Lovie
There are times when quiet means peace. Quiet can be calming, relaxing, enjoyable... but there are other times when the quiet can be damning. Right now. On this cold night, it's damning.
My mother is God knows where, my brother is probably snuggled in bed — in his own apartment, Astrid hasn't responded to my text, and the silence is deafening.
The kind of deafening that makes you wary of your own thoughts.
I'm not sure where my mom is, and that scares me. Don't get me wrong, she's a terrible mother, but I still want to know she's okay. Her boyfriend, Mitch, is a terrible influence. As if drinking herself into oblivion wasn't enough, she's been injecting herself with God knows what. It scares me. It makes me sick to my stomach.
I shiver as I plop myself onto the couch and turn the TV on. The Office. I just don't believe you're human if Michael Scott can't make you laugh while Jim Halpert makes you swoon. This will make me feel better. I smile to myself and settle in for the night.
Three episodes later that dreaded 'Are you still watching?' screen pops up. As I click to continue I hear a knock on my door.
It's ten o'clock in the evening, I had zero plans and no money for pizza. Maybe it's Jake.
As I make my way to the door I peak out the window to see Astrid bouncing on the balls of her feet. Pulling the door open I quirk an eyebrow at an obviously excited Astrid, "Are you okay?"
A squeal comes out of her mouth as she pulls me into a hug, "Aiden is back!"
I giggle hugging her back, "Yeah I know! He stopped by the station earlier."
She pushed herself off of me and held my shoulders, "Why didn't you tell me? We could have made plans with him tonight! I know you've missed him, and have you noticed his glow up? That boy glowed up." She popped the 'p' and waggled her brows.
I laughed and rolled my eyes, "Yes I noticed his glow up, he's always been attractive though. Where did you see him?" I began walking to the kitchen to grab a soda.
Astrid followed and informed me that she saw him at Burger King earlier with a group of guys from school.
"So there's a party tonight." Astrid grabbed the soda from my hand and casually took a sip.
I pursued my lips and nodded, "That's cool."
"We should go."
"You can go, I don't want to."
"Please?"
I let out a groan, "Why?"
"Well, because I can't go to Asher Adam's party by myself. You're the best DD I know, and you never drink and you never do drugs. You're like the poster child for saying no to peer pressure."
I stared at her for a moment, she was right. I always said no. I have witnessed first hand what drugs and alcohol do to you, and not to sound cliche or anything but I ain't about that life.
"Okay." I sighed, A let out a loud squeal of excitement, "On one condition!" I interjected before she could get too excited.
"You name it!"
"If you drink you don't do any drugs, if you do any type of drug, you do not drink."
She nodded excitedly and pushed me towards the steps, "Yes! I agree, now let's get you dressed!"
I happily oblige and head to my room to allow her to sift through my clothes. A few minutes later she threw a ratty band tee towards me and a pair of high waisted 'mom' jeans.
I held the shirt up, trying to remember where I got it, "A, I think this is my moms shirt." I look at the rips in the sleeves and the fact that it was cut above the torso, "I think my boobs might spill out of the bottom." I scrunched my nose at the thought.
"Ah, yes but I have a solution." Astrid walked to my dresser and pulled out a lacy black bralette, "Put this in under the shirt and put your black boots on." She smiled at me as she pulled on a black skirt from my closet.
After I dressed, I pulled my hair out of the messy bun it was in and applied a smidge of mascara and chapstick. Astrid seemed to think that was a crime, but she let me be. Which I was thankful for.
"So, are you excited to see Aiden again?" Astrid asked nonchalantly. I paired my phone with her Bluetooth and scrolled through my music selection.
"I guess so. It's been a while since we've been around one another." I shrugged, "I'm sure we've both changed, we might not get along as well as we used to. Or even be interested in the same things."
She audibly rolled her eyes with a scoff, "Okay, sure but that doesn't erase him being ridiculously attractive now."
"Okay, why don't you pursue him then?" I shot her a sweet smile.
She scrunched her nose up, "No, thank you. Yes he is cute, but I'm really into Hannah. She's gonna be at the party tonight." A smile was on her lips as her eyes glazed over at the thought of Hannah. She'd been seeing her for a couple of weeks now, and she seems incredibly smitten with her. As long as she's respected and appreciated the right way, I'm okay with whoever she decided to date. I'll be even happier if she's happy.
I smiled over at my best friend in awe of how confident she had become since coming out as bisexual to her parents. The happiness she radiates is contagious and I love it.
"Since when does Asher throw parties?" I questioned as I looked out the window at the houses passing by. I'd never been one for parties, I only go when Astrid decides its worth it. I don't want her to rely on anyone else to get her home safely. I've never touched a drop of alcohol in my life, and the plan is to never do so.
