(Double upload since the next chapter ties in with this one, and more of Mio;;))
By a 'chance', Giana had meant going on dates - playing lovers. She got a chance to elaborate once we were alone after practice, waiting for Jackie. We were stood outside the school awkwardly beside one another, both our hair darkened with the pool water. My fingers twitched against my bag strap. I was praying Jackie would hurry up, I was saying it over and over to myself, but I knew she was talking to the coach.
"Did you think about what I said the other day?" Giana asked suddenly.
"A little." I lied. It had been my every waking thought; I had come to obsess over it out of confusion.
"Do you still want to," she paused to look at me, "give me a chance? You can say no if you want... you seem like you wanna say no really."
I smiled weakly at her. "I do, still, honestly. But, what do you mean by a chance?"
Her face became pink as she started to explain. "Like think about me, and I dunno, go on dates and stuff."
"Think about you that way?" I said, referring to the romance everyone had been talking about.
"What way?" She looked a little surprised.
I quirked my eyebrow. "What other way is there?"
Her cheekbones flushed and she pursed her lips. "No other way..."
"So, that's all?" I glanced into the school through the doors, hoping to see Jackie's silhouette form behind the glass. But it didn't. "What other stuff?"
"Whatever you're comfortable with." She said, round eyes shining with the wobbly reflection of the sun. After she spoke, I could see her jaw muscles clenching at the sides of her face.
"You'll have to be specific, Giana. I'm really sorry but when I said I wasn't made for this stuff, I really meant I don't know anything about it." I sighed.
"Okay, you can start by calling me Gi, like Jackie does... if you want to." She suggested, and I nodded, telling her that was simple enough. "And we can call each other and stuff."
I realised the meaning of stuff was always going to remain ambiguous so I stopped asking about it, knowing I was getting nowhere. I figured I'd have to learn along the way. Giana's intentions weren't foul, I knew that. She was a really nice girl, but she was young and a little pushy, and had less patience for me than I'd wished for. It's what I needed the most. I liked the girl a lot - she was strange and interesting, but I didn't know whether I liked her the way she said she liked me.
"Would you want to go on a date with me?" She asked timidly.
"If that's what giving you a chance entails, then yes, I would want to go on a date with you." I smiled at her, and just as she went to speak again, the door to the school burst open and Jackie leapt at us, sliding her arms around my neck. I felt like kissing her again out of relief, but of course, I didn't. The confession from Giana had rocked the friendship strangely, but with the chance I was hoping the friendship would blossom differently.
That afternoon, I walked Giana all the way home and talked a little more about the agreed date. She seemed excited and that alone made me look forward to it more. I wanted her to be happy. Saturday was the day we decided on; she wanted to spend the whole day together. I wanted her to enjoy our date.
__________
So, on Saturday around eleven in the morning, I did my best to make myself look attractive. But I realised as I stared at my half-dressed reflection in the mirror that I knew nothing about how to dress for a date, and truthfully, I was feeling increasingly nervous. Jackie had promised to help me prepare, she'd told me she knew all about first dates like she was an expert and I trusted her.
So whilst I was tugging on a pair of black trousers, I dialed Jackie's number, struggling to keep my unfolded phone trapped between my ear and my shoulder. I listened to it ring as I buttoned up my trousers, stopping to admire the shape of my athletic legs in the mirror. But it carried on ringing with no answer. I needed the advice and help more than ever then so the lengthy ringing time flared up my date anxiety. I started thinking about whether my outfit would be acceptable: too formal, too casual, too stupid? The advice from my best friend was much needed.
I dialed again, and again came no response. I was starting to feel a bit frantic. I sifted through my wardrobe, throwing out random crumpled t-shirts in search of the outfit I was picturing. When I found the black sweater, I hurriedly struggled into it, fixing the neck of it so that it showed the white of the top beneath it and my necklace.My palms were sweating.
I dialed again. Nothing. I sent a few messages. No reply.
"For fuck sake." I muttered to myself, kicking my feet into a pair of sneakers and wrestling into a jacket.
