target and knelt down to inspect the lock. I then pushed the tension wrench into the keyhole and shimmied it around to find out which way I would have to turn it to open the door. I thought back to what the Internet had said. 'Watch out for the difference between the direction that is hard and stiff, and the direction that has a little more 'give'.'

So it wasn't a direct quote, but it was what I had remembered. I was looking for the direction with a little more 'give'. If I got the direction wrong, I'd have to start all over again. I didn't have the time for that.

I then pushed the pick into the keyhole, just above the tension wrench. I wiggled it around until I could find the two pins that were pushed down to keep the lock locked. When I'd found them, I pushed the furthest one away from me, up a little, and twisted the tension wrench to keep the pin up. I then tried to do the same with the other pin, that was closest to me.

With each pin that I  pushed up and out of the lock, I heard a faint click to let me know that I'd succeeded in the unlocking of the door.

When I'd finished with the two pins, I twisted the tension wrench in the right direction and successfully opened the door.

'Yes!' I whispered, then walked forwards into Gus' room.

It was time for step two; find where Gus hid his filthy money.

I looked in the most obvious places first, under the mattress of his scruffy, unmade bed, behind pictures that hung on the walls in a secret safe and under a loose floorboard hidden under the old-fashioned rug. The money was no where to be seen, and I was running out of time.

I sped up the search, frantically looking under things and in things trying not to leave a trace of my presence. 

 I still could not find the money, though I was sure it was in there somewhere. 

I began to frantically search inside each of the hundreds of books on the bookshelf. With each one that the money wasn't in, a little twinge of doubt began to set out, before I completely gave up hope.

It wasn't there, it honestly wasn't there!

'Come on. come on! THINK! Where would hide it? Come on!' I whispered in frustration. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my mind. I began to think of where I would've hid the money. After all, Gus and I were siblings, and we thought almost exactly alike, except, of course, he was on the dark side of the force, and wasn't.

I concluded that I'd try to hide it in plain sight, right under the nose of someone who'd be most likely to try and find it...

I'd hide it...

Just then, I heard a car pull up to the drive, I must have wasted more time than I'd thought. Gus was coming back home, it was only a matter of time before I was found out.

I didn't care anymore. I knew exactly where the money was hidden, and it wasn't in Gus' room. He wouldn't have put incriminating evidence of his criminal activities in his own room - he'd put it in mine!

I rushed out the door, picked up my pick and tension wrench and looked round the room to see if everything was in it's place. Satisfied, I closed the door and heard the click as it locked automatically. I then ran to my own room, again, as quiet as a ninja could be with cymbals attached to his feet.

Once I was in my own bedroom, I slammed the door behind me and tried to calm down my heavy breathing.

I then walked to my own neatly made bed and lifted up the mattress.

'Bingo.'

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