"How did you know?" she asked me while taking a sip of her Caramel Frappuccino which I got her on my way to Blackpink's dorm. She was all alone because the other three decided to visit their family and hang out with friends.
"What do you mean?" I asked surprisingly. I kinda knew what she was talking about but I didn't want to speak before she confirms what Mingyu told me the other day.
"That I wanted to quit," she answered calmly, her eyes never leaving mine.
At first, I didn't say anything but as her gaze was so strong, I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"I heard it from Mingyu," I admitted.
"I see."
"Are you angry?" I asked her after a few minutes passed and we still sat in complete silence.
"No, I'm not Jungkook. I'm grateful, since it's the reason I chose to stay" she stated and gave me one of her wide and sweet smiles.
I loved her smile. It made my heart beat faster and I felt a whole ZOO in my stomach just by looking at her happy face. She had a huge impact and sometimes I thought that saying "I love you" was too little in comparison what I really felt.
I adored her to be honest. With every ounce of my being to be exact.
As I watched her happily enjoying the sweet drink, I couldn't help but think about all the things I wanted to say to her.
How much I love her and how much she means to me. I knew very well that my jealousy could be too overwhelming, I knew that my possessiveness could be too much to handle but it was all because I was afraid.
I feared that I might lose her and her wanting to leave the industry without even telling me, really opened my eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me that things got too hard to handle?" I asked her slowly.
"It's not like I didn't want to tell you, but you were too busy. You trained every day, barely spoke to me and even when you did you fell asleep after a few minutes," she said quietly.
"I'm so sorry Lisa," I apologized, my heart tearing apart as I through about all the pain and loneliness she had to face without having anyone to turn to.
Of course, she had her members and her other friends but as her boyfriend I should have been the one standing by her side.
"It's okay, Jungkook," she said and gave me one of her sad smiles.
"No, it's not. But I promise to improve Lisa. I love you so much, I can't even put it into words," I said, tears leaving my eyes. "The feeling I have towards you overwhelm me sometimes, it feels unreal because I never knew that I could possibly feel this way. I know that there will be a whole bunch of obstacles on our way, but this time I promise you, you won't be alone. I won't allow anything like this to happen ever again."
Even though Lisa wasn't namby-pamby, I could see tears sliding down her cheeks, so I moved towards her and hugged her tightly.
We stayed like that for a few minutes, and when we parted, she said: "It was hard for me, really hard. I trained for five years in order to succeed, to find my place under the starts but it seemed like I was never good enough, it seemed like people just couldn't except me. I didn't want to bother any of you but the comments and letters just became too much for me to handle. It was the first time in my life that I started to doubt myself."
I looked at her, her sad and thoughtful expression broke my heart little by little.
"I know that it can get too much to handle Lisa, but one wise woman once said that you can always doubt others but you should never, by any cost, doubt yourself. And you don't have any reason to feel that way. There will always be mean, jealous and treacherous people, but you shouldn't give them too much attention, at the end the good one's count, "I said to make her feel better but I knew very well how she felt.
I found myself being insecure many times and even thought others might not notice it, I felt it. I always tried my best; I was so ambitious and fearless just to prove myself to others. Many things I did to prove myself to others and just a little to satisfy my own aims.
"I had my weak moments too, I was so shy that it almost cost me my debut, but with hyungs and others who loved and supported me, I made it and I'm sure you will overcome all the fears and self-doubt. Just give yourself time and don't stress too much about what others think," I added and smiled at her.
I loved the fact that we could sit in total silence and let our eyes talk. I could feel her and I believe she could feel me too.
"You know, Jungkook...I'm really happy I have you. I love everything about you since you know how to console me, make me laugh and you always surprise me with your smart talk. You are so sweet and such an intellectual, you are the whole package. I think I was very lucky to meet you," she said and took my hand into her's.
She played with my fingers for a few moments and then continued: "I love your smile, it makes me forget all the worries I have and not to mention those beautiful eyes of yours that light up every time you give me one of your rabbit smiles. I love your voice that is as soft as silk and sounds like a song to my ears, your strong arms that hold me tight whenever I feel down and..." she wanted to continue her confession but I couldn't hold myself back anymore.
I needed her. I needed her like a heart needs a beat, like an art needs an inspiration, like a devil needs a soul...
I kissed her. At first our kiss was slow and tender but as the seconds passed, we both grew too excited to maintain the slower pace. I found myself drunk, drunk of love.
"You drive me crazy, Lisa," I breathed out and gently pushed her on the couch. She didn't reply, she didn't resist, she seemed just as love intoxicated as I was.
Our tongues and lips kept being bussy and I made sure not to miss any inch of her mouth, lips, jaw, neck...My hand travelled down her body and rested on her hips.
I pulled her even closer to myself while my other hand slid under her shirt.
Her skin was incredibly soft and warm and just when the things got really hot, almost out of control, she suddenly hugged me and buried her face in the curve of my neck.
"I'm sorry, Jungkook. I can't..." she whispered apologetically.
"Baby, it's okay," I comforted her. "We don't need to rush. I'm sorry you got that feeling," I continued.
"No, you are amazing and this was amazing but I don't think I'm ready for another step just yet," she admitted and blushed even harder.
She was as red as a tomato and I couldn't refrain myself from smiling. She was so cute and I wished that this moment could last forever.
Me holding her in my arms, protecting her and loving her...I wished that we could stay happy, that nothing changes...but I knew very well that wasn't possible, so I just hoped that whatever the future held for us, was good.
I didn't want to lose her, because it felt that I would be losing myself as well if that happened.
"I love you, Jungkook."
"I love you too, my Lisa."
***************
Okay, so an update is here! I hope you like it! Thank you all for reading this story, we reached 1.1k and I really appreciate every and each one of you. Special thank to SAUDA_DA_DA, KriyanshiRaina1, dogasen, Yeccygg, keavanui, MissAnchal98 and Queenie1148 for upvoting.
Love ya all! See ya! < 333
P.S. How do you like the new cover? Was the old one better? Let me know if you want <3