"I guess since he started dating Penelope. He's had a few patties this year, just none worth going to. This one is supposed to be the best of them all. Basically the entire school will be there, even the brooding Brit." She waggled her eyebrows at me and winked before she went back to singing the Blink-182 song that was playing.
I rolled my eyes at her and hummed the song to myself.
It's not that I don't like the guy, he's just so... frustrating. He's incredibly intelligent, more so than most people I know, but he refuses to acknowledge that. I wonder if he's always been like that. His parents seem so prim, proper, and sweet— it baffles me how he came from them.
I notice the houses we pass getting larger and larger before we stop in front of a house that is filled with disorderly teenagers. How in the hell has no one called the cops? I rolled my eyes and turned to A, "You ready?"
She grinned and got out of the car. While we walked up to the door she fixed her hair and secured her strappy sandals. "Let's do this!" She pushed open the door and walked in like she owned the place.
Once again, her confidence is admirable. I giggled to myself and followed behind her to the kitchen. She spotted Hannah on her way and greeted her with a rather PG-13 kiss. I smiled and continued my way to the kitchen.
I noticed the kitchen table was littered with red solo cups, but no people. Guess that's where I'll be sitting. I sat down quickly and put my earbuds in and turned music on before pulling a notebook out of my bag and writing.
My thoughts, ideas, theories, sentences... everything that I ever think of goes in this notebook. One day, I'll finish this book. One day, I'll publish this book. As I wrote, I fell into a daze, glancing up every so often and surfing through the crowd to lay eyes on Astrid.
I felt my earbud fall out but before I could pull it back in a familiar voice startled me, "Do you always write so intently, love?"
I nearly jumped out of my own skin. "Good God!" I yelped, "You're like a pop up book from hell. What do you want?" I held onto my chest as my heart beat steadied from a thud to an average strum. As my breathing steadied, I looked up to his face. His beautiful face. I don't understand how it's fair for someone to be this attractive.
His gaze flirted down to my notebook, instinctively I closed it and shoved it back into my bag. "Can I help you with something?" I asked, trying to make my voice seem calm.
He shook his head gave me a small smile, "No. I just didn't expect to see you here. I thought you didn't do parties."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He was right I had told him before I didn't do parties. Though, being the smart ass I am I retorted, "Does it look like I'm doing parties right now?" I looked around for added emphasis. Noting how the kitchen had somehow turned into make out central. When had that happened?
Zeke let out a surprised laugh and looked around before lifting a solo cup to his lips, "No. No I suppose not." He took a brief sip of whatever liquid was in his cup and spoke again, "So do you always not do parties like this?"
I pursed my lips and stood up from the table, "No. Normally, I just don't come."
"Then why did you?"
I looked in the direction of Astrid and gave a small smile as I noticed how happy she seemed with Hannah. "I was asked to be DD. I can't exactly turn my best friend down." I pulled my bag over my shoulder and pulled out a water bottle from my purse.
"You brought your own water? Isn't there water here? I'm certain I've seen a few people with bottles."
I shrugged. "Probably, but I'm not going to chance taking a sip of vodka, tequila, or rum on accident." I kept my eyes on Astrid and continued to sip my water.
"Ah." I felt him move closer to my side, trying to see who I was looking at. "Who is she? A potential girlfriend perhaps?"
I rolled my eyes, I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, "Hardly," I quipped, "She likes girls enough for the both of us." I gave a breathy laugh, "She's my best friend."
I gave him a glance out of the corner my eye, he was nodding slowly still sipping on his drink.
"I've seen you with her before. I wasn't sure if I had misread your sexuality." He turned his head towards me, smirking, "I didn't." He winked.
Ugh.
I rolled my eyes, "Maybe I'm asexual, and not attracted to anyone." He choked on the drink he had just taken and I chuckled. I raised my brow at him, probably coming off as far more flirty than I had intended.
But I did intend to flirt. How could I not want to flirt with him? Have you seen him? He's god-like. It's annoying how pretty he is. I stared at him for a moment noticing how long his lashes were, and how his bottom lip was much fuller than his top. Kissable nonetheless. Bitable too. Oh son of a—
"Lovie?" He whistled at me, waving a hand in my face.
"What?" I snapped out of my thoughts. Thoughts of kissing him. Thoughts of biting him.
"You zoned out for a moment, I was beginning to think you were thinking all sorts of naughty thoughts." He brushed a piece of hair from my face and trailed his fingers slowly down my neck, "Of me." He whispered softly licking his lips while staring at mine. At least I thought he was looking at mine.
"I—" I began, but was quickly cut off by the sound of my name being called by a male voice.
I turned around to see who was calling my name out.
Aiden.