I snatched my purse off the dresser side and bolted down the stairs and out the front door. My bike was chained up in the front yard against the metal stand my dad had made for me. I struggled with the combination, fuddling my fingers a few times and dropping the chain, cursing and then picking it back up again. But eventually, I managed to get the chain off and was up on the seat, feet stomping down on the pedals to get me onto the road. My heart felt like it had drummed its way up into my throat as I rode. It was a mixture of the adrenaline fueled from my date anxiety and my racing about. I was surprised my dad hadn't shouted out from the living room to ask why I was making such a racket.
I'd forgotten to tie my hair back so my mousy hair billowed out behind me under the thrust of wind. I didn't want to tousle my pants or crease them but I was pedalling hard, stood off the seat, working speedily towards the house. If I wasn't so anxious, I would've thought it was a good day for a date. The sky was cloudless, the air in our town smelling fresh like life and undergrowth, the tall grass field alongside Jackie's street waved like thin hands with the gentle licking wind. I saw a couple further up the field, where it curved to mould to a hillside, hands connected, moving up through the grassy tangles. They looked at me from their distance, features dark blotches with the range. As I stopped outside Jackie's house, feeling a little distracted, I raised my hand to them. They waved back, and disappeared through the grass like they'd never even been there in the first place.
My franticness reappeared and my heavy breath caught up with me. I dropped my bike to the curb, the sound of my gears and chain crashing making me wince. I banged with a fist on Jackie's door, knowing she's usually sitting in the living room. But, when the door pulled open, it was Mio who greeted me. I was red-faced and out of breath, and seeing her face only made me even more breathless.
She giggled softly, raising her slender hand to her lips as if to stifle it. Then she said, "Norah, what's wrong? Did you run here?"
"I did - I didn't." I spluttered. "I rode here. Very fast."
"Isn't your date today?" She asked, and when I raised an eyebrow to ask how she knew, she said: "Jackie mentioned."
"My date is in -" I checked my watch "- twenty minutes. I need help first. But Jacks didn't answer." I stood with my arms away from my hips. "How does it look? My outfit, is it too weird?"
Mio gave me a once over, eyes dragging down my body. "Of course it's not weird. You look good; smart and ready."
A smile broke out across my face, my hot face got hotter. The compliment itself would stick with me through the rest of the day, giving me self-confidence when it faltered. But it was the way she said it, in her voice, that warmed me.
I realised I was just smiling and saying nothing when she laughed quietly again. "Do you want me to get Jackie?" She asked, tilting her head a little.
"Sure... but, now you've given me the O.K I think I'm alright to head off. Thank you, Mio." I said gently, voice going quiet on her name as I didn't want Jackie to hear.
Her mouth opened but she didn't say anything, she just smiled genuinely back at me, features softened. Her dark lashes fluttered ever so subtly and I stared for a few seconds more.
Behind her, I heard the pad of slipper soles on the flooring and Jackie appeared, chewing on something. She laughed when she saw me, but I wasn't really paying attention until she stepped past her mom - who I was still looking at.
"You look hot!" Jackie exclaimed, sticking her thumb up. I looked at her and grinned.
"Are you sure?" I asked, smoothing my hand down the front of my sweater. Mio was leaning against the door, gazing at me and still smiling as she was.
"A thousand percent, you look great, Fish." Jackie nodded, then she stepped towards me, hands outstretched. "Here—"She said, pulling my hair back from my face and tying it neatly in a ponytail. "—Let her see your face. All better. Where are you going again?"
"I'll tell you all later. If you remember to pick up your damn phone." I started backing up toward my bike.
"Have fun," Mio smiled.
I flashed her a wobbly smile and picked up my bike, hopping up on the seat and pushing off.
My journey to the bus station was less frantic than the one to Jackie's house. I rode leisurely, only checking my watch once I was around the corner. The wind remained as a low breath around me, not threatening to ruin my hair or make me shiver. The weather felt only slightly chill for a day in November, but still with one hand I zipped my jacket up to the base of my throat.
