I had an itch I couldn't scratch.
Aarrgh! My poor fingers so yearned to dive under this Wonder Woman fake hair, but they couldn't!
Trapping my real mane underneath the wig had taken hours, and I didn't want to undo all that work. But the double layer of hair was making me sweat like a pig.
Ma's saying came to mind. "Ladies don't sweat, Iris, they glisten."
Alright, Ma, then, I was glistening like a pig!
All the leather and plastics in the Wonder Woman dress I wore added to the glistening.
Today, had an all-day Wonder Woman themed event today as WW movie was being released tonight!
Rows and rows of movie fans would be waiting in front of Million Year Picnic even before the shop opened, queuing for an exclusive photo session with me. A few lucky ones would actually win tickets for tonight's WW premiere.
I stretched in my seat and rested my hands on my mighty broadsword. It was nothing but a phony foam weapon, but I somehow felt proud of it.
It must have been an awesome feeling for my fellow passengers, having a Wonder Woman on their commute. They knew that, no matter what happened, she'd always be there to serve and protect entire mankind.
Why don't you use my dad's chauffeur? Jayden's irritated voice echoed in my mind.
His insistence to not take the Red Line had annoyed me, but I also felt guilty not to have listened to his voice of reason.
I so loved my morning train rides.
Still, I was so hot under the bloody costume, even my sweat was sweating! Or maybe that was just my fat crying.
My boobs were probably making crescent-shaped sweat marks into my hand-crafted Wonder Woman costume right now. And that did not feel sexy at all!
I had never made a Wonder Woman costume before, and no one had told me it would be this hard!
The corset had been the trickiest part—plastics, foam, a spoon, and vast quantities of glue had gone into its making, all of it covered in a layer of red and gold paint. The belt, metal cuffs, headband, rope, and leather skirt filled me with pride, though.
Why don't you buy a ready-made costume online? Jayden had proposed. "Wonder Woman's armor is a set of Amazonian battle armor currently worn by Diana, Princess of Themyscira. The armor consists of a red leather bodice, topped by a golden eagle, connected to a blue leather skirt, seemingly held together by a golden belt that resembles a 'W," he had read out loud to me from one of many websites that had a ready-made costume option to buy from.
He had not complained, though, while helping me hot glue the foam pieces onto the corset!
Men.
I rolled my eyes.
It was just not the same, buying it. Doing it on your own made it special.
It felt like I myself was bringing the character to life.
You should cosplay for me only. Jayden had offered with a quick suggestive lick over his lips.
One of his many requests.
Living with Jay Jay for the past month had revealed a new part of him to me.
A messier part.
The man left groceries, plates, and cups all over the kitchen instead of keeping order; sprinkled stinky droplets all over the toilet instead of sitting while peeing; nagged and bickered about whose turn was it to do the dishes instead of just doing them.
What worried me the most was that Jayden seemingly had no dreams or ambitions.
He had no spark or fire burning inside, no motus driving his life forward.
Once I had felt sorry for him, believing he was overshadowed by his father. I had thought he wanted to advance in the company, to build up his career.
But now, I wasn't so sure anymore.
What if Rena had been right and Jay-Jay simply enjoyed the comforts of being a rich man's son?
What if talk of independence was nothing but empty words?
The train came to a sudden halt at Charles/MGH, making my costume cut into my flesh.
I ignored the pain, though, because a typhoon of heebie-jeebies spiraled up and down my tummy for a second.
Mr. Ruffles Bunny! I hadn't seen him since I had moved in with Jayden. I lived in the Back Bay now, and usually took an earlier train at Forest Hills to switch to the Red Line at Downtown Crossing. Today, Wonder-Womanizing myself had delayed me.
My train man hadn't seen me yet.
That gave me some time to observe him at my leisure.
To combine his puzzle elements into a puzzle whole.
He still wore a tie, but it hung loosely from his neck, its knot at least an inch too low.
A kind smile flashed over his face, but it vanished quickly, leaving his cheeks slack—slightly pale, with bags under his eyes.
I wondered what was the matter with him this morning.
Had he not slept well?
Was this the fifth time I was seeing him?
The sixth?
I couldn't be sure.
Curiously, this was the first time I was the one who got to see him first.
He leaned forward, saying something to the man sitting across him.
A friend?
Said man—sporting a slightly receding nest of black hair—looked even paler than Mr. Ruffles Bunny. He spread his hands and moved his lips.
Mr. Ruffles took off his glasses and wiped his face.
I wondered how he would react when he saw me in my Wondrous Female edition.
If he saw me, that is.
I hoisted the only thing I had at hand: my sword.
It caught his attention instantly.
He readjusted his glasses and blinked.
Then his eyes widened so much I imagined his square-rimmed glasses cartoonishly fogging from imaginary steam.
Finally, Mr. Ruffles recovered from the surprising ordeal. He gave me an appreciative once-over glance, and lifted both thumbs with a cute down-to-earth smile.
Thanks, I mouthed back, feeling like a fish under the sea.
I wondered, once again, what his voice would sound like.
Would be husky? Deep? Guttural? Or squeaky and unpleasant?
Well, one could only assume we both had our voices stolen by a 'Little Mermaid' sea-witch and were thus condemned to communicate through gestures, object hoisting, and eye contact.
His friend's head turned in my direction.
The man's mouth popped open, not unlike Mr. Ruffles' had just a moment ago. Then its corners curled into an upward grin. He gestured at me with a questioning look in his eyes.
Oh, he must have said something about me to my train man.
I so wanted to know what it was.
Argh! I guess Mr. Ruffles must have felt exactly like this last month when I was gossiping about him with Rena.
The karma cake I baked myself was not tasting as good as I expected.
Mr. Ruffles' cheeks reddened, and he moved a hand through his hair. This briefly turned it into the disheveled hair porn mess I knew and loved.
I couldn't help it but savor it for a moment. And then a streak of inspiration hit me like a lightning.
The. Hair!
My Elf protagonist's power origin could totally reside in his hair!
And whenever he'd ruffle his curly strands, he would conjure magical fairy-dust cloudlets! The magical dust would make everyone around him smile and look at the sunny side of life!
The pitter-patter of tiny feet made me look up from my musings.
A little girl in a costume almost identical to mine tugged at my Wonder Woman bracelet. Her beaming mom was standing behind her.
The two must have entered the train at this station.
I leaned towards her, and the little girl whispered into my ear. "Can I please take a picture with you?"
"Of course, sweetie," I whispered back, half-getting up, more than ready to grant her wish, when the train revved and sent both me and the sword flying to the train floor.
Eyeing myself for damage, I got a glimpse of my costume's skirt. It lay on the floor next to me instead of protecting my buttocks.
Stitches might have been better than the glue Jayden had plastered onto the seam.
I grimaced.
The little girl fussed over me, offering me her hand. "I'll help you get up!"
My sword had flown to another section of the train.
If I wanted to reach it, I had to get up!
Betwixt the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, or, shall I say, betwixt the arse crack and the sword.
Wonder Woman, my ass.
Literally.
If I got up now, Mr. Ruffles and his friend would get a good look at skirt-less me, and my revealing "Yes, Daddy" undies—a gift from Jayden.
I should keep my head and ass low, instead, and creep out of sight.
Please go go go go, train!