Nancy
"What's that?" Racheal asked. I froze at the question.
"What?"
"What's that on your neck?" She had a big smile on her face. She came to me and touched the spot. "You have two."
"Racheal. Are you playing with me?"
"No. You have two hickeys."
"Oh." I tried to cover them up with my shirt but failed.
"If mom sees them you know she gone bug you about where they come from. Good thing I come prepared." I watched as she took out her make up and begin dabbing the area.
"I never known you to carry makeup around with you."
"I normally don't. But since I began talking to Yolanda the girl love to suck on me a lot. I'm not complaining though." I chuckled.
"I'm glad you two are together."
"Really? Why? So I can leave Brandy alone."
"No that's not why. And I know you would never mess with Brandy now. What I meant was. I never seen you date anyone. It's good to see that you're happy with someone for once."
"Yeah. Yolanda is cool. I like her a lot."
"I see that. Yolanda is gorgeous."
"She is. It's just crazy that she even wants to be with me."
"Why do you say that? You are beautiful."
"I'm not worried about looks. It's just.... I don't know. She just makes me feel..." she paused again. "I don't know. It's weird..."
"If I didnt know any better I'd say you are in love or fallen in live."
"Is that what this is?" I laughed.
"It might be. Are you happy when you're with her?"
"I am. Although I have to admit that the woman made me a little apprehensive."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I guess cause I never been with anyone like her before. Shes so sure of herself. She knows what she wants without hesitation."
"Did she tell you what she want?"
"She told me. She showed me. She even spelled it out for me. Literally." She laughed. "Damn woman has a smart ass mouth when she wants to have one. I just feel shes in a rush to move forward."
"You're not sure about your relationship with her?"
"I dont know." She sighed. "I'm so confused right now."
"Well where do you see yourself with her...let's say...in the next five months."
"I still see myself with her. Even falling in love but i feel myself saying i love you in four months from now but I feel shes ready for that point in the relationship right now." She sighed again. "I just dont want to be rushed ya know?"
"I hear you. I felt the same with Brandy?"
"Yeah? She was rushing to be with you?"
"Not so much rushing to be with me but making feel as if I had to choose between staying in Texas with her or coming back here to you guys. To my job."
"Good thing she decided to come back with you huh?" I smiled thinking about my months in Texas.
"Yeah it's good she came. I fell in love with her fast." I said laughing. "Thinking about it now it took me three months to admit my love to her."
"Three months is long enough for that."
"Yeah I guess. She said it first though."
"Really?" I nodded my head.
"I guess I was too afraid to say it first but i said it after she did. That woman isnt afraid to tell you what she think or what she wants. Shes not afraid of change one bit. She came straight here with no hesitation. She started her realtor classes finished it within a few months of being here and already sold her first house and working on her second one. She started her own business all the while still having time for me. I didnt even know she started her own buisness or sold a house until you told me."
"Wow really?"
"I'm so stuck on the buisness and what's been going on here that I havent really had time for her. We've been on one date since being here. Everyday I worry about if this is going to be the day that she decides to leave me." I shook my head as I sighed. "I'm so in love with that woman that I don't know what I'd do if she did decide to leave me." I shivered from the thought. "I don't even want to imagine it."
"Thats funny because she said the same thing to me about you one day."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Damn I'm happy for you sis. You two are truly in love no matter what obstacles you two go through I see the love and even if I didnt see it the way you two talk about each other is evident enough. Maybe you should tell mom. That's what's really got you in fear to do anything with her."
"I can't tell mom."
"Why?"
"I dont know. Fear of being disowned by her I guess. The things she would say about gay relationships when we were younger. With that planted inside my head I just can't bring myself to say anything to her. She doesn't even know that Brandy is gay. That's how afraid I am to tell her. I asked Brandy to keep her sexuality a secret so mom wouldn't bash her about it. Or bash me for allowing a gay woman to live with me.
"You tell Allic and Evalyn about your sexuality?"
"No. I'm even afraid to tell them. We but heads with mom but you know Evalyn would tell her."
"I doubt that."
"She told you didn't she?"
"I'm different from mom. She knows how mom is."
I don't know. So much has gone on in this short period of time. Good and bad."
"That's life baby sis."
"Tell me about it."
"What if she wouldn't have come back with you from Texas?" I thought about that question for a minute.
"I dont know. I thought of so many ways that we could stay in touch with each other while she was there and I was here but I knew eventually that would die. I just knew I needed and wanted her in my life."
"Awe isnt that sweet."
"Whatever. You're in love also."
"No. Not yet anyway."
"So you don't care that she's leaving?"
"Who?"
"Yolanda."
"When did she tell you that?"
"She didn't Brandy did. She's going back to London."
"When?" I watched as she pulled out her phone and I snickered making her look at me.
"You're in love. Just admit it."
"Why do you think I am?"
"You're about to call Yolanda and ask her if shes leaving. And you're wondering why she didnt tell you. And right now you was planning on ways to see if you two can stay connected."
"I wasnt..."
"Yes the hell you were. Just for you to know. I made that up. Yolanda never told Brandy she was going back to London. I said that to see what you'd do." She sucked her teeth.
"You're wrong for that Nancy. Negative Nancy." She said making me laugh.
"Shut up. You're just mad because you're in love and you're afraid to be."
"I'm not afraid to be in love. I just want..."
"What?" I prompt.
"What if we're not compatible?"
"Its not about being compatible. It's simply about love and being there for one another. Because there will be arguments and days when you question if you were meant to be with that person but even after an argument and you still cant see yourself without that person that's when you know it's real. I can argue my eyes out with that woman and we can say some mean things to each other but at the end of the day I need to lay next to her. And talk to her. I dont know. It crazy. I just cant see myself without her.
"I guess we both got some straight forward I know what I want kind of woman."
"You're right about that one."
"When will she be here?" She asked as I stood from my seat.
"Any minute now." Today was the day of the grand opening and Brandy said she would be here. I hoped all went well and that woman didnt keep her word about kissing me in front of my family. I just needed to stay positive. How hard was that?