The traffic increased nearer to the bus station, being as busy as it could in our small town, and I slowed, hiking my leg over the side of the bike to stand. With the lock chain I kept wrapped around the frame, I secured it to a half empty bike rack. People moved around me like flocks of fish in formation, their patterns swelling and thinning to match the width of the walkways and the urgency of their situation. I felt like I was gliding right through, parting through the shaping like a lone shark, or perhaps a stingray. Though in my calmness, all within me felt everything but it - my heart had climbed up into the back of my throat with its strenuous beating.
I saw her. Giana was standing by the doors to the information building, a white dress against her form, blonde locks loose against her shoulders like golden waves. She was holding a handbag against her thighs, looking pink in the face and weary. She appeared very dressed up for the date; the picture of a virgin in film with her flaxen hair and white dress. I expected it to flutter upwards around her waist as if she was Marilyn Monroe. As I neared, I saw the goosebumps on her bare arms, brown from the sun a few months before. I unzipped my jacket.
"Giana." I said to announce myself.
Her eyes flitted towards me and a smile broke out across her flushed face. "Norah! Hello, I didn't expect you to be early too... sorry."
"Don't be, let's start sooner then." I said, patting the back of her arm comfortably. "And here, you must be super cold." I draped my jacket across her shoulders and she looked up into my face as if I was a goddess.
I'd read that somewhere, and seen it in films and with couples on corners under street lamps. Offering jackets and coats was an experienced romantic move and I felt proud that I'd done it. It left me with a smile on my face and courage for the rest of the date.
We began to walk for our bus, which was taking us through the forests and out of our town, and I asked her about trivial things. The only way you could do anything proper around here was to leave town. If you wanted to do serious clothes shopping or fill the day with something interesting, you had to leave. Twin was such a dull, residential area making it not much of an attractor for anything exciting. The shops and such were all small and family-owned. There were no branded shops or fun buildings to visit. The lakes and the forests were the only things that kept most interested.
When the bus pulled up, I insisted Giana should get on first, pushing her up gently with casual touch. She was less chatty than usual, mouth pursed and eyes glossy. She was letting me do a lot of talking and I didn't mind at all—it made me feel like I was doing "dating" right. She took a seat nearer the back on the bus and patted the space beside her as if I was going to sit anywhere else.
"Are you excited, Norah?" Giana asked me quietly once the bus had started up. We'd shuffled close to one another, our arms flushed at the seat creases.
I nodded, "are you?"
She nodded with me. At our thighs, I felt her thin fingers brush my palm. I turned it so it was open and patient, and she slipped her hand into mine ever so gingerly as if I was made of china.
What romance! I thought of it as I stared out of the window, watching the town roads turn to country and the field to wood. My body was humming with a joy I could only relate to my new found pride. Perhaps, I was made to be a romantic after all, that it had been hidden within me all this time. Our hands remained clasped, and at one point, Giana even leant against me slightly, her blonde locks brushing my neck and shoulder. What romance indeed!
The great oaks and the maple trees in the forestry curled in towards the bus, arching and leading our way, breathing with the breath of life itself. I watched them all pass in a mesh of green and brown. I thought I would see the lake, Twin Lake, but we were sat on the wrong side of the bus. But before long, the greenery turned to brick and building as we entered the next town. It was only noticeably busier than Twin, but I felt the difference as I watched people strolling down the streets with shopping bags and cases. There were a lot of couples. I thought Giana and I might look like them.
I let her guide me. We got off the bus and she continued to walk with definite direction. We walked deeper into the city centre, moving against the crowd, our hands connected.
"Where are we going?" I called to her as we weaved through the crowds.
"An art gallery. It's just a little further up." She answered.
I'd never been to an art gallery before so I didn't know whether I would enjoy it then or not. But I was open to trying it. As someone who liked exercise and excitement, I doubted it was for me, but I wanted Giana to enjoy herself.
