***
[ Supersons ]
SuperKon: ever since you two started dating, I feel so much like a third wheel here.
SuperJon: now that's not true, when have we ever done anything that made you feel like a third wheel?
SuperKon: I mean I'm not bothered with you posting pictures of Dami all the time and him doing the same with you, but I really wish there was at least someone else here too.
BatKid: don't ask me to add any of my family members, they're horrible.
SuperJon: oh come on... Supersons means all the super sons.
BatKid: technically Supersons only means you and your brother.
SuperJon: I meant all the children of the Justice League.
SuperKon: now you're pushing it way too far. Just Supes and Bats would be a handful to deal with.
BatKid: he probably means biological.
SuperKon: then I'll have to be kicked out as well.
BatKid: you and Jon share the same DNA, idiot, why would you be kicked out?
SuperKon: I know. But technically, I was scientifically modified...
BatKid: doesn't count.
BatKid: besides if you're counting adopted children as well, then we will have to add my father's whole clan. Sometimes even I lose track of how many of these people exist who father adopted in time of need or otherwise.
SuperJon: let's see. There's you, Dick, Jason and Tim.
BatKid: then there's Brown, Thomas and Cain.
SuperKon: full names please. It's hella confusing otherwise.
BatKid: Stephanie Brown. Duke Thomas. Cassandra Cain.
SuperJon: right...
BatKid: I bet there are more.
SuperKon: family dinners at your place would be phenomenal, dude.
BatKid: replace phenomenal with disastrous and that's more like it.
SuperJon: I mean even I haven't met half of the infamous BatClan.
BatKid: thank your lucky stars.
SuperKon: but are you going to add at least a few more people here? I get lonely.
SuperJon: aw bro, we're here for you.
BatKid: or we could kick you out. Would save the trouble.
SuperKon: Damian, how can you be so fucking rude!
SuperJon: you dropped the f-bomb. Pay up.
BatKid: excuse you?
SuperJon: I'm telling Mom if you don't put in a pence in the swear jar, Connor. Then she'll make you put in a crisp five pound note.
SuperKon: but I didn't say it.
SuperKon: I typed.
SuperJon: doesn't make a difference.
BatKid: if your mother made us use a swear jar, she would have been a billionaire by now.
***
SuperJon: guess who's dropping a new single soon?
BatKid: who? Me? Lies...
SuperKon: wait...
SuperKon: I hadn't known you could smile, Damian.
SuperJon: of course he can smile. I have proofs.
BatKid: don't you fucking dare, Jon!
SuperKon: yes you do the dare, Jon, I need proofs.
SuperJon: there you have it.
SuperKon: that's not our Dami.
BatKid: definitely an impostor.
SuperJon: but I have more.
SuperJon: that's when he broke Tim's coffee cup so that Dick could buy him a new one for his birthday.
SuperKon: unreal...
BatKid: I swear Jon, if there's one more pic...
SuperJon: oh but I saved the best for last.
SuperKon: get the fuck out of here, you impostor!
SuperJon: SWEAR JAR!!!
BatKid: fuck off, Jon.
SuperKon: but seriously though, it looks like he's wearing Dad's spectacles.
BatKid: it doesn't just look like it. I was wearing your father's glasses.
SuperJon: we borrowed for a picture and doesn't he look cute?
SuperKon: I'm afraid I'll have to agree.
BatKid: I am NOT CUTE.
SuperJon: agree to disagree, babe.
SuperKon: he looks like he's learning how to smile.
SuperJon: cute nevertheless.
BatKid: if I were a Super instead, I would have flown to Metropolis and choked you to death thirteen times by now.
SuperJon: shit, I'm so screwed.
SuperKon: SWEAR JAR!!!
SuperJon: right...
***
BatKid: you don't deserve to live, Jon.
SuperJon: why?
BatKid: perfect shouldn't exist.
SuperJon: at first I was scared but now I have no words except...
BatKid: just because I don't say it back often, doesn't mean that I don't feel the same.
SuperKon: this is exactly what I meant by feeling like a third wheel.
BatKid: shut up. Not everything is about you, Connor Superboy Kent.
***
SuperJon: and this is my definition of perfect.
BatKid: generous of you to say so.
SuperJon: and damn that pose makes my heart flutter and skip a beat.
BatKid: stop flattering me, it's not going to work.
SuperJon: that's no flattery.
BatKid: I know that. You don't have to remind me.
BatKid: where's Kent?
SuperJon: right here...
BatKid: not you, the other one.
SuperJon: he's gone off to a friends house. Will be back by evening.
BatKid: so no third wheel comments. Great.
SuperJon: you know you can always text me directly if you hate him third wheeling so much.
BatKid: the case is actually opposite. I don't care but he hates being the third wheel a lot. And he's going to stay like that for eternity. So I may as well annoy him as much as I can.
***
SuperJon: hey look guys, I'm Harry Potter!
SuperKon: we went to Universal Studios today and Jon got super excited.
BatKid: as expected. What's new?
SuperJon: I got my own wand.
SuperJon: can you believe it... It comes in with a wand. My own personal wand! It's an elder wand though and extremely violent at curses so you better watch out if don't wanna get Crucioed.
SuperJon: see what I did there?
SuperKon: yeah...
BatKid: it's not like I care anyways.
SuperJon: Damian! Of course you care. You do care about me, right?
BatKid: tell you what, I'm quitting the chat myself.
BatKid has left the chat.
SuperJon: hey!
SuperKon: come back here Damian.
***
[ T<•> I ]
T: so Selina likes you a lot.
I: she does?
T: yup.
I: isn't that lovely? Both our mums have given their blessing.
***
I: when are we getting married, princess?
T: Ren!
I: why? Do you not want to spend an eternity with me?
T: that's not what I meant.
T: its just that I'm blushing so hard right now, I'm scared I'll start to bleed if anyone pinched my cheeks.
I: I know sweetheart.
I: you blush so much that you could easily be a model for rogue without even applying it on your face.
***
T: so one thing I liked about being in the hospital... No press.
I: it was all kept hushed up or they would have been there 24/7.
T: I've an interview coming.
I: when?
T: tomorrow.
I: best of luck, darling.
T: I'm dreading my existence right now.
I: don't you dare, Timmy. Interviews are not that bad.
T: oh no they are. To me at least.
I: why?
T: because sometimes my tongue slips and then they get to churn out a month long scandal.
I: oh... And what do you have to say in your defense?
T: just this.
I: but the odd part is that even though you hate giving interviews, when you do give an interview you are a total adorable little cinnamon roll. Like take a look for yourself.
T: when am I not an adorable little cinnamon roll?
I: let me think.
I: fair enough.
***
I: Aunt Lena's asking if you could come over tonight at dinner.
T: sure, why not?
T: what flowers shall I bring this time?
I: no need for flowers.
T: oh since it's a dinner, I could bring something else.
I: for instance?
T: Richard says it's traditional to take a bottle of the finest wine when one is invited to a dinner.
I: you really don't have to. Me and Aunt Lena won't judge.
T: he took me to the shop so you have no reason left to object.
I: Tim, you and your brothers are a complete statement.
T: we're the Waynes, love, you should have gotten used to it by now.
***
T: are you awake?
I: yeah, why?
T: meet me at the rooftop.
I: right now?
T: yes.
I: I can't.
T: not my rooftop, yours.
I: oh... Right.
***