I asked myself as we walked where I would take a person I liked on a date. Swimming? I couldn't, I wouldn't know whether it would seem very romantic to them. Nature walk? Hiking? Talking under the stars? It would have to be a mutual decision, I thought, and I'd have to discuss and plan first - unless they wanted it to be spontaneous. Then I'd have to think for myself. But if you asked me, what would be ideal for me? I think I'd like to walk off-path in the wood, maybe find a secret way to the lake, take off our socks and roll up our trousers and splash about. Then talk about the important things about the both of us. I guessed that for Giana an art gallery was her ideal, and whatever she'd thought of for afterwards.
We came to a set of open doors to a large, dome-roofed building, and our hands released one another. Admission was free so all we had to do was walk right through. Giana walked like she'd been there before. We entered a high-ceilinged room decorated with art installments and paintings. I would've paid more attention to it if I wasn't thinking so much.
I thought as I looked on at Giana about an article I read about dating recently. Compliments are a must it had said - but keep them minimal but meaningful. Minimal but meaningful.
"You look beautiful." I said quietly, standing close to her as she gazed at a painting of a weeping woman.
Her head whipped towards me, cheeks hot red and eyebrows furrowed. "Stop it."
"Stop what? Did I do something wrong?" I asked, genuinely confused.
She moved onto the next painting, speaking in a hushed tone. "Saying that! Saying I'm beautiful..."
"Do you not like it?"
"Don't ask stupid questions." Her face was very red.
I didn't understand so I just laughed softly, standing behind her as she ambled from painting to painting. I wasn't really paying attention; I was thinking about what to do next on the date. What to say next really. I kept referring to my mental checklist of what I'd read in articles and heard from experienced people.
Talking, it had said, was important. To talk about meaningful things, or anything good to keep a conversation flowing.
"What does your name mean?" I blurted, saying what first came to mind.
"My name?"
"Your name."
She chewed her bottom lip as she thought, the blush in her cheeks fading. Then she said, "I think it means something about God. That's what my Nonna told me. I can't actually remember, but what does yours mean?"
I shrugged. "I don't know either. I think my name is English though."
"English family?" Giana said, looking at me rather than the art.
I smiled. "None. That would be pretty cool though."
She looked down at her feet. "Yeah, it would."
The walk around the gallery wasn't very interesting for me, but I tried to lighten it by talking to Giana. She told me about her family and her home life, and afterwards she asked me the same but I didn't have anything interesting to tell her apart from the fact that my parents were going through divorce. She seemed shocked by that. Once we left the gallery, we got pretzels and started to walk back in the direction of the station. Giana seemed overjoyed with the day. Her words got louder, features brighter, smiles wider. I liked to see it. She seemed braver too, as a few times, she gripped my hand or my shoulder and leaned against my body as she spoke.
She tired herself out, I think, with the excitement of dating. On the bus ride back, she slept quietly against my shoulder, little hands clutching the hem of her dove-white dress, pink mouth ajar as she snoozed. Her brown legs were slack against my knees, half of her thighs exposed and smooth. I thought anybody might love her, so why was she wasting her time on someone so imcompetant and slow romantically? I felt guilty about it. With her handbag, I shifted it so it covered her bare thighs. Then I closed my eyes too.
Back in Twin, the bus stopped and I opened my eyes, but Giana didn't. She was still sleeping against me and I imagined in the moment carrying her off the bus like a bride with her white dress tucked against my arms. But I patted her knee instead and waited for her eyes to flutter open, the blue in them finding me immediately.
"God, I slept. I didn't drool, did I?" She asked, embarrassed. We stood and shuffled down the bus aisle.
I laughed. "No, not at all. You sleep like an angel. It's not normal."
She stared at me.
"In a good way, of course." I reassured.
Off the bus and out in the fresh air, I stretched my limbs with a groan. Giana looked expectant. I smiled down at her.
"Whatsit?" I asked.
She coloured. "Would you want to stay over tonight?"
I almost choked on my spit at the idea. Of course, I couldn't. I needed to go home and process my day and everything I'd said and done. I couldn't stay at her house on the first date!
"You seem way too tired for me tonight, I also didn't bring any clothes. Go home and rest." I said smoothly.
She frowned, but she said she understood. To make up for the look of sadness though, I hugged her on our goodbye. B+ first